


Heart Like Yours

by poetdameron



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: F/M, If I Stay AU, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 132,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8004730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/pseuds/poetdameron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackie goes home to Point Place for Donna and Eric’s wedding, but an accident and an unexpected experience may show her a reality she never thought was happening around her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Ghost Story

**Author's Note:**

> I have so much to say about this fanfic... Like the fact that the idea jumped to me in the most random way possible. I was just... sitting there at work, when suddenly my brain went "Imagine an 'If I Stay' AU with Hyde and Jackie" and soon, I was plotting. Now, if you have read the book, you know what may be coming. But really, the only thing like the book is the accident, I didn't want to re-do the book or the movie, because teen drama is beyond me a this point. I'm just putting these characters here so they will work their shit out, they need it. So... here it is. 
> 
> This fic is my baby, guys. I put a lot of effort in it and I got great help from my dear NannyGirl, who also betaed this and helped me with my english. All errors are mine, if you want to point them out to me, please do it in a nice way. Remember that english is my third language! And finally, enjoy!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/150233339975/heart-like-yours-chapter-i-a-ghost-story) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart like yours**

**I – A ghost story**

_November 15, 1982. New York City. 12:17 am._

The noise of the club almost silenced her laugh, but like many times before, it broke through any space until it reached his ears. It was also impossible not to look at her when she laughed. Her entire face brightened with her sudden happiness and the way her lips curved always reminded him of why she was the most gorgeous woman in the world. Jackie never gave an objection to laugh. Not even when her other rich friends tried to tell her she would get wrinkles early on if she kept with the stupid laugh, that was one of the only times in which she would speak her mind to them. Wrinkling her nose and putting a finger high to make it clear she was in the right corner of the argument, she would shut them up simple: ‘There’s no more beautiful woman than one that laughs’, which was something he had told her once. They hadn’t even been together yet, he was still living with his mother when it happened, but she remembered. All those years ago, she remembered; just like she kept the belief alive today, laughing from under the live music she had made him listen to and dance to. Tonight was for her, something he didn’t give her when they were together. And yet, she had chosen a place he would love, she had taken him to the one place his younger self always wanted to visit. Because even now, living in a different city and engaged to another man, Jackie was still thinking of him first, then herself.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“What?” She yelled in front of him, her bangs were starting to get out of their trap, her hair was already a mess after running in Central Park and then jumping here at the rhythm of punk rock. “I can’t hear you!”

“Let’s get out of here!”

“Where?” She smiled, taking his hand and walking towards the stairs. Her friend waved at her and Jackie waved back, cornering him near the bottom of the stairs. “Where do you want to go now?”

“Uh,” he looked at her face, red and a little bit sweaty. She didn’t care anymore. She was having fun. With him. So, he would risk it. “My hotel room, let’s—“

“Hyde, no.”

“Listen to me first.” His hands grabbed her shoulders as quick and soft as he could, he was not losing her again. Hyde smiled, “let’s hit it.”

“Oh my god!” And she laughed again. “You are the wooooorst!”

But she took his hand again and climbed the stairs as fast as her high boots would let her. His fingers closed around hers, like back in 1978 and their first days together, walking at night when Point Place was in silence. Right now, New York lived and roared wild against their skins once the night’s chill reached them out. The guy at the door wished them goodnight, and Jackie reminded him she would be back at the club next Friday with her friends. Hyde looked back as they walked, the CBGB was a dream he had since he was twelve and half in love with music, and Jackie had allowed it to come true tonight.

“I can’t believe you are friends with the administration. Since when is a communications student friends with punk rock scene masters?”

Jackie shook her head, biting her bottom lip. “Since her fiancé is a master in the music scene. You have no idea how many people I once heard about from you, I’ve met by now…”

“I should hate you. It’s not fair.”

“Hey!” She looked at him, her slightly short hair was stuck between the neck of her coat and her skin. “You are the one who didn’t have the idea of maybe starting daddy’s empire again until now. But,” she looked up, as if thinking about her next words, “I’m sure you’ll do great, Hyde.”

 _Hyde_. Hyde, _Hyde_ , **_Hyde_**. If she kept calling him that, it was going to drive him insane. Again. “Yeah, well… nothing a beer or two with your hubby can’t change.”

She smiled again, nodding and then asking for his hotel, walking to the road so they could get a cab, still holding hands. Sitting at her side, his fingers drumming over her thigh as she told him about her classes and the work interview she just had that day, before finding each other in the middle of a crowded room, Hyde recognized the pain on his stomach. It didn’t matter the hours they spent together today, tomorrow he would go back to Kenosha, to his work; and she will wake up in Milo’s arms, happy to go to school, kissing said man good morning and good day, giving him all her loving and happy smiles. Looking at her face while she talked, it occurred to him this was just a stolen moment. He had lost her a long time ago, and she could only give him one night out of the rest of her life. If he was lucky, maybe one day they could be friends. Meanwhile, it was his turn to get his shit together, and accept the pain of seeing the person you love with someone else.

“Jackie?”

“Huh?” She put her head on his shoulder, he could see the hotel’s shining sign already.

“Is there something you would like to change?”

Her face frowned. “As, in about myself?” Hyde opened his mouth to correct, but she smiled. “I would get bigger boobs.”

Surprised, his eyes searched for her smiling face with an arched eyebrow. “What?”

“Yeah! I mean…” Her tiny hands cupped her rack and Hyde’s body reacted by gluing his eyes to her movements. “I know these are pretty and soft, but deep down, all a girl wants are big boobs so her man won’t leave her.”

Just like that, a flash of the women he ever touched and looked at while with her and without her, passed in front of his eyes, and he looked down. Fuck. Her fingers left her body, slowly playing with one curl of her hair, while her other hand caressed her own cheek. This couldn’t be about him. Or maybe it was. And maybe it was also about Kelso, and Pam Burkhart’s education, and every time she had to listen to her mother’s disgusting manners and criticism about her body. He had listened to that, many years ago, and yet—

“I mean, if you could, would you change something from the past?”

Jackie looked at him, her mismatched eyes never looked as sincere as tonight. “I know what you meant, and I stand with my answer.”

******

_December 2, 1982. Kenosha’s bus station. 6:10 pm._

Jackie looked up when the bus arrived and the speakers announced her turn to get in the line. She waited for all the old people and children to get in, so she would be the first in line to enter the bus next, grab her seat as quick as possible so she wouldn’t have to speak to anyone. The small woman put her travel bag on her shoulder, her purse under her arm and pulled her suitcase over to the bus trunk without help for the first time in almost two years, since she started dating her just recently ex-fiancé. She gave Kenosha’s bus station a last look before heading to the line and promised herself she won’t let anything get in her way ever again; she was going back to Point Place just because Donna was getting married in two weeks and Mrs. Forman also asked her to stay with her and her husband, since her three children had left the house already. She couldn’t deny anything to Kitty, not after the scare they got when she was diagnosed with diabetes, just a few weeks before she left town.

It made her felt like shit, having to leave Kitty and Red when they could use the company, especially after Red and Ste—Hyde’s relationship had torn leaving a big hole, it was the reason he left the house, two years ago. It didn’t mean he wasn’t there for them, because he certainly was; Hyde was there every two days, like religion, at the Forman’s for dinner and to check on Kitty. Yet, it wasn’t the same, as the woman told Jackie over the phone when she asked her to stay the winter break with them. Her older daughter was doing god knows what, in god knows where, with god knows who; her baby boy was getting married for good this time, out of town educating some asses at Madison with his fiancé and living in an apartment they maintained together almost since he came back from Africa in the summer of 1980; and her adoptive son disappointed her for something Jackie provoked (“none of it was your fault, Jackie”, Kitty had said once anyway) and then got into a big fight with her husband and left, something none of the men talked about and that was driving Mrs. Forman insane. So she said yes; for the first time after sleeping there for a couple of weeks in secret, Jackie was going to truly live with the Formans.

“I’m sorry…” A young woman said, getting something from near Jackie’s shining boot. Jackie moved her foot to let her grab whatever it was. “She is a little nervous, it’s our first time going home since we moved out!” She announced and Jackie nodded, looking at the seat parallel to hers on the other side.

There was a cute little girl, chubby cheeks red with the soft winter, and blue eyes glowing like Christmas’ lights. She smiled at Jackie when she noticed her stare, and Jackie smiled back. She reminded her of Betsy, who she hadn’t seen in a while. “It’s okay”, she finally answered.

The little girl waved at her and Jackie waved back, she could feel the girl’s mother looking at her after freezing in front of her. “Jackie Burkhart?” The tone of surprise made her look up.

“Oh, my god!” Was her answer, standing at the same time the redhead woman did. “Kat!”

Kat Peterson of all people.

The older girl hugged her as a way to say ‘hi’, like an old friend would do if they weren’t too busy bitching about the other behind their backs during their school days. It felt weird, but a good weird too, Jackie realized as she held the girl in her arms. She hadn’t seen Kat for almost four years, the last time being also one of the last times she saw her mother at a rich people party. Back then, Kat had been dating Buddy’s older brother and seemed to be the same as ever. In fact, Jackie remembered as they sat in their assigned seats and Kat voiced her affectionate surprise on seeing her there; the last time she saw Kat, she had still been dating Hyde and he had refused to accompany her to the boring party, to which Kat answered with one of her bitchy smiles and a pat on her shoulder, like if she had actually passed what Jackie was suffering at the time. After that, her only topic was her sexual life with Hyde, and Jackie never told the man, secretly mad at him, something that then became the start to one of their last fights. All they did during their last months together was fight.

“She’s Harley.” The ex-cheerleader showed her daughter and Jackie’s eyes opened with a little surprise. Kat Peterson had a daughter. Was she married too? “Oh! You are engaged, Jackie!” She announced as if the heavy meaning of the ring she hasn’t been able to take off didn’t echo the rest of her body. By instinct, Jackie looked at her hand, at her expensive and shining ring. Kat took her hand to give it a better look and smiled sweetly at her. “Damn, that Hyde! He did great with this one, I’ve seen it on Vogue Brides last month, this is one hell of a ring!”

Fuck.

Jackie’s smile dropped and so did her hand. Looking at the ground, she noticed Kat’s smile following her lead and Jackie looked up at her, making a line of her lips. “Oh, no. No, no, no… Hyde and I didn’t work out, that’s ancient story.”

Kat’s eyes opened wide like her mouth, and her daughter talked first. “Mommy! The flies will nest on your mouth if you don’t close it!”

Jackie couldn’t help but laugh a little, the small blond was a cutie. Kat smiled at her daughter, then looked at Jackie with apologetic blue eyes. “Jackie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t meant to—“ The redhead interrupted herself, looking back at her daughter who was playing with colorful rings now, then at the brunette. “You know, everyone thought you two were endgame…”

“What? No way!” Really, she was kind of surprised. She still remembered how much of an assholes the sports team and the cheerleaders were to her when everyone knew about her and Hyde. Yet, she reminded herself, they were just kids. Now was different. “Ew, no! I was 16, Kat, come on.”

Kat gave her a knowing smile. “But, are you happy?”

For a second, Jackie wondered who this woman in front of her was. And again, she reminded herself that they were just kids the last time they saw each other. Kat was no longer the most popular girl of Point Place’s High School, she wasn’t a cheerleader either, or the biggest bitch around. Instead, Kat was a mother, probably a wife, a woman with a job, someone who smiled to people she used to know and meant the happy glow of her smile.

So Jackie nodded, “His name’s Milo”, she offered, not truly feeling like talking about her incorrect assumption. She knew too many questions will follow, and that there will be pity for the shit that went wrong just a couple of days ago. Yet, thinking about Milo didn’t hurt, it actually still made her happy somehow; in a way, she knew it was for the best. Milo deserved an all-time partner in crime, and she wasn’t it. He wasn’t it for her, either. It just happened. “I knew him through Donna, you remember her? Donna Pinciotti?” Kat nodded, the bus engine was started and Jackie sighed, wondering what awaited her back at the place she once called home.

“Going home without him?”

“He’s traveling for work!” She answered over the driver’s voice announcing their departure, maybe talking with this young mother would help her ignore the aching sore of her stomach. “I’m actually going for my best friend’s wedding. Donna is finally marrying her childhood sweetheart, Eric Forman!”

Kat smiled brightly, she seemed like a nice person now, and a nice mother too. Her voice was soft, like it was part of her all modern and fresh mom package, and she had brought a special seat for her daughter and the girl was wrapped safely but without being held captive, she could move well and look at them talking. “That’s wonderful! My best wishes for them!”

The brunette couldn’t help but smile, she was a big fat liar if she said she wasn’t happy or excited for Donna. And while she saw it coming, it didn’t meant it wasn’t the happy ending of that part of her life she wanted for her friend. “Thank you, I’ll let her know.” She said, the bus was driving away from the city in time and the weather was perfect. “How old is she?”

Harley was three years old, and Kat had her all alone to her big surprise. Feeling some kind of compassion at the older girl’s sad smile while talking about the mysterious dad of her little one, Jackie didn’t want to ask more about it. No rings on the most popular girl of school, a broken relationship with her entire family with the exception of a couple of aunts who gave her shelter when she decided to keep her baby, and who also invited her to stay the winter break with them. Different from Jackie, she was working as a secretary for a prestigious law firm and never went to college. Knowing all this, Jackie felt a hole on her chest; maybe it was some kind of curse that the whole cheerleader team was condemned to have shitty lives or something. But, as the road became darker and the blur of the cars passed out their windows, Kat made it clear her life wasn’t like that. Not at all.

“I mean…” She said, giving a shy look to Jackie, “I won’t say it doesn’t suck to be alone, sometimes… but is not so bad. It helped me find my own worth.”

That. Jackie smiled. She could relate to that. “Tell me about it, I had a couple of rough years too. Ended bad a relationship that I thought was, you know, _it_. It made me feel like I was nothing, and what happened after was even worse. Really, 1979 and 1980? Worst years of my life.”

“I heard you were working with Christine St. George?” She asked, Jackie nodded. “What happened? You would make one hell of an anchor, you know?”

Jackie laughed at that, she couldn’t help but feel flattered by it. “Yeah, I know!” Kat laughed with her then, “But it was awful! She is an awful person, I swear to god. I was fired and re-hired all in the same day when she was in a good mood. I got tired after a while, and with Donna going to collage I finally realized maybe I wanted that too.”

“Oh, so you study?” Jackie nodded and Harley took her mother’s attention, saying she was thirsty. “Just a second…” The redhead stood up to grab her travel bag, taking out a bottle of water, a box of grape juice and then looked at Jackie, “You want something? We have grape and apple juice, coke, water and cherry soda.”

“Uh…” She hadn’t thought of bringing something to drink, smart move. “You know what? It’s winter break, give me that coke.”

Kat smiled at her, standing in front of Jackie’s seat when a rough movement made her drop the bottle she was handing to the younger woman. Jackie tried to stand too when the redhead lost her balance and the entire bus seemed to stop; in a flash, they were all thrown against one side of the bus and then, all faded to black.

******

_November 18, 1982. Milo and Jackie’s apartment, New York City. 8:34 pm._

Milo never yelled, in fact, he seemed to never get mad about anything, no matter how hard and difficult the situation may have been. He had a kind spirit, a good heart, and a sweet smile. At first, Jackie had tried to avoid him when Donna introduced him after a conference back in Madison; he was the type of man Jackie could stare at for a long while, the kind of man she could see herself tangled in bed with, so avoiding him was the right answer. Milo was her type. And back then, it meant he had something similar to Hyde and she couldn’t afford even thinking of his name at that moment, but in the end she understood Donna’s dirty intentions of introducing her new friend to her best friend.

Slowly, the man had opened a path to her with his easy laugh and good humor, his always supportive hand was what first attracted her to him as a man, and everything else just fell right into her hands until she realized they had something good going on. All the growing and decisions she took with him had taught her as much as she could realize, her feelings for him were always clear and never a problem. Milo was safe, he wanted similar things to what she dreamed for herself, supported her studies and career ambitions, and never, ever, even thought of mocking her for anything, not even as a joke between them. Milo’s respect for her was exactly what Donna had seen in the man, it was the reason she wanted them to meet in the first place, and Jackie was sure as the day is bright, she loved that of her man, too.

Yet, it wasn’t enough.

“So, you are telling me that all you needed was ONE night and that’s it?” He said, his green eyes shining with a feeling Jackie knew too well: betrayal. “You are running back to him like nothing had happened between us, between the two of you?” Milo added. Not yelling, not angered, only _concerned_ and hurt. The sight of Milo’s face getting red with his eyes watering made her heart ache. “Jackie, come on. What is going on?”

“What? No, no. This isn’t about him, Milo.” And it was true. She understood why he would think so, after all, she confessed to having seen him just a few days ago. But no, it was time to tell the truth. “Listen, this was something I’ve been trying to tell you for a while. I just didn’t know how and with how tense we have been lately, I just…”

He deserved better, she did too. And after the many laps she had given the elephant in the room, it was just fair to let him know. Maybe the timing was what she did wrong, but Jackie couldn’t stay another day with all the tangible tension that formed between them since her confession, three days ago. Seeing him, though, had been another confirmation of what she already knew: there was something missing in her relationship with this sweet and romantic man.

“Milo, we never have fun together anymore. And before you say it’s because your job has been consuming you and I’ve been working hard at school, listen to me, please.” He stopped walking around the room, standing in front of her with both hands on his waist, like he was holding his back, holding himself from falling right in the spot. It was a sickening view. “You are the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, but I…” Jackie gestured with her hands, like she was trying hard to grab something in the air, then looking around to signal everything. “I don’t belong here. This is about how unhappy I am here, about how I miss my friends, the people I consider my family, every damn day and how I thought about just leaving to see them and never coming back, all without you. This is about me knowing I can’t marry you if we are the happiest doing our things by ourselves, not sharing it with the other. You deserve be—“

“No!” There it was. Jackie straightened her back the moment Milo looked up and yelled with his finger pointing at her. “Don’t start with the “you deserve better”, that’s bullshit and you know it!” He said, after a pause in which they only looked at each other, he nodded. “You don’t love me.”

Jackie opened her mouth, about to say ‘no’ but the words never came out. Her heart stopped for a second, watching him nodding and calling out for god, his voice breaking between words. “No, Milo. How could you said that? I do, I love you. I really do.”

“Jackie, for the love of god…” Finally, he sat back in front of her in their dinner table. The silence of their apartment had always upset her, and this time was no different. “You know? I thought maybe you were homesick for the past, but I guess I was just trying to be nice to myself… my mistake.”

“What are you talking about?”

“ _Jacque_ …” The love name was back, she smiled at least. “If we move back to Point Place, would you marry me and stay with me? Or is it _me_ where you don’t belong?”

“Don’t do this, Milo…” She stood up, this was a conversation Jackie thought she was ready for, but his eyes, his deep green eyes, were killing her. “You know the answer.”

“Then, you don’t love me.”

Neither of them said anything next, she heard him approaching her from behind and didn’t walk off when his hands touched her shoulders, soft and gentle. Kissing her head, he let out a sigh and Jackie felt her entire body ache when he was gone.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love him, it was that she didn’t love him as much as she was supposed to.

******

_December 2, 1982. Highway to Point Place. 7:04 pm._

“Fuck…” Jackie murmured as her hand touched her forehead, her whole world was spinning and she couldn’t feel a damn thing.

The noise around her at least meant she wasn’t alone, and whatever had happened with the bus, they were being helped already. Her thoughts were confirmed by looking around: police officers and nurses moved like ants whose home had been disturbed. “Excuse me?” She called out, they were all passing her and it occurred to her that maybe they had already checked her and they saw she was fine, but she wasn’t in a cot and nothing seemed to be in order with the rest of her. “Hey! Over here!” Nothing. Jackie rolled her eyes, did she had to do everything by her own? Fine.

Standing, the first thing she noticed was her lack of shoes and panic raised on her chest. Those boots cost her a lifetime and she was still paying for them! Her mismatched eyes searched for them, walking through grey snow and orders of officers until she realized something else: she wasn’t truly feeling anything. No cold on her feet, the air on her face, the warm of the bunch of people and the stupor of the accident.

Her heart hammered inside her when she looked right into an officer standing at her side, “Excuse me? Officer? Hey!” The man didn’t answer, doesn’t even flinched when she touched him and then, it hit her: she was trying to pull at his clothes, and nothing was happening. As if her fingers didn’t have any force, like if she wasn’t there. “Hey! Don’t ignore me, you ass!” And she aimed for a punch, but it was like the man was an illusion.

“Crap, if we don’t hurry, this one is not gonna make it.” A doctor commented as he helped pull a cot holding an elderly woman Jackie had seen getting into the bus with her husband. “We’ll search for ID’s at the hospital. Come on, we are losing time!”

“Hey, doctor!” She tried again, but once more was ignored. Everyone passed of her and her chest started to rise and fall in a desperate way.

No, this wasn’t happening. It has to be a mistake, a dream, a very bad, vivid, dream. She certainly fell asleep on the bus, even though she never did, she was tired just a few hours ago after all, one hell of a day this had been. So she was sleeping, going safely back home, to be with Red and Kitty Forman, to be there for her best friend on her wedding day, to see her little goddaughter, and Fez, and even Hyde. There was no way she was—was she…?

“She’s alive! A cot, we need a cot over here!” Announced a nurse, slowly caressing… was that? Was that—Her? HER!

Jackie’s eyes opened like plates, automatically walking towards the nurse who was caressing her cheek, or the left cheek of her body. She had said she was alive… but she was here, standing in front of her body and the nice nurse. “You are gonna be fine, sweetheart.” She said to her still body, “we will be doing all we can to keep you here with us, but you have to fight with us. It’s all in your hands, honey.”

In her hands? She looked at them. No scratch. There was blood on her face, on the body in front of her. She had a parted lip, blood on her forehead, on her shirt and coat. That coat had been a gift from Milo! Shaking her head, Jackie looked as her body was being manhandle into a cot as other doctors or nurses took her vital signs, then valued her position and finally discovered a horrible hole on her back. She turned when she saw the furious red of her own blood and flesh, the literal hole on her back that the doctor was checking now. So that is it, right? She is dead. Jackie Burkhart is dead, killed by a bus accident.

Tears formed on her eyes, she couldn’t feel a single thing, but she was sure the emptiness on her belly was all she needed to understand she was going to purge her sins now, maybe it was life having retaliation on her for all the times she was a complete asshole and bitch to other people. Then, another idea occurred to her: Kat and Harley.

“It seems to be superficial,” the doctor said, “but I’m starting to worry for her lungs. Time to go. Let’s go! Go, go!”

They picked up the cot holding her body, and Jackie decided to follow. If she was alive, if her body still had energy or whatever it was, maybe she could put herself back in there and walk out of this one alive and with a story to tell back home; Michael and Fez would love it, maybe Eric would find a nerdy explanation for it. So Jackie sat at one side of her sored body, listening to the prayers of the nurse that had found her.

Before the ambulance closed its doors, she saw another group carrying an unconscious Harley and Jackie’s heart gave a horrible ache through her soul.

Literally.

*********


	2. Family ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aware of Jackie’s accident, The Formans and Donna arrive to the hospital to be near their friend. Jackie and Eric share a phone since Donna is too sad to even talk, something that makes Jackie wonder what could be going on in her friend’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I decided to update earlier than I thought because this weekend is Mexico's Independence Day and I have an event to attend in my ranch. That said, I want to announce that updates will be on saturdays, except when things like these happens.
> 
> Thank you all for your support, kudos, comments, follows and more! I'm very happy and excited with the response this fic got, it makes me more willing to finish it and give these updates to you all. I hope you all enjoy today's chapter. Thank you!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/150434176975/heart-like-yours-chapter-ii-family-ties-jackie) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart like yours**

**II – Family ties**

_December 2, 1982. The Forman’s kitchen. 9:36 pm._

“Mr. Forman? Mr. Forman!” Donna stood up as quick as she could, taking Red’s arm, impeding him from falling to the ground like the phone did. “Jesus, Mr. Forman? Are you alright? What happened?”

_“Mr. Forman? Mr. Forman, are you there? We need confirmation of—“_

“Jackie…” he murmured, one hand on the wall, while Eric and Kitty entered the kitchen in hurry after hearing the commotion from the living room. “It’s Jackie, she…”

_“your relation to Miss Burkhart, so we can—“_

The silence that followed after was something Donna will never forget.

A cold feeling ruled her entire body as she saw in slow motion Red’s face turn paler than seconds ago, the person on the phone informing once more what had made the older man almost fall in his kitchen: _“so we can inform you about her situation. Mr. Forman?”_

Kitty acted first as always, hurrying to take the phone and answer the woman who had lost Red in the process. Eric looked at Donna for a second before he decided to take his father to sit back at the kitchen’s table while she stayed near Kitty, her ear glued to the opposite side of the phone’s speaker, so she could hear. Something she wished she hadn’t.

“Oh, no!” she said, Eric’s green eyes followed her voice but Donna was too shocked to even notice Kitty had started shaking and nodding to the person on the phone. “Eric, Eric…” the man stood, not knowing how to act and who to hold now.

His father was there, eyes down and pale face, his mother was almost crying into the phone and Donna? She was almost falling apart, shoulders going up and down, following the example of her chest, her cheeks going red with her nose. She was about to cry.

“Eric, oh my god!” so he held her, tight as the kitchen’s door opened and Fez entered with a frown.

“What is going on?” the foreign man asked in a soft voice, his thick accent almost impeding Eric to understand his question.

“Okay, everyone…” Kitty started after hanging the phone, Eric looked up while Donna cried silently on his neck. “Please, don’t be upset…” the woman bit her bottom lip before finally talking, “Jackie was in an accident. They say she may not make it.”

******

_December 2, Point Place’s General Hospital – Emergency surgeon. 10:53 pm._

_‘Breathe deep, breathe deep…’_ , Jackie thought to herself, to the girl who was laying on an examination table, while being operated.

The medical intervention had been on for an hour or so she felt, and while she didn’t know much about this, something was telling her they weren’t even near done with her. For what little she understood, the hole on her back had made her lose too much blood, and even that was the last of her problems.

She wasn’t waking up any time soon, let alone breathing on her own. If Kitty Forman had been there, maybe she would have been able to understand what was going on with her body and maybe have a clue on what to do next, how to come back to herself, wake up, something.

Was she going to die anyway? Or was she going to stay this way forever, haunting Point Place’s General Hospital? This was something Michael would have loved to hear, that she was going to haunt a place. With a little smile, she remembered that time he made them all promise to not scare him if any of them died before him. Like hell she wasn’t going to take the chance to scare the living shit out of him.

Moving her head and going around the table, she realized she was calmer than when they arrived to the hospital. Oddly enough, she didn’t care much about her own body the moment she saw Kat and her daughter being moved to different areas.

Kat seemed to not have as much trouble as she and Harley, while the little girl was being operated near her own room. The knock the little girl had gotten on her head was enough to worry the doctor at her side and she panicked for a moment before hearing her body was going to be operated on, so she followed her body while still worried about his friend’s daughter.

“You are gonna make it, beautiful. We’re almost done…”

The way voices sounded in her mind when someone spoke near her body’s ears was something to be scared of: like the speakers of a cinema, the voice traveled inside her head and she heard it, no matter where she was at the moment.

Jackie looked back at her body, and the same nurse from before was talking to her, telling soothing words that made her smile. At least, someone seemed to wish her well. For a moment, she wondered if people would show up to reclaim her body if she died. What about her mother? Was she even in the country? And her dad? Would someone tell him about her in jail? Would he cry?

Jackie shook her head, her parents was the last of her real preoccupations, she was thinking the most of Mrs. Forman, and Mr. Forman’s heart condition; in the last few years she had got closer to them, and if the news about her accident did something to any of them, that was something she wouldn’t be forgiving herself for soon.

Milo.

Jackie swallowed, then cleared her throat and the doctors announced their good work. But for some reason, she wasn’t breathing by her own yet.

“Now is your turn, baby.” the nurse said. “We did our job, now is all in you. Be strong, honey, you have so much ahead. Be strong.”

Looking at the scene, she felt like crying. Maybe she was doing it, but her face didn’t register the touch of tears and her eyes didn’t feel a thing, no matter for how long she hold her eyes open. The lack of sensation was weird. She could tell when someone was touching her body before she got sedated, after the injection, her body reminded still and her sensations had been gone too. For what she was getting, she was pretty much connected to her body still, and the only things she could feel was what her body touched. Maybe there was hope.

“Okay… is family outside for this one?” another nurse asked her new favorite one.

“I hope so. I’m sure Sally called the emergency numbers on her file. Hopefully, people must be there by now.” the other nurse nodded and left, Jackie followed her to see if someone had showed up.

In the sea of people, Jackie didn’t seem to find someone she knew; she followed the woman around until the nurse grabbed a file and checked. Her name was on it, and so were the names of Mr. and Mrs. Forman, their phone number and the woman looked up.

“Family of Miss Jacqueline Burkhart?”

“Yes! Us, us!” a female voice raised with a big hand, followed by a flash of red hair running to the nurse. Jackie smiled. Donna. “Us! Is she alright? What happened? Did the operation go well? Is she safe now?”

“Miss, miss…” the nurse said with a soothing voice and a soft smile, “Please, calm down and I’ll answer all your questions the best I can. I assume you are family to the patient?”

“Sort of…” she answered, to her side came Eric and the man put an arm around her waist. Behind him, stood Mr. and Mrs. Forman, whose eyes were puffy and red, and Jackie’s heart ached thinking of the woman crying because of her. “We are close friends, her family… is complicated. Her mother is out the country,” Jackie rolled her eyes, of course Pam was out the country, “and her dad, well…”

“Understood.” the woman smiled, Mrs. Forman gave a step forward, ready to listen to Jackie’s condition. “I’m happy to say the operation went well, we were able to stop the hemorrhage and treat the wounds to prevent for infections. But…” of course there was a ‘but’, Donna swallowed hard and her fingers squeezed her arms as she hugged herself. “She is not waking up, and she can’t breathe by herself.”

“Uh, honey?” Mrs. Forman called the nurse, Eric moved Donna aside so his mother would talk to the woman. “I’m a nurse here, can you please explain me exactly what is going on?”

“Mrs. Forman!” she said with a tiny smile, then nodded. “Of course… The wound on her back affected her lugs, the hemorrhage has been stopped and her lugs drained. We are hoping she will be able to breathe by herself in the next 24 hours, once she can do this, we are certain she will wake up in a couple of days. The sooner she gets to breathe without the equipment’s help, the better.”

“Any… other damage?”

“Until she wakes up, we don’t know much. But she has her left leg broken, another three broken ribs and other scratches. All have been treated by now. We are counting on no brain damage from the coma, or other situations.”

“I understand. Are we able to see her?”

The nurse shook her head. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Forman. Not right now, she is still staying in the emergency pavilion for further observation. But tomorrow, I believe, you will be able to visit her.”

“Uh… thank you, honey. If something else comes out, please let us know.”

“Of course.” she said, leaving the family and Jackie’s friends alone, doing some kind of circle, all with their heads down.

Jackie wondered about her other friends, did they knew by now? Have any of these people called Michael and Brooke? Fez? Milo? _Milo_. She had the impression the poor guy won’t know about her until everyone else knew, after all, only Mrs. Forman and Donna liked him. Every single male and Brooke had decided to almost hate him since she’d accepted to go out with him in that first, disastrous date.

She managed to put herself in the middle of her people, looking at their faces and trying to call their attention; maybe if she managed to be noticed by someone, she will wake up on her body. Or maybe she would finally freak out as she should by now, but it has been too long since she felt this light and unconcerned.

Worried about her new discovery, Jackie crossed her arms over her chest, asking herself what was wrong with her now. Breaking the silence, Eric cleared his throat and everyone looked up at him.

“We need to call everyone else. I know is late, but I don’t think Harrington will be happy if we wait ‘till morning to tell him his fiancé is in the hospital and in coma.”

Mr. Forman nodded, putting a supportive hand on Mrs. Forman’s lower back. He looked at the clock on his wrist and sighed. “Is one in the freaking morning… But we should call Bob too, the man must be worried none of us are home.”

“I’m going to get Fran, ask for Jackie’s file.” Mrs. Forman announced after a short pause, followed by her husband calling her name and her son calling her too. She was nervous, Jackie could tell. “No, don’t tell me to stay ‘calm’. Calm is something that doesn’t go with my name right now, we are not seeing Jackie until another freaking 24 hours, I need to know they are telling us everything there is…” Jackie hugged herself after hearing that; a part of her felt terrible, while the other couldn’t help but feel relieved someone cared about her as much as Mrs. Forman did. “Now, Red… Wait here with the kids, it will be only a second.”

“Mom, you don’t have to…” her son said, putting both hands on her shoulders and rubbing them for comfort. “The nurses know you, they won’t lie to you.” Eric tried to maintain her in place. Noticing it was in vain, he sighed. “At least, let dad go with you? Please?”

“Red?” she looked back, the man just nodded. He was incredible silent, Jackie noticed. “Okay, then you two please locate Fez, I’m worried about him.” Eric nodded, Donna stayed with her head down, biting her nails. So Fez was there, too. “And do the calls. Call poor Milo and Michael, too; he and Brooke should know no matter the hour. Make sure to call Bob, too…” she and Mr. Forman started to walk, yet Mrs. Forman turned her entire body to her son again, “Eric?” the green eyed man looked at his mother, like praying she won’t said the next thing. “Please, call Steven.”

He only nodded once after a long pause.

******

_July 12, 1980. Donna’s bedroom. 2:33 pm._

Jackie’s pink nails looked like a goddamn nightmare after doing the dishes herself. Living with Fez has taught her she wasn’t getting anything with her looks ever again and that delusional part of her persona started to fade away slowly, but that didn’t mean a bad manicure was going to be her new thing.

She wrinkle her nose, stealing Donna’s acetone to erase the damage and do her nails again. Jackie could use an entire day at a spa, at least have her nails do by professionals, but instead, she was saving every dollar she could put her hands on for her last chance to real happiness: going to LA with Fez, at least for vacation.

“God, this looks awful…”

“Want me to do them?” offered Donna, the now again redhead was blowing cold air to her just done nails. “Or… just wait a second, these things are getting forever to dry.”

“Is okay, I can do them myself…” she murmured, at least she had her friend back. It was like if her blond hair had took Donna away, leaving the honest to god kind of bitch she had to spent the worst months of her life with, back in 1979 and the first month of this current year. “But it doesn’t meant I won’t kill a man for a manicure right now.”

“And what about a girl? Would you kill a girl for a manicure?”

Jackie moved her head to one side. “It depends,” she said, waiting for the acetone to dry so she could start her new painting, “is she blond and busty and has no sense of sisterhood when it comes to other girl’s struggles?”

Donna laughed before nodding, “Sure thing.”

“Then, yes.” Jackie declared with a small smile, finally able to paint her nails.

“And since when you are worried about girls supporting other girls?”

“Donna, duh!” she said, “All girls should understand the meaning of ‘that idiot there is my man, don’t fucking touch him, you bitch’ and not do the guy.”

“Of course.” Donna sighed. “For a moment, I hoped that you had picked something of my feminism rants.”

“Oh, but I have!” she announced with a devilish smile. “Like, we should support the bitching on boys more often,” Donna laughed again, so Jackie continued, “put them to work for our love, get better jobs and as much money as males, and how about that interesting thing your friend Charlotte said the other day?” she pretended to think about the feminism rally Donna had tricked her into just a few weeks ago, “Oh! Let’s punch them in the nuts every time they pretend to understand what a cramp feels like!”

Both girls laughed with the memory, these last weeks had been like this: laughs and silly banters, both of them knowing their goodbye was almost in the next corner of their joined paths. Donna was finally going to Madison alongside Eric, while she was trying to convince herself that LA was for her.

Fez had gotten an incredible job offer at one of the most prestigious salons in the City of Angels, his great job with a professional stylist who was hunting talent in their side of the states had given him this chance, and the boy would be an idiot to let it go.

That left her alone in Point Place, with only The Formans and Bob Pinciotti as people to see and talk, since Steven wasn’t exactly an option. Their strange relationship will never be called a friendship, they barely looked at the other, let alone talk. His refusal to acknowledge her existence has tired her back in February, and she realized there will never be some kind of normal between them ever again.

Now, these precious moments with her only girl-friend after work, were everything Jackie were looking forward every day. She was alone.

“I’m going to miss you, midget.”

“Of course you will, Donna!” she answered, not wanting her friend to notice her internal struggle. “Who is going to tell you, that ugly concert shirt you are wearing is too decolored, please don’t ever use it again?”

“Oh, shut up! This one…” she signaled her Van Halen shirt, “is an actual shirt from an actual concert, and not just some shirt I bought at the mall. I went to this one!” she announced, Jackie shook her head in disagreement.

“That explain the terrible material of it…”

Donna frowned, “Yeah, that’s true… Oh god,” she looked down at her shirt. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve seen you worse.”

“You little shit, like if your cheap shoes weren’t imitations!”

Jackie cried in discomfort, looking offended; but soon her open mouth changed into a knowing grin when she saw Donna’s hands on her lips, impressed by her own stamen. “Oh, you are a bitch!” she told her best friend, then smiled widely, Donna’s face going as red as her hair, “I have taught you so well!” and she moved quickly to hug her friend who was still shocked by her own fashion burn.

The moment would have lasted more, if it wasn’t for Eric’s terrified yells of his girlfriend’s name, hurrying up the stair of the Pinciotti’s house.

******

_December 3, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Cafeteria Area. 01:25 am._

“Why are you this sad, Donna?” Jackie murmured, looking at her defeated friend who was sitting by herself in the cafeteria while Fez and Eric bought her some coffee. “Is it because of your wedding? I’m sorry I will have a cast on my leg for your wedding pictures…”

By now, Jackie had tried everything. From trespassing a wall to use telekinesis or what not, but none of those ghostly powers the movies showed were in her. She couldn’t communicate with anyone and the sounds on her room back in the emergency pavilion confused her with the noises she was hearing by standing here with her friends.

Fez had cried the moment Eric told him she was alive, saying he was just glad his goddess hadn’t gone pale, like if he hadn’t heard the rest of the information. Her friend took this as a win, anyway; and Jackie understood once again his way to deal with hard times: he just looked at the best aspects, trying to reach hope by ignoring the rest of the information. Without his friend knowing, Jackie had caressed his hair and give him a peck on the cheek. Fez had always been a good friend to her, even when they wanted to kill each other while living together at first.

“I don’t want to make those calls…” Donna commented in the saddest tone Jackie has ever heard on her. “Eric? I don’t want to…”

Eric nodded at her, even when she wasn’t looking at him. He left her coffee in front of her and Donna put her hands over to feel the heat of it. “Don’t worry, I’ll do them. You want to come with me or you prefer to wait here?”

“I’ll wait.”

“Fez?” the man looked at his friend and so did Jackie, “Can you please stay with Donna?”

“Of course, Eric.” he said, patting Eric’s shoulder with a sad smile.

When he stood, Jackie gave Donna a last look before walking behind him to the coin phones.

Part of the reason they all had got coffee was to get coins for these calls, he looked at the money in his sweaty hand and sighed.

“At good hour you decided to be dramatic, Jackie…” he murmured.

“Hey!” she reacted, trying to elbow him but discovering, once again, that nothing happened. “You really think I asked God to get me into this bull!?”

Eric didn’t had any kind of reaction, instead he gave the phone the needed money and dialed first to Bob. As Mr. Forman had guessed, he was beyond worried for Donna and started to cry the moment he heard the reason of their disappearance, promising he would be there in a heartbeat. That one was short.

He took out a little piece of paper Fez has given him, being the only one who knew by memory Jackie and Milo’s number back in New York; she knew what was coming, but it didn’t make feel less bad when Milo’s answer machine greeted Eric, who then put his forehead against the phone and struggled to leave his message. Jackie put a hand on his shoulder as if she could give him some support.

“Hey, Harrington, it’s Eric Forman. Listen, I don’t have much time and I’m sorry we didn’t call you earlier.” he paused, swallowed hard, and started again. “Jackie is in coma.” and the mentioned girl rolled her eyes, could this moron be less sensitive? “She is at Point Place’s General Hospital. She was in an accident while coming home, her bus was messed by the snow and… Look, they said she will be fine.” he said, “I hope we’ll see you here soon. Goodnight.”

Hanging up, Eric looked at the device with a strange expression.

Eric’s dislike of Milo was something Jackie had never understood. Her ex-fiancé was nothing but always kind and nice to all her friends. Yet, all of them but Donna, disliked him deeply. Sighing, Eric dialed the next number. The Kelsos.

“Yeah?” Brooke’s sleepy voice was heard from the other side of the line, Eric smiled a little.

“Brooke, its Eric.”

“Eric! Oh my god, is everything okay?” she said, suddenly alarmed. “You don’t sound too good. Did something happened? Is almost two in the morning!” then, before he could say something else, she was calling her husband. “Michael! Michael, wake up! Is Eric on the phone, something happened!” Eric nodded, eyebrows up just like Jackie’s. Brooke was back with him quickly. “What happened, Eric?”

“Jackie…” he started, somehow feeling more difficult to talk about this with them. “She was in an accident, she’s at the General Hospital here in Point Place.”

“Oh, no!” she exclaimed, her voice worried. “Is she alright?”

“No… I mean, yes. But we actually don’t know if we can sing victory yet…” he was honest, swallowing before continuing, “She is in coma.”

“Oh, my god…”

They talked for a few seconds, then Michael took the phone and Jackie put a hand on her chest the moment he heard his aggravated voice. “What the hell, Eric? Is Jackie going to die!?”

“No, no, Kelso.” he said fast enough, Michael’s heavy breathing was loud on the phone. “Listen to me, she’s not going to die. But right now, she is in coma and in constant observation. She will be fine, Kelso. Don’t panic.”

“I’m on my way!”

“Kelso?” Eric said, concerning filling his voice. “It’s late, wait for the morning. You can’t drive in this state right now!”

“But is Jackie!” he answered, they could heard Brooke saying she will wake up their two kids. Jackie frowned like Eric, Michael and Brooke couldn’t be thinking on driving at this hour, with this weather, from Chicago to Point Place, with Betsy and Jess. “We have to be there, Eric! I’ll see you in a second or two!”

“Kelso!” but it was late, he had hung up, probably knowing Eric was going to argue against his impulsive ideas. “Fuck!” he exclaimed, closing his eyes and putting his forehead on the hang up phone again. Like before, Jackie put her hand on his shoulder a second time.

Her fingers were shivering.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” he murmured as he looked at the two coins he was about to put on the phone. Eric looked down, licking his bottom lip and thinking of his next call.

Hyde.

“Jesus…” he murmured, looking at his side where Jackie was standing. “What are we gonna do with him, Jackie?”

Jackie opened her eyes wide, both hands on Eric’s arm. “Eric, can you see me? Hear me? Feel me? Something? Eric!” but there was no answer.

Instead, Eric swallowed hard again and took the phone. The second she saw him dialing Hyde’s number, she felt like falling and Eric stopped his assigned job, looking at the place where Jackie was standing without him knowing, then finished and waited.

A feral pain was pondering in Jackie’s throat, and her breathing became heavy. She couldn’t be standing anymore, and looking up she noticed Eric looking back to where Donna and Fez had stayed, she made herself look at them, almost on the ground.

Her best friends were talking to a hurried up nurse, the redhead nodded and looked at Fez, saying something before she went running behind the other woman. Fez then looked at Eric and started to run to him. Jackie looked up to Eric once more, the man was looking down at where she was panting and, for a second, Jackie could feel his green eyes looking into hers.

Then, it all went bright.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Too many things happened in 1980 that changed everything to this day. Back in the present, The Kelsos arrived just in time for Eric to finally call Hyde and give him the news.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	3. Don't leave me hanging on the telphone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kelsos arrived just in time for Eric to finally call Hyde and give him the news. Back in 1980, too many things happened that changed everything to the present time, and Eric had enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update, but this week has been kind of hard for me and my beta, and you know... life happened. Still, i'm very happy to say I'm almost done with the fanfic, which means I will be able to post two chapters a week If I can. The fic seems to be 21 chapters. Or maybe 22, we'll see how the muse works on this.
> 
> On the other hand, thank you so much for the incredible support this story has! Especially thank you to my good friends and best critics, NannyGirl (who also is my beta, go love her on her profile NOW!) and MistyMountainHope. You girls are awesome and I'm very happy I have the chance to meet you both and have fun with you! I really care about you two!
> 
> Now, enjoy this chapter! Our favorite burnout is finally TALKING during present time here! Thank you all for reading!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/150836980990/heart-like-yours-chapter-iii-dont-leave-me) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart like yours**

**III – Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone**

 “The doctor said she—could have died!” Bob’s voice.

“I can’t do this, I can’t stand here without knowing what is going on there…”, Fez.

“Did you call Steven?”, Mrs. Forman.

Then, Eric. “I couldn’t.”

“Eric, Eric… Steven. You have to call Steven!”

There were people near her body, her people.

_December 3, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie Burkhart’s room. 5:02 am._

This room was different, Jackie looked around as she stood from her bed, somehow at one side of her still comatose body. The three Formans, Fez, Bob and Donna were almost angry talking between them as far from her body as they could, in the corner of the room, all lights out, probably to give her a good sleep, trying hard to maintain their voices as low as possible.

What had happened? Looking at her body, nothing seemed different. She was as pale as before, bad hair, very still. Which meant her time as a ghost was still a go, and  finally, she screamed as loud as she could, knowing no one will hear her, hoping someone would.

Everyone kept talking as she cried, the knots on her stomach exploding in emotions she couldn’t place at the moment, and the lack of physical feeling just made it all worse.

She didn’t know it, but her break down went for almost an hour, never noticing her friends had left the room and the day had been passing her as usual.

When she looked again at her body, she couldn’t help but hate the girl laying there and her fist impacted without damage on her cheek, trying to hurt her face, knowing the kind of effect it would have on her persona. But nothing was happening. Not even a scratch, not a hair moved, nothing.

“Wake up! Wake up, you idiot! This is not alright! None of this is okay!”, she continued beating herself down until her arms wouldn’t move anymore and her face was buried on her body’s chest, crying until there was nothing else to take off.

A nurse entered, guiding another patient on a wheelchair to stand right at Jackie’s body’s side as her ghost, soul, whatever the fuck she was at the moment, finally stopped crying and looked to the direction of the sound she had heard.

With a bruised left side and a cast on her right arm, Kat Peterson was looking at Jackie’s sleeping form in front of her and the ex-cheerleader stood, eyes wide open. What was the girl doing there? The nurse then asked if she should stay or not, Kat smiled saying she wanted some privacy and the woman left, promising to be back in a couple of minutes. Once the woman was out, Kat sighed deeply.

“Hey, Jackie…” she said, her eyes were crystal, and the idea of her crying because of Jackie made the younger girl frown. “I… Asked about you and when they told me about your respiratory failure, I thought for a second—“ she sighed again after a short pause, then pated her own chest like trying to calm herself. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. You are still here,” she smiled, “just like Harley… she is being so strong…” her eyes lowered, her not injured hand took Jackie’s and the girl standing without the other knowing jumped in her place.

She felt it.

Jackie was feeling Kat taking her hand. “The doctor said the first 24 hours are the most difficult, that you two have been surviving these pretty good.” then, Kat moved her head to one side. “But neither of you have woken up…”

Harley was in coma too. Something inside Jackie dropped, maybe her stomach. Or her heart? Kat nodded to herself, like if she had thought of what to say next.

“My aunts are here, they saw the Formans and Donna. I saw Michael and his wife before going in here.” she announced. “She is so big! I feel so proud of having a child all by myself, and she is already going for the third one! Brooke’s my hero.”

She was, isn’t it? Jackie sighed and sat down on the bed, facing the window while Kat continued telling about her aunt’s visit and the Kelsos outside.

For how long has she been sleeping? Her fingers played with each other as the dulcet tone of Kat’s voice filled the room and Jackie sighed.

Michael had been her first boyfriend, she considered him one of her soul mates, just like Donna was too and just like Fez. What she had with him had been different from what she had with the other two men in her life. When he got married, a part of her died a little.

Not because she wasn’t truly happy for him and Brooke, but the little girl she was and that grown up thinking that the idealized idea she had of Michael Kelso was the right one for her, was finally going to rest. It was a happy dead, like Milo had signaled with his sweet smile the night she confessed it on their hotel bed in Chicago after the wedding reception.

A happy dead.

“To be honest, I never thought I would see Michael Kelso settle down with a family and a wife.” Kat voiced Jackie’s feelings from a year ago and the younger girl smiled, nodding. “I hope he is loyal to Brooke, she is great.”

He was. Maybe that was the part that hurt a little, Jackie realized a while ago.

They all had grown up from the kids they were when the basement was their operation base, and that included a loyal, yet goofy and sometimes childish, Michael. It hurt because the damage he did to her was never important to him, she never got a real apology and she knew waiting for one was stupid at this point, so she never said it out load.

Kat sighed, and Jackie looked at her.

“I’ve been thinking of Hyde since the bus…”

“Oh please, no.” Jackie stood, ready to leave the room even when she knew she would be able to hear everything Kat said, no matter the distance.

“He was so handsome. I hadn’t seen him in years, but I remember seeing you with him…” she said, a small smile on her pink lips. “I was happy for you, believe it or not. I know… the kind of girl I was. I wasn’t exactly friendly or truly likeable. I was just hot.” she nodded, then leaned to the back of her wheelchair and Jackie looked back at her. “But I was…” for a second, the girl was lost on her thoughts, like if remembering something. She laughed, continuing to smile while talking again. “He was so nice to me, no other guy had been that nice to me. And I had a few good experiences with him. I always thought that if things would have been different, maybe I would have liked something more with him. Then, I saw you two together.”

“Stop…”

Eric opened the door suddenly, and Jackie found herself right in front of him, but once again the man didn’t flinch. He stood there, blinking a couple of times at the image in front, and Jackie looked back at the bed, her body lying there and Kat Peterson holding her hand, talking to her in a sweet tone.

“You were so radiant!” she hadn’t realized she had company, “So pretty! I was so jealous, we all were. None of us couldn’t understand what was that was between you two, but we were so jealous.” she stopped then, blinking before smiling sadly. “Jackie… you are not happy. You lied to me. I’ve seen you happy, and this…”

Jackie’s chest went up and down, Eric tried to escape the scene without making a sound, but it was late, Kat had realized his presence.

“Oh… do I know you? We were in the same school, right?” she said, putting all her attention to him, drying some of the tears that had slipped from her blue eyes. “I’m Kat Peterson. You came to see Jackie?”

“Yeah, we…” he signaled outside with his thumb, finally closing the door behind him with a soft movement. “We are family. I think. Yeah.” he nodded, the frown on his face almost made Jackie laugh. What was he talking about anyway? “I’m Forman.”

“Of course!” she said happily, “Donna’s groom!”

Eric smiled at least, nodding and walking towards the redhead. Jackie observed as they talked, she explained her encounter with Jackie in the bus, about her daughter and that she had received minimal damage in the accident, even when she had been standing when the bus crashed.

Jackie’s memory stormed to that moment, when she saw Kat fall as everyone around her screamed. She had grabbed to her seat with both hands, eyes never leaving Harley who was crying as her mother yelled her name, trapped in the front when the driver passed out. After the little girl looked at Jackie, as if trying to ask for help, everything had vanished until she woke up, starless sky facing her, and her soul outside her body.

Eric smiled a little to Kat, wishing her good luck and fast healing to her daughter. The mention of the little one seemed to not impress the man, not even when it was obvious it was Kat alone with her baby girl and Jackie realized, suddenly, the kind of fame her pseudo friend actually had back in the days.

Goddammit, was this what people thought of her too? That if she had a baby at her age and were alone, it would be normal? She hated them. All of them. They could go to hell.

“Honey, I have great ne—“ a woman entered the room with a big smile, soon stopping when he saw Eric standing beside Kat. “Oh, I’m sorry! It wasn’t my intention to interrupt.”

“It’s okay…?” Eric managed to say, while Kat nodded.

“Patty.” she answered, then walked towards Kat. “Kat’s aunt. Honey, we are allowed to see Harley at last!”

“Oh!” the girl clapped her hands, then looked at Jackie’s body. “Heard that? I can see my baby girl! I’ll come back later, Jackie.” then, she looked at Eric. “It was nice to see you, Eric. Take good care of Donna! And congratulations to the two of you.”

“Uh…” Eric scratched the back of his neck, slowly nodding. “Yeah, I’ll tell her. Thank you, Kat. I hope your girl gets better soon.”

Then, to keep with the strange day, Eric stood in front of Jackie’s body with a somnolent expression, sighing and sitting his ass in the chair next to her bed, looking at her face as if waiting for her to wake up.

Jackie sat down in front of him in the other side of the bed. She didn’t have anything else to do, she couldn’t get out of the stupid room unless someone else opened the door and left space enough for her to follow, and it seemed that wasn’t happening anytime soon.

When Eric closed his eyes and left his entire weight fall onto the chair, Jackie realized the man had entered her room to take a nap and her cheeks went red, her brain yelling in anger at the sight of this asshole, skinny geek, taking advantage of her situation to sleep.

“I haven’t called Hyde, Jackie.”

Before she could reach him to try and hit him, Eric started talking, eyes still closed. “It’s almost seven in the morning, he must be sleeping. I know he will kill me when I finally call, but—“

Suddenly, the man straightened his back and looked at her body’s face.

“He told me you two have a night in New York, two weeks ago. You didn’t tell Donna and I’ve been… trying to keep it a secret, with all that’s been happening, I forgot about it.” a pause, Jackie sat herself in front of him, this time on his side of the bed, just a few centimeters from her material hand. “I don’t know what you did to him, but he was…” he sighed, “Like when you two got together after the nurse.” Eric finished, closing his eyes again after a long, deep sigh, as if thinking what to say next. “This will kill _him_ , Jackie.”

The silence that followed only made her anxiety increase. So many things she wanted to say and to ask.

Why had Steven—Hyde. Hyde. Why had Hyde told Eric about that? Not that it was a problem, not really, but after what happened, she thought he would be too hurt to talk about it. Instead, he was happy about it, that’s what Eric wanted to say? Or, this made her back relax, maybe he referred to the calm around him after that incident.

It had been years, but the memory of it still left a strange feeling in her throat. They never had the chance to truly talk about it. She was too hurt and he was too scared to ever bring it to the table. Before Milo, Jackie used to think if they had talked it out, and she wouldn’t put Hyde against Michael like a child, things could’ve been different between them from that moment on.

Meeting Milo made her realize that it didn’t matter how many fantasies about it she had, there was no way to know if she was right or wrong, there was no way back, she could only accept how things had been and then, let it go.

“Milo is on his way,” Eric laughed, “he called the goddamn hospital and asked for my mother. Of course you will chose a dramatic guy to spend the rest of your life with.” he nodded. “Good job with that one, man.”

“Eric?” Donna’s voice filled the room, and both looked at the door were she stood with an almost shy expression. “Kelso is here.”

“Uh, he drove on his own?”

Donna shook her head, closing the door behind her. “No, Brooke’s uncle drove them in his car. He’s too hyperactive and she was upset. They left very early this morning.”

“Of course he is. Okay, just… are we going? You and mom need to eat something, Donna. And I need a shower, I swear I’m falling asleep standing like a goddamn owl.”

The redhead didn’t laugh, she only nodded and walked to the bed with her arms closed. “Yeah, Brooke will take Betsy and Jess to Kelso’s parents, then come back here with him. My dad, Fez and Kelso are staying.”

“So we are going to do the turns thing?” she nodded, Eric noticed the way his girlfriend was looking at Jackie’s body and the brunette moved to put an arm around her friend’s shoulder.

She looked devastated, like if Jackie was already dead.

“I’m here, Donna…” she tried to assure her, but the redhead’s shoulders started to shake.

“Donna,” Eric stood up and hugged her from behind, kissing her cheek and making Jackie move her arm, looking at her friend’s face, “she’s gonna be fine. Maybe she’ll wake up today and this will be over.”

“Yes! I’m not dying, goon! Stop crying, it doesn’t suit you! Too much red in one face!”

“I know, but what if she doesn’t?” she said, then looked at Eric, “What if she wakes up and there is something… wrong? She’s my only real girl-friend, Eric. A complete bitch when she wants, but still my friend.”

Eric nodded, smiling a little. Jackie took a deep breath and holding air on her lungs while she observed the scene in front of her. “I know, I know, honey…” Eric put a tuft of red hair behind her ear, then did the same with the other side of her face before kissing her forehead. “But she will be fine. I know she will.”

Donna hugged him then, letting herself be held and cry some more. Jackie let go of the air she was holding, a smile forming on her lips when the door was opened again with the unmistakable sound of Betsy Kelso singing the alphabet with her father.

The three of them looked at them, the little girl was on her father’s shoulders singing with him as he carried Jess, his one year old baby boy, on a fanny on his chest. The image made her laugh, Brooke closed the door and smiled at Eric and Donna, who were soon reaching her and her round six-month belly.

When she and Donna had heard the woman said she truly did wanted to have the four kids her husband had suggested, they couldn’t believe it. At this point, Jackie was having problems imagining herself with just one of those. She loved Betsy and to babysit her and Jess when she visited the Kelsos in Chicago, but it was a hard work, one she wasn’t sure she could live with at this moment of her life. And if she didn’t end crazy after this particular experience, it wasn’t like if the option was on her hand’s reach anyway.

“This place is awful!” Kelso said, looking around with wide open eyes. “Jackie won’t like this!”, and he looked at Brooke to find approval, she only sighed and nodded.

True. Jackie wrinkled her nose and looked around. The room was not only small, but too monotonous. She wondered if Harley’s room was like this. That little girl deserved to wake up in a colorful room, with lots of toys and happy paintings. Not this blue and white little hell they were standing in.

“We can bring balloons to _god-mommy_ , daddy!” Betsy suggested, making Donna laugh and extend her arms to the girl. Betsy almost jumped to her and Jess laughed when his green eyes followed the way his sister had passed over his head to his Aunt Donna’s arms. “We can bring Mr. Green too!”

“Who’s Mr. Green?” Eric asked as the girls talked about redecorate Jackie’s room, she decided to follow Michael and Eric’s conversation first.

“Oh, is a stuffed grasshopper Hyde gave to Betsy last week when he visited.” He said, then looked around again, this time wrinkling his own nose. “Where is he by the way? Fez is already full of sugar; we need him on Fez duty, Eric!”

“Uh…” Eric scratched the back of his neck before answering, “I haven’t call him yet.”

“You haven’t call Hyde!?” Kelso shouted and everyone in the room looked at him, Jess stared up with wide open eyes before starting to cry. “Oh no, buddy! It wasn’t to you! I’m so sorry…” Michael struggle a little with the fanny, Eric helped him get Jess out and started passing around the room while trying to calm the kid. “Oh boy, you better call that guy already. He’s not going to stay much if Milo gets here first, you know how he is.”

“Michael…” Brooke called and Jackie followed. Yeah, her ex-boyfriend should talk more about that, she had always wanted to know what Hyde’s problem with her ex-fiancé was. “Why don’t you go with Eric and call Hyde? Donna and I are going with Mrs. Forman and Fez, try to convince him to go home, too. He needs to rest.”

“Uh, can we take Jess?”

“Uh…” She offered her arms to the now again calm kid, Jess went with her without much effort. “Seems like he has made his decision.”

“Damn! Hyde is right, Jess is becoming like Eric! A mama’s boy!”

“Hey! I’m right here!” The skinny guy said, Jackie couldn’t help but laugh and follow them as they exited the room.

She couldn’t stay looking at Donna’s sad face, she couldn’t stay as Betsy caressed her hair and talked to her as if nothing was happening, she needed a break from her body.

******

Once again, Eric found himself in front of the coin phone. This time, Kelso did the call, since he seemed to be unaware of the kind of storm they were about to face.

Hyde always bottled up everything, but this was Jackie they were talking about. When it came to her, there were only two possibilities: he turned all serious and put himself in charge of every little thing, or he stormed the place with his heart on his throat, yelling to every single living thing that crossed his way.

Eric took the phone when it started to give them line, Kelso was as close to the speaker as possible to hear what their friend had to say.

******

Without knowing, Jackie stood to Eric’s other side, pouting in anger to Michael for taking the place she wanted to hear what Hyde had to say about her situation.

She couldn’t help it. This was **Hyde**.

 _“Yes?”_ Their friend’s very awake voice answered on the other side of the line, the sound of it send a strange shiver trough Jackie’s body and she wondered if her physical body could feel it, could be reacting to it. Would her body have goosebumps on her skin as she listens here?

Eric sighed, “Hyde? It’s Eric.”

There was a little pause, then Hyde answered. _“Hey, Forman. What is it?”_

“Uh…” Jackie looked up to Eric’s face, he was trying hard to maintain a poker face but his nervousness was too obvious, even if Michael didn’t seem to notice. Yet, the man cleared his throat, clenched his jaw and talked. “I’m sorry I didn’t call before, you are going to kill me...”

_“What?”_

“Look, we are at the General…” Eric started, his knuckles going white as he held the phone with sweaty hands. Kelso managed to indicate Eric to hurry with a hand gesture.

_“Is Red okay?”_

Eric jumped a little after hearing that, frowning. “What, why—I mean. Yes, it’s none of that. Listen… I’m so sorry, okay. I was going to call you since last night, but then she had a respiratory failure,”

_“She?”_

“and I had to search for my mom, then be there with Donna and then Kelso and his family came, and we—“

“What are you doing, moron!?” Jackie yelled at him, her frustration was too much and Eric too nervous to just spilt it already. “Just tell him for god’s sake!”

 _“Forman.”_ the mentioned boy looked around him trying to find his words again. The three of them could feel Hyde’s desperation and angering temper through the phone and that was no good.

“Daddy!” Betsy run into Kelso’s leg and Jackie looked at her, then again at Eric when he gave the family his back to keep the conversation.

_“Talk.”_

“Jackie,” he swallowed hard and Jackie’s chest felt heavy back in that room, “she was in an accident on her way to Point Place.” she nodded, following his voice. “She was taken into emergency, was taken care of, but earlier she had—“

 _“Is she alright?”_ Hyde’s voice sounded alien to both. Too soft, dry in a way, and desperate.

Jackie blinked, she had hear that tone before. Hyde was scared.

Kelso carried Betsy on his arms, looked at Eric as if asking if he needed something. After dismissing him with a gesture, Eric continued his call. “Listen,” he started again and Jackie put a hand on his shoulder, trying to give him strange to keep going like the night before, “I’m not gonna be here in a while. Red and I are taking Donna and mom to the house, so they can take a shower, have a bite and rest a little. We already decided to take turns and—“

_“That’s not what I asked. Forman, fucking spill it already!”_

His voice, his voice was killing her.

“Is that god-daddy?” Betsy said, but soon she and her father walked off to her mother and Mrs. Forman waiting for Eric.

“The point is, if you want to come, Fez and Bob took the first turn. They will be here for two hours and then, it’s mine and Donna’s turn. Kelso said he will come with his kids later, and Fez will stay too. We are waiting for Milo, so that’s why… if you want to come—“

_“FORMAN!”_

“She is in coma, Hyde—“

Eric opened his eyes in surprise, wide as an O, his mouth a dilemma Jackie couldn’t put a name on. She was in her own shock too, one hand over her chest and the memories of that night in New York crashing one over the other. Unbelievable.

Hyde had hung up the phone.

******

_July 12, 1980. Point Place’s General Hospital. 3:25 pm._

The moment she heard the news, Jackie’s entire body felt hot and rigid. Then, in a heartbeat, she had stormed out Donna’s room and house without even listening to Eric’s pleas to slow down, saying something about how Red could not know what was going on, to keep her mouth shut.

In reality, she didn’t care at all if someone knew or not what Mrs. Forman had told Eric on the phone and the reason why they were now here, waiting to be allowed inside Steven’s room as nurse Forman acted all professional as if she wasn’t falling apart with every passing second.

Eric, on the other hand, had decided to remain silent, holding Donna’s hand and looking at the door like a puppy waiting for his owner to return from the street. Her friend, she tried to maintain Jackie distracted, asking for little things; from the hour to how she was feeling and if she already knew Red didn’t need to know what was going on.

“He knows.” Mrs. Forman said when she heard them. “I told him.”

“Mom!” Eric said, trying to maintain his voice as low as possible but not less firm. “Do you remember what happened last time Red knew about Hyde’s not so healthy ways of living?”

“Exactly, Eric, exactly.”

Kitty Forman was exhausted, to say the least. And not just because she had to work during a particularly hot day, no, it was beyond that and Jackie could sympathize with it a lot.

The idea that she and the older woman had that in common didn’t upset her as much as it did when she first realized it back in December of 1979. It was kind of obvious, loving the same man, even in different ways, that both of them were upset for the time being.

Donna took her hand, the same way she had done back in her room, almost an hour ago; Jackie could tell she was worried for her, probably more for her lack of voicing ideas than her actual feelings, but Jackie was glad she had her friend with her. In another time, if things were still the same as before February, she would’ve been crying her eyes out, desperate to find some calm and recognition, probably about to storm into that room without permission.

But Donna maintained her with her feet in the ground, and the comforting hand on hers was enough to assure her she wasn’t alone in this.

“He is going to be fine, Donna.” she said and her friend nodded. It was a stamen more for herself and she appreciated that Donna said nothing but agree. “He is the strongest person I know.”

Not really, but yes at the same time. It was complicated, like every goddamn thing regarding Steven Hyde.

Sighing, Jackie closed her eyes and tried not to think of the pain Steven must had felt with the intestinal bleeding and all that jazz. Alcohol poisoning was what brought him there, but then the medics, and of course Mrs. Forman, had found drugs on his blood test and all the younger friends knew what that meant.

Yet, the drug they found was what actually had her concerned. She felt her eyes watering again as the word floated around her mind.

 _Heroin_.

Heroin, _heroin_ , **_heroin_**.

Steven was using heroin now.

How? Why? There was so much she wanted to know, and as tears ran down her face, she wondered if she or any of them could had known earlier. They all knew something was wrong with him, had been since—That night she fucked up with her neediness in Chicago. It was her fault.

“Jackie, hey…” Donna talked to her but Jackie’s mind was far from the moment. “It’s okay, that moron is like a cat: he has nine lives.”

“It’s my fault, Donna…”

“None of that shit, Jackie.” both girls looked at Donna’s left, to where Eric sat with his arms crossed and closed eyes. He looked calmer than before. “He is an asshole with a self-destructive nature, it has nothing to do with you. He does his own shitty decisions, and if history has taught us something about Hyde…” he opened his eyes, the doctor’s steps echoing the hallway they were sitting at, “is that he is the king of the poor life decisions in Point Place.”

“Good evening, people. I assume you are Mr. Hyde’s family. Hello, Kitty.” the doctor said, Kitty nodded at him. “Okay, so this young gentleman was took quickly after an emergency call saying he had too many drinks. We met him with alcohol poisoning, probably getting worse with the cocktail he did by crossing alcohol with interesting drugs, heroine was the prominent one. Kitty?”

“Yes, doctor?”

“This kid was lucky our team picked him up immediately. He could have died.”

Mrs. Forman’s shoulders tensed, Eric stood by her side and put an arm around her shoulders, listening to the last inform that they could now see Hyde. Jackie stood immediately, passing by everyone and opening the door. But before she could do anything else, she stayed put, hand slowly going down like the rest of her existence. The sight of a sleeping Steven has always been endearing to her until this moment, when he lay there, still looking sick.

“So, you must be Jackie.” she heard the doctor’s voice. Looking up at him, he smiled back at her surprise. “He asked for you before falling asleep.” was his explanation. “Go on, he will be fine now. He is out of any danger.”

A hand landed on her shoulder and when she looked back, still impressed, Eric was nodding at her, then pushing a little so she would walk inside. Both passed the door’s frame and separated in the middle, Eric to Steven’s left and she to his right, sitting in the chair near his bed.

Jackie could hear Mrs. Forman talking to the doctor, Donna going with Eric and the rest of the hospital on normal day, but her hand searched for Steven’s and she couldn’t help but smile when her half painted nails appeared in her sight, he would like to see this and know she had left her beauty routine aside for him.

“Why would he do this…?”

“Whatever his reasons are, he is a dead man.” said Donna, Jackie looked up at her. “Red is not going to forgive him this time, no matter the explanation…” she commented more to Eric than to the rest of the room, Eric only nodded.

“Look, at least this time he has WB and his sister. Red is the last of my concerning right now.”

“We have to do something!” Jackie said, the older ones looked at her as the door was closed with Mrs. Forman and the doctor leaving. “He can’t stay this way, it has been too much!”

“Agreed.” Eric nodded again, sighing while going to sit on the sofa. Donna followed after. “For what my mother and you,” he looked at Donna, “have told me, this is like the latest nasty surprise on a long list of bullshit he has been doing. I haven’t had the chance to truly talk to him… about, you know.”

“Eric, I’m not twelve. Say it as it is: since Chicago.”

The boy scratched the back of his head, then closed his eyes and rubbed his palms over them, sighing with exasperation. “This is all bullshit. He isn’t twelve either and he acts like if nobody will hurt if _something_ happens to him. I’m fucking tired of this game he is making us all play. Not talking to Kelso and pretending it’s because he is living somewhere else? Blaming Jackie for something that didn’t happened and if it had happened wasn’t her fucking fault since they weren’t together anymore, because he himself said goodbye to her? Being an ass to my parents with the excuse of being tired all the time, not telling me shit, treating Fez like garbage because he lives with Jackie, encouraging my girlfriend to become a terrible version of herself while I fucked up too? Not cool, man. Not. Fucking. Cool.”

“Eric?” Donna murmured, one hand on his back as his face grown red. Jackie’s handgrip on Steven’s right hand increased in return. “Calm down, it’s okay…”

“No, it’s not!” he stood. “Fuck this shit. This could have been easily worked out if he wasn’t such a fuckin—“

“Eric.” said Jackie.

Finally, he stopped his rant, looking back at Jackie who was looking at him in panic. Steven was awake, looking right at him with red, puffy eyes.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: All the important people in Jackie's life are now at the hospital but Hyde. When Milo arrives, he takes everything on his hands without giving chance to anyone else to say something. Meanwhile at The Formans', Donna and Kitty share a moment.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	4. I'll sleep when I'm dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the important people in Jackie's life are now at the hospital but Hyde. When Milo arrives, he takes everything on his hands without giving chance to anyone else to say something. Meanwhile at The Formans', Donna and Kitty share a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Thank you so much for all the comments on the last chapter. I'm glad you all seemed to like that phone call, so prepare for a little bit more of that. This chapter is shorter than the last one, but it has one of my favorite scenes of the fic. All my loving for the one who guesses which one is.
> 
> Especial thanks to my beta, NannyGirl, who I adore and is the most amazing person in the world. Thank your for your help, friend!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/151166148125/heart-like-yours-chapter-iv-ill-sleep-when-im) to support me! Thank you! Enjoy your lecture!

**Heart like yours**

**IV –  I’ll sleep when I’m dead**

Maybe the silence between them should scare him, but the way her mismatched eyes followed the movements of her fingers was hypnotizing. He couldn’t help but swallow the amusement his body was throwing to every corner that hadn’t felt alive in almost a year until her fingers touched him again.

“Are you nervous?”

“A little…”

Jackie smiled, her breath smelled like the mint of her toothpaste, the messy bun of her hair shining in the morning light entering the bathroom. She cleaned her hands with water and then dried them on her pajama’s shirt, taking the razor and looking at him in the eyes.

“Trust me, Steven.”

He only nodded.

“Okay…” she smiled, starting to shave his left side.

_September 16, 1980. Jackie and Hyde’s apartment. 8:04 am._

Hyde’s hands had been shivering since last night and inn Jackie opinion, he needed to shave. At first, he was willing to do the job by himself, it’s always been this way. But soon she entered the bathroom, announcing she was shaving him, whether he liked the idea or not.

_‘Can I help you there?’_

_‘Uh, how?’_

_‘I want to do it. You trust me, right? I’m going to shave you!’_

_‘Why?’_

_‘I want to do it, Steven.’_

Now, she had applied shaving cream on him with soft fingers and even more tender eyes on his face, standing between his open legs as he sat down on the bath. Slowly, she did the job with smooth movements, like if she has done this a million times before.

“I used to shave my dad, Steven.” she answered his silent question. “It was just a few times, but I liked doing it. It made me feel close to him, useful to him.”

She sighed, cleaning the razor blade on the pot with water she had filled just a minute ago. “Mom hated it. I guess because she though he could pay for someone to do it if he didn’t want to do it himself, but I always thought it was because she was jealous.”

The warmth of her body made him held his breath, soon he found himself drunk on her smell, and the more her body leaned into his, the more his hands wanted to hold her again.

“After a while I just stopped doing it, I didn’t wanted my mom to hate me. More.”

Jackie started working over his lips, carefully guiding the razor as her eyes followed with concentration. She stopped talking, and her lips moved like when she applied eyeliner, then opening her mouth like when she applied lipstick. He wanted to kiss her really, really bad. When it was done, she went down his chin with the razor and he swallowed again.

“Easy, easy…” she murmured, her smile glowing in front of his face. Too close. “Relax, if I wanted to kill you, I would have done it a long time ago and while you slept.”

“Oh, that’s just… nice. That’s really calming.” he laughed.

She smiled again, concentration radiating on her face. “You have good skin.”

He couldn’t help but snort and laugh louder, the movement scared her a little and the razor flied right into the ground. “Oh, Steven!” and she slapped his shoulder, the red marks it left made her smile. “Don’t move, asshole. Half of your face still has that ugly thing you call facial hair.”

“Hey, I’m the only one around here who has a good beard.”

She looked at him from the sink with a new razor on her hands, shaking her head. “That thing makes you look like one of those weird uncles that live in the middle of nowhere alone, hunting their own dinner and welcoming you with a gun in one hand and a beer in the other.”

“Badass.” he replied with a smirk.

“Horrible!” she said, standing in front of him, ready to finish the job. “Now, don’t move at all, Steven.”

She came back to it, his body finally felt relaxed as she finished her work. With a wet towel, she cleaned his face once the cream was gone with the razor. Jackie touched him gently, careful to take away the excess of cream. Then, the girl took his aftershave lotion and Hyde laughed, her eyes found his and she smiled.

“What?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Uh,” she started to apply the lotion with circular motions, the smell of it even suited her. It remained him of other times. “Steven, you know the answer.”

“Not really?” he murmured, his hands resting on her waist. She was massaging his neck now, slowly getting as close as possible to him.

“Well, roommate, we are both alone.” she finally said. “So,” and she clapped his now clean cheeks with both hands. Hyde jumped with the pain, closing his eyes, “we better help each other!”

******

_December 3, 1982. Hyde’s apartment, Kenosha. 7:18 am._

_“Hyde? It’s Eric.”_

For a second, Hyde stood still without saying a word. It felt like a life time, but his mind realized it was only a few seconds when his sister entered the bathroom, to walk over there was less than 40 seconds. “Hey, Forman. What is it?”

_“Um…”_

Not good, not good. It was too damn early for Forman to call and, why would he call anyway? It was dinner day. They were going to see each other at his parent’s house in hours. After a few, Forman cleared his throat and started again. _“I’m sorry I didn’t call before, you are going to kill me...”_

“What?”

 _“Look, we are at the General…”_ Hyde felt his pulse speed, this couldn’t be any kind of good news. Something cold punched his back and he leaned on the phone’s table with one hand pressed hard on the wood.

“Is Red okay?”

_“What, why—I mean. Yes, is none of that. Listen… I’m so sorry, okay. I was going to call you since last night, but then she had a respiratory failure,”_

“She?”

_“and I had to search for my mom, then be there with Donna and then Kelso and his family came, and we—“_

“Forman.” Red, Mrs. Forman, Donna, Kelso and his family were okay then. His fingers were shaking. There was a shadow floating around him since yesterday morning, a bad feeling that something was going to happen and with that little girl coming to town, he had a good idea of what could it be. But this changed everything. This was— “Talk.”

 _“Jackie,”_ his best friend swallowed hard before continuing and Angie saw the moment his body fell over his hand on the table, eyes wandering around like trying to find something the person on the phone wasn’t giving him, _“she was in an accident on her way to Point Place.”_ Of course, she was coming home like two days ago, Mrs. Forman had told him. _“She was taken into emergency, was took care of, but earlier she had—“_

Hyde closed his eyes, trying to remind calm and not let go of his Zen. “Is she alright?” Hyde’s voice sounded alien to his own ears, his stupid protection had left him the moment he realized that what the fear he was feeling wasn’t her, it was for her. Angie was walking slowly towards him, trying to understand what was going on, probably realizing his body language was showing something really bad.

 _“Listen,”_ he started again and something broke on his chest within Forman’s babbling, why was his friend not telling him whatever it was that was holding him to the phone? His fingers were white grabbing at the device, his palms sweaty, none of this was okay, _“I’m not gonna be here in a while. Red and I are taking Donna and mom to the house, so they can take a shower, have a bite and rest a little. We already decided to took turns and—“_

“That’s not what I asked. Forman, fucking spill it already!”

Angie’s hand landed on his back, her concern was palpable on her voice when she murmured, “bro?”

_“The point is, if you want to come, Fez and Bob took the first turn. They will be here for two hours and then, is mine and Donna’s turn. Kelso said he will come with his kids later, and Fez will stay too. We are waiting for Milo, so that’s why… if you want to come—“_

“FORMAN!”

_“She is in coma, Hyde—“_

And the man throw the phone aside, crashing it to pieces on his living room, scaring the hell out of his sister as a recent memory was drawn on his mind:

Jackie. Short hair and bangs shining dark on the light of Grooves back in New York. Smiling at him, _really_ smiling at him for the first time in almost a year, waving her hand to him at the other side of the store on its opening night.

In the memory, he walked towards her to say hi, no Milo around, none of the crap that followed them after that night when everything went to shit, just two people who used to know each other seeing their faces for the first time in months.

 _‘Hi,_ _Hyde.’_ she had said.

He hated hearing her calling him that, but he smiled anyway. _‘Hey, grasshopper.’_

Slowly, the image became a blur and Angie’s voice replaced Jackie’s laugh when she heard him calling her that. When he looked back, his living room was trashed beyond recognition and his knuckles were red. His sister was grabbing his shoulders, making him look at her in the eyes and he swallowed hard.

“What happened?” No response, his eyes lowered to the ground, “Steven? Don’t do that, don’t close yourself again. What is going on? I can help, I can…”

“She’s in coma.”

Angie’s back straightened after hearing that, a concerned look on her gorgeous face. “Who’s in coma, brother?”

The words stuck on the roof of his mouth, his entire tongue felt numb. She wasn’t—she couldn’t be—“Jackie…” Hyde finally said.

Her sister’s fingers covered her mouth before she hugged him, tight. He didn’t realize he had lose control of his body, he was hugging her, letting her basically carry him and his fear for the time being.

******

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital, 07:46 am._

Jackie had tried to follow her friends outside the hospital building just to find out life wasn’t that nice to her. No, it still had a few secrets to keep burning her on this little limbo she was _enjoying_ since yesterday.

Like an invisible wall, something impeded her to go beyond the hospital’s door while The Formans and Donna walked to the parking lot with small, tired and slow steps, in complete silence.

Their backs seemed to beg her to follow, but she couldn’t. Slowly and defeated once more, she went inside and searched for Michael, Fez and Bob when Eric passed at her side, walking fast to the waiting area she knew everyone else was in. So she ran behind him.

“Kelso? Kelso!” he called, the taller guy looked at him, passing Jess to Brooke once more.

Fez and Michael walked towards Eric.

“What is it?” Fez asked first, both hands on his waist.

“Harrington is here, I just saw him… He’s talking to my parents outside.”

“Uh, and then?” Michael said, lost in the situation. Jackie smiled at him. All these years and he was still the same doofus. “What’s the matter with that?”

Eric looked at him with an incredulous look. “If Hyde comes…”

“He is not coming, Eric. Get over it.” Fez said, his voice had never felt so full of rage and Jackie looked at him with wide open eyes.

“Fez, what the… you know what, I have no time for you. I know you and Hyde aren’t in the best terms, but he is my friend, ok? And I’m tired of your shit, so—“

“Oh, please!” Fez answered, a mocking tone none of them had heard before. Jackie opened her mouth, trying to object between them. “I have news for you, my friend: that guys is an ass! AN ASS!”

Michael and Jackie looked at Eric, he had the weirdest of the expressions now. “What? WHAT?”

“Stop, stop!” Jackie looked at both their faces, in the middle of them, even when she could do nothing. What the hell was going on?

“Eric, shhhh! You have no idea! You have no damn idea the hell my princess went through because of him, _twice_!” Fez declared, Michael looked as lost as her. “Who took him when Red kicked him out? Jackie! Who took care of him when he decided to seduce lady H? Jackie! Even YOU were too busy hating him to object when he, of course, accepted so easy to be Jackie’s ‘roommate’!”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Guys, guys…” Michael tried to stop them, Brooke was already walking towards them with both her kids and Jackie looked to all sides, praying for an answer, something to do.

“So now turns out you didn’t know what happened between them before she started dating Milo?” Fez looked right into Eric’s eyes, and the green eyed man maintained the contact just as firm. “He slept with her and then acted like if it didn’t mean anything! He didn’t care about what she was feeling and avoided talking to her about it!”

“He did that because he knew they couldn’t be together while he was trying to be sober! He tried to do things right this time, he—“

Jackie looked up at Eric, her hand flying to his arm by instinct. “What…?”, Eric looked at his side and Jackie looked in his eyes. He was searching for something.

“OH, REALLY!? So then why he couldn’t tell her tha—“

“SHUT UP!” Michael’s voice echoed around the entire room, all voices off and eyes on him. “What is wrong with you guys? You are talking about Hyde like if he was the one that matters right now!” he said in a lower tone, life in the hospital went as usual while Brooke stood at Michael’s side. He looked at her first, “Take the kids to the car, I’ll drive you to my parent’s and we decide what to do next.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, Michael only smiled at her and nodded like a kid. “Okay, I’ll see you there. Guys…” they nodded on her direction only.

Jackie was now standing at Fez’s side, caressing his back to try and sooth him. He was truly upset. Michael then looked at his friends again.

“Look, I know we all like to scream. But all these things happened years ago and it doesn’t matter anyway! Jackie is with Milo, thanks to Donna and _Eric_! And Hyde has his own stuff going, too!”

“He and Sara didn’t work out…” Eric added.

Michael stopped mind sentence, then rolled his eyes. “Why I’m not surprised?” he asked to no one in particular, Jackie laughed at little while Eric only sighed and Fez shook his head. “ANYWAY! I’m sure he has _stuff_ going on, he always has!” he said, Jackie laughed again and nodded. “But he doesn’t matter _right now_ , ok? Come on, he probably beat the phone to death when you told him about Jackie! We know our friend, right? He’s as dramatic as Jackie!”

Fez and Eric nodded, none of them looked convinced, but Jackie now had a big smile on her face. Ste—Hyde always reacted inexplicably to bad news, usually throwing stuff and beating things. He wouldn’t hang up, he wouldn’t.

“Michael, you are a genius!” she hugged his arm, Michael kept talking to his friends.

“If he comes, he will have to suck it! Milo is Jackie’s boyfriend, it would be weird if he wasn’t here!” he said as a matter of fact, Eric rolled his eyes. “If he doesn’t come, his problem. It’s not like if your mom won’t send you for him, Eric.”

“Yeah…” he sighed.

“That’s right, Mrs. Kitty will probably sent us for that sonuvabitch if he doesn’t show up today…” Fez straightened his back and then looked at Eric with a firm expression, it looked ridiculous. “I’m sorry I yelled at your screwy face, Eric. It was not proper.”

Jackie nodded, just like Eric did. “I’m sorry I yelled, too. Is just… I can’t believe he did that, okay. And… we shouldn’t be fighting over something that isn’t our problem, and that happened a long time ago.”

“Agreed. So… friends?” the foreign man asked, a little smile on the corner of his lips and his hand extended to Eric.

“Even in hell, buddy.” Eric took it, pulling him into a quick hug before Michael hugged them both with his larger arms. “Uh, Kelso?”

“We all need one!”

Jackie laughed, wishing there was someone with a camera to capture this ridiculous but, somehow, cute embrace. They looked like puppies on a basket, trying to occupy the same physical space at the same time until someone distracted them by clearing his throat.

“Uh, guys?”

Milo. Jackie looked behind her, his taller frame made her step back like always and her mismatched eyes memorized his somnolent expression.

All in black, his green eyes covered with his reading glasses and his lips red from the times he had been chewing on them while nervous, his presence only reminded her that this was serious.

Her body was laying on a room without a wake up hour, while her soul was walking bare foot around a hospital she couldn’t leave.

“Milo.” Fez said, one hand out. Milo took it and they shook hands like gentleman. “It’s good to see you.”

“Thank you,” he sighed. “I came as quick as I could, I was just… out town when you called, Forman.”

“You don’t owe me any explanations.” he answered and then swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving visibly. “If you want to see her, you can do it now. We are trying to change her room…”

“It’s too small…” Michael cleared. “And ugly. Jackie won’t like it.”

Milo smiled at that, offering his hand to Michael now. His dislike for Eric was every day even more notorious, Jackie wondered what that between the two of them was. They had liked each other just fine before, to the point that even Eric told her to give Milo a try when he and Donna set them up. But now? Milo shook hands with Fez and Michael, but not Eric.

“Do…?” Eric started, then sighed and looked at Milo’s eyes. “Do you know what happened?”

Milo nodded, “Yes, your mother already told me. Thank you…” he answered, then signaled to the Nurse Station. “I should get going, I really want to see her and…” he sighed now, giving her friends an empty smile, “I will take care of everything now, you don’t have to worry.”

“What do you mean?” Michael frowned.

“The insurance, I’ll check it. And her stuff, we have to go ask for them at the Police Station, give a statement too. Her other belongings that are here on the hospital, all that… legal stuff, I will take care of it.”

“Oh!” Michael nodded, “I still know some buddies at the station, I can help you with that.”

“Really?” Milo smiled at him, “That would be awesome, man.” Michael nodded and then Milo looked at Fez, then Eric. “I… I really want to see her, so… I’ll see you later?” he said to Michael.

“Sure, man. I have to leave the kids at my parent’s anyway. I’ll pick you up in an hour!”

“I’ll go with you, too.” Fez offered, Eric sighed beside him. “What?”

“You have to rest, Fez. You’ve been consuming too much coffee and sugar, you need a break.”

“Sorry, Eric. But it’s Jackie. She is more important than sleep.”

“Okay, then…” Eric sighed again, looking at Milo this time. “Why don’t we slip in teams, see what we can do? Kelso and I can go to the station, so he doesn’t need to come back here. Fez,” he looked at his friend, not even caring if Milo had something to object about, “you stay here with Milo and help him with the bills and the rest of her stuff. Yeah?”

Milo nodded, then returned his attention to the nurse station. “Thanks, Forman.”

“Okay…” Eric clapped his hands, Michael looked too excited for the situation and Jackie followed Milo, barely listening to the rest of the conversation. “Fez, if you see Hyde, tell him that I need to ta…”

******

_December 3, 1982. The Formans house, 09:00 am._

Donna was crying in Eric’s room.

Kitty could hear her all the way from the room to hers and Red’s, who was taking a nap after the rough night they just had.

The girl had been crying since she heard the news about Jackie and none of them seemed to know how to comfort her, calm her down a little, assure her everything will be fine. Not even Eric seemed to find the words to sooth her.

Looking at Red, she stood and left a kiss on his forehead, walking outside. Donna’s cries were a bitter welcome.

Eric had gone with Michael for Jackie’s belongings and to state her situation with the legal department. Milo had already moved everything on his hands so the insurance would take care of the bill, but her son needed to be moving too or he would lose ground in the middle of this mess.

Her son always put himself in service when things weren’t looking good, trying to avoid the moment of confrontation with reality.

His reality was crying alone on his room, the little bag she was supposed to do for her fiancé still on his bed, no clothes in them, only her sitting, arms around her stomach as she cried as low as she could.

“Donna, honey?” Kitty called without an answer. The woman moved until she was sitting at Donna’s side on the old bed, hugging her with one arm around her shoulder. “Sweetie, is okay.”

As a nurse, Kitty knew these situation always included the longest hours of desperation and sorrow, crying was the nurse’s every day and now, she had it at her side, in her home. Donna leaned her head over Kitty’s shoulder.

“You know, you can tell me what’s wrong if you want…” Kitty almost singed, hoping it would make the girl crack a smile, “I mean… if there is something else, besides the obvious.”

“Mrs. Forman,” she started looking at her, “it’s just… I don’t know. This is a nightmare! The wedding is closer and Jackie’s in coma, Hyde hung up the phone—“

“Steven what?”

“He hung up the phone!” Donna said, one hand still over her stomach and the other trying to fix the mess of her hair. “She is in coma and he hangs up the phone! And doesn’t answer when we called again! He should be here, Mrs. Forman! After all these years he still hangs up the phone when he is more needed, when Jackie needs him! Why would he do that!?”

“Honey, honey…”

“Then Milo takes his damn time to come! Jackie is his fiancé and not only does he send her alone to Point Place, noooooo, he also first has to attend his business before he can come and see her!” she stood, Kitty only nodded. “Why is every single man in Jackie’s life such a goddamn dillhole, Mrs. Forman? It’s unfair!”

“That’s why you are so upset, darling?”

Donna stopped pacing around, she had crossed her arms over her chest and looked almost pale against the little sun that entered the room through the old curtains. The redhead sighed, shaking her head.

“No, not really. Is everything, Mrs. Forman. Is… the wedding, you know? It’s like if life didn’t want me to marry Eric!” she finally said, Kitty nodded and smiled a little, knowing what was next. “All that happened years ago, him leaving. Two times! And when it’s finally going to happen… _this_ happens first!”

“Oh, honey... you know, none of this is your fault or Eric’s. Jackie may wake up even today, and we will be happy to celebrate that wedding with you, no matter what… what is it?” her almost daughter in law was shaking her head again.

“I told Eric this morning, I… even if Jackie wakes up before the wedding, I don’t think is okay to keep going.”

“Honey, no!” Kitty said, someone opening the front door downstairs was heard through the house. “Oh no, no, no. You can’t cancel the wedding! Jackie wouldn’t like that!”

“And Jackie may not be there if we do!” she answered, “What if she wakes up and there is… something wrong? I can’t just have this big party while my friend may—I don’t know, have terrible consequences because of this stupid accident…” Eric’s voice echoed his call for his fiancé, Kitty looked outside the room as his steps were heard on the stairs. “Mrs. Forman, I…”

“Hey…” Eric said, entering the room.

“Hey, honey.” Answered Kitty, kissing his cheek. He looked tired. “Why don’t you sleep a little? You haven’t stopped since last night.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so. Since Milo is here, I’m going with him for Jackie’s things later. They didn’t give Kelso and I authorization for them, so he will try.”

Kitty nodded, frowning. “None of us is family…”

“Yeah, and about that…” Eric cleared his throat, then looked at the ground. “Did any of you… call or, whatever… Jackie’s dad?”

“Oh,” Donna exclaimed, “well… my dad finally found Pam, she’s in Romania.”

“What the hell is she doing in Romania?” Eric asked with wide open eyes, his old crush on the woman had vaporized thanks to the African sun, just like many of the thing that once make him take bad decisions. “What the—you know what, forget it. The point with Mr. Burkhart is, I didn’t know, but Fez said Jackie had started seeing him again?”

“Oh…” Kitty exclaimed.

Donna nodded. “Yeah. Milo took her to see him last year, and… yeah, I knew.”

“Do you know if we can call him?”

“Why don’t you let Milo see to that?” Kitty suggested, Donna nodded. “Honey, I know you want to help but you have to rest, too. Eat something, take a shower. Let Milo take care of the rest, he will be Jackie’s husband…” she sighed, trying to sound convincing, “he is her family.”

“Yeah, I know, is just…” he moved his hands to one side, like trying to shake something from his shoulder. “I have this weird feeling, like—something is out of place, like this… something, something right beside me. It makes me nervous.”

“Eric,” Kitty started and her son sighed, looking at her with his lips in a white line, “you have to stop carrying the world on your shoulders, okay? At least just for a few hours…” she kissed his cheek again, caressing the back of his neck with a little smile, “Donna needs you too, honey. You two need to calm down…”

She opened her arms to Donna, the girl walked at her side and let the woman put her arm around her shoulders, “Rest, take a shower, eat, and we will be going to that hospital again. Jackie will wake up, she will be happy to see us there, and we will have to be patient when she realizes she isn’t looking glamorous at the moment and—you know, we need to get her purse at least!”

Donna finally laughed, Eric smiled at sight of it while his mother continued, “and then we will come home, we’ll take care of her if she needs it, you two will get married, and we’ll have the best end of the year!”

“Yeah…” Eric took Donna’s hand, she looked up at him, “it will be fine. You are right, mom. And you know what else is right?” he moved to his fiancé, hugging her and kissing his cheek, Kitty smiled at the image. “A warm, loooong, bath.”

“We have to be at the hospital at 2, Eric.”

“Like I said, warm and loooooooooooooong, bath. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

******

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital, 06:56 pm._

Years and years of knowing someone can give you powers of recognition over stupid and mundane things, like the way someone walks and their shoes do certain sound on your ears.

The area of the hospital they had found themselves living at the moment was dead silent almost all the time, except when earlier when the Kelso kids had come visit and when Kat had appeared to say hi to everyone, telling again her story about how she had found Jackie in the bus before the accident.

Milo had joined them, reserving almost all his talk and stares to Bob, Fez, Donna and The Formans, rarely standing up and doing something else than waiting for his turn to enter Jackie’s room again.

They had started entering that room to spend time with their sleeping friend, and Milo entered almost every time someone else left, stayed there as long as he could before someone would call it for them.

It seemed like everyone had something to say to Jackie right now.

The steps echoing the hallway, Eric knew them.

He has heard them before, from a very young age, to this day. On school and his home, the airport and the police station too, every single restaurant and the cinema in Kenosha.

The owner of such a strong and firm sound looked as imposing as his step sounded, but he couldn’t fool Eric. Not anymore. Even in his walking, he knew he wasn’t fine.

“Well, I thought I wouldn’t be seeing you... Why the fuck did you hang up?”

“I wrecked the phone.”

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Kat talks to an old friend, and so does Eric. In the flashbacks, the night the game changed for Jackie starts: with Milo at the phone, telling her to go out and have fun in November of 1982.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	5. Never Forget Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat talks to an old friend, and so does Eric. In the flashbacks, the night the game changed for Jackie starts: with Milo at the phone, telling her to go out and have fun in November of 1982.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Those who follows me on tumblr may know that this week I had someone getting on my nerves and I felt like not updating this week. But while cooling off the thing, I re-read your reviews and it made me realize that none of you deserve to be punished thanks to one rude person. So I hope this chapter is of everyone's liking, this one is the longest chapter so far! 
> 
> Thank you all for your comments, faves and kudos on AO3! And special thanks to my friend and beta, NannyGirl, who did an amazing work for this chapter, too! Thank you, girl. You are the best!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/151492018880/heart-like-yours-chapter-5-never-forget-him) to support me! Thank you! Enjoy your lecture!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter V – Never forget him**

_November 14, 1982. Jackie and Milo’s apartment, New York City. 7:04 pm._

Friday night had rolled up with a sore note for Jackie. Her school week had killed her mood for going out even when coming home to an empty space wasn’t her idea of ideal either, but the last thing she needed at the moment was to go out with her group of friends when she could use some _Milo time_ , so missing him while watching corny movies would do for today.

Her fiancé had gone to LA, having to work just a little bit extra to sell the properties he had inherited before they’d met each other. Getting rid of them was his way to show Jackie he was 100% present in their future together. This way he would only work at Rolling Stone and have the extra time for her and her children once they became parents.

The security on his voice while he said these plans was contagious, it always made Jackie feel excited for their wedding next year and everything that would come with it, even when she hadn’t moved a finger to truly plan the anything.

The only thing on her mind was her dress, one she had already seen and was sure she was getting, and her bridesmaid’s style because it cost her a year and a half to find a way to make Vic, Donna and Brooke, look great in one style without one stealing the attention from the other and from herself, and at the same time look coordinated between each other. Other than that, she hoped Milo had some ideas. He better had.

Jackie told herself she did this because she wanted to first be over with Donna’s wedding before giving her entire time to hers.

Right now, her priority was with her friend, this was like practice and she wanted to have all the help possible, so counting on Donna at the moment was impossible. But once done with it, her friend will be available and she could take her to the city soon and plan everything out.

“You should go out, princess.” Milo insisted on the other side of the phone, Jackie half listened and half didn’t, _Casablanca_ was on and her mismatched eyes were re-discovering the scenes as if she was in the movie. “I know you are watching your movie, but you should call Alice and tell her you are going to dinner with them. I don’t want you alone in there.”

“Oh come on, It’s not like if I’m depressed or something.” she said, listening to Milo’s sigh in the other side of the line. “I just miss you…”

“Exactly, that’s why I would like you to go out and do something else than staying home.”

“You won’t convince me.”

Milo laughed, the sound of it made her smile and her eyes followed that sound without finding anything. She truly missed him—“Okay, then. Just remember Alice left her boyfriend, and she didn’t know poor Bruce was planning on proposing. So… I will be out in a few, I have boy’s night with these boring idiots.”

“Oh, my condolences.” Jackie answered, putting the TV on mute and putting attention to the phone. “Bruce was proposing? Really?”

“Yeah…” he sighed again, “he is devastated. So yeah, boy’s night would do.”

“Have fun at bingo, baby…”

Milo’s friends were always older than him, the few his age were the guys he met while in school and they were—well, not better company.

The only bad thing about the people Milo frequented for business until now was that their places to go were calm bars with burgers and fries, fresh beer and laughs. And while Jackie liked to make fun of Milo’s old man situation there, she was also secretly grateful for that. He would never be tempted by sluts in shining clothes and heavy makeup.

Her fiancé, though, was a good man at heart and he would never even look at other woman when she was waiting for him at home. Jackie knew she was a lucky girl, she told herself this every day so her mind would shut up about how they never did fun stuff together, how much she missed to laugh, how sometimes his old man style would crash with her silly humor.

Shaking her head, she listened to Milo giving her reasons to go out. That was also another sweet thing of him. He never wanted her to be alone while he was busy, he knew about her need of being with someone and how sad she could get while alone in the big city, so the man always looked out for her by being supportive of her night activities without him.

“You’ll have fun and you can get extra bitchy because I won’t hear you.”

Jackie smiled, “Does that mean you are going to talk about me tonight?”

“Yeah,” he started, “I’ll tell the guys how great of a cook you are,” she laughed at that, already shutting off the TV, “the excellent wife you’ll be, how you keep me young and, uhm, OH! Our amazing and porn-like sex life. Does that sounds good?”

“Sounds perfect, baby.”

Alright, she was going out tonight. With a quick goodbye and a kiss to the air, she waited for him to hang up and then called her friend Alice. The girl was a painter, wanted to get over with her uni career so her mother would shut up about it and then keep with her art.

She was good at times, others… well, she was still practicing. Her friend got excited to hear her voice, telling her where and when to find them and Jackie started to form an outfit in her mind as she said goodbye and run to the shower.

Her black, short, almost 60’s like dress would do. It had been a birthday gift from Milo’s mother, her own design and it was gorgeous, to say the least. It was cold outside, so a pair of also black stocking would do with her Nine West boots she was still paying for. But goddammit, they were hers. Hers.

Showered and a little bit cold, her hands caressed the soft material of Milo’s clothes as she searched for her side of their four wall closet he had asked to be made especially for her once she said yes to come and live with him in New York.

Back then, they had a few months to move her stuff and for him to accommodate things for her since she was still in school and had only started her transition to keep her studies in the big city. The surprise he gave her with the closet was still a happy feeling on her chest when she remembered.

There, standing proud like a praise at the end of her line, her black dress shone like a sign: Today was going to be a good night.

For a good night to be, she prepared first her hair. Jackie dried the raven locks humming to ‘ _Dreaming’_ by Blondie. The tips of her hair curled towards her chin and the shortness of it reminded her of how different life was now and 1979, like the song on her head, seemed even more far away than just a few seconds ago.

Moving her head to one side, Jackie smiled to her own mismatched eyes on the mirror and admired the way her bra squeezed her full, little breasts and the way the line of on her abdomen seemed to invite to discover what was behind her pretty black panties.

Milo would love this sight, just as much as she was loving it now. But the bangs, she arched an eyebrow, no bangs for tonight. With a hair clip, she trapped it under and put a black ribbon to hide it. Perfect.

“When I met you in the restaurant!”, Jackie singed while entering her closet again, too loud to actually try and sound good. “You could tell I was no debutant!”, then started to hum the rest of the lyrics until her dress was well put on her body, squeezing all the right places, fitting her perfect.

Milo’s mom had holy hands, everything she did, fitted her perfectly. She looked at herself in the full body mirror and singed with her hands on her waist, walking playful towards her reflection: “People stop and stare at me…”, then smiled, “we just walk on by… we just keep on dreaming…”

Her laugh filled the entire room.

Jumping outside the closet, she kept getting ready as she danced and a memory popped on her head: she and Donna, jumping in her friend’s room to some Runaways song the big redhead had convinced her to listen to when a sound on Donna’s window distracted them. With big grins and a pizza box, Eric and Hyde waved their hands at them. Jackie stopped brushing her eyebrows and smiled almost sadly. She missed her friends.

Sighing, she took her lipstick and opened her mouth in an O, pink coloring her lips as her mind finished the song.

“I’ll never forget him…”

******

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital, 08:36 am._

She and Milo had entered her room at least.

The place was dark, and she imagined that it was also cold with that silence and monotonous blue tone. He didn’t say or do anything else but take off his coat and walk around to take a chair, put it in front of the bed at her side, and watch her face for long seconds before kissing her forehead.

Jackie closed her eyes at the sensation.

“I can’t believe this, Jacque…” he said with a sad smile, sitting down on the char. “You are in coma and yet, you still manage to look beautiful.”

“Oh, shut up!” she answered, he kept laughing with himself. “I do not! Look at that thing on my mouth and how swollen my face looks. And that hair! Oh god, I’m going to need a three-days bath after this…”

“You have always been so beautiful.” he said, Jackie looked at him. “You know, I remember when I first saw you. I was thinking,” he moved his hand over his head, “Please, let her be Donna’s friend, please let her be Donna’s friend… and when you resulted to be that friend she wanted to introduce to me,” his fist flied above his head and he closed his eyes, a triumphant smile on his face, “SCOOORE! I couldn’t believe it. Then, you turned out to be fun and great to talk to, you have no idea how much I actually like you bossing me around and telling me how to dress.”

“Liar.” she said, then walked to the little window on her small room. “You always got upset when you couldn’t control my things around you, and when I told you things like: maybe dressing all black to see your comatose ex-girlfriend is kind of ugly.” she looked at him as he continued talking about how marvelous she was. “I’m not dead, you ass!”

Yelling at Milo wasn’t the answer but God, those damn black clothes. And that fight outside, Harley in coma, her own body sleeping in the same room where she stands. It was impossible not to scream.

“Victoria was hysteric when I told her what happened, she and the girls are coming. Bruce, too. And June. They should be here by tomorrow afternoon.” he smiled. “See, love? You are one of the most loved persons I know.”

The mention of her friends make her lower her tension, that little excitement of knowing those girls were going to see her, those girls and June, well. She couldn’t help her. They were all great, especially Vic and June, her best friends in the city.

She just knew June was going to love Fez, Jackie had wanted them to meet since June did her makeup for Milo’s mom birthday party a year ago. Like Fez, June had a natural talent for style in his hands.

While Vic, she was nothing like Donna, even when she was also a redhead. Her hands were blessed for design and the wedding dress Jackie had wanted for her, was one of her friend’s designs. They met thanks to fashion and Milo’s mother. She was a great girl.

He took her hand and Jackie looked at her own, ‘ghostly’ one. The sensation felt good still, she couldn’t help but smile a little as he did so too.

“I miss you, baby. These weeks had been the worst…” he sighed, “and—you didn’t tell anyone about us. Nobody has told me anything, and they call me your fiancé still and I… can’t help but hope.”

Jackie arched an eyebrow. “What the hell is with the men I date? Take a seat, honey. You’ll get tired waiting for that.”

A ‘no’ was a ‘no’, no matter the situation. Yes, she has feelings for him still. Jackie was sure she still loved Milo, but right now? She didn’t have brain nor stomach for any of this crap. These weeks without Milo not only made her realize she had been okay without him for a while, but also that, while she loved New York and her friends there, none of what she really wants is there.

Here, even in this hospital, these noisy and ridiculous people was _home_.

“But, listen… Jacque, I understand your feelings and decisions.” Milo swallowed, for the nervous way he was looking, he was probably searching for his own voice. “You are right, we never have fun together and your needs should be always first place for you. I’m proud of how you can realize this and take actions in your hands. I really am.”

Jackie blinked a couple of times.

“I’m sorry If I ever acted too controlling around you, sometimes I can’t help it.” he swallowed again. “I need to change that, I know…” he nodded, “I appreciate that, even realizing all this, you also thought of me and loved me enough to let me know how you truly felt…”

Milo sighed, tears falling down his cheeks. The sight made Jackie want to run and hug him.

“But right now?” he continued. “I want you to be truth to that mask of auto sufficiency you use. Be as selfish as everyone thinks you are, and only think of you. Live, baby. We love you. I love you.” He kissed her hand, tears formed on Jackie’s eyes.

All her friends had entered this same room and told her something nice. From the ‘get well soon’ to ‘you know, I really care about you’, and Fez reminded her how important she is to his life. Betsy sang for her, too. But Milo, with him it was different.

He had been her lover, the person she trusted enough to tell him things not even Donna or Fez knew. Things that she wouldn’t have said to Michael when they were together, things that Hyde would had understood without words, but Milo knew pretty well.

Milo was still important.

“Even if your happiness is not with me, I love you.”

She couldn’t stand it anymore. Almost jumping to him, Jackie hid her face on Milo’s chest and cried with him.

To live. She wanted that. If only she knew how.

******

_September 20, 1980. University of Madison, 9:27 am._

“Donna, I don’t want to meet anyone else.” she frowned as her friend rolled her eyes. “I know you don’t approve at the moment, but I think me and Steven—“

“Jackie,” her friend looked at her, stopping their walk towards the University’s cafeteria, “you shouldn’t had slept with him. Right now, he is not standing good enough to deserve you, and you are too sensitive with all that has happened.” she sighed. “Plus, I thought of introducing Milo to you way before you two exchanged bacteria again.”

Jackie frowned now. “Don’t say it like that, we made love. It’s _different_.” she said, following her friend when the redhead kept walking. “I know Steven, he forgave me—“

“For what? Loving him enough to want to leave all your dreams behind to stay in Point Place with him?” she said.

“Donna, you don’t get it… I was such a bitch to him, too.”

“I do!” once more, they stopped and Donna looked at her right in front her smaller body. Her friend crossed her arms under her chest and was looking too serious to be this early in the morning. “You are in love with him, and I do believe _he_ loves you too.” Jackie’s eyes went bright as the sun, but Donna continued talking. “But I also _know_ and believe you two are not right for each other… right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jackie, look at him…” she said too low, like if pointing at the obvious actually hurt her. Jackie could relate to that feeling, too. “He’s a mess right now. You two haven’t talked about it, right? As long as he doesn’t do anything for himself, I don’t want you with an addict and an alcoholic.” Jackie lowered her eyes, Donna was right, but she could help Steven and that’s what was imp—“He is not gonna change _for_ _you_ , he has to change for himself. And I’m sure he knows it.”

“So I have to flirt with other people and let it go?”

“No, midget. I think you two need distance. After all that happened, instead of maybe putting some space between you, you stayed near him because I know _you_ thought there was still hope.” Jackie looked up, ready to fight on her defense, but Donna put a hand in front of her face. “And then he went straight to live with you. I understand the circumstances called for extreme measures. But you should let him heal, and heal yourself too.”

“So it’s my fault?” she said, her voice sounded rougher than she wanted it to. “That’s what you are saying?”

“No!” Donna looked exasperated, Jackie wanted to puke too. “You two need time! Right now, whatever is this you have, is _toxic_! And you both deserve better! Give him time and try to truly forgive him for what happened before. Because I know you, and I know you still think about it. It’s okay, it’s still resent and this mess has a lot to do with it...”

Jackie stood there, looking at the ground with her arms crossed. She knew all Donna was saying, she understood it, she has thought of it too. But it still sucked and hurt all the same. If she gave up on Steven now, what told her he would want her once things were better then? What told her she would want him then?

Oh. She stopped right there.

There was a time in which she couldn’t even think of an alternate reality in which she didn’t want Steven, today it was a possibility. She may not want the person he is right now, didn’t she tell him herself that the night they ended in her room? That she didn’t like the couple they were during their last months together?

“Look, you may not even like Milo. I don’t care. All I want for my friend is to understand she needs to give herself a break and try find a way to be happy again. Sadly, right now, Hyde is not part of that.”

Jackie just nodded.

“Maybe in the future, when you two are ready and better, you can be together again…”

“What if…? What if it doesn’t happen, Donna?”

Her friend didn’t say anything at first, she went for a hug and Jackie rounded her with her arms too. Tears were running on her cheeks, she was supposed to meet a cute guy in minutes, and now her makeup was ruined.

“Then, life goes on.”

There was something her friend wasn’t telling her, Jackie could feel it in the way she wanted her to meet this friend of hers so bad, in the way she was hugging her right now.

When they talked and decided to try and emend their friendship, they promised to not keep secrets from the other if it concerned them. If there was something Donna knew about this mess and she didn’t, then her friend should be telling her. So why, why was Jackie feeling like she was being left aside from something else just as important as the rest of the story?

“What is it?” Jackie said once they went apart, Donna was looking at her with such pity, it was awful. “There’s something you are not saying, just tell me.”

“Uh…” Donna seemed to want to make herself smaller, it was a view to laugh of, but she didn’t felt like pointing it out. “Alright, remember we were staying with my dad the weekend you two…?” Donna did a kissy sign with her fingers, Jackie nodded. “Okay, so Hyde—the day you two were supposed to talk, I know why he didn’t go home.”

Jackie’s eyes went bigger than usual. “What? Why?”

“Because Eric and I went for him…”

Oh no. “Went for him, where?”

“Look—“

“Donna. Went for him, WHERE?”

“Leo’s. He called us.”

She didn’t want nor need to hear more. Jackie passed Donna, ready to go home and yell some to Steven, it didn’t matter she had to get in the bus alone and take a cab to ‘Grooves’, she needed to tell him to go screw himself and die on his laying ass. Or something.

As Donna kept calling her, Jackie finally turned around. “How was him? Doped or drunk into oblivion? Or both?”

“Jackie, Jackie—“

“He promised he won’t do it again! And he just…”

“I know, I know!” Donna finally took her. Gently, her arms rounded her again, letting Jackie cry on her chest. “He was drunk, Leo called us so he would stop asking for… you know. Believe it or not, that dirty hippie really cares about him.”

She already knew that, but only nodded. In what moment did getting drunk become a better option than talking to her? Jackie should have known better. Or maybe she shouldn’t have given in on her desires, truly help him as a friend. Instead, she filled his head with ideas of relationships again when the only commitment he needed right now was with himself.

After a while, the tears finally stopped even with her heart still into pieces. Donna gave her a couple of tissues from her school bag, and Jackie knew she wasn’t meeting anyone with a red face and fallen makeup.

“So that’s why you want me to meet someone else?”

Donna nodded after a couple of silent seconds. “Sort of. Like I said, I met Milo before and thought maybe you could like him. He is nice.”

“I need a bathroom… Urgently, I assume.” She said, Donna signaled a more or less with her hand, then started to walk her to the nearest bathroom.

“Jackie, you don’t have to meet him right now. Or ever. I guess I’m being a creep.” Donna said once they were in front of the mirrors. Her makeup was kaput, so Jackie opened her purse and stared on herself, thinking of her options. “But I think that HydeAndJackie really needs to rest right now.”

“Donna, he preferred to get wasted than to talk to me. Again. What I need is to get rid of my heart.”

“See where I’m coming from?”

Jackie nodded, then splashed some water on her face. No, she wasn’t meeting anyone today. She was also not talking or seeing Steven today, she had a lot to think about.

“Can I stay with you and Eric today?” she murmured, Donna looked at her.

“Sure… thank God it’s Friday, right?” she smiled.

“Yeah.” she said. “I just don’t want to see Steven right now.”

“I know. So, are you meeting Milo?”

Jackie shook her head. “No. But you know who I want to meet?” Jackie looked at her friend, determination radiating from her face. “The Communications career director, please.”

******

“Well, I thought I wouldn’t be seeing you.” Eric said, his friend was almost passing him and Donna sitting on the waiting area when he called and the man looked at him, finally stopped the echo his boots did on the white floor. “Why the fuck did you hang up?”

“I wrecked the phone.”

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital, 06:58 pm._

Donna was asleep with her head on his shoulder, couldn’t sleep in the morning back at his home and refused to leave the hospital once they came back. Eric knew better than object to her desires at the moment, and now he was sitting, looking at his best friend who had finally appeared, just when he truly thought he was the biggest of the jerks in the planet.

“You look like shit.”

Hyde did, like if he hadn’t slept in days and it had only been hours since he knew about the accident. The stubble and sunglasses didn’t help it either.

“I feel like shit.”

Eric nodded, “Milo is in there right now, so…”

It was his friend’s turn to nod, his right foot moving in a nervous tick while his eyes, still covered for his sunglasses, took in the sight of the waiting room. Then, he left a paper mall bag to Eric’s foot and he tried to give a pick to it, but couldn’t move much without waking Donna up.

“I’m going to… I just…”

“Please, don’t leave. My mom wants to see you, don’t—“

“I just need a smoke, Forman…” he answered, showing his cigarette case and lighter. “I’ll be outside.”

“How much have you been smoking?” Donna said suddenly, Eric looked at her, then at Hyde.

“Uh, this would be the third one.”

“So you change one addiction for another? Alcohol for work and drugs for cigarettes?”

“Seriously?” Hyde said, his shoulders were tense already and Eric knew he needed to intervene before things get worse. “Right now?”

“Well, she’s not here to tell you, so…”

“Donna, man—“

“You two shut it, it’s not the right time for this. Christ…” Eric sighed, moving his achy shoulders when Donna sat down on her chair and stretched her own body. “I’ve had enough of fighting for today.”

“What do you mean?” Donna frowned.

Eric looked at her, then at Hyde. “Fez and I kinda yelled at each other. Nothing else happen, but…”

“Fuck.” Hyde said, Donna only sighed. “Everyone is this sensitive? Maybe I should… not stick my nose around.”

“Don’t you dare, Hyde. It’s Jackie, for God’s sake!”

“Hey, calm down, honey…” Eric’s voice made Donna sigh again and lay back on her chair, but the frown didn’t leave. “Look, man…” he acknowledged Hyde, “do whatever you want, but maybe please don’t leave just like that? Mom really wants to see you, and it would be nice if you can at least see _her_ , once. Just once, man.”

“Yeah…”

“Hyde,” they all looked up, Milo was standing in front of them with a nurse at his side and papers between his hands, “I thought for a second you weren’t coming…” he finished whatever he was working with the nurse. “It’s good to see you.” and he looked up at him, a small smile on his face. He looked tired to say the least. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Uh, yeah.” Hyde took his hand when Milo offered it. “Of course I would be here.”

“Yeah, I thought so.” he smiled. “Do you want to…” he signaled behind him, to where the alley continued, “see her?”

“Oh…” he scratched behind his head, if his nails were longer, he would have hurt himself by now. “Maybe later, I… really need a cigarette.”

Milo smiled, moving his head to one side and palming at Hyde’s shoulder, then looked at Donna and started to talk to her and the nurse. They were going to move Jackie to another room, bigger and better equipped, too.

Even now, Milo kept on spoiling Jackie as much as he could, Eric smiled at his friend when Hyde looked back at him, saying he was going outside to the terrace, wanting that smoke he talked about.

**

_07:18 pm._

The hallways to the third floor terrace were mostly empty, just a few nurses passed him by and some doctors talking between each other, nobody would mind him at all. Turning left, Hyde found a little commotion in the middle, so he walked faster to pass the nurse, the girl on the wheelchair and the two older women who were discussing animatedly.

“But—if I can go home by tomorrow, what about Harley?”

“She needs to stay, Mrs. Peterson.”

“Miss!”

Hyde saw the girl on the wheelchair looking at him from the corner of his eye, the red hair on her head moved as she looked at him completely and he tried to escape the scene, knowing he was about to be called.

“Hyde!”

Okay, maybe not by his name. So he looked back, the girl smiled at him bright and wide, genuinely happy to see him. That’s when he noticed, “Amm…” he tried to remember, “Carrie?”

“Kat!” she corrected, he shrugged but smiled at her. “I haven’t seen you in years!” then she seemed to notice something else, “You are here to see Jackie, right?”

This girl was one of those he truly didn’t remember that much. He nailed her once, probably for as long as a week If things were really good, but never even thought of her after. She was one of those girls Jackie had talked bad about, always saying how much of a bitch she was, then stopped when they started dating.

Kat Peterson, right? She had been naughty, and a bitch too. He wondered if she was still the same kind of person, or if she had changed like almost everyone around him with the years. At least, her beauty was still in place, even with the white gown, the cast on her arm and bruised face.

“Yeah, just found out about it today.” he answered.

“Oh…” she make a pout, “that’s awful, I thought you all were still good friends! I saw Michael and his family earlier, and The Formans, Donna Pinciotti… I was wondering if you’d come.”

“Why is everyone saying that?” he murmured. Damn. “Uh. What, why are you here, anyway?”

“I was in the same accident—“

“Kat?” one of the older women called, she looked at her immediately. “We are going to see Harley now, do you want us to wait for you or will we see you there?”

“I’ll see you there, auntie.” she answered with a small smile. “Thank you.” the women smiled at Hyde, he only nodded and returned his attention to Kat who was talking now to the nurse. “I can walk there, you know? This is ridiculous.”

“It’s not, is just a precaution.”

“Uh, yeah. But I can walk. I’ll be fine…”

“But—“

“I’ll be fine, woman.” she answered. Her tone, it made Hyde almost laugh. Still a bossy chick. “Hyde?” he looked at her, she was trying to stand and he leaned for her arm, helping her steady. “Thank you… I was just going to ask, where are you going? Jackie’s room is around that corner, in the other hallway.”

“Uh, I was about to take a smoke…”

“Oh, that sounds great!” she smiled, the nurse was eying them and he decided to ignore her, especially when Kat hugged his arm and aimed to walk with him. Dammit. “I’ll go with you, some air would do fine for me.”

“Are you sure? You just were in a wheelchair five seconds ago…”

“I’m fine!” she answered but then grabbed at his arm harder.

She was dizzy, Hyde held her by one shoulder with his free arm. Kat laughed once it passed.

“Really, the only bad thing that happened to me in the accident was the cast on my arm.” she showed her injured arm, “Other than that… well, my daughter.”

“Is she alright?” Kat shook her head, Hyde trapped a sigh on his throat, knowing it wasn’t truly the moment to be a jerk about this girl having a daughter. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” she answered, then stayed in silence until he found the door to the terrace. “You truly are smoking, isn’t it? Okay, this will be fine. I’ll just leave you here then.”

“Alright…”

“You know…” Kat started, looking at him right in front of his face.

She was a beautiful woman, alright. Pretty eyes, tiny nose, pink lips. No wonder why she was so popular back then; money and beauty are always the best of the combinations to adore.

“We all thought you and Jackie were it for each other. We were all so jealous…”

“What?” he laughed, “No way! You all gave Jackie too much crap for it, it was ridiculous.”

Kat laughed at that, one of her small hands landing on his chest. “Yeah, it was! But hey, read between lines… none of us had what you two. She was…” she bit her bottom lip, then smiled, “shining! Like if she was made of sunshine, all the time! Look, at least I was certainly jealous.” and then moved her head to one side, remembering. “Actually, I kind of tortured her talking about you once, about… you know…”

“Man, for fuck sake…”

“Yeah…” she laughed, then sighed, her hand finally leaving his body. “I was such a bitch. Not only to her, but to everyone.” her blue eyes found his over his glasses, real shame reflecting on them and Hyde decided not to say anything else. “I’m sorry.”

“Uh…” he nodded, what else could he do now? “You should tell that to her.”

“Yeah.” her smile returned. “I did it this morning and I would like to do it again when she wakes up. I’m sure she will do so soon.”

“Of course.”

“Right…” she laughed again, then shrugged. “It was nice to see you, Hyde. I’m glad you are here.” on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek as a goodbye, and then walked pass him. “Oh! Uh…” she looked back, Hyde turned to see her. “I meant that, that you two seemed right for each other. Is just... Jackie, she’s a great actress.” he nodded, not knowing what she was up to. “She said she was happy, but…” Kat shook her head, a knowing smile on her lips. “I don’t think she is.”

“Uh…” Hyde scratched the back of his head, this was too much. “Okay?”

“I hope you stick around.” she waved her healthy hand at him. “Bye bye, Hyde.”

“See you, man.”

He saw her walk away slowly, just stopping for a second to grab her forehead again but then keep on walking, normal as she was. He remembered with a little smile, the kind of dirty fun he had with her, and the wonderful smell she had. Kat was a sweet girl deep down, Hyde remembered, too.

Sighing, he finally went out to take that smoke.

******

_07:22 pm_

The moment Jackie heard Hyde was in the hospital, she needed to get out that room again. She couldn’t be there when he entered, no matter if she was able to hear what he could tell her now. Which was ironic since one of the reasons she wanted to be in Point Place so bad these vacations was to make a few things clear with him.

But she was in coma now and whatever Hyde had to tell her (or not) while in this position, it scared her shitless even worse than talking to him that night she went out with Milo for the first time.

So, she started to wander around the hospital until she got a place in mind to visit: Harley’s room.

_‘Alright, listen to me because I’m not sure I can do this again: I don’t want you to go out with that guy, Jackie. I mean—go out with him if you want, it’s just… I don’t know. I thought you and I—‘_

_‘So you want to be with me, Steven? That’s what you want to say?’_

_‘Yeah…’_

_‘I want to be with you, too. I really do. But Steven… You got drunk the night we were supposed to talk. Again. How can we be together, if we can’t talk without this happening?’_

She stopped walking, slowly breathing in and out as the memory of Hyde’s blue eyes letting her know she was breaking his heart by explaining him why they couldn’t be together was projected in her mind, even when she didn’t want it or needed it.

With her eyes closed, she let the memory remind her why she left Point Place in the first place. Why she didn’t talk to him for so long, and why she ended searching for him anyway.

_‘I know I’m not the best company right now…’_

_‘I love you, Steven. I will love you forever, I’m sure of that. But I can’t keep seeing you like this. I can’t be your excuse to get wasted and hurt yourself, that’s not the kind of inspiration I want to cause on you—‘_

_‘Not being with you is what drove me to lose my shit in the first place. We should be together, Jackie.’_

_‘Steven… you did the exact same thing when we were together. You chose booze over us, and I chose paranoia over us. I don’t think… That’s not how I wanted you.’_

Standing at the end of the hallway, Kat was kissing Hyde’s cheeks and something inside Jackie felt like when you fall at the end of one of those dreams with a maze and the lights go out. She started to walk to them as Kat walked away from Hyde, returning just a little to say something else.

_‘So what you are saying is… “Maybe we should be together, but not right now”? That’s just lame. You don’t want to be with me, period.’_

_‘I want you to be okay, Steven. That’s what I want. And I’m not doing you good anymore.’_

_‘I’m not doing you good anymore either, right? This is such a fucking mess, I knew this would happen since the beginning. See why I never wanted to get involved?’_

_‘Yet here you are, Steven.’_

_‘Fuck, fuck, fuck…’_

Kat stopped near Jackie, taking her forehead with one hand and she tried to steady her even knowing she couldn’t do anything. The girl then smiled to herself and started to walk away, slowly, but normal. For a second, Jackie thought of following her. But in front of the door at the end of the hallway, Hyde was looking in her direction.

She walked forward.

_‘I mean it, Steven. I will always love you.’_

He stood there like knowing she was right in front, but his eyes were just set on Kat, waiting for her to disappear to then do whatever he had wanted to do outside.

God, was he handsome? Even with that stubble, the damn sunglasses and tired expression, his strong jawline and the clef chin still called her home to kiss it. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

_‘I love you, Jackie. That’s not changing anytime soon.’_

He turned away, walking outside and leaving Jackie there, eyes glued to his imposing back.

_‘You are it for me, Jackie.’_

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Hyde and Eric share a smoke, sort of. Jackie hears terrible news and so does everyone else. Back in 1980, things goes to hell between Red and Hyde, while the later realizes that there has always been someone on his team, even when he didn't wanted her.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	6. Break Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde and Eric share a smoke, sort of. Jackie hears terrible news and so does everyone else. Back in 1980, things goes to hell between Red and Hyde, while the later realizes that there has always been someone on his team, even when he didn't wanted her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm very sorry for how late this update is being published but... okay, to be honest? I forgot I had to update the fic. Feedback has been reduced and it made me forget about the thing until my beat, god bless her sweet soul, asked me what was going on and I remembered. So, again, I'm very sorry I'm updating this late in the night! Yet, I hope you enjoy this chapter, because I'm sure people will want to slap me with the ending *runs away*
> 
> Other than that, thank you so much to the people who always left comments on my updates! This chapter is dedicated to my dear friends NannyGirl and MistyMountainHop, as well to ZenAdnGreen and BartonsRomanova! Thank you all for your wonderful support!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/151816788030/heart-like-yours-chapter-vi-break-point-jackie) to support me! Thank you! Enjoy your lecture!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter VI – Break Point**

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital – Smoking Area, 08:24 pm._

When Forman appeared in his view, Hyde sighed and wished he had not told him where he was going. Especially when Red and Bob followed, both looking too somber for his liking. Jackie wasn’t dead, man. They all needed to stop with those faces.

“They are changing Jackie to a bigger and brighter room.” Eric told him and Hyde couldn’t help but smile. His cigarette was long gone, he was just enjoying the chill of the night and the sound of their little city and its comforting lights. “What?”

“You just sounded like her, man.” then, he moved his head and imitated Jackie’s girly, annoying voice, “I want a bigger room, with a view and bright light if I’m staying in coma here!”

Forman laughed, it was nice to see that after the frown that welcomed him first. Red and Bob waved at them, but stayed near the door talking. “Totally. That’s what Kelso thought, and Milo just… moved all.”

“Of course he did.”

None of them said more, Eric looked at him searching for any reaction or indication that something was wrong but, aside from the bags under his eyes, everything else seemed fine.

Bob and Red started to walk over there and Eric leaned his back on the balcony’s stone railing, Hyde stayed with his arms resting over it, looking down.

“Everyone else is in the room right now.” Eric said, “Jackie would love this. She has all of us around her, just waiting for her to wake up. Everyone is here now.”

Hyde nodded, “Not like this, man.”

“Uh?”

Taking out another cigarette, Hyde sighed and looked at his friend before Red and Bob reached them.

“I don’t think she would like this.” he said. “I bet some of you have been crying near her, carrying those sad puppy faces all day. When she wants to be the center of attention, she also wants it to be something positive. Right now, this looks like a goddamn funeral. She’s alive, man.” Hyde looked at Forman, his friend only nodded. “Plus: once she wakes up, everything will be back to normal, eventually we’ll forget she may have died… and that would be it.” he looked up at his friend, taking a drag before talking again, “I don’t think her dreams are like that.”

“Yeah…” Forman said. “You are right.”

******

_July 12, 1980. The Formans’ kitchen, 6:45 pm._

Jackie had thought about this almost since before they left the hospital.

When they all entered the Formans’ kitchen and Mr. Forman was waiting on his usual spot, she knew her decision would actually be pretty helpful the instant the man’s eyes shone wild when Steven passed the sliding door.

“Red, please…” Mrs. Forman called, her nervousness just causing her nausea.

None of this was going to be pretty, and Donna took her hand, tugging her to the basement, but she couldn’t just leave. She stayed firmly beside Eric near the kitchen’s table, Donna behind them, Steven standing just a few steps from his basically adoptive father, and Mrs. Forman at her husband’s side, between Steven and him.

“So now you are using syringes now?” Mr. Forman said, as if the entire room shivered with the cold tone, no one said anything. “In my house?”

“Not really.”

Jackie had to resist the urge of rolling her eyes. Even in the middle of chaos, Steven insisted on being Zen and act as if he didn’t care. But she knows him well, just like Eric at her side did, and he was pissing his own pants at the moment. Like Eric told him back at the hospital, this was something he wasn’t able to just look away from, this talk with Mr. Forman was unavoidable.

“Okay, everyone, get out!” Mr. Forman called but no one move a finger. “Out!”

“Kids, kids…” Mrs. Forman walked towards them, pushing them outside the kitchen to leave Steven alone with the older man. “Please, go to the basement or wait outside. It will be fine.”

“Mom…” Eric started.

“Eric, honey, please listen to your fa—“

“Your behavior has been unacceptable since last year and I’m tired of it, Steven.” Mr. Forman continued, not caring if they were still in the room, all in front of the sink now. “I looked pass it because you are supposed to be a goddamn adult, but all I see is a kid crying for help.”

“I don’t need any help—“

“Shut that mouth!” he said, Steven looked at him right in the eyes and Eric’s grip on his mother’s shoulder increased. Jackie looked at him, then at Steven and swallowed hard. “We have never asked anything from you but respect, have you been respecting us and our home this past year?”

“Oh, how could I know?” Steven answered and Jackie’s eyes went wide. “If I remember, no one even talks to me in this house since Forman left! And I’m the one who always ends up fixing everything around and having to listen to random rambles about bad sons and terrible daughters, anyway.”

“There goes the kid again!” Mr. Forman stand up and Steven stayed still on his place, daring the older man to keep going with his port and stare. “You first leave without saying a word to Kitty and come back married to a dancer you barely knew, spend all day drunk yelling at her and throwing her poor things to the only good woman that has ever looked at you, and you dare play victim now?”

“What—“

“What?” Jackie murmured, Mrs. Forman took her hand suddenly and she looked up, she was shaking her head ‘no’.

No interruptions, not a word, not a time for questions.

Taking Donna’s hand too, she looked at the scene almost in tears. Of all the times she wished someone would tell Steven what he had done to her, she never truly wanted it to come true. And this? This was a nightmare.

“That was a year ago!” Steven tried to lose the theme, Mr. Forman stepped forward and made him step back.

Burn.

“I’m not done yet.” Mr. Forman announced, Steven’s back went rigid. He was probably still dizzy for the medication, and the anger would make him feel ill soon.

This needed to stop now.

“You have been disrespecting my wife constantly, don’t you think I haven’t noticed. Your goddamn mouth needs a sock in it or a foot will end u—“

“Up my ass?” he laughed, Jackie felt her shoulders too heavy.

How had Steven come to this? He was the most mature, most grounded man she had ever known. But in this moment, he was just a joke and he deserved a slap.

“I’m dead serious, Steven.” he announced. “I can’t keep letting you pass us all over and let you destroy yourself, not in my house. You are going to drop this stupid act right now and sit down, talk your shit like a grown up and stop attempting against your own goddamn life. Sit!”

“You know what, Red? Fuck you!” even Eric jumped at that, he looked at his friend with wide open eyes and Jackie felt like hugging Mrs. Forman who was almost in tears now. “You think you know me or what I need just because I live in your basement like some kind of ornament you throw around when you need to fix shit?”

“Steven, honey—“ Mrs. Forman tried to intervene, but Eric took her gently by the shoulders.

“I’m not your son! I never was! I never even asked to be taken, anyway! It was all Forman’s idea, you were the ones that got me here in the first place!”

“You were a fucking kid whose mother abandoned without anything but dust, we tried to help you—“

“I never asked for it!” he answered, “Have you ever thought how it makes me feel to be here knowing I don’t belong anywhere and that I’m just wasting your space and time? I’m sorry for the hospital bill, I’ll pay you every damn penny of it but just leave me alone for once!”

Then, there was just silence and Mrs. Forman small’s cries. Nobody even moved, just Mr. Forman who sat down again and looked a little pale in Jackie’s opinion. Steven was shivering, his sunglasses had slid a little on his nose, and his eyes were frightened. There was no way this was going to end up good and she swallowed once, then again.

“Steven,” Mr. Forman squeezed the bridge of his nose, sounding calmer now, almost understanding, “I see you are going through a bad time. We are trying to help you here, so sit down and listen for once in your life.”

But Steven didn’t move, he was still looking like a frightened dog that has been attacked, tense and hard. “I don’t need your help.” he looked at his friends and Mrs. Forman now, Jackie tried to search for his eyes but he returned his glare to Mr. Forman. “I’m not your responsibility, Red. I can take care of myself.”

“Oh, really?” the irritation was back, “And what was that today? You went on a trip to the hospital for fun?”

He didn’t answer right away, but still with his eyes on Mr. Forman’s, he finally answered in a low tone. “You have no idea what that was for.”

“No, and I don’t care.” Mr. Forman answered. “But you clearly aren’t grown up enough to even admit you have a goddamn problem with you, dumbass! Sit. Down. Now.”

“You are not my father, Red.” Steven said again, making Mrs. Forman let go of her hand and almost walk at him, but Eric maintained his soft grip. “I never asked to be here in the first place.”

“Is that so?” Mr. Forman nodded. “Then you can go, son.”

Mr. Forman stood up, he moved slow and seemed somehow defeated. Jackie couldn’t help but wonder how deep the wound of Steven’s words could be. She knew perfectly the kind of power his statements could have and a part of her felt like holding the older man.

“I was really proud of you when you decided to keep contact with your father and take that job with the store and your sister, it suited you to have something of your own and work for it.” Mr. Forman added looking at Steven with a hand around Mrs. Forman’s shoulders. “But I don’t know the man standing on my kitchen. I don’t want to see him again on my house.”

“Red!” Mrs. Forman looked up at him, Jackie felt her own tears going down her face. Not even in her angrier states she would have wanted something like this for Steven, no matter how cruel he could be to her. “Red? This is not okay, this—“

He kissed her forehead, then let her go. “I’m sorry, Kitty. I’m tired, too.” And left the kitchen with a soft sound.

******

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital, 08:39 pm._

“Boys…” Bob called, they looked at him and Red standing at Eric’s side. “You haven’t been with her, right?” he was talking to Hyde.

“Yeah, not yet.” was his answer, he didn’t feel like taking at the moment. In fact, he didn’t feel like anything in this situation.

A part of him wanted to be in that room, the other was feeling too useful to even breathe in her direction. In between, he didn’t want to see anyone, to listen to anyone, to exist with someone else.

“You better get your ass there, Kitty has been asking for you all day.”

Hyde looked at Forman when he put a hand on his shoulder. “My fault, I was supposed to call since one am? But with all that happened…”

“What happened?”

From the way all three men looked at him, Hyde knew he was about to smoke at least two cigarettes more. Sighing, he took another drag and exhaled as far as he could from Red and Bob.

“She had a respiratory failure” answered Red.

“Longest. Thirty. Minutes. Ever.” said Forman, remembering the experience. “I mean, it was more the time we ran around the hospital calling people and asking for directions then what we had to wait to know about her, but still. It felt eternal.”

“I was on my way to the hospital,” Bob commented, “but I searched for Pamy’s number first. I knew I had it somewhere, and called as soon as I got it.”

“So, she’s coming or what?” asked Hyde.

Bob thought about it, maybe twenty seconds to long, but only smiled and nodded. “I think so, yes.”

Hyde frowned. This was Pam Burkhart, okay. “She told you she was coming?”

“No…” and Red rolled his eyes at Bob’s side, “Not exactly, she started crying on the phone and said something about having to cancel with her friends, then hung up. I hope she’s coming.”

“Christ…” Hyde took a longer drag to his cigarette, then returned his attention to the city below. “What about her father? Is there a way to tell him?”

“Kelso said he will take care of it.” replied Forman.

Kelso had come back to the Police Academy in Chicago once he decided he wanted a life with his daughter and her mother, so he needed to prove himself to Brooke. Deep down, he was proving to himself that he was more than just burns and bad luck. He did good, the big idiot. Now, he could help with legal shit every once in a while.

On a brighter note, his little punishments as the traffic officer gave him the chance to stand right outside the library Brooke worked in that time, one that was besides a kindergartner for which he controlled the traffic. Since the doofus was always good with kids, he became the amusement of many mothers and Brooke herself. He made it look easy, that to woo the woman you want was just a kid’s game he dominated by just being himself.

Lucky bastard.

“We should come back.” Forman suggested, palming Hyde’s shoulder before starting to walk inside with Bob.

His oldest friend started a new conversation with his in-law, slowly leaving him behind with Red and Hyde knew what was coming, he could feel it on his bones, the resonance of a little scene with the man he once considered a father, and then disrespected like an ungrateful bad seed.

“Dumbass,” Red called him, Hyde sighed and looked at the man, “you need to stop smoking or you’ll make Kitty remember you carry like six boxes of that with you. I don’t need that now.”

“Uh,” he looked at the almost consumed cigarette between his fingers, “yeah. I’ll clean up before seeing everyone.”

“Yeah.” Red put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing a little. “I’m glad you are here, kid.”

The moment was too small to call it a scene but Hyde would take it, he nodded at the man and smiled to himself before giving once last look at Point Place and turning off his cigarette, walking inside with Red. They couldn’t see Forman and Bob anymore, so he just followed the older man to get to that room he has been avoiding since the moment he put a foot in the hospital.

******

_July 12, 1980. The Formans’ kitchen. 6:57 pm._

Mrs. Forman looked at Steven, this time Eric let her go to him and to everyone’s surprise, her hand landed on his cheek. It wasn’t strong enough to leave a mark or make an actual echo, but she had slapped him like Jackie wanted to do herself many times by now.

“How could you said that to him? How could you say something like that!? We have cared for you since before we brought you here, Steven. We love you like a son! You are my son!” she said, her voice sounded as hurt as her expression.

For the way Steven clenched his jaw, Jackie knew he was about to lose his protection in front of everyone on this room.

“You broke his heart…” she murmured, “You broke his heart!” and then put a hand over her own chest, “and you broke mine, too!”

“Mrs. Forman…”

“What are we going to do if something worse than today happens to you? Uh? Jesus!”, she waited for an answer from him, but only found him lowering his stare to the ground, looking like a called out puppy, a frightened kid.

At the end, Mrs. Forman walked towards the exit to follow her husband and Eric tried to call her but she didn’t answer, leaving the four of them alone.

“Fuck!” Eric cried, fingers tugging at his hair just a little before turning to Steve. “What the fuck, man?”

“What?” he barked back, his tone was too deep and Donna wouldn’t let her go, Jackie needed to reach Steven. “Now what, Forman? Something else you want to say besides your show at the hospital?”

“You are a fucking asshole! Get the fuck out of my house, you dillhole!”

“Oh, so now you are man enough to try and yell at me?” he laughed, Donna finally let her go and Jackie followed as Eric walked towards Steven

He had his fists ready, she knew him well even without memories and blind. Once angry and frustrated, his last stage before wanting to be alone was to break something, or someone. And Eric, just as moved by his own frustration, was the best option as he approached his friend also with clenched fists, both girls trying to get to them before they crashed.

“Eric, Eric!” Donna called putting her hands around his waist from behind, but Eric pushed her aside and prepared his fist to land on his friend’s face. “Eric, no…! Jackie—!“

She put herself between Eric and Steven, chest going up and down heavily as her eyes let go of rivers and rivers of tears she promised to never tear again for the same man. There she was, protecting him once more, this time even physically, arms wide open and a plea to Eric Forman, from all people, to back off and leave him alone.

Eric stopped, looking at her with wide open eyes. “Fuck, Jackie!”

The boy scratched his head furiously with both hands before looking at Jackie again, “I can’t believe you, Jackie! I can’t fucking believe you!” then passed of them and went outside the kitchen through the glass door.

Donna walked quickly to her, her hands on Jackie’s shoulders and her expression too scared to be joking or not caring about the whole situation. Steven was saying nothing.

“Are you okay?” Donna asked her, one hand on her elbow and her eyes searching for any kind of injury, any kind. “I’m going to… Eric, I’m—“

“Go.”

Donna nodded at her, not even looked once at Steven and left. He passed her without a word, quickly walking towards the basement and Jackie stayed standing in the kitchen for three seconds, trying to control her breathing until she heard Steven’s rage downstairs.

******

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital, 08:27 pm._

Seeing Hyde had the exact opposite effect Jackie thought he would have over her: she was feeling numb, barely awake, just walking like an actual ghost around the hospital without a real destination but be near him, see when he was finally walking to her room.

To be honest, she wasn’t surprised he was here and didn’t go straight to see her. To be there meant having to see Milo with her, and she understood, alright, that Hyde just couldn’t bring himself to not feel the wave of wondering at the sight.

She has been there, too. Him with his fake wife, and that girl in the basement when they were supposed to be together, Sara.

Milo had looked at her _funny_ when he noticed that last one, the way she had rejected the girl just after hearing she was Hyde’s date. After that, they stayed as far from the pair as possible in The Kelsos’ home for Betsy’s birthday just this year.

That night in New York, during November, when Hyde told her he had broken up with Sara, the way her chest became a drummer’s solo, she knew something was off. That the emptiness she felt for months wasn’t just the tragedy of time, leaving it clear that Milo wasn’t The One as she wanted him to be. It was something else that started because of Milo, with one phone call.

_‘You need a favor from Hyde! Ask him yourself!’_

_‘Babe, honestly, I can’t do it. He is your friend. Just this time, please.’_

_‘Ugh... Alright!’_

Jackie was right there again, in that sacred place she thought would never be hers once more. And it costed her just three phone calls, one damn letter and a night out.

If the idea of it made her vibrate like a virgin being touched by her boyfriend for the first time, she decided to ignore it. Again.

She touched her lips with the tip of her fingers. The shadow of her rejection was still wandering around her mind, oppressing her heart and entire reasoning into too many questions and too much fear.

When did she become such a ball of apprehensiveness? It was an incredible ugly thing to be.

“Is there…” she told to herself when she saw Kat’s aunt entering a room with all the lights on.

There was Harley on bed, her mother at her side and another woman with short hair behind Kat. Jackie sighed and followed inside, moving to stand at Harley’s other side and touch her forehead with tender fingers.

She was a cute girl, her blond hair shone golden against the light and her tiny features reminded her of her favorite doll when she was a kid. Jackie smiled as she saw the girl sleeping, listening to Kat saying her plans of Christmas soon and how many toys Santa would get Harley, because she has been the best of the girls this year.

Just then, Jackie realized there was someone approaching her on her room, sitting at her side and taking her hand. For the way the person was doing little circles on her hand, and her nails touched her skin, Jackie realized it could only be Mrs. Forman.

 _“Honey, we got your purse!”_ Mrs. Forman announced on her room and Jackie couldn’t help but laugh as the three women on this room talked to each other. _“Now, Donna and I checked your makeup, and I have some bad news…”_

“Oh, no…”Jackie said, sitting straight on the bed to listen.

_“Your translucent powder died in the accident, and so did your blush powder too.”_

“Nooo! The blush was new!” she cried, the color was also cute as hell. How was she going to get her incredible Christmas look she had on mind now? Damn.

“Auntie, you think she is really listening?” Kat asked and Jackie looked at her.

“Oh yes, if I can hear you, I’m sure she can too.” she answered to no one.

Back in her room, Mrs. Forman kept talking. _“Steven is here, honey… I haven’t seen him,”_ Jackie sighed, _“I know he is here and I’m so glad… he has changed so much.”_

“Really?”

 _“But…”_ the woman sighed, Jackie laid on Harley’s bed, listening to Kat saying Harley how much he loved her. _“Sometimes I wonder if he will ever have someone, you know? I’m starting to think he is one of those who are destined to be the... cool, like he says, uncle or something.”_

Jackie laughed at that, imagining Hyde sitting on Mr. Forman’s couch with everyone’s kids at his feet, listening to him talking about their terrible decisions when they were younger and his great adventures while forever single.

Maybe yes, maybe that was his destiny. And hers was to be the forever single aunt that buys ridiculous and expensive gifts, and takes the kids out for the entire day so their parents can have time for each other. Maybe they will end up being paired during reunion parties, talking about late night TV and the latest movie, since none of their friends will have mind for another thing but their married lives as parents.

 _“Jackie, darling, you have no idea how I miss your funny comments and puppy eyes…”_ she said, Jackie smiled. She missed Mrs. Forman’s soft words and loud laugh. _“It’s always so good to hear you, I can’t wait for you to wake up and go home with us!”_

“Me neither, Mrs. Forman…”

_“Because you know, honey, you are always welcomed here. This is your home.”_

Jackie looked right into the ceiling, thinking of it, of Christmas at The Formans’ and the smell of Mrs. Forman’s pies and hot cocoa. Betsy singing Christmas carols, the boys bothering each other with Santa hats on their heads, Donna and Brooke giggling in the couch, Mr. Forman at his while pretending to listen to Bob and Pastor Dave.

Home.

_“Please, stay with us.”_

******

_July 12, 1980. The Formans’ basement, 7:02 pm._

When she went to the place they all used to hang out every day, the yellow helmet the boys played with to mock their stupidity was on the floor with all the magazines and other materials over the table and boxes Mr. and Mrs. Forman maintained there.

All things formed a messy path to Steven’s ro—old room that had its door closed. She stood there, thinking faster than usual for something to say. So she followed his example, and went straight to the subject.

“Steven, I know you don’t want to see anyone right now—“ the only answer she got was the sound of more stuff being thrown. “But listen: if you need a place for the night, you can stay at my place and Fez’s. I’ll talk to him…” no answer again. “I… I’ll be at Donna’s right now, but—you can go to my apartment if you want.” Again, no other sound but stuff being wrecked. “Okay, I… See you, Steven.”

She couldn’t help to care that much for him. Having him for the night at her place was probably the most stupid idea she ever had, but Jackie couldn’t stand the idea of him _not_ having a place to stay and someone to be with. He always shut down and hid himself when shit happened, but he also needed a place to rest.

We all need a place, sometimes it is _in_ someone else. And if she could help him that way—

“Oh!”

She felt his arms rounding her, didn’t hear the moment Steven had left his room and walked over her, but Jackie turned around slowly and let him hide his face between her shoulder and neck. He never cried, only stayed wordless until he felt strong enough to share something or, like most times, just kiss her as a thanks for not pushing him into being vulnerable.

Right now, vulnerable was exactly what he felt like in her arms. Jackie held him as long as he wished, fingers caressing tenderly his hair and ears, and sideburns, voice reassuring him softly that it will be fine, until he slowly let her go, notoriously embarrassed for—well. Everything.

“Thank you—"

“It’s okay, Steve—“

“for staying.”

Jackie looked up at him, his sunglasses were in the ground back in his room, and his blue eyes shone red. Carefully, she put a hand on his cheek and caressed with a smile. “I’ve always been here, Steven.”

******

_December 3, 1982. Jackie’s new room, 9:03 pm._

Jackie smiled as Betsy jumped near her bed, explaining how she had put the glowing stars stickers over her bed back in Chicago and how she will put some over Jackie’s the next day, so her new room would look pretty too. Michael was happily nodding at all her plans, Donna had Jess on her arms as she seemed more comfortable now, talking to Fez and Brooke while Milo and Mrs. Forman chatted on the couch.

This was home-like, in a way.

She had come back from Harley’s room with an aching heart and teary eyes. Such a little girl shouldn’t be in that position, and listening to Kat say over and over, once her aunts left her alone with her daughter, how much she wanted to change their positions only made Jackie feel worse.

For a moment, the idea of searching for the girl in the hospital sparked a desire to move but then, she realized if that was the case, the girl would be in her room, following her mother around. Maybe she was there and Jackie couldn’t see her like everyone else. Or this was just her personal hell, like she had thought since the beginning.

Sighing, Jackie looked at Milo who was just nodding at what Mrs. Forman was saying about her stuff and how she wanted to be part of her recuperation once she woke up.

When her ex-fiancé entered the hospital earlier today, she wasn’t truly surprised to see him, but not less happy. She still cared for him, still loved him. That may never change, but the fact that she wasn’t _impatient_ to see him, to be touched by him as she laid on that bed reminded her that she did good by breaking the compromise.

All those feelings seemed to be reserved for certain asshole who wasn’t in this room but smoking in the terrace, as Eric had pointed out before leaving to give him company.

“Betsy, darling, remember to not make too much sound or—“

“Nurse Nora will be angry!” she answered.

Nora was the nurse that’ve been taking care of Jackie’s case, always talking to her as if she was in the room. Something Jackie appreciate a lot. This was the most time she had spent being the center of attention and yet, she wasn’t enjoying it at all.

Even now, all calm and collected, the truth was that the moment her friends were gone, she wouldn’t stop thinking about… whatever this was.

“So, is Hyde here or what?” Michael asked and Jackie looked at him immediately. He was looking at Fez and Donna, who only shrugged. “What does that mean? Is that like the Hyde-signal now? Are we gonna shrug like him every time we are referring to him now?”

“Oooh, he is the One That Should Not Be Named!” Fez said too excited for something so odd, Jackie shook her head and waited for Brooke or Donna to shut them up, but Betsy was laughing, and that was enough for her.

“Oh! If we mention _him_ in Jackie’s presence, maybe she will have convulsions or something!”

“Michael!”

“Thank you, Brooke!” she added after the librarian slapped Michael’s arm.

“Ouch! It was only a joke, Brooke!”

Joke or not, it was awful and a lie. It’s been a while since the last time she felt awkward or even _bad_ in Hyde’s presence. Things were different now, had been like this for months, and the change had been as silent as their agreement of never mentioning the shit that went down between them, and her rejecting him _twice_.

A part of the story none of their friends knew. Not even Donna.

But Eric did.

“He said he needed to smoke, so…” Donna finally answered.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” Mrs. Forman said, “but I hope he was talking about tabacco?”

“Oh, yeah. He doesn’t do _that_ anymore, Mrs. Kitty.” Fez answered.

“He doesn’t even smoke pot anymore…” Jackie sighed, looking at her friends talking about her ex-boyfriend’s old habits and his visit to the hospital.

Still, she couldn’t believe he had hung up the phone to Eric. Why would he do that? She thought he would show up immediately. She would have if it was him. Maybe he hadn’t changed after all. A buttoned shirt and dressing shoes didn’t mean anything; she had fell for it again like an idiot, like if she was sixteen years old again.

Then, she shrugged, remembering the rest of Hyde’s clothes that night in New York and then at Izzy’s a week later. He had still used his eyeball ring, his sunglasses, the same old watch and that skull pin his grandmother gave him on his black blazer.

Sighing, she remembered once more that clothes may not mean who the person is, but the way they are being used tells you enough: Hyde was the same boy she once loved in a way, to hope the boy would be the man she dreamed a long time ago was being delusional. Again.

“But he truly is sober and doesn’t do drugs anymore…” she told herself, eyes following Milo around the room until he opened the door. Nora was there. “Uh?”

“Everything alright?” Milo asked gently, Nora seemed upset.

“Yes, just… to the guys, I heard they knew Miss Peterson?”

Jackie stood up, walking quickly to the door.

“Well… just a second.” Milo answered, then looked back at the room. “Hey, Donna? Uh…”

“What is it?” she asked, giving Jess to Brooke to walk to him.

“I’m so sorry to say this, Miss Pinciotti, but—“

“What?”, Jackie and Donna said at the same time.

“Well… Miss Peterson just died.”

*******

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: A little girl is now alone in the world and Jackie can't help but feel ill with the sole idea of it, meanwhile the shadows on her room move around her to kiss her hand. Back in 1980, a storm scares Jackie's dreams and her roommate knows how to help her sleep again.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	7. The Cursed Cheerleader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little girl is now alone in the world and Jackie can't help but feel ill with the sole idea of it, meanwhile the shadows on her room move around her to kiss her hand. Back in 1980, a storm scares Jackie's dreams and her roommate knows how to help her sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, have I been pissed off this week? I’m very sorry for how late this update is coming, it was all my fault. My beta and friend had the chapter ready in time, but I was just being an asshole (still am) and ugh. You know, shit happens. Also, I was kind of tipsy yesterday after a family party with my cousins, so I went directly to sleep and wake up today this late. I’m very sorry.
> 
> … I’m also very sorry for this chapter, but in reality I’m not :V
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/152174002975/heart-like-yours-chapter-vii-the-cursed) to support me! Thank you! Enjoy your lecture!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter VII – The cursed cheerleader**

_September 16, 1980. Jackie and Hyde’s apartment. 10:24 pm._

Jackie’s oldest memory was of her walking the dark hallways of her big house in Point Place with only one of her stuffed unicorn’s company as the sky fell down in big, fat drops of cold water and cruel lighting.

She couldn’t remember how old she was and what day it was, but she remembered her father waking up when she probably asked to lay down with them. He had looked at her with a tired smile but took her in his arms and put her to bed with them. Then said something, kissed her forehead and went back to sleep.

Between her parents, she looked up to their ceiling and lay there awake without doing a sound until sleep came to her. Meanwhile, their backs saluted her when she looked first at mom, who didn’t even moved when she woke them up, and then at dad, who gave her a little attention, then went back to his things.

Jackie had only Mr. Snuggles to look at her, and she hugged him, then fell asleep.

Tonight, she didn’t have Mr. Snuggles. She had killed him months ago, when Steven’s stripper ex-wife appeared in their lives. Jackie shook her heard, she couldn’t keep thinking like this, that woman was long gone and Steven was…

Right here.

“1… 2… 3…”

Following her counting with her fingers, she tried to forget about the idea her mind was pushing so hard into her heart.

Steven had started sleeping in her apartment after all his drama with the intestinal bleeding and heroine won him Mr. Forman’s foot in his ass and a ticket to her apartment. That Fez was leaving just in a few days after that happened was just a great coincidence. Now, Steven was living with her.

“15… 16… 17…”

This was ridiculous. The lighting outside was a stupid fear and she knew it.

Standing from her bed and telling herself she was going for some water was also the worst. Counting to thirty without finding a stop was just atrocious. And the fact that Steven’s door was wide open like a goddamn invitation should be her clue to go back to her bed and suck it, she was too old to be scared of lighting and some rain.

“You are still afraid of it.” she heard from the kitchen, the light was on and Steven was standing there, cooking something. “Sit down, it’s almost done.”

“What is almost done?”

“Warm milk.”

Like a freaking child.

******

_December 3, 1982. Harley’s room, 09:16 pm._

Harley was still sleeping, nobody in her room but Jackie. Not a sound, not a light. Anything.

The sole idea of this little girl alone in the world was enough to make Jackie shiver. Her hand reached Harley’s little face and, even though she couldn’t feel it, she hoped Harley would, and that it will tell her that she wasn’t alone in this.

Kat had died.

Just like that, no other explanation but a brain hemorrhage.

‘Is something that just comes…’, Mrs. Forman and Nora had explained to them with solemn expressions back in her room. ‘Usually, it announces itself too late and in too normal things’.

Nora had told her friends it was probably caused by the knock Kat got from the accident. But because the rest of her body seemed in perfect state and the studies had show nothing in that moment, none of them ever thought it could happen.

Now, Harley was alone.

“I’m so sorry, baby…” Jackie swallowed hard, “I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry…”

She couldn’t cry, her tears had been dried this morning when she woke up at her body’s side without any explanation but God laughing to her face. But the hollow space on her entire soul couldn’t be ignored.

Maybe it was fear for her own life. What could assure her she wasn’t next in this curse her cheerleader team seemed to have? What If this poor little girl was next? It seemed like God didn’t had enough with her teen days, He needed more from her.

What if Eric was right? Maybe she was devil and needed all these bad experiences to one day find her way back home, downstairs and beyond.

Jackie shook her head, she was starting to sound as stupid as Michael on pot.

She sat down besides Harley, fingers still caressing her face and hair, chest going up and down in heavy notions until she finally started crying.

Kat was dead.

This little girl had lost her mother when her father and entire family didn’t want her. For what Jackie heard from the aunt’s conversation with Donna, they weren’t sure of what they would do now, having Harley alone. The girl had just lost her mother and her aunts were already rejecting her.

Jackie could relate to that, in the most pathetic of the ways.

Rejection was one of her oldest friends, and that’s why she ended up in this kid’s room, trying to sooth an also comatose person, searching for a meaning to all this. It wasn’t fair, not at all. Harley deserved to wake up and find her mother, not an empty room.

“Seeing it like this…” why would she still be laying on that bed when she had nothing going on?

Milo and her were no longer together, no matter the man hasn’t told anyone and had put himself in charge of everything. She was still in uni, probably will lose the job she applied for last week thanks to this, losing the call she asked to get at The Formans was a go by now, she didn’t have any family who needed or wanted to be needed by her.

She was alone.

“Harley?” Jackie called.

Maybe the girl was around like her, maybe she could wake her up and at least give her a shot at life. She was just a kid, she deserved a _life_.

“Look, I know it doesn’t seem that way right now and when you wake up, you’ll wish you haven’t. I mean—I hope you don’t. You are too small to think that way, and I’m so bad at this…” she laughed. “I’m so bad with kids, too…” sighing, she let herself lay over Harley’s chest.

The girl won’t feel it anyway, so it was okay. To listen to her heartbeat was a comfort she didn’t expect.

“Your mom and I were never friends, not really. But I knew her and sometimes, she made me laugh. When we started talking on that bus, I thought… she has changed so much, just like me.” she looked up at the girl’s sleeping face. “I hoped she had a happy life in spite all the crap from the past… I wanted to add ‘like me’, but then I remembered that I lied to your mother.”

There was someone in her room, she could tell. The person in there was moving a chair, probably to sit in front of her body. Jackie sighed, every time someone spoke to her body, the sound confused her outside the room, it was stunner. Right now, she only wanted to be here.

“I’m not… I’m not happy, not anymore. It doesn’t have anything to do with Milo… or Hyde.” she sighed again, caressing Harley’s hair. “It’s me. I love New York, I love the friends I have there and the work, school, the times I travel back home, but… There’s a part of me that is lost. I miss my people too much, and I miss the way I knew what I wanted when I was here with them.”

‘With him’ was the right thing to say, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it just yet. Not out loud.

“But seeing your mother and meeting you, it made me see that none of this is over for me yet. I’m so dramatic!” she laughed, the person in her room was silent and Jackie wondered if it was Eric trying to sleep there again. “I broke up with someone and act like if my life is ending!”

Shaking her head, Jackie re-accommodate herself on Harley’s bed, hugging the girl and closing her eyes with her head on the pillow.

“Maybe this is about it, that I need to stop measuring my life under whether I’m or not in a relationship…”

In her room, the person who was making her company was getting something out of a bag. Maybe it was Milo with her stuff, maybe he was going to finally put the ring back and pretend they were still together as he had been doing since he came to the hospital.

Jackie had wanted to yell at him. She appreciated everything he was doing for her, but if he thought for a second this would make her change her mind, he didn’t know her as well as they both thought.

Something fluffy was put at her side.

Betsy’s stuffed grasshopper? That was a nice gift from Hyde, and the idea of him asking for it to be made at the _Stuffed Friends House_ make her heart go crazy inside her.

Jackie had showed him the store when they saw each other back in November. That day, he didn’t say anything, only smiled and listened to her explain how she wanted to ask for her own stuffed-something but Milo had thought she was joking when it was mentioned, so there was not stuffed-something for her.

“What I’m trying to tell you, I’m sorry I always end up doing everything about me…” she said, “You are not alone, Harley. If I stay, I will try to help you and your aunts… and if I have to go, I promise I will look out for you, baby girl.”

She raised a little on her elbows, looking at Harley’s face.

“All kids deserve a happy life and a shelter against lighting… you won’t have to think the only ones who loves you are your dolls and stuffed animals.”

Jackie kissed Harley’s forehead, like she once promised herself she would kiss her younger self if she could travel back in time, assure that little girl she will be happy one day. That she found it, she found her home and her people, her own time, and sets of arms that will never leave her, laughs and warm days with people that make her feel loved, even when it’s raining rivers outside.

“It will be fine, Harley…”

Then, she felt it. She knew that touch.

******

_September 16, 1980. Jackie and Hyde’s apartment. 10:38 pm._

She sat down, Steven was giving her his back as he dealt with the milk and put it in a cup for her. Their fingers touched when he passed it, and she smiled at him, looking into his eyes to find only that sweet devotion she used to relate to love when they were together.

He had that shine when he told her about the nurse and when he said ‘I love you’ to her for the first time, also when he said the Chicago experience had made him realize he wasn’t ready to get married yet, then his fake wife had appeared and she stopped seeing it as a sign of love.

“Thank you…” she smiled at him after a few sips.

Steven shook his head, then walked outside the kitchen and joined her at the bar.

“It’s okay, little grasshopper.”

His fingers touched her nose tenderly, just a gesture that used to make her heart go boom. And if it was happening right now, Jackie decided to ignore it for her own sake. Her feelings for Steven would only destroy her again and she was too tired to get wrecked by him once more. No matter how cute he could be alone, no matter the way he talks, looks and acts around her.

Outside, lightning and thunder left little to the imagination about how furious Mother Nature could be sometimes. But right now, the warmth of Steve’s care made her dizzy, and the memory of her parents disappeared, as that old pain finally left her.

This was the kind of effect Steven always had on her, the power to maintain her on the present and give her a brighter memory to relate to every single thing he touched around her.

“You know, roomie, we are both alone.” he smiled. “We better help each other.”

“Totally.” she answered, trying hard not to laugh.

Last time she laughed while drinking something, the liquid got out from her nose and it costed her two weeks’ worth of candy to convince Fez to not tell anyone about it. Steven? He would never, ever, shut up about it.

“Steven?”

“Uh?”

“Do you ever… I don’t know,” she sighed. This is something she wanted to ask since he spent his first night here, “miss… me?”

“Jackie, you are right here every day.”

“Don’t be a jerk—“

“Too late for that, ‘jerk’ is my middle name.” he interrupted her, Jackie understood he was running away from her question. “That’s what the J stands for.”

“I thought it was Jonathan.”

Steven snorted before laughing a little, then scratched the back of his head. “I’m actually not sure? I never truly asked. It could be any stupid thing. Even Jack.”

Jackie shook her head, eyeing him bad. He laughed again. Every day their blathering became more and more familiar, like when they were together and nothing seemed to matter but making the other laugh. It was odd.

“Alright, _Jerk_ stays then.” she said, making him smile and his blue eyes begged for her to stay that way. “Steven Jerk Hyde.” he nodded, she smiled back… But Jackie wanted her answer. “So… I am getting my answer or are we still on ‘not telling anything’ terms?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Jackie.”

“I mean if you miss me… with you.”

He was nodding again and she didn’t knew how to take that. Another lighting broke the silence and her shoulders shivered unwittingly. Jackie left the cup with the remaining of milk on the bar, not wanting to throw the thing if another lighting scared her.

“Every day.” he finally said.

Jackie looked up at him, he was looking at the ground like he usually did when he was embarrassed or too nervous to see anything on her face. She sighed.

“I don’t.” his fingers twitched on the bar; she had broken his heart, probably. “I don’t miss what we had for the last months we were together, Steven. Maybe you didn’t realize, but we were horrible. You started lying to me and I lied back, because you didn’t like who I was and what I wanted, and I just—I felt that we had an expiring date, and that scared me.”

She should be sleeping, fighting her childhood fears in her room, not here saying this crap. She shouldn’t be tormenting him with the past again. They would never go forward if she kept doing this. But there were things that needed to be said, and maybe it was now or never.

“I didn’t… I didn’t like that you broke your promises to me and let me beg you for things. It’s not funny when it’s not in bed, and when it’s for things nobody should beg their partner for…”

He still said nothing, his fingers were scratching over the wood of the bar, so she took his silence to continue.

“You didn’t care that I stopped talking to you, and when I realized I didn’t care either? I cried for three nights. And you never asked me if I was okay…”

Jackie gave two long breathes, then looked at him, waiting for some kind of reaction, but he kept scratching.

“What else?”

“Uh?” she tried to look at his face, into his eyes, but he didn’t move.

“What else you didn’t like?”

So he was using her confession to torture himself, Jackie shook her head and stand up.

“I need to sleep.”

“Jackie, you made me beg for your forgiveness after I exposed myself for something I knew I was wrong for doing.” he finally looked up, she stood there with wide open eyes. “And for your own amusement, you put me against one of my best friends, just so you could flame your ego, and spend a whole summer trying to punish me for something I already felt like crap about.”

“You cheated on me, Steven!”

“And instead of just breaking up with me and let it be, you preferred to play with me like a cat with a mouse!”

“You wanted me to take you back!” another lighting fell, Jackie crossed her arms over her chest and closed her eyes. “God, Steven! If you felt like crap, do you even imagine how I felt? This wasn’t the first time a boyfriend had go put his hands on someone that wasn’t me! I spent a long time thinking love would change a cheater and at the end, I ended up empty and broken!”

“For fuck’s sake…”

“I thought you were different! I always thought you were loyal and had like… I don’t know, honor or something.”

“Honor of something…” he laughed, walking towards the kitchen again to leave her cup in the sink. “You also stopped telling me shit, I’m not a goddamn seer. Not to mention your obsession with getting married was growing creepier every day to the point you didn’t have another conversation, of course I preferred you quiet when you got like that.”

“I couldn’t help it, Steven! You always knew what I was looking for, what my intentions with a relationship _are_! Don’t try to put it all on me.”

“At fucking 17 years old!?” and he turned off the kitchen’s light, the only light on was the one of his room, and it did just little for their eyes.

“I never asked you to marry me in that moment, the only thing I wanted was to know If you _thought_ we could be together for something sure! In the future!”

Finally, he shut up, and Jackie looked into his blue eyes for a long whole minute before his hands touched her warm cheeks, and his lips took hers.

Steven was never good with words, actions were his thing and she appreciated every time he found the way to express his feelings. The way he always kissed her was different from kiss to kiss, every day, every minute they spent together. It meant something different every time, and her tongue learned to recognize his language.

Slowly, she let the tender motion he was giving her speak volumes to her body and mind, her heart had long ago understood what was going on. In that moment, all claims and ‘maybe if we have’ stopped for her, and she hoped for him too.

“Steven…” his forehead was touching hers, their noses touching each other and their breaths colliding in the middle.

His eyes were closed, hers were open; she wondered if it meant something more than just a gesture.

“I don’t believe you.”

“What?”

“I don’t believe you don’t miss me with you.”

Like so many times before, he was right. Her fingers caressed over his sideburns and her lips kissed him once more, two and three times again, before another lighting, stronger than the ones before, make her jump in his arms and he cuddle her to his chest.

“What else?” he said again.

“Nothing…”

He nodded, then took a long mouthful of air, she felt the movement against her face, inside his chest. “I can’t believe you didn’t fight for us when Sam came here.”

Yesterday, she would have been mad at that accusation. Today, Jackie laughed and slapped his chest, getting free from his arms, walking to the coffee table of their living room and sitting there with her arms around her belly.

“I mean it.” he said. “You told me that—“

“You were the only one I would fight for.” she finished and Steven sat down in front of her, in the couch that used to be his bed when he first came here. Jackie smiled at him. “Even I know when to stop.”

“But—“

“Steven, you were _married_.” she finally said.

To be honest, she was also surprised she didn’t do anything, not even yell at him.

“Legal or not, it didn’t matter in that moment. I never felt… as rejected as I felt that day. For me, it was like hearing my mom laughing and telling me she was right all the time: you leave me for a woman that was more your type, that… looked like a woman and… not like, how’s that she said?” she pretended to try and remember, like if the reminder wasn’t there every day, “Oh, yes. A little girl’s doll.”

“That’s bullshit.” he said, his hands landed on her tights and Jackie looked at them while her fingers played with her hair desperately. “Not only your mother is crazy, but Sam had… nothing. I was stupid drunk, biggest mistake of my life.”

Jackie frowned, looking up at him again with accusatory eyes. “Then why you kept her around?”

“I wasn’t going to be Bud…”

“But you wanted me to fight for you?” she laughed then, he lowered his stare at that burn. Wow. “You are… oh god, and I’m the one with a big ego.”

“Jackie…”

“Would you let me sleep? We both have work in the morning, so…”

“Yeah, I’m my own boss and I know you don’t have work today. Listen to me…” his fingers touched her chin, gently making her look up. “Jackie, I’m done hurting, and being scared, and committing stupid errors. I don’t want it anymore, I thought it would be easier, but it _isn’t_. It’s shit, and all my life has been like that since I have memory, but when I’m with you? It’s less and less, it never stinks, is always… less of a burned to walk.”

She nodded, something on his face changed, seemed more relaxed. It almost made her not ask what was next, but she needed to.

“Is that why you started using heroine? Because I wasn’t with you? I’m your excuse to be self-destructive?”

Steven laughed at that, his fingers left her and the distance between them felt like a life time. It was cold, still too dark.

“I don’t need an excuse to be self-destructive. I just forgot for a second I kinda don’t like myself when I was with you.” he admitted, Jackie opened her eyes in surprise. He never admitted that before, he never admitted he was insecure. “Doll, you are never an excuse for anything.” then, he looked at her and moved his head to one side. “Except… you are an excuse to cuddle, maybe. And to smell good, too.”

She shook her head and took his hand. “So then, why did you that?”

“Does it matters?”

She looked up, “Yes!” tears formed in her mismatched eyes, she couldn’t help it. “Yes, it matters!”

Just the memory of him on that hospital bed was enough to send her to the edge every time.

“It hurt me seeing you like this…” she said and he squeezed her hand, looking into her eyes with too much shame, “please, _please_ stop.”

He only nodded.

******

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital, 9:09 pm._

There was a little commotion in the hallway, Donna ahead Fez and Kelso, quickly running into Forman and Bob first, Red and Hyde following.

“Hey, what is it?” Forman asked to his girl.

“Kat died, man…” Kelso announced and Donna nodded when Forman looked at her for answers. “We are just—“

“I thought maybe we could go see her family, you know?” Donna said.

“Jesus Christ…” Forman said, one hand on his forehead. “I just saw her this morning, she was fine—what the fuck?”

“Uh, guys?” Hyde finally said, only Fez looked at him as Forman talked about Kat being on Jackie’s room. Red and Bob had taken off inside the room to see the others. “You mean… Peterson? Kat Peterson?” Fez nodded. “Shit…”

“You knew she was here?” he asked, Hyde nodded while taking off his shades to squeeze between his eyes. “She and Jackie ran into each other in the bus, they were together when it happened.”

“Yeah, I just…” he sighed, fuck this all. “I saw her just a few minutes ago? Fuck, what happened?”

“She had a brain hemorrhage.” Said Donna finally looking at him, “You saw her?”

“Yeah… her room is in the hallway next to the terrace. She was there and engaged me into conversation.”

“Fuck…” she put a hand on his shoulder. “We are going to see… what we can do. You coming?”

Outing the room, Mrs. Forman smiled at him and started to walk towards their group. Brooke was talking to Milo, slowly walking to the waiting area with Bob and Red followed his wife to him. No, there was nothing for him anywhere else.

“No, man. I… I’m going to…” he signaled to the room, Donna looked at his finger’s direction, then at him with recognition in her eyes.

Squeezing his shoulder, she smiled. “It’s okay.”

Hyde nodded, his friend seemed less angry at him at least. She will be yelling at him later, probably, but at least now she let him go. She squeezed his hand when he took it for brief seconds, and then he responded to Mrs. Forman’s call, kissing her cheek as a hello.

He saw his friends leaving, Kelso still shocked by the news, telling something about how he and Brooke had seen Kat just that morning when they arrived to the hospital. It seemed like the girl, had actually the chance to see them all, even Jackie like Forman informed.

“I’m so happy to see you here, Steven. I was worried you weren’t going to show up.” Mrs. Forman said and once more, Hyde felt like shit.

That much of an asshole everyone considered him?

“Yeah, I was just… I had to take care of something before coming, is all.”

“It’s okay.” She smiled, kissing his cheek again. “You are here now, honey.” And Red nodded, when she looked at him, Hyde smiled to Mrs. Forman. “Are you… do you want to see her?”

Swallowing hard, he nodded. “Yeah…”

His shades were hooked on his shirt’s collar, Mrs. Forman could probably tell he was a little upset with the idea. But he needed to do this, man.

“Do you want to be alone, or…?”

“It will be only a second, Mrs. Forman.”

Alone.

His surrogated mother smiled at him, squeezing his shoulder before letting him go like she always did when he make his own decisions, and Hyde finally walked over the room, passing that door with a firm grip and stepping in looking secure of himself and the ground under his feet.

Even with a parted lip, a bruised forehead and purple marks on her arms and collarbone, Jackie was beautiful while sleeping. Hyde swallowed again, closing the door behind him and walking inside without taking his eyes off her, her sleeping frame always so calm and tender.

For the first time, he didn’t like seeing her with her eyes closed and her respiration just a murmur helped by devices that shadowed her features. No, Jackie definitely wouldn’t like this.

Trying to not make a sound, like if it could actually disturb this beautiful girl laying on that bed, he moved around searching for the bag he told Forman to grab with him and a chair to sit near her.

Every three steps, he looked up at her, then back at his objective until he found the bag and that chair, and put his ass to rest at her side.

Years ago, she did the same.

She sat down, took his hand and watched over his sleep until he was good enough to go back home, to the place he was kicked out after he had to open his big mouth, and then, she gave him a place to crash. Like always, she became his shelter.

Now she was here, too quiet, too still. Beautiful as he remembers, but not as much as when her big eyes look at him and her smile brighten that doll face of hers.

Hyde took out the little gift he had for her. He told Izzy to go for it and send the thing to his apartment in Kenosha, it had arrived just a week ago, and he thought it was going to be a good Christmas’ gift.

He had got Fez for the secret Santa shit, but even during their worst moments, Jackie always got him something for Christmas and this year, he got something for her even when they weren’t as close as before.

Back when they were together, he would have laughed to his own face if he had agreed to buy her this.

She deserved all the gifts she wanted, and he tried to give her as many as he could when the time was right, and it always made her incredible happy; no matter what he got her, what he did for her sometimes, what he decided to give her that used to belong to him.

But a stuffed animal? Not his style, but hers. So yes, she now was getting a stuffed animal from him.

A stuffed grasshopper like Betsy’s.

Putting it near her body, he wondered what her reaction would be.

She would probably love it, no matter what. But what it meant, the name he used to call her as they laid on his cot or the flat of the El Camino covered in sheets from home, stupid laughs followed by sweeter kisses.

Maybe she would slap him, maybe she would just not accept it. But right now, it made her company and adorned her bed. Mr. Green had a brother, and it belonged to Jackie now.

Looking at her like this, he understood the despair she expressed when she asked him to stop torturing himself in 1980. He took her hand, slowly moved towards it and kissed it for long seconds, eyes closed, and a cold wind on his back.

“Hey...” his voice sounded harsh, and he ignored the way his fingers were shivering and his throat asked for smoke. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jackie doesn’t know how to truly react to her new visitor and the way things are going on her room, then he’s gone and someone else reminds her she has another option and all of her decisions will be respected. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	8. No Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie doesn’t know how to truly react to her new visitor and the way things are going on her room, then he’s gone and someone else reminds her she has another option and all of her decisions will be respected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating late again, I'm SO sorry! It's almost Día de los Muertos in Mexico and that means: lots and lots of parties and so. Today one of my cousins did one and I spend all day with my mother, buying stuff for our little Halloween party for my nephew and nieces.
> 
> ... And now, you all will kill me. Next week I won't be able to update, I'll be updating until tuesday the 8th. Friday 4th I'm going out the city to my family's ranch, saturday 5th is my brother's surprise party and sunday 6th I have work to do in the ranch. Then, the 7th is my brother's actual birthday and I have plans with him. So it will have to be until the 8th, I'm sorry!
> 
> I hope you all like this chapter though. The first scene I ever wrote for this fanfic is in this chapter, extra love for the one who finds out which one is (Prissy, you already know!). Also, thank you SO much to the ones who left a comment in the lastest chapter and for not killing me with that ending, lol. It's awesome to read your opinions. Thanks!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/152174002975/heart-like-yours-chapter-vii-the-cursed) to support me! Thank you! Enjoy your lecture!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter VIII – No Words**

_November 14, 1982. Grandma Izzy’s house, New York City. 7:04 pm._

“Fuck.” he said and Angie smiled. “No way. No.”

“Oh yes, little brother.” she answered, leaving the black suit with its red and black tie on his bed. The grin on her face told him everything, he was screwed. “You lost the bet, man. It’s only fair!”

“No, it’s not. It was a stupid bet in the first place and you know it.”

“Ooooh…” she exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Someone is being a chicken!”

“God fucking dammit, _Ange_.” he said, squeezing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I can’t believe this… I can’t fucking believe this…”

“Hey…” she patted his shoulder in mocking sympathy, “you are the one who didn’t put in the, at least, minimum effort on getting a date. Sooooooooooo…” she took the suit again and showed it in the light, it shone like laughing on his face, “your suit awaits you!”

Someone knocked on the door before he could reply, Hyde walked towards the door and when he opened, their grandmother was smiling at him with a little box on her hands. “I heard someone is wearing a suit tonight?”

“… No.” he answered.

“Oh, but you’ll look fantastic! Let your old grandma in, son.”

Hyde moved, just a year and a half ago he didn’t knew about this woman, and now she was handling him as if they’ve been together all his life. But this old lady was awesome, man, that was the problem. If WB knew about music, grandma Izzy had invented it.

“This is the suit?”

“Yup!” Angie answered, handing her grandmother the black suit Hyde was condemned to use for tonight. “It was a fair bet, he didn’t want dad and I to find him a date for tonight, so we told him to do it by himself. Did he move a finger for it? Nah.”

Izzy was laughing while Angie continued her story, Hyde shook his head. These two women will be the death of him.

“So we told him, if he didn’t get a date, he was wearing a suit. Dad chose it!”

“Come here, Stevie.”

“Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there, Izzy.” Hyde said as he walked towards his grandmother with one arched eyebrow, “None of that ‘Stevie’ shit, not me.”

“Look at him, Angie: all a man. Too manly for granny’s nicknames.”

“Izzy, please…”

The woman smiled at him, Angie was laughing behind her and Hyde sighed, knowing there wasn’t a way to win any arguments with the older woman. She then looked at the suit over his body and approved of it, so he went directly to get a shower and accept tonight’s condemn.

He didn’t need a date or a suit for that matter. In fact, he didn’t need to be here tonight, if it wasn’t because Izzy insisted, he would have passed of this particular inauguration and stayed in Kenosha. Instead, he was trapped in New York, knowing he was seeing the same sky and stars certain petite brunette was living under.

“When you are ready for us, let me know, _Stevie_!” Izzy yelled outside the bathroom’s door and Hyde rolled his eyes. “And don’t roll those pretty blues to your grandmother, kid!”

“What—“ better not to ask, Hyde looked at himself in the mirror and decided he wasn’t questioning Izzy’s ability to know everything. If Mrs. Forman’s magic ways of always knowing were creepy, Izzy’s were God’s power on Earth.

He looked at his reflection on Izzy’s mirror and sighed.

The fly to the city was tiresome, he was completely wrecked. Forman and Donna had distracted him too much the night before; dinner day at The Formans’ was usually him and the married couple, but from time to time, Forman would show up with Donna, and Bob would get into the house too.

Nights like those became a goddamn party, with Red and Bob discussing something the later didn’t truly understand, Mrs. Forman laughing about everything, and Donna unable to stop talking about how amazing she was doing on her career. Later, he would go into the old basement with his friends and enjoy their time alone.

“Stevie, your dad is ready!”

“Okay, I’ll see them at the store!”

“You sure?”

“Yeah!”

This way, he won’t be during the inauguration, which meant he won’t have to deal with whiskey and cheers. Tonight—not tonight.

After hearing WB and Angie leave, he finally shaved and caressed his own clean cheeks with his fingers full of aftershave lotion. The smell bothered him nowdays and realizing it had been ever worse than the annoying feeling itself.

_‘Can I help you there?’_

_‘Uh, how?’_

_‘I want to do it. You trust me, right? I’m going to shave you!’_

_‘Why?’_

_‘I want to do it, Steven.’_

His eyes looked up to themselves in the mirror as music filled his ears, Izzy had put a record. Her house, for what he had learned recently, was always blasting something at any and every hour. It was nice to be surrounded by ‘Presence of the Lord’, fitting.

Putting on WB’s selected clothes was easy, quick, and Izzy entered the room once he called. She was always happy to have him near her, what with only having Angie for a long time. Having another grandchild had been a dream come true for her, and after the way they connected so easily, it was even better.

“Now, I know you hate wearing a monkey’s suit,” she started, taking the little box she had brought earlier, “so I thought maybe you could use something that would remind everyone who you are…”

“What does that even mean, Izzy?” he took the open box, looking at her gift. “Woah… where did you got these?”

A pair of skull cufflinks with a matching skull tie clip, and a damn skull pin. He has seen WB use this kind of stuff, but never like… _these_. The skulls shone bright like his grandmother’s smile when she realized he was digging her gift.

“I asked a friend for them.”

“You asked for these to be made?” she nodded, the excitement on her face was making him blush, “For me?”

“Of course, silly! Now, let me help you. I’m almost sure you don’t even know how to use them!”

“Christ…”

Izzy smiled at him, so he only offered his hands and she started to fix his sleeves until they were ready to get pinned. She took one of the skull cufflinks, fitting it strong enough to not get messy, but lose enough for him to not feel trapped. Doing the same with the other one, Hyde looked at the silver of both skulls and the way they looked against the black of his expensive suit.

“Now, the lap pin…” he looked up, his grandmother had the thing in her hand and was preparing it to be used. “I just thought they would help you feel comfortable. I know why you do this, Stevie. You fill yourself with work so you won’t feel that call, I understand that…”

He only nodded. Izzy’s second husband, Ethan, had problems similar to Hyde’s, and she had helped him a lot. Maybe that’s why Izzy had connected so deep with him: he reminded her of her junkie husband, and she wanted to help him out.

 _‘You are too young to be this deep in shit, son’_ had been one of the first real things she told him and ever since, she always made him feel useful at her home and welcomed at the same time. She called him, listened to him, spoiled him like only a grandmother could.

Hyde was sure Izzy and Mrs. Forman would like each other a lot.

He ended putting the tie clip himself, letting Izzy smooth the area where she had put the pin and he had buttoned the jacket.

“I’m proud of you, though.” Izzy smiled at him. “Look at you, how handsome you are…”

“Stop.”

“Awww, my baby boy gets blushed when granny compliments him!”

“Izzy. Stop.”

But Izzy decided to do just the contrary, squeezing his cheeks until they were red and he was _pouting_. If any of his friends ever knew about this, he would have to kill them all.

“Although, son…” she started as he applied lotion before leaving. “You should have called her, you know?”

“Izzy…” that was the only real problem with Izzy. “She is marrying someone else, _you know_?” she always knew what to say to make him lower his walls.

She always knew who to bring in the table.

“Oh, I know. You never stop talking about it.” and before he could say anything else, she kept on. “It’s been a while, so maybe you two could be _friends_. Or you could try and finally close that part of your life.”

“There is no closing with her, Izzy.”

“Why?”

“Because… if I close it, it will be dark again.” he looked at his grandmother, she only nodded with a sad smile. “I need it open, so she can keep lighting it. Like the sun, she better be far. Or I will burn.”

******

_December 3, 1982. Jackie’s room, Point Place General Hospital. 09:02 pm._

Hyde’s kiss was one of the warmest touches her body has ever felt.

Delicate, careful, respectful. It was the first gentle touch a man ever lay on her body as a lover when she was younger, like a dream come true with its perfection. Jackie had memorized the feeling of it, just like the common image of it, too. And other details.

His masculine scent of smoke and wood, his aftershave cologne she was once obsessed with. The slightly wet feeling of his lips and breathe over her skin, the goosebumps that followed his actions, all running through her body until her cheeks felt warm, and the pulse between her legs asked for more, more of that love.

“Hey...” he said, Jackie stepped forward behind him as he looked at her body. “Sorry I’m late.”

While in Harley’s room, she had felt his touch and then his kiss.

The moment her heart beat faster, she had only closed her eyes and suddenly, she was laying on her bed, at her body’s side. Seeing his tired face, his concerned expression, the way he was taking her hand between his and his lips. Too much.

“Jerk.”

Yet, she still couldn’t believe how much it took him to show up. This was her, and this was the man that just a few weeks ago wanted to kiss her and looked at her in a way no friend should look at his friend who is getting married to another person. And he had hung up the phone, taken forever to go see her.

“You are such a jerk!” she said again, his silence wasn’t helping either and tears were following her words. “Donna and Eric have been here since I came, even when they are _days_ from their wedding! Mr. and Mrs. Forman didn’t sleep just in case something happened to me and the hospital needed something from them. Just. In. Case., _Steven_!”

Jackie closed her eyes, the taste of his name made her lose her balance for a second and her hands grabbed at the bed. Slowly, she looked up at him. _Hyde_ looked somehow defeated, and she knew he had been smoking.

Not because she could smell it, hell, that was one of the things her new condition didn’t allow unless the person was right on her nose. And with all those things on her face? Impossible.

She knew because his lips were dry. He never licked them after smoking, he didn’t like the sensation and smell of it on his lips. _‘That’s why no girl would kiss you’_ , had been his first excuse. _‘That’s why you won’t kiss me’_ , was the real one.

Why wasn’t he talking, though? All their friends had told her _whatever_.

“Say something…”

Fez hadn’t stop telling her how much he had missed her, how much he wanted to gossip and bitch with her once she wake up, and how excited he was to style her and Donna for the wedding.

Brooke even put Jackie’s hand over her belly so she could feel baby Kelso saying ‘hi’, Betsy had sung to her with her father. Even Eric and Mr. Forman said something, why Hyde couldn’t just maybe wish her to get well soon?

He moved again, the warmth of his hand never left her and it was making her feel dizzy. His fingers interwove with hers and his lips touched her hand again, and again, then a third time and he left her hand under the bed sheets to stand up, almost running to the door.

“Hyde?”

That was it. Outside’s light illuminated her face, both on this invisible form and her body, and then it disappeared with him. He left.

“What…?” her mouth opened then closed, she wanted to scream but it seemed like her soul didn’t had energy for that.

Jackie sat down on her bed, hugging herself before starting to cry for the third time today. It all looked surreal, the eternal sensation of being on bed even as she walked around and saw other people, wearing the same clothes and no shoes all the time, everyone suddenly showing they cared about her. It was all…

“Ugh,” she laughed even between sobs, “seems like the only thing in place is Hyde not talking.”

The door opened again and Jackie jumped to her feet, ready for the man himself again but this time, the light showed her no other but Mr. Forman. She sat down slowly again as he closed the door, probably only waiting for his wife to come, but it didn’t happen.

Instead, Mr. Forman sat on the chair Hyde had left at her side and looked at her sleeping form, sighing before closing his eyes.

“Kitty says there is a big chance you can hear us and she is too busy spoiling that dumbass ex-boyfriend of yours, they will go to—“

“Oh, God!” Jackie exclaimed, “Kick his ass, Mr. Forman! He deserves it!”

“Your friend just died, girl.” he said, Jackie nodded and swallowed, the hard knot on her throat hadn’t left her. “And her little girl is still asleep like you, her poor aunts are devastated. Kitty is going with them and your other moron friends.”

Jackie smiled a little. Another thing in place.

“Everyone is waiting for you to open that big mouth again.”

“Hey!”

“You know how the silence doesn’t suit anywhere when you all are here, _especially_ you.” he said, then sighed. “But… listen, Loud One. This, right now, is hard. If something else is wrong when you wake up, everyone will be there for you. Kitty always says part of the job is in the patient’s hands, so…”

Whatever Mr. Forman wanted to say, Jackie wasn’t sure she was ready to hear it. The man struggled just to say it out load. Him, who always knew what to say in the worst of the moments and was firm and hard when the times needed him to be.

She had admired that from afar, never saying out load and only nodding when she got orders from him to help with something. Helping and working wasn’t her favorite things back then, but Mr. Forman always seemed to know how to approach her.

 _‘Take this and put it there’_ , _‘Well, seems like you are the only one that isn’t useless around here’_.

Little things that make felt appreciated; if after the job she got to eat a especial sandwich from Mrs. Forman, it was just one little thing more to add to her ‘happy moments’ bag she has been carrying since she was little and had understood her parents wouldn’t put attention to her unless she had a big, green paper with material favors to offer.

“If you think it has been enough,” he started and Jackie closed her eyes, “and to wake up could be worse for you, for whatever reason… then know is okay.”

Jackie looked up, remembering what she heard just earlier in the waiting room. Mrs. Forman had said it herself, the longest she kept sleeping, the more possibilities of something going wrong when she wakes up were.

Until now, Jackie didn’t mind it. These kind of things doesn’t happen to people like her. But she was standing in the same room where her material body slept, listening to the most stoic of the men giving her green light on her second option because nobody else will admit she has it.

These things _happened_ to people like her, and Kat, and Harley.

“Your friends will be sad, but is okay. If that’s what you want, it’s fine, kiddo.”

That’s reality.

“If you want to fight, that’s also okay. Whatever you want at the end, it’s fine.”

Suddenly, Jackie realized this was the first time in months someone told her how valid and real her decisions were. For months, everything she did was the result of listening to other people around her. Like going out that night, if it wasn’t for Milo, she—

It didn’t matter now.

“Thank you, Mr. Forman…”

******

_January 18, 1982. The Formans’ kitchen. 8:29 pm._

Mrs. Forman smiled at her while she dried the dishes they used for dinner tonight. It was such a warm thing to do for her, Jackie never imagined she could actually like to do chores like these and here she is.

Discovering had costed her losing a couple of stupid games with Fez, back when they lived together. She was sure her friend had cheated almost all the time, but never found a way to prove it, so she ended washing the dishes at night or cleaning their living room.

Surprised, she recognized the comfort of a clean place and the cozy feeling of knowing you did that, and that home belongs to you.

Cleaning the dishes with Mrs. Forman was like her younger self’s dream come true: being useful to her mother, even if in reality it was someone else’s mother, she still felt like it mattered.

This family, maybe at first thanks to Hyde and Donna, had took her when none of her parents wanted her, and that was something she will always feel grateful for.

“It’s so good to have you two here, honey. Now that you are leaving us, we’ll miss you during dinner days! We have to take every chance to enjoy you before you leave.” the woman said.

“Oh, I will miss your dinners just as much, Mrs. Forman!” she confessed, and it was truth.

Milo’s mom was an excellent cooker and his family had welcomed her just fine, with the exception of his creepy grandfather, but it wasn’t the same. Moving with him to New York, that had been a hard decision but also an easy one, all at the same time.

When she gave the older woman the news, Jackie wasn’t surprised of her reaction. She didn’t want any other of the kids she considered hers to go, now the only one near them was Hyde and yet, he lived in Kenosha.

Everyone was moving forward, they were adults at the end of the day. Or trying to be.

She still had a few months before moving in the summer, but Mrs. Forman had decided she needed to spend her time near them so they wouldn’t miss her that much once she moved. Yet, Jackie could tell she was happy for her. Mostly because Milo was a good man and she approved of him perfectly. She, Eric and Donna were the only ones.

Hyde, Eric and Betsy entered the house with snow on their hair. She saw her ex-boyfriend cleaning the little girl from the corner of her eye. He never showed any discomfort for Milo, but she knew better. Hyde was polite to him, at that was about it.

“How was that snow, boys? Any flu coming soon?”

“Hopefully, my stress will scare the flu away, mom.” Eric answered and Jackie nodded, college can have that effect on you. “But I’m a little concerned for our young lady right here. What do you say, Hyde?”

“I say… we don’t speak a word to mom and dad about our little battle outside, right?” he said, one finger over Betsy’s lips and the girl nodded.

Jackie smiled at it, Hyde was so good with Betsy, she wondered if he even noticed it. “You know, Brooke will probably find out anyway, she always knows.”

“Shhh…” Betsy exclaimed, doing the signal of silence with her own fingers at Jackie and Mrs. Forman laughed loudly, making the girl laugh too.

“So, Jackie…” Eric started with that knowing tone that make her roll her eyes. In fact, she did and saw Hyde smile at it while sitting up with Betsy on his lap, “are you getting married or what?”

“ _WHAT?_ ” Mrs. Forman and Hyde said.

Eric put his hands up with an over joyed expression. “I’m just repeating what I hear in the Teacher’s room.”

“Ugh, Maggie…” Milo’s little sister, a teacher at Eric’s school where he worked as a substitute for when someone didn’t show up. “No, we just—talked about it, it’s all.”

“Really?” Eric said, elbows at the end of the kitchen’s bar as Mrs. Forman finished with the dishes and she dried the last one. “Because Maggie sounded pretty sure about it. And, weren’t you and my _fiancé_ ” the way he said the word, Jackie rolled her eyes again. This moron… “playing with wedding planners just a few days ago?”

Jackie bit her bottom lip, she was going to kill Maggie. “You know, for such a skinny guy, you sure are full of shit.”

“Ah!” Betsy exclaimed and Jackie put a hand over her own lips, Eric and Hyde were already laughing. “God-daddy, god-mommy said a bad word!”

“She did, she’s such a bad girl…” he answered, Jackie felt her throat getting dry and, thankfully, Milo entered the kitchen in that moment.

“Harrington!” Eric said and Jackie shook her head, “When are you proposing?”

“That’s…” he laughed, his face getting red as his arms wrapped around her waist from behind, “an appropriate theme to treat in front my girlfriend.”

“Jesus…” Hyde murmured when he took one of Mrs. Forman’s new crystal glasses, he looked at the woman after feeling the material with his palm. “What are these made of? Paper?”

“Right, honey?” she said, Jackie smiled at the feeling of the wedding theme getting dropped. A whole new feeling. “Try not to use them much, I don’t want anyone getting hurt. I know you all have a thing for dropping things or grabbing stuff to hard.” she laughed again and Milo did, too. He enjoyed hearing Mrs. Forman’s laugh a lot.

“Man, Red must hate these.” Hyde said to no one in particular, moving to get some water for him and Betsy. “He can’t get pissed and grab his glass at the table.”

“See?” Eric said, signaling the glass, “The anti-Red seeing red, behold its power!”

Milo laughed again, this time kissing her head before walking towards Eric. “Man, weren’t you about to show me that comic books collection?”

“Eww, not this again!” Jackie sighed. Milo’s only imperfection was that, his strange fixation with collecting comic books. He didn’t read them, only buy them and put them into too big bookshelves. “If you are touching those, you better clean your hands good before touching me again. I don’t trust anything under Eric’s bed.”

“Ha-ha.” Eric exclaimed, guiding Milo outside the kitchen and to his old room.

Mrs. Forman was laughing again, but this time it sounded full of love. It make her smile as Hyde passed them and sat down with Betsy once more.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Mrs. Forman asked, Jackie smiled at her. “Oh, I see that smile… you looove him.”

She laughed now, her cheeks were probably red by now and Betsy’s little giggle wasn’t helping at all. “Yeah… I’m in love with Milo, Mrs. Forman.” she informed, “And he loves me, too.”

“Oh, honey. I’m so gla—“

A ‘pop’ sound interrupted her, followed by a hiss that couldn’t be other than Hyde. Jackie looked back at him and Betsy immediately.

“God-daddy, your hand!”

It was bleeding.

“Steven!” Mrs. Forman said, quickly running to help him.

“It was my fault!” Betsy said fast, looking at the older woman with frightened eyes. “The glass almost fell and god-daddy stopped it! It’s made of glass paper, Miss Kitty!”

Jackie looked at the blood first, then at Betsy standing on the chair as Mrs. Forman moved to clean the glass that was now in the table and the floor, water dropping to it slowly, like tears. Hyde was walking towards her, to the sink and she moved aside.

“Are you alright?”

He didn’t answer.

“Hyde?”

“It’s ok.”

When she finally had the chance to see his face, he looked away and, for a second, the glass falling from Hyde’s fingers to then be taken with such force as she spoke seemed a better answer.

“I’m great.” he said again. “Don’t worry about me.”

******

_December 3, 1982. Point Place General Hospital. 09:10 pm._

Mrs. Forman was waiting for him when he left that room, or that’s what he thought at least. Red didn’t even look at him, he passed Hyde without a word and entered the room, probably to wait for his wife who was now walking towards him with a small smile.

“How are you, sweetheart?”

“Tired.” he admitted. “Driving here was hard, weather is not helping the traffic and everyone is leaving for the season. That and I just… cancelled a little business trip with Angie.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, honey.”

“Don’t be, Mrs. Forman. I’m glad I answered the phone in the morning, we were just leaving.” he smiled, mostly because he had made Mrs. Forman smile. “You look tired, too. Forman told me you were going to get some rest back at the house, what happened?”

“Oh, I couldn’t sleep any!” she sat down on the waiting area, Hyde followed without complain. “Everything is upside down on here. Everyone is so nervous, Donna has been a little too sensitive, worried with the wedding. She wants to cancel it until we have better news about Jackie!”

Hyde thought of it, and of his friend, how he saw her earlier. She looked just like all of them, too dizzy in her own worry. Generally, Donna would stay calm in situations like this, but right now? She was a ball of nervousness and tears. He hadn’t talk much with her yet, but her eyes were red since he came and her face hadn’t change much since then too. Something was off place.

“It’s understandable…” he added. “Jackie is her bridesmaid, right? And her best friend, so—“

“But she will be fine! Okay, she has a few broken ribs and a fracture on her leg, but she will be able to be there once she’s awake! I don’t think Jackie would like her canceling the wedding—again!”

 “I don’t think it would happen, Mrs. Forman.” he assured her, even if he didn’t think so. It wasn’t his place to have a word on that, anyway. “What has Forman said?”

“I don’t think they have talked about it…” she said, looking even more worried now. “I mean, of course she told him something this morning, but it doesn’t seems to me that they have sat down to discuss it.” she explained, “I don’t think Donna is telling him anything, actually.”

“Uh?”

She shook her head, shaking slowly one hand near his face to dismiss the thing. “Just my crazy ideas, Steven.” she said, “But I’ve been thinking… there is something going on with Donna.” she looked at him before he could say anything to that. “Is nothing bad, though. But I can’t help it, maybe there is something she doesn’t want to tell us right now? About Jackie? Or the wedding?”

Hyde thought about it. Something about Jackie… maybe. But it wasn’t his place to say anything for the time being, not with Milo around either and Jackie not able to talk for herself. He will have to talk to Donna, see what she knows.

“Maybe she’s just freaking out for the wedding, Mrs. Forman.” Hyde smiled at her. “Don’t all chicks get too emotional before their weddings? Even Donna.”

Mrs. Forman laughed happily at that, it sounded honest at least. “Oh, maybe it’s that! And she doesn’t want to say anything for how things are with Jackie! Oh!” she stand up, like if the revelation had pushed her out the chair. “Oh, poor thing! She doesn’t have Jackie to talk about any of that, it must be that!”

“Yeah, Jackie is the expert in…” _bitching_ was the word he was searching for, but he smiled, “having strong opinions about freaking out.”

She laughed again, it made his chest feel less heavy. “She must miss her so much. I miss her so much!”

“Uh, Mrs. Forman, she’s here.” Hyde quickly said, he didn’t like the implications of that. “Just sleeping.”

The woman looked at him with sweet eyes, her smile warm on her tired face, a mother’s stare. She caressed his cheek a few seconds until the door of the room opened and Red came out looking somber. His heart raised for a second, but the man’s calm gave him any answers he were seeking for.

“Everything alright, Red?”

“Of course, Kitty.” he answered, then sat down to Mrs. Forman’s other side. “Just talking to the Loud One.”

Her smile light up, and her hand took Red’s. “That’s a good thing, Red.”

“Who knows? We’ll never know if she truly hears us, Kitty.”

“Maybe. But it’s a good thing for us, too.”

Red looked at her, he nodded and smiled. “For these kids, probably. They are all too nervous.” he sighed and, for the first time, looked at him. Hyde swallowed and looked away; ever since that discussion, he couldn’t maintain the man’s stare. “How are you doing, son?”

He only nodded. “Fine.”

“You look like shit.”

“Red!”

Hyde laughed a little. Damn these Formans. “Yeah, well… kinda feel like crap.”

“You talked to her?” he said, Mrs. Forman looked at him and he just shook his head. “You should.”

Probably.

******

_09:50 pm._

Just when Jackie decided to go back Harley’s room, Milo and Brooke returned from god knows where. He was carrying Jess, while Betsy ran into Hyde’s arms the moment she saw him when she and her mother rounded the corner of the hallway.

She stood up like Hyde, who was now carrying Betsy telling him about how a good boy Mr. Green has been, and saw the moment Milo’s expression hardened when their eyes met.

They were a lot alike in this, they both had terrible tempers. She knew this perfectly. The difference was that Hyde found it easier to be polite somehow, while Milo couldn’t help but work to act polite around people he didn’t like. Seeing them together has always been tense.

“Have you seen her?” Milo asked, Hyde nodded. “I’m glad.” he smiled, then looked at Mrs. Forman, “I just talked to someone at the nurse’s station, they said we can keep filling Jackie’s room with people as long as we keep it quiet.”

Mrs. Forman clapped in excitement. “That’s great news! So many people is here, it feels like home! Jackie would love that.”

She nodded. Mrs. Forman always got her well, somehow. Hyde moved at her side, sitting back and to her surprise, Milo followed.

Looking at them sitting one at the other’s side was weird. Betsy engagement both into a conversation about her stuffed grasshopper and how her grandmother had promised to make a dress for him.

“But boys don’t wear dresses, Betsy.” Hyde suggested, she frowned sitting on his lap.

“He is not a _boy_ , it’s a _grasshopper_!” she said. For a second he seemed to think about it, then nodded. “And the dress is blue!”

“Alright, that’s… a great fashion choice.” Milo smiled and Betsy smiled at him, too.

“Betsy, let’s go get your daddy.” Brooke said in front of them, Jackie was sitting at Milo’s side listening to everything, not yet ready to leave again and risking seeing her friends or Kat’s aunts. “We have to go with grandma to sleep.”

“But god-mommy hasn’t wake up yet!” Betsy said, Hyde’s fingers went into a fist and both, Jackie and Milo, noticed.

“We’ll come back tomorrow, baby.”

“But—“ she looked first at Hyde, then at Milo, and finally to her sleeping brother on Brooke’s arms. “Why hasn’t god-mommy wake up, mama?”

“She’s really tired right now, sweetie.” Mrs. Forman saved Brooke from a long, confusing explanation. Jackie sighed. “But she’ll be with us soon.”

“Is she gonna die like your friend?”

Jackie’s heart felt heavy, she wondered if it was beating fast on her body. Betsy looked terrified, her nose was getting red and her eyes were wet already.

“I don’t want god-mommy to die!” she said, everyone moved to comfort her, including Jackie. “Mama? God-mommy can’t die!”

“She’s not—“ Brooke tried, she was carrying Jess and it made it difficult for her to try and reach her daughter. Milo got the memo, and offered his arms to the mother. “Thank you…” she said as she passed Jess to him, Jackie was already at Betsy’s other side. “Betsy, your godmother is not going to die, baby.”

“Then why is she sleeping so much?”

“So she can heal faster, kid.” Hyde answered, both Betsy and Jackie looked at him. The girl was still sitting on his lap, he was still holding her with one hand on her waist. “She’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”

Her eyes were filled with unlashed tears, Hyde dried the only one that escaped and smiled at the little girl the moment Jackie hugged her without the girl noticing.

“You go to sleep calm, maybe she will be up by morning. Or later at night. But she will wake up soon, don’t worry.”

“Promise?” she asked in a tiny voice, Hyde nodded, letting Brooke hug her.

“Baby girl…” Brooke murmured on Betsy’s hair. “Jackie will be fine, it’s okay.”

Jackie hugged them both. Of all the times she wished people around her would show her if they cared about what happened to her more often, she never thought of how difficult and hard it would be to watch them suffer because of it.

This wasn’t what she had fantasized.

She just wanted to wake up.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: There’s something Hyde owes Jackie months before the accident, and a phone call that started everything. And in the present, a long, slow, too revealing conversation between old friends.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	9. Know That I'm Here, Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s something Hyde owes Jackie months before the accident, and a phone call that started everything. And in the present, a long, slow, too revealing conversation between old friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brother's birthday celebration and day went by awesome until I had to come back to reality and be responsible adult. I'm sorry for the late update. Also, on today's "I'm going to kiss your ass until the end of time"'s note: Thank you SO much to GreenAndZen for your help with this chapter! And I hope you get well very soon.
> 
> So, on today's suffering-- I mean, chapter, there's a song that... doesn't belong. But needed to be, becaise it gave its title to this fic (and a corny ending to the movie of the book I based the ghost idea on). It's 'Heart Like Yours' by (a fake bad, everyone!) and you all should listen to it and cry.
> 
> In other good news: I finished the fanfic. We’ll have 21 chapters for it :)!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter (that is super important and I love)!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/152975092085/heart-like-yours-chapter-ix-know-that-im-here) to support me! Thank you! Enjoy your lecture!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter IX -- Know That I'm Here, Waiting**

_December 03, 1982. Jackie’s Room. 10:21 pm._

Little after the Kelsos left, Mr. Forman had suggested to get going too. His wife and Fez needed to rest, her friend had been staying with them, since this year, it was Bob’s turn to have Donna and Eric over at his place, even when in a few days they were going to be off to their honeymoon.

At first, both Fez and Mrs. Forman had said no. They wanted to stay in case something else happened and Jackie didn’t stay near them to hear what that could be, she followed Donna and Milo who were getting some coffee and talking about his latest editorial that went perfectly as planned. They always had a good relationship.

Soon, she found them sitting near her body as Eric and Hyde talked in the farthest corner of her room. She could go with them, find out what they talked in private, but it felt futile somehow and Jackie ended up just waiting for them all to go, have some rest.

“We’ll come back first thing in the morning.” Mrs. Forman said to Bob and Donna, “Are you sure you want to stay, honey? You haven’t slept almost at all.”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Forman.” Donna answered and Eric put an arm around her waist. “I’ll sleep here later. I already have dibs on the blue couch.” she signaled the couch where everyone seemed to want to sit in. Jackie wondered if it was that comfy.

“Well, then… I’ll see you in the morning.” they hugged for long seconds, like as if Donna pleaded to be held by Mrs. Forman and Jackie recognized that feeling.

Yes, she wanted to be hugged by her at that moment. Mrs. Forman had that missing thing in her life. Hyde once put a name on it: motherly hands. We all need a hug from our mothers.

Hyde, Donna, Fez and she didn’t have one. And this one meant the world to them in that matter. Yes, she understood her friend and smiled a little as she wondered if Harley’s aunts would provide her of that. Another girl has lost her mother, and yet— Life kept its rhythm, like if this wasn’t a tragedy.

“Steven, are you staying?”

“Ah…” he looked first at Eric, he shrugged. Then at Milo, and he maintained the contact without any sign of absolutely anything, not a good thing but also not a bad one either. “Just a few minutes, then I’m going.”

Mrs. Forman frowned, “Where?”

Hyde shrugged.

Right, he lived in Kenosha. Was he thinking on driving all the way back there, at this hour of the night? Jackie pulled at Milo’s arm, it didn’t move even a little, but she hoped he could get the clue.

“Honey, you can go home if you want. Laurie’s room was going to be used by Jackie, but for the time being, you can stay there.”

All eyes went directly to Mr. Forman after that, the man wasn’t even looking at his wife. He was just standing near the door, his and Mrs. Forman’s coats under his arm and eyes fixed in the floor. Hyde smiled at her.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine.”

“But honey—“

“Don’t be dumber than you look and listen to Kitty for once.” Mr. Forman said suddenly, Jackie smiled putting a hand over her chest. “There’s a damn bed in the house and you can’t drive your ass back to Kenosha in this weather and at this hour. We are going to the same place in the morning anyway.”

Mr. Forman was now looking at Ste—Hyde. HYDE. At Hyde, and he seemed shy while swallowing, then nodding and lowering his eyes to his hands on his lap. Baby steps, baby steps.

“Alright then!” Mrs. Forman sounded as alive as ever, it made Jackie smile even wider. At least something good was coming from all this for them. She owed them so much. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Donna, Eric, get some sleep. And Milo, darling, call us if something happens. Good, not so good. Anything.”

Smiling at her, Milo nodded and took Mrs. Forman hand that was on his cheek, in both of his. After Donna, Mrs. Forman was the only one of her… family, who truly liked and accepted Milo. Bob and Mr. Forman tolerated him, respected him for being who he was in her life. Everyone else couldn’t just seem to really accept him, not even Fez.

“Thanks for everything, Kitty. Jackie is lucky to have you.” he looked around him, approaching everyone in the room, “She is lucky to have you all. Thank you.”

Donna smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder, Jackie nodded in agreement.

******

_December 04, 1982. Point Place General Hospital’s Smoking Area. 00:13 am._

A couple of minutes had become hours, and when the clock struck midnight, Donna had basically passed out on the blue couch next to Jackie’s bed. Hyde, seeing Milo wasn’t leaving Jackie’s side either, had decided to get some grey air again and Forman just followed behind like a puppy, like old days.

It had been a while since they had this much of time alone. When his friend left for Madison, promises had been made about making visits and never losing contact. Then, he started to work and Forman began to teach, and life just went by without looking back at the kids they once were.

Having his friend at his side, actually taking a cigarette, even when he didn’t smoke, like Donna, Kelso and he did, was nice.

Seeing Jackie like this, on bed and without sign of actually being still here? Man... That was a new definition of _hurt_. The kind of pain that leaves you numb and you are not so sure of what is it inside you that constantly throws waves of electricity and fire through your whole being.

It felt like every single painful experience he had ever felt put together in just one punch: the first time Bud slapped him, the first memory of Edna accepting she didn’t care about him, Donna accidentally kicking his nuts when they were kids, Mrs. Kelso and Mrs. Forman saying he was a ‘poor baby boy’ with a ‘bad mom’ when they thought he wasn’t listening, that one time Edna actually remembered his birthday and gave him that stupid ring he can’t take off now.

Then, all the times he had hurt _because_ of Jackie, all together, punching him again in one, big, stellar blow: saying she didn’t feel anything when they kissed for the first time, saying she will have to lower her standards for him, her pretty face when her father was put in jail, she crying in his arms so many times, calling Kelso her boyfriend while with him.

Her betrayed expression when he confessed what had happened with the nurse, seeing her hopelessly crying during the game, the fear in her eyes when she had to ask him what to do next: her dreams or a life with him, the terror of that night in Chicago, her eyes when Sam appeared at the Formans’.

That sad smile during New Year’s Eve, ’79. The way she cried when she asked him to stop consuming. The day after they slept together and he didn’t want to talk about it. The night she rejected him. Seeing her for the first time with Milo and when she told him she was moving to New York.

Jackie getting away from him in November. Calling him ‘Hyde’, her friend. Not even the ‘ex-boyfriend’, but an ‘old friend’.

All of it hitting him at once. That was how it felt seeing Jackie back in that room. He couldn’t stand it a second longer.

“So, why did you break your phone?”

******

_November 9, 1982. Milo and Jackie’s Apartment, New York City. 8:27 pm._

It had started as a favor for Milo, who needed to talk to Hyde, who didn’t want to talk to Milo.

The first call she made back in May was just that, a little favor. Milo had asked her to try and convince Hyde to talk to him, so they could finally finish the contract they’ve been working on for almost a year.

_‘Just this one time, I swear. Once I can talk to him, you won’t have to do it again. I **swear**!’_

_‘I heard you the first time, now shut up. It’s already beeping.’_

The stores were ready, but a stupid firm was in the wrong place and Milo needed to see Angie and Hyde immediately. But Hyde, no matter if he had agreed to finish the business with Milo even after the shit that went down with Old Laurence and WB, wasn’t in the mood to talk to her fiancé.

Her ex-boyfriend had sounded pissed at the idea of Milo asking her this favor, and she had to bite her tongue or she would have agreed with his acid comments. She loved Milo alright, but this was still awkward. Jackie only hoped Hyde understood why she was doing this, that she calling was the result of his assholery against her Milo.

_‘You are not his secretary, Jackie. You shouldn’t be—‘_

_‘Well, you didn’t answer his forty three calls, what else did you expect? You also didn’t listen to your sister. So here’s the thing, my friend. Sign the damn papers and we’ll all be happy.’_

_‘Are you okay with this? With what happened to that old man? Did you knew?’_

_‘No, Steven, I didn’t. But these are Milo’s business and it’s not my place. They are also_ your _business. So, are you going to do it?’_

_‘Goddammit, woman. Yes.’_

_‘Alright, thanks…’_ the call should have ended there, but instead, she sighed and then asked: _‘So, how have you been?’_

See, the problem was… she hadn’t talked to him in a while. Not a real conversation since she first rejected him before going out with Milo for the first time. He had move out almost immediately, then she had gone to Madison and now she was in New York. All rushed and crazy, but not less pleasant.

Listening to his voice and what he had been through, even to know about his new girlfriend, Sara, it was some kind of nice relief. Like when you don’t notice you’ve been holding air and suddenly, it all releases and you can breathe normally again.

Now, months and a letter later, she was calling a third time. No favors to do, no excuse of birthdays coming. Just her, wanting to listen to his voice, know how he is doing. Wanting to know he got her message that night in the Formans’ kitchen.

_‘I love’ and her eyes went to Hyde’s face in that second, his back straightened in his spot, ‘you.’_

_She looked back at her fiancé and kissed his lips with just a smooch._

_Then, her mismatched eyes went back to Hyde’s face, ‘I will always love you somehow…’_

She meant it. Somehow she will always love him at the end of the day.

 _“Yes?”_ his voice made an echo in her mind, her smile soon appeared.

“Hi, Hyde.” she said.

There was a long pause on the other side of the phone, but she could tell he was smiling when he answered. _“Hey, Jackie.”_

Talking to him was never difficult, even when they weren’t in good terms back when they were kids. If they weren’t throwing hurtful words at each other, they were sharing a laugh over someone else’s- usually Eric’s- despair. Once they truly knew each other, it became easy to laugh about the same things, plot shitty jokes together and share things no one else would know in other circumstances.

_“You got my letter?”_

Jackie rolled her eyes, sitting on the floor. She had been on her knees at first, but this was going to probably be a long call. “You call that a letter? It was a cut magazine article, and a note that could had been written better.”

His laugh filled the room and Jackie sighed. _“Alright, how would you have done it?”_

“I would have actually written something to you, not about how successful my business is now…” he was laughing in the other side, she smiled back and remembered that little detail. “Okay, I would have said that too, but first— we haven’t seen each other in a while, so maybe start with ‘it would be nice to see you soon’.”

_“It would be nice to see you, Jackie.”_

She stopped there, biting her bottom lip. “Well, you came to New York a lot and never called until I found out.”

 _“Those were just business trips, you know—“_ he was lying, but Jackie said nothing. It wasn’t her position to say something about it. _“Look, I was busy with other stuff and I didn’t want to bother you. Or Milo, outside work.”_

“I know, but it would have been nice to see you. Really.”

 _“Yeah…”_ he sighed. _“Jackie, I was going to junkie reunions. I didn’t want to see anyone during those days.”_

The tension in her body left her with a sigh. She already knew this, Fez had told her. In a way, she was surprised he decided to share the experience with her, but at the same time, she knew he would never lie to her again.

Smiling, she nodded. “I’m glad you are doing it, though. Do you still have the medal?”

 _“Of course.”_ he answered, even his voice sounded relaxed. _“Do you need anything?”_

“What? I can’t call a friend?” she said, maybe too fast. “Actually, yes.” she remembered, a smirk was showing on her face now. “You once told me I would never make you write me a letter…”

_“Crap.”_

“And then added that ‘I better also sing and dance the day I do it’, because, you said it was impossible. So…”

_“I’m not gonna sing, Jackie.”_

“You owe it to me, mister.”

_“Says who?”_

“Me!”

This was a lost battle, but she couldn’t help but try to make the call longer. She didn’t have an excuse to call this time, not even a lie; she just saw herself alone in her apartment and decided to do it.

No one will know. Milo never checked the phone bill, just like he never stopped his day-to-day work routine after she moved. At first, she was fine with it. She had started going out with her new friends, meeting new people, accompanying Milo’s mother, Martha, to fashion events and other high society stuff. It was fun.

But slowly, it faded.

_“I’m not singing you shit, woman. You called for that? Sorry, your long distance call is now money in the toilet.”_

“Oh, you really think I’m going to let it go that easily?” he didn’t answer, so she sighed. “How’s Sara?”

 _“There.”_ he said. Jackie blinked a couple of times, thinking of how he never seemed to know what to say when Sara was brought up. _“I don’t know.”_

“Uh?”

_“I broke up with her.”_

“Oh.”

_Tump-tump, oh-no, tump-tump, oh-no._

“Why?” she asked, her tone sounded incredibly low to her. “I mean, I’m sorry—“

 _“Because, I don’t know.”_ he laughed out of nervousness; his laugh was always different when he was nervous. _“That’s why. I don’t know. I only went out with her the first two times because Forman and Donna were getting on my nerves.”_

“I see…”

 _“And then, I just—I_ do _like her. But all those things she wants, I can’t give them to her. Which is funny because—“_

_Tump-tump, oh-no, tump-tump, oh-no._

“Because…?”

 _“It doesn’t matter, Jackie.”_ he sighed. _“How’s Milo?”_

She took her time to answer, looking at both sides of her living room, so wide and cold, empty.

“I don’t know.”

 _“What do you mean?”_ his tone, it made her shiver. _“Jackie?”_

“Nothing…” she said. “He’s working. I haven’t seen him since morning. It’s been like this all week, I just…”

 _“You are alone?”_ she nodded; Hyde laughed again on his side of the phone. _“You just nodded, didn’t you?”_

Jackie cracked a smile at that, nodding again. “Yeah. Sorry.”

_“It’s okay, grasshopper.”_

Her fingers went white grabbing at the phone. She could have asked him to stop calling her that, but she never did.

Listening to him trying to distract her about the fact that she’d been four days alone after school, it made her realize he was giving the same warm feeling as before. Like a comfy blanket on a snowed day.

Closing her eyes, she listened until they both went silent and stayed like that for long minutes.

“Hyde?” she called, but didn’t get an answer. Had he hang up at the end? “Hyde, are you there?”

_Tump-tump, oh-no, tump-tump, oh-no._

_“Shut up.”_ he said, Jackie was about to protest when he cleared his throat and _—“Breathe deep, breathe clear…”_ he was singing. _“Know that I’m here, know that I’m here, waiting…”_

******

_December 04, 1982. Point Place General Hospital’s Smoking Area. 00:18 am._

Jackie opened her eyes, wide in surprise, after hearing Eric. Hyde turned around, back against the cement balcony. He looked as aloof as ever, but he had forgotten his sunglasses in her room, his eyes were saying a very different story.

“It just happened.” he said. “Forman, you took your damn time telling me what was going on, I got impatient.”

Eric arched an eyebrow; Jackie crossed her arms over her chest. “So things haven’t changed for you.”

“Why I am feeling offended by that?”

Jackie laughed, when Eric’s laugh followed hers, she looked at her friend and someone moved in her room. From the touch on her hand, it was Milo.

“Because you are insane, my friend.” Eric informed him, Jackie nodded. “She’s marrying someone else, let her go.”

“Wait, what?” Jackie looked at him, then at Hyde. “What are you talking about?”

“You can’t keep pretending there is hope,” he continued while Hyde lighted another cigarette. Jackie frowned at the sight, “Jackie is with Milo, man—“

“They broke up.”

Jackie sighed. Finally.

“What?” Eric looked at him, arms crossed over his chest now. Hyde took a drag of his cigarette and his sweet time to answer. “Hyde, man…”

“She broke up with him two weeks ago, more or less… It was little before Izzy’s birthday party.”

“Your grandmother’s birthday?” Eric said, his tone was too sarcastic for his own good. “A party in New York you said you weren’t going to but you went at the last minute?”

Hyde didn’t even react to Eric’s accusations, he only turned around and put his arms over the balcony and kept smoking. Eric imitated his pose, so Jackie moved and sat over the balcony between them.

In the silence, she sighed and took in the lights of their little town behind her.

Milo started to talk, back in her room and Jackie shook her head, this was going to get confusing soon. Better go back there. But— Point Place looked beautiful, seen from the top.

“He didn’t say anything. She had her ring with her, you know? Fez and Milo got Jackie’s stuff from the hospital.” Hyde nodded, “The ring was there. Although… uh.” Eric looked intrigued, fingers on his chin, remembering. “Milo has it, he didn’t put it on her.”

“They aren’t together anymore, Forman.”

“Uh?” Eric looked at Hyde now, so did Jackie. “How’s that you know this and Donna doesn’t?”

A thick silence followed, then the smoke of Hyde’s cigarette getting lose in the starless night.

 _“What can I do to keep you, baby?”_ she heard from that room.

The right thing to do was walk away from these two gossipers, maybe go back to Milo and Donna. But the way Hyde kept his mouth shut, goddammit. There was something she needed to know.

“We aren’t together or did anything back in the City, if that’s what’s making you piss your pants.”

“Uh…” he scratched the back of his neck. “Alright, I just… I didn’t mean—“

“When I saw her in November, I introduced her to Izzy and she invited her to the party. She told me there, didn’t want anyone to know just yet. So I shut my trap. That’s it.”

“Oh. Yeah, I understand.” he sighed. “You think she didn’t take off the ring because she didn’t want anyone else to know yet?”

Jackie nodded, Eric had got it right this time.

Hyde shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know, just…” he finished the smoke, played with the tail between his fingers before letting it go into the street. “Why is he seeing her shit, man?”

“Because there’s no one else, sadly.” Eric answered.

Jackie blinked a couple of times. Milo was listed as her next of kin, even when he was only her fiancé. Yet, he had been the one getting her the insurance. After this, she realized, she will owe him big time.

 _“Look, I’ll let you go if that’s what you need.”_ Milo said and Jackie stopped thinking. She just listened now, standing, this time going for that distance she needed from Eric and Hyde. _“I’m still getting used to it, I—I thought we were happy together. And I know you never liked what happened with Old Laurence, but—“_

“And you better calm down about it…” Eric said behind her, she heard Hyde’s ‘tsk’ while Milo stayed quiet. The wet sensation on her hand was obvious, he was crying. “Thanks to him, we had access to a lot of legal things, otherwise, it would have been a disaster. With her father in jail and Pam in fucking Romania,” Jackie looked at Eric with wide open eyes. What was her mom doing in Romania? “Well… the only one is Milo.”

Hyde nodded. “Don’t start any shit, Hyde. Wait for the good ol’ Milo to tell the truth.”

Eric laughed again, rejecting the cigarette his friend was offering him. Jackie shook her head, and walked forward.

_“Maybe I lost you ever since. Maybe…”_

“I don’t know. Maybe we can tell mom and see what she thinks. I mean, when Jackie wakes up and finds out we all think she’s still marrying Milo and that Milo is taking care of everything…”, Eric’s voice was a murmur to her now.

“Don’t you think she may want to go back to him?”

“No.” she answered, looking back at them.

Hyde had the cigarette between his lips only, the smoke doing a halo over his head. She couldn’t see his face clearly from that distance, besides he was looking at the ground. Eric was staring at him with that expression of knowing way too much.

“No, I made my decision. It’s not fair for him, or me.”

 _“I understand if you don’t want to be with me, I get it. I really do. If you want to be—with someone else, I don’t judge you, baby.”_ Milo said.

Jackie swallowed hard and hoped her heart didn’t beat too fast in her body. She didn’t want to scare Milo or give him false hope that his chat was working or something. She was still here, standing as a ghost, as other people lived around her.

“You are afraid she will.”

In the silence, Jackie recognized the tension in Hyde’s body and his name started to tickle on her tongue as her heart beat too fast. Yes, yes he was afraid. And so was she. But— for what? Why? She needed to hear this, so she walked back to them.

That close image of him so near her face back in November made her want to know, see his face, meet his eyes. When she approached them and the noise of Milo calming himself in her room became a soothing sound, she looked up at Hyde.

She had always liked his profile, the shape of his nose was something she always thought of. ‘An elf nose’, she had called it once high on his cot, when he lived with the Formans’. It had made him laugh _and_ blush.

Hyde was a handsome man, no matter from what angle she looked. He had been a foxy boy, but nowadays—yeah. A handsome, young man.

“You are never going to move on, aren’t you?”

“She did, that’s enough for me.”

Jackie looked at him and the way his mouth moved with the third cigarette of the hour between his red lips.

She imagined the taste of the cigarette, and the tickle for one filled her body in a strange way. Her brain was screaming that she wanted one, but her body wasn’t truly feeling anything. Just a small thing, like the weakened light of Christmas ornaments during the first week of January.

“Besides,” Hyde said while looking at Eric now, “you people think moving on is going and sticking my nose in someone else’s business. But that’s not it for me.” he announced, Jackie started to play with her own hair. “For me, it was stopping getting wasted and starting the chain with my sister, getting involved with my other family. That is moving on for me.”

Thinking about it, Jackie nodded when her conversation with Donna’s career director flashed her memory. She had been happy to start school, actually wanted it when the idea seemed to start materializing. Milo’s date had seemed secondary when what she truly wanted was to start something else that only involved her.

Maybe that’s why the long distance relationship always worked for her, because she had only mind for school and having Milo at the phone was always fun, seeing him during breaks and weekends was perfect. Then, they moved together and Old Laurence happened, and so did the loneliness of their apartment when he had to work.

In Madison, she had Donna and their new friends, _and_ Eric. She still saw everyone else at Point Place, and when Hyde disappeared from their lives, it didn’t hurt as much thanks to the constant distraction that college and her people offered and the assurance that Eric gave them that Hyde was fine.

In fact, she looked up at him again thinking about it, he had been doing great at AA. That’s why she gave him that medal that belonged to her grandfather a year later, and he still had it with him.

Eric nodded. “I understand, but—“

“Forman, you need to start getting used to the idea that I may not have a relationship right now, or tomorrow, maybe never. And that’s fine.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds before Hyde got back to his cigarette and Jackie sighed. After a long silence, Eric spoke again.

“No, I don’t think she would go back to him. I mean… why?”

“He’s all Prince Charming right now.” he started to explain.

 _“I love you, Jackie,”_ Milo said back in the room and Jackie looked up at the sky, arms crossed over her chest. _“Please wake up, you have so much ahead. It doesn’t matter how you want me, as a friend or a lover, or nothing at all. It’s okay. I’ll disappear from your life if that’s what you want.”_

Again, tears formed in her eyes and she smiled. This limbo was too much. She always wanted to see how much she mattered to everyone. But this was pure torture.

“Milo helps with everything, takes in his caring hands all of Jackie’s problems and will be there when she wakes up, ready to fulfill that life of eternal love and happiness she always wanted.” the way he sounded, Jackie wasn’t an idiot, he was truly—“I mean, I know he cares about her and even if they aren’t together, he… will be there for her. But it stinks. He is controlling as hell, we shouldn’t let him take care like this.”

“Crap.” Eric said after almost a whole minute of silence. “You are in love with her.”

She nodded. Exactly what she was thinking, what she got from that night in New York.

“Yeah…” Hyde said, Jackie looked up at him again.

This was new, he admitting it. Or maybe it was like this before with these two? She wondered if he would ever do it to her face.

“And it only took me” he signaled the numbers with his fingers from one hand, “three phone calls, one stupid letter, two nights in New York.” and a gun with his other hand, “Pow! Back at it, like if she didn’t just—reject me from her life two years ago, and again some weeks ago. Now, this.”

“Oh, Steven…”

Even if he didn’t know it, even if none of them could feel it, Jackie hugged him like she used to when they were together. To his side, arms around his waist, head nested in the middle of his chest.

“You are important to me, always.”

What was this mess? Steven admitting to being in love with her, Milo crying in her room, she outside her body, everyone upset and sad, Kat dead. What did God or whatever wanted from her? Was this a lesson? ‘Stop being such an idiot and decide what you truly want’? It sounded like something Vic would sit her down and talk about: get it together, _decide_.

“Are you okay?” Eric said. When Jackie opened her eyes, Steven had a hand right in front of her face, over his chest.

“Yeah, just…” he massaged there before sighing. “Like pressure or something...”

“Stop smoking, man.” Eric suggested and Jackie laughed, nodding as the last tears rolled down her cheeks. “If you are getting the girl, you have to stop smoking first or you’ll have a heart attack when she wakes up.”

Jackie looked at Eric now, then up at the sky again. Milo was kissing her forehead. _“Here is Donna, baby. I’ll let you two alone.”_ and the sound of clothes moving, he and Donna exchanging words, and Eric smiling at Steven in front. She didn’t stop hugging him.

“Because… you are not giving up, right?”

Steven moved his head to one side, a nod with a smirk. She loved that smirk, it was the way he always smiled before he got something done his way.

“She got me first.” he said, Eric laughed at his side. “I’m not going anywhere.”

******

_November 15, 1982. New York City. 3:39 am._

He was fucking exhausted, physically and mentally. A three years nap was in his schedule after leaving her safe and sound in her apartment.

Giving her back to reality was the biggest offence he had done to himself since his last hangover back in 1980. Hyde was proud of his sobriety but _God_ , giving her up tonight was going to be hell all over again.

The silence between them reminded him of a funeral, a part of them was dying right now as their steps took them to her building and the end of this stolen night.

What happened tonight was beyond his wildest dreams and ideas while high. They had spent hours together as if time hadn’t passed between them and none of the crap that followed after Chicago had happened.

Hell, he even did things he swore to her face he would never do for her.

Going to stuffed animals house just because she wanted to see the new models? Listening to amazing music live at the goddamn CGBG? With her, with Jackie Burkhart, of all people, jumping and singing at his side?

Who the fuck had he become tonight? The 18 year old boy she had dated would puke on his dressing shoes. But then again, that kid was a fucking asshole and a moron, too. And an addict without noticing. Bud and Edna, and then Samantha, and the porn ‘stache; that had been that kid too. The past.

“I had fun.” Jackie said as their shoes echoed the almost empty streets they walked side by side, but this city never seemed to take a break. Just like her. “Thank you.”

He shook his head. “Nothing to thank for, doll. This had been awesome.”

Jackie smiled at him with that knowing smile he had learned to love, it was the only part that belonged to him now, and for him, it was enough. She let him call her by those endearing names still and every time he did, she looked at him that way.

Her building was right across the street and the traffic lights were red for them. They stopped one beside the other in silence. He craved to take her hand again, but he couldn’t do anything she didn’t initiate. She was untouchable unless she called it different.

“You know…” she started, her feet were moving, changing her weight from toe to toe, “you still owe me a dance.” Jackie looked up to him at the same time he looked down at her, “For that letter, I mean.”

“We danced at the club.”

“No.” she answered. “You know what I mean, don’t run away.”

It sounded as if charging a different meaning. The lights went green, and she took his hand, making him cross the street in such hurry, his heart started to beat crazy against his chest.

Right in front her building, there was a little park. The darkness of it didn’t upset her, probably because in the middle were all the lights on and they were standing under the trees near it. She waited for him to get the clue, but he didn’t want to.

So she took his hands and put them in the places where they should be to dance. This was crazy, another ridiculous thing to add to the list for tonight.

“Ready?”

“No. Jackie, I’m not dancing.” he answered, his heart was hammering inside him, asking for this to stop.

“Come one, Hyde!” she said. God, he hated when she called him that. “When are we going to dance again, uh?” the way she frowned, this was serious for her. “My wedding? Donna’s can’t be, you are not exposing yourself like that. Mine, you’ll have no option.”

Her wedding. Fuck. His feet didn’t move, nor did his hands; he only blinked and lowered his eyes to their hands joined between them.

“ _Your_ wedding?” she said at the end.

His wedding. That was ridiculous. He looked at the contrast between his hand and her body, as it was on her waist. His body always seemed bigger against hers, and yet, it also fit perfectly.

“Alright.”

He owed her that. Not only for the stupid letter, but for the many times she begged for something as simple as a gesture. She was not his chick anymore; the one who danced with her was probably sleeping at this hour and wouldn’t be happy to see him with her.

To finish their free night, he would give her this at least.

“To what are we dancing?” he asked as their feet moved slowly.

“I don’t know…” she stopped, thinking about it. “Uh… _sleep sound, sleep tight_ …”

That song. Hyde smiled. For him, it was about her, about them. He wondered if she knew, or if she was only singing it because he had sung it to her before.

“ _Here in my mind, here in my mind, waiting_ …” she looked up at him and they started to move again, just as slow as her singing.

Words were cut from her throat, she was looking right into his eyes and Hyde licked his lips before giving them a tune to keep dancing.

“ _Come close, my dear_ …” at her sighing, he continued: “ _You don't have to fear, you don't have to fear_ …” they were getting closer, and their dancing slower, like back in 1978. “ _I'll see you soon, I'll see you soon…_ ”

Her hand was pressed on his chest, his over it. They moved in silence now, keeping a rhythm they never had before. Like them and their lives, it seemed like their connection had also changed. One would think it was supposed to disappear at this point, but for Hyde, it only grew. And for her? He could feel it. It was the same for her.

“ _How could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?—How could I live before?”_ his voice was just a murmur, he could have been actually asking her these things. This song, man. It was always a slap when it came on the radio. “ _How could I—I have been so blind?”_

Her head was now resting on his chest, and he sighed. “ _You open up my eyes_ …”, she sang.

Hyde nodded. “ _You open up my eyes_ …” he finished the song and they stood there without moving, only listening to the other’s respiration until her shoulders shivered.

So he held her this time, his lips over her head as she cried. He couldn’t kiss her, but he could hold her.

Tomorrow, all this was going to be gone. It would be one silly dream they would laugh about one day in the future, maybe on her wedding day as everyone else dances and sings happily for the Harrington-Burkhart marriage. Who knows? At the end, this was it.

“I’m sorry!” she said after long minutes of tears ruining the remains of make up on her face, she cleaned herself with her hands and didn’t care much of the dress she was wearing. “Oh no, I ruined your pretty shirt!”

There was a little stain on it, Hyde smiled.

“It’s just a shirt, Jackie.” he answered, his hand landed on her cheek and he dried the last tear, making her smile at him. “Are you okay?” she nodded.

His finger remained there, caressing and she sighed happily at the sensation. If he kissed her now, would she slap him, yell at him? Or accept it and then go back home? Was this allowed on this night out of their reality? He better not find out, he couldn’t ruin whatever this was between them now.

Friendship? He’ll take it. Whatever she wanted, if it made her the happiest. Even not being part of her life anymore, if that’s what she wanted. Whatever.

“Hyde?”

Their faces were closer, he hadn’t realized when they both leaned into each other’s mouth. The second it cost her to look between his lips and his eyes, he thought of letting her go but the grip of her hands on his shoulders and how her arms hugged his neck next told him to stay.

Slowly, he followed his instincts back home, back to the poem of her lips.

There, between their warm breathes, and the magnetism of her lips so close to his, she opened her eyes and pushed him away gently, slowly, shocked with herself.

Hyde had opened his eyes the instant her arms left his body. Looking at her, he understood it was over. The illusion was broken, and she needed to get home to her righteous partner and forget this night was ever theirs.

“Good night.” she said, and quickly walked away.

Standing alone in the park, he saw her almost run to the other side of the street. She didn’t even look back when she entered her building, and his hand went to his lips. They hadn’t touch at all, and yet the shadow of her lips was already tearing him apart.

Like she had appeared tonight, she disappeared. In a heartbeat.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Donna has a lot to say to Jackie, even knowing she may not hear her at all. Jackie has a lot to listen from Donna, even when she is desperate to make her friend know she is there.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	10. She's In Me, Always With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna has a lot to say to Jackie, even knowing she may not hear her at all. Jackie has a lot to listen from Donna, even when she is desperate to make her friend know she is there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ~ Today is my birthday and the day has been kind of weird, but it doesn't suck as much as the rest of the week has been. I want to thank MistyMountainHop, GreenAndZen, leonacastellanos and canthelpmyzise for their comments in the last chapter, it was the chapter with the lowest quantity of reviews this fanfic had gotten and It kind of make me worried that you people didn't like the chapter.
> 
> So, really, if you didn't like it, I would love to know why. Because If I'm going to keep publishing this story, I want to correct the things people think shouldn't be in there. So, please, tell me what was up with that chapter that you didn't like. And as for this, it would be nice if you could comment too. The fic it's in the middle of its life, and I'm worried you are not liking it anymore.
> 
> Also, thanks to wonderful NannyGirl for her incredible work as my beta for this chapter, her beautiful birthday wishes and friendship. Thank you to all my friends back in tumblr for making my birthday a better experience, too. THANK YOU!
> 
> Now, If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/152975092085/heart-like-yours-chapter-ix-know-that-im-here) to support me! Thank you! Enjoy your lecture!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter X – She’s In Me, Always With Me**

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Smoking Area. 00:46 am._

She heard Donna’s cries near her body back at her room.

Looking up to Eric, she wondered if the idiot didn’t plan on spending more time with his future wife. Her friend was inconsolable, and Jackie was starting to wonder if it was only because of her situation or if there was something more.

“Midget, a need you to wake up— _now_.” Donna said, and the tone of her voice made her jump from Steven’s body.

The boys were talking about Eric’s parents and how work was doing, then Sara. She could lose this conversation, but Donna in her room? No way. So she gave one last look to Steven before she started to walk fast, trying to reach her friend and hoping someone would open that door for her.

“I can’t be a crazy bride if you are not here to annoy.” she said, then laughed. “Oh, boy. I’m a mess right now. I don’t even feel like getting married. Which is crazy because I love Eric, and I’ve been wanting this for a while. This is our time, right? It should be…”

“I’m so sorry, Donna.” Jackie said, then started to run. She better get to that room.

Donna hadn’t talk that much to her body. She did, like anyone else, but only superficial things. This was the most she had said to her, and she had asked Milo to get out the room for what the man said. Maybe this was something serious, or maybe she should just be there in that room and confirm what she already knew and was proud of: Donna loved her.

“I actually think we shouldn’t get married right now… or maybe not do the party, you know?” she said, Jackie wanted to roll her eyes. No, no way that wedding wasn’t happening again. “We can get to the register and celebrate at home, do the party and religious event later. When you are better and don’t look like a stepped on bug.”

“Hell! Goddammit, lumberjack!” Couldn’t she quit with it? Jackie already knew she wasn’t looking on her best right now.

“Jackie… I can’t do this alone.”

Finally, Jackie reached the door but couldn’t go in. Her ghost powers were actually nonexistent and she needed someone else to do the trick for her. Damn it.

She closed her eyes, concentrated on being there with Donna but nothing happened. How had she done that when Steven was in her room? Donna was crying inside, saying she couldn’t do whatever it was alone, taking her hand and she couldn’t go in.

She could only feel it.

“I needed you to come home so bad, because I needed someone to talk—I, I don’t know who to tell this. It’s just—“

Oh no.

Her heart started to pounder against her chest, Donna was losing control of her cries and was grasping her hand with such force, Jackie knew she needed to be there.

“Donna?” she called, hands against the door. “Donna!”

******

_December 8, 1981. The Forman’s living room. 06:23 pm._

Having Milo for the holidays was the best part of her year, Jackie decided as Milo’s lips followed her smile back at their kissing before he had to leave her side to go help Mr. and Mrs. Forman with their groceries. He was nice like that.

She smiled at him while Donna sighed and returned her attention to her guests list and Jackie laughed, taking her friend’s attention.

Back when Donna and Eric wanted to get married while being kids, Donna never truly bothered on traditional wedding stuff like being crazy for a year before the event. Seeing her now, happily stressed about who to invite and who not to, was certainly refreshing.

“You know, seeing you like this I’m starting to think maybe I should give you your Christmas gift.”

Donna frowned. “What did you got me, uh? A bigger notebook? The school’s yearbook?”

“No, you dumb goon!” she answered, walking over Milo’s suitcase. He had appeared just this afternoon and he was already helping in the house like a good son. “You are _so_ gonna love it! I bought one identical to yours, so we can match! This is gonna be fun!”

If she had turned around, she would have seen Donna rolling her eyes but leaving her notebook aside to look at her. She found the white boxes she was searching, one with a big Mexican pink ribbon in it and the other on its bag.

Walking to the large couch, she sat down at Donna’s side and gave her the box with the ribbon.

“Open it, open it!”

She saw Donna tearing the ribbon apart and opening the box with a small smile, she didn’t wanted to show her excitement. Jackie knew, her gifts were always the best, but admitted it seemed to be something none of her friends would ever dare to do.

Yet, the look on her face when she found the large white book was priceless. The confusion of it only grew stronger as she opened it and found out the words, ‘My best friend knows better’ on the front page. Donna looked up at her.

“What is this?”

“A wedding planner!” she informed. “That one is for when I get married, and this one…” she opened her own box, an already started large planner was pulled out of it. “Is for yours! I already filled some spaces, look—“

All of Donna’s and Eric’s information was already written on Jackie’s fancy handwriting and her purple pencil. Donna’s smile grew wider as she read how good Jackie knew her and her wedding plans, then a laugh escaped her and Jackie smiled bright.

“You like it?”

“You are insane!”

Which meant she liked it. “Come on!” Jackie moved to her side, taking Donna’s black pencil. “Let’s fill some… let me see that list, and I help you out with it.”

Donna’s face was pink, she seemed to understand this time her wedding was going to happen and everything they did had a big meaning. Nodding, she took her black pencil and opened her own wedding planner, filling quickly all of Jackie’s information.

“You have to call Milo back soon,” Donna informed, “so I can interview him about his family. And who his best man is going to be… and the rest of his male clique.”

“Oh, the best man is Bruce Solan. Best friends since childhood and all that jazz.”

Donna smiled. “Alright, I still need to know his parent’s names and all that jazz.”

“Uh…” Jackie frowned. “What are you having? A band or a DJ, or what?”

“Eric is going to take care of that.”

Her frown only went harder. “Eww, why? No offence, but your fiancé has a terrible taste in music.”

“No, _you_ have a terrible taste in music.” Donna corrected with a mischief smile, Jackie took her tongue out for her and she laughed. “Well, since I don’t want him to ruin everything but also want him to understand this is also his wedding, I thought of giving him an easy task. So music is it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… Oh! And he can put marks on whatever he wants from the store once we do our gift table.”

“Good girl.” Jackie said, and both laughed at that.

The kitchen’s door opened and both, Eric and Milo, got out to the living room laughing like siblings. The sight made Jackie smile. She may not be Eric’s favorite person, and he is definitely not hers, but she liked this. She liked Milo having the chance to get along with her friends, they were the most close to a family she ever had.

“What are you two doing and what the hell is that large as hell book in your hands?” Eric asked, elbows resting on the couch’s back, looking at Donna writing. “Oh my god, is that a wedding planner? My fiancé has a wedding planner!”

“Shut up, Eric. I’m considering not taking you to choose the gifts if you keep this crap.”

“Alright. I’m a tomb.” he looked over Jackie’s and his eyes went wide. “Why do you have one too?”

“This is for your wedding, dumbass.” she announced, Milo sat down at her side and looked over.

“Sooo, this one” Eric signaled the one in Donna’s hands, “is for yours? Holy shit! You two are getting married? When!?”

“No!” she and Milo answered at the same time.

“Not yet…” he said with a little smile. “We just talked about it. I mean, it’s a secure thing,” Donna looked at her and Jackie’s eyes went directly to the book, the ‘wedding song’ was still blank, “but it’s not official yet.”

“Uh.” Eric exclaimed, hands up. “Alright, just let me know so I can run away. I can’t even imagine the kind of bride Jackie will be. She already bosses us around, imagine when the big day it’s for her!”

“Oh, shut up!”

“Hey, I know this one for our wedding!” Milo said, trying to less the tension in the room. Jackie looked at his finger, pointing at the wedding song.

She smiled. “Yeah?” Jackie said, looking at him and Milo nodded, kissing her forehead before looking at Donna as she spoke. “Wedding song…”

“Oh! I have an idea of which one it could be, but let’s hear it!” she said, changing the pages to go back to the initial information. “Ready!”

Milo laughed at that and Eric rolled his eyes, moving to sit at Donna’s side. “That would be… ‘Tiny Dancer’ by Elton John.”

“NO!” Eric and Donna yelled at the same time, looking at Milo with wide open eyes and twin frowns.

“Uh, guys?” he murmured, then noticed Jackie tensed at his side. “Well, I just thought—you really like that song, you get really in the mood when it comes to the radio, so I thought…”

“Not that song.” she said, trying to smile at him. “Not ever. Please.”

“Baby?”

“I—I need some water. I’ll be right back.”

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s room. 00:53 am._

The way she was crying would have made her laugh in another time, if she could see it from another perspective like on TV. She would have laughed, alright. In fact, Jackie may have laughed little after making sure she was actually okay. ‘Hush, Donna. That face is too red already!’, was something she would say.

Just with that, Donna started to laugh. Even Jackie’s memory—no. Not a time to think like that. Her friend was here, just asleep, being a complete lazy little shit like Sundays at home when she lived with her.

“Seeing everyone here, it makes me a little sick that we had to wait for something this bad to happen for us to get to your side.” she said to her friend’s body, it was so still, it freaked her out. “I mean—I like to think I’ve been doing better by you ever since before Madison. But sometimes, I get this feeling… like if it’s not enough.”

It had been a crazy year, 1979, it still seemed unreal. Ever since her cancelled wedding, it all seemed out of a cheap drama from one of those books her mother loved to read from the supermarket.

Like Jazmin and Bianca, she and Jackie had gone through hell and back. Funny how things went at the end, leaving Point Place like if it was haunted. And maybe it was, it was haunted by the sorrow of those young girls who’s heart were broken by the boys they thought were gonna love them forever.

At the end, Eric had come back a man. And Jackie had found Milo at the end of the grey path. They were supposed to be fine. But now—

“I’m a little scared…” she confessed at least, her hands were sweaty and playing now with each other. Jackie wouldn’t like it if she was holding her hand like this. “You know how I was happy with Eric and then we started to have problems when we first broke up. Or when my mom left, I thought I was fine before that and then she just—went.”

Her chest went up and down, a nervous laugh escaped her throat and she cleaned her face with her hands.

“Every time everything seems to be right, it isn’t. I’m scared it will happen again, because I was so ready and happy for this month—“ her voice broke, it sounded terrible even to her ears.

She was glad Eric wasn’t in the room, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to say all this. Worrying Eric was out of the plan for the time being, he had enough babysitting Hyde. Donna didn’t blame him. They were all worried about him, too. It’s been two years already, but the memory of that hospital, and the fight at The Formans, and him at Leo’s. No.

It was impossible to forget that.

“This happened.” she finished. “There’s another thing.” Donna looked up at her friend’s face. She looked more at peace today, it make her a little nervous. “You see, I need you to wake up because… I haven’t told Eric something important, because I was waiting for you.”

Donna made a pause, thinking about the wrapped little gift she had for Eric back at his parent’s house. It was ridiculous, cliché as hell, but she felt like doing it and she knew Jackie would approve.

“I needed your opinion.”

Why was this so difficult? Saying it to Jackie was supposed to be easy. Was it because she wasn’t truly listening or—Donna closed her eyes and sighed.

“I’m pregnant.”

******

_December 8, 1981. The Forman’s kitchen. 06:38 pm._

Donna opened the kitchen’s door to find Jackie sitting on the table with a still full glass with water. She didn’t say anything, not even looked up so she moved to sit at her side. Her friend was occupying Mr. Forman’s usual spot and the sliding door was opened, they could hear the owners of the house laughing outside with the cold and the sound of Fez, Caroline and Hyde laughing down in the basement.

“I just told him what’s up with that.” she started, trying to make Jackie react to the moment.

“You shouldn’t.” she answered after what felt like an entire minute. “I never—I never talk about any of that with him.” Jackie confessed, Donna nodded thinking about it. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Maybe—no, yeah. It is. You are giving it too much importance, in that case. Why you don’t want Milo to know?”

There was no answer but Jackie shaking her head, steps were approaching the kitchen and they knew someone was coming from the basement but no one said anything.

“You haven’t let it go at all, isn’t it?”

“I did.” she said, then shook her head again. “I mean—it’s weird. I have told him about it, but there are things I can’t said. Like why I like that song, or why I laugh every time a Led Zeppelin song is on the radio. I just can’t bring myself to tell him.”

“Ladies.”

They both looked up, Fez was walking to the fridge with a smile and Jackie sighed.

“Fezy, come here. We are in the middle of dilemma!” she announced dramatically and Donna rolled her eyes. At least this meant she wasn’t that bad.

“Coming!” he closed the fridge’s door, a cherry soda on his hand and a cola one on the other.

He sat down with them, besides Donna and listened to what happened in the living room just a few minutes ago. Nodding, he seemed to think about it, before speaking as he opened the cherry.

“I don’t think is a bad thing, you will always…” he seemed to search for a word, but Donna was already understanding what he was coming at, “ _treasure_ , certain things for that relationship. I bet you have stuff of your relationship with Kelso that you don’t want to give away.”

She frowned. “Not really…”

Fez looked at her and Donna shrugged.

“What I think is not so pretty,” Fez said, Jackie crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, looking at him, “is how you get upset about it.”

“Well—“

“Does it hurts?” Fez asked, Donna looked at him. He was smiling, like if he knew something none of them did.

“What?”

“Does it hurt to think about those things?”

Jackie thought of it, and slowly nodded.

“Sometimes… just sometimes, not all the time. Like I can listen to the song and be fine, but right now, in this moment, it hurt.”

“I see.”

He took the other soda, and stood up. “You know,” he said and Jackie looked up, “it’s okay. Eventually, it will not hurt. Just give it time.”

They looked at each other for sort seconds, Donna smiled at Jackie and put a hand on her shoulder, her friend looked back at Fez with an almost sad smile.

“Fez, when did you became such a wise teller?”

“What do you mean?” he said with faked offense, “I have always been this wise.”

Both girls laughed at that, and the man left them to themselves again. Donna passed her arm over Jackie’s shoulders and let her rest her head on her shoulder.

“Will I ever be over him?”

“I don’t know. Sadly for you, I have never let go of my first love. So I’m not so sure about it…”

“Lucky bitch.” Jackie admitted. “You and Eric are meant to be, like written in the stars and stuff like that. Mortals like me, we have to suffer a bunch of idiots first.”

“Oh, come on.” Donna laughed. “Don’t say that. It doesn’t have to be perfect and easy, Jackie. It just has to be yours and make you feel like you are the only person that matters in the world when you are with them. As long as he makes you feel loved, that’s the right one. Does Milo makes you feel like that?”

The silence that followed make her look at her friend, she had her eyes closed and her lips on a white line. But, slowly, it became a smile and she opened her eyes, bright as ever.

“Yeah…” she answered. “He does.”

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s room. 01:03 am._

“Donna!”

She had never hugged her friend so hard and so out of nowhere. Donna won’t feel it anyway, but Jackie’s eyes were closed and her face was hiding on her red hair, arms rounding her neck and over her shoulders from behind.

Her friend was still talking to her body, explaining her plans of giving Eric the surprise on Christmas while on their honeymoon. She had her pregnancy blood and urine test’s results wrapped on the watch she had bought already for him.

“It’s cliché and stupid, but I thought… why not? You know. It sounded good when I did it, but now that I’m saying it out loud, damn, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not! It’s beautiful and romantic! That nerd better appreciate it, Donna!”

Eric better did, Eric better spoil the hell out of Donna for now on because now it was all clear. This is why she was so sensitive, this is why she sounded so damn happy on the phone the night before she left New York, this is why she hasn’t been able to sleep and eat well, to be calm like she always did when the time needed it.

“Alright, you can be mean and bossy, and a total bitch for now on.” Jackie said, moving to sit in front of Donna on the bed.

Her friend sighed. “Oh god, it feels so good to say it—I’ve been dying to do it.” she said, nervously laughing as tears fell down her face. “I’m pregnant!” she laughed, “Oh my god… I’m pregnant.”

Slowly, Jackie’s eyes followed Donna’s left hand to her stomach and she thought maybe her entire body shuddered before the image. Her best friend was pregnant. Donna was having a baby, Betsy and Jess will have a new friend, a little cousin to take care of.

Her hand stayed over Donna’s, and Jackie looked at her body with watery eyes.

“Wake up. Please, wake up…” she murmured.

“Jackie, now you know.” Donna said after seconds of trying to calm herself down, a nervous laugh leaving her body. “You have to wake up. I can’t have a baby and not have a contact in New York to send me cute little clothes for her. Or him.” she looked down at her abdomen and caressed tenderly. “Whatever you want, whatever you are...”

Jackie looked at her talking to her unborn child. Her stomach was still flat, she didn’t seem to have any other symptom but her humor. But Donna was pregnant. She and Eric were going to be parents.

She blinked a couple of times.

“Yeah…” Jackie murmured. “I have to.”

******

_Point Place’s General Hospital, 01:16 am._

If there was an award to the most awkward moment of the year, this would make first place. Blue ribbon and all. Eric looked between them, to Hyde and then to Harrington, both to his sides, not talking. Awkward.

“You think I should—knock or something?” he said, the other two didn’t say anything.

He looked at Harrington who was looking at him, then at Hyde, so Eric looked at his friend too. Nothing, only his arms crossed. Fuckitty fuck.

“Alright, I’m gonna knock.”

“Why don’t you wait for her to get out? She must be just—trying to be with Jackie.” Milo suggested at least.

Looking on the corner of his eye, Eric noticed Hyde shrugging and oh god, how did he end up in the middle of these two? When Hyde had started to date Jackie, things weren’t this awkward with Kelso. In fact, having him trying to break them apart was only pathetic, not anguishing like this.

“Yeah, well—I just want to get some sleep and these chairs aren’t as comfy as the blue couch inside.”

Harrington smiled, Hyde stood and stretched his muscles before looking at them. Or, looking at Harrington whose back went rigid the second he noticed the way Hyde was staring at him, he crossed his arms over his chest now.

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

Holy shit.

“Uh, sure.”

He stood, walked with his friend far from him and Eric blinked a couple of times. A minute or so later, Harrington’s eyes were wide open and so was the door of Jackie’s room. His fiancé went outside and smiled at him, some kind of relief seemed to be sparking on her face and the sight of it made him feel way better than anything had done in the resent days.

Eric’s arms opened to her, and Donna walked to sit at his side, head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead and signaled with a finger to where Hyde and Harrington stood talking, little by little more intense at the second.

“Oh my god, what is going on there?”

“I think we’ll have a scene soon or later.”

“Please, don’t…” she said, “This is the last thing Jackie needs at the moment.”

“I know, but tell that to those two. They truly dislike each other.”

Truth was, they _didn’t_ but they _did_.

In another world, in other circumstances, if his friend hadn’t fucked up so bad and had met Milo as his and Donna’s friend, then Eric was sure they would had been good friends. They were so similar, Harrington and Hyde, calling the older one by his last name instead of his birth name was only natural.

Yet—

“Baby?” Donna called, Eric looked down at her, finding her eyes closer to his face and he smiled. “Can we go home later? I need something I left in your room.”

There was something weird there, but he knew better than to ask and go crazy about it like before. “Sure”, he answered. “Everything alright?”

Donna seemed to think about it, then nodded with the most tender smile he had seen on her face since this all started. “Yeah…”

Hyde and Harrington stopped talking, both seemed to not know what the hell was next, so slowly, they made their way back to their sits. Except, Harrington entered the room and Hyde sat down where the older guy had been sitting at Eric’s side since Donna took his place.

“You okay?” Donna asked

“Stellar.”

Which he didn’t sound like, but none of them said anything. His sunglasses were lost on Jackie’s room and something told Eric he wasn’t entering there any time soon, so his tired expression was evident to the two of them. He looked at Donna who returned the knowing stare and her hand landed on Hyde’s arm.

“I’m glad you are here.” she told him, Hyde looked at her with certain curiosity on his face. “I’m very sorry about earlier, it’s just… it’s been crazy.”

“I understand.”

“No, listen—“ she sat down correctly, and Eric moved his arm to stand on her shoulders as he listened to the conversation. This was important. “I’ve been a complete ass to you lately, and I’m sorry. It’s just difficult, that’s all. But I shouldn’t be like that.”

Hyde nodded after thinking about it for what seemed like an entire minute, he took Donna’s hand and squeezed it with affection, offering a small smile.

“Have you talked to her?” Donna asked.

Hyde shook his head. “I couldn’t.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t know…” here we go again, Eric rolled his eyes and then felt Hyde’s palm on his thigh the second he smacked there. He had seen him. “I don’t know what to say. It’s been years and I still don’t know what to say.”

His hand went to his friend’s shoulder, squeezing a little before he looked back at them.

“Don’t be mad at Jackie—“ Hyde started, looking at Donna with a plea in his eyes.

Eric arched an eyebrow, _here_ we go.

“What?”

“We saw each other in New York during November.”

Donna looked down for a few seconds, like thinking and processing the new information. When she realized what he could had been telling her, her eyes went big on her face and a furious blush appeared on her cheeks.

“Hyde—“

“No!” Eric said before Donna did a thing. “No, listen to him first.”

“You know about this?” her urgency sounded offended, he put a hand up.

“Donna, please—“

“Listen, man.” Hyde started again, talking quickly. “Nothing happened, okay? We didn’t do shit, we just went out with her friends and spend some time together after. But nothing like what you think happened, I swear.”

She looked at him, searching for something else. It’s not that she didn’t believe him about nothing physical happening, it’s just—

“It can’t be _nothing_ , you told Eric and she didn’t say a word to me about it!”

“Man, I’m ser—“

“Nothing is _ever_ **_nothing_** when it comes to you two!” she said, Eric nodded. “If it’s nothing, then why are you telling me like confessing a crime?”

He didn’t reply, his mouth opened then closed in the same twenty seconds, and his arms crossed again, this time looking at the door. Sighing, he gave up and looked back.

“I tried to kiss her, but she rejected me.”

“Of course she did, she has a fiancé. You have to let her go.”

“That’s the other thing,” he smiled, “they are not together anymore. Donna, Jackie broke up the engagement.”

Once more, she frowned and slowly turned away from both of them, like if they smelled or something.

“How do you know that? Please, don’t tell me you have something to do with it.”

“No, no.” he answered. “I saw her again at Izzy’s birthday party—“

“Your grandmother’s birthday party? The one you said you weren’t going but went in the last minute?”

Hyde rolled his eyes. “You two…” then sighed, and nodded. “That’s the one. We saw each other again, and she told me about it. Didn’t want anyone else knowing just yet, so I shut it and she started to wear the ring again.” Donna nodded, wanting to know the whole thing. “Point is, I don’t know what is going on… What does this mean, like—for us, or something. **I don’t know.** ”

Donna shook her head, and sighed again. “What does it means for _you_ , Hyde?”

“I don’t know…”

“Okay, number one: you gotta stop with that shit! That’s what fucked you two the first time. Quit with the damn not knowing crap, it’s enough!”

Eric tried not to laugh, but a little smile was still on his face. Hyde glared at him, but nodded anyway.

“I’m in love with her.” he confessed. It still sounded crazy, but every time he admitted it out loud, it seemed to Eric like it became stronger. “I guess I never stopped, it was just put on a pause.”

Donna nodded. “Good. Then, what?”

He laughed out of nervousness. He was admitting too much in such a short period of time, it was just question of seconds for him to break into the same old habit again: evasion. Hyde’s body was rigid again, his shoulders seemed uncomfortable to no end, but Donna insisted.

“You know what she wants.” she said, “That’s not gonna change just because you love her. And if you really do, you should know she deserves to have those things and be damn happy.”

“I know.”

“So when she wakes up, before you go and try to kiss her again, think about if you are able to be with her as she deserves and if that will make _you_ happy.” she said. “If not, just please… let it go.”

Hyde only nodded.

“Now,” Eric looked at Donna and so did Hyde, “are you serious? She’s not longer with Milo? Holy shit! Why didn’t he say anything? I’m going to kick his sorry ass!” she said.

Eric smiled, looking at Hyde who was also smiling and nodding.

“Fucking right, man. I’ll help you.”

******

_Point Place’s General Hospital—Jackie’s room, 01:19 am._

“You told him about us.” Milo said, Jackie looked at him with a frown and her hand felt his touch when his fingers caressed her palm. “I don’t know why I’m surprised… even when we were the happiest, I guess he was always there.”

“What the f—“

“It still hurts a little.” he said, “You said he had nothing to do with us breaking up.”

“Oh.”

Steven. So at the end he had told him something, or was it Eric? Jackie closed her eyes and let her head fall behind, being a ghost didn’t allow her to feel tired but _damn_. A nap would do wonders for her, probably. At least it would distract her for a while.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Milo said suddenly and Jackie looked at him for the tone. “I’m just realizing maybe you are right—we shouldn’t be together like this.” tears followed his words, and this time he let go of her hand and sat all back. “What was it that screwed us? It wasn’t Hyde. Was it me not telling you about him and the stores? Old Lawrence? All of it?”

She thought of it, then sat on the blue couch. “All of it.”

“I never wanted him to have the damn heart attack, you know—it’s just. I need to close that part, and I thought, if I do this, it will be over.”

“You used my friend and didn’t tell me anything.” She replied. He couldn’t hear her, but this conversation—

How many times they avoided it? How many times she wanted to yell at him for it? When Milo sold his properties to Angie and Hyde, she never thought something as horrible as his damn, disgusting, grandfather having a heart attack. The damn old prick had threatened with going full legal on the matter against the Barnetts—and Steven.

She still remembered the way she had felt about Milo when he didn’t even blink as his sister told him about their grandfather. Yes, Lawrence was a piece of trash, had emotionally and physically abused Milo his entire life after his father died, but—Feeling nothing when someone tells you, you may have been the reason that person almost died? She would had never been able to live with that.

“Hyde is so pissed about me being here, I’m just waiting for one of us to yell at the other.” He laughed. “When we were doing business together, it was easy to forget we are supposed to not like the other. Guess Angie balanced the tension, we were just two men talking about music and talent.” He sighed, “I wanted to share that with you, I thought it would make you happy to know I could be at peace with him. But—“ he looked up at her face, Jackie felt like shivering. “I knew the second I mentioned him, everything was going to be about him. I couldn’t stand that, so I guess… I asked for it myself, uh?”

Milo stood, hands on his face as he sighed and Jackie wanted to throw up. She had hurt Milo more than she thought, she was still hurting him. If she wakes up and remembers all this, would he hurt even more if she acted on how she was now feeling about Steven? This was terrible, she was horrible.

“Christ…” he walked over to her body again, kissing her forehead and leaving like running away from a fire.

Jackie stayed on the blue couch, looking at the door. It didn’t open again.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: A new day brings everyone back, and more people get to see Jackie. Hyde and Betsy have mission while someone talks to Jackie in the past, making her present another level of hurtful.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	11. A Ghost Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new day brings everyone back, and more people get to see Jackie. Hyde and Betsy have a mission while someone talks to Jackie in the past, making her present another level of hurtful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you thought it took so long to publish this chapter, but real life bite me a little this week. That said, I have to announce that I'm not always going to make it to Friday, because me and my beta have other stuff to do too. But I will finish publishing this work, so don't worry about it.
> 
> Thank you all for your birthday wishes and comments in the last chapter, thank you! And as always, a big thanks to NannyGirl for helping me get this together and check my crappy English. You are the best!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/153740150805/heart-like-yours-chapter-xi-a-ghost-calling) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XI – A Ghost Calling**

Jackie’s lips were a thing of beauty, but her hands on his skin will remain forever his favorite feeling in the world. The noises that she made always kept him in the moment, gazing at her pretty face as their bodies moved and that thing between them became stronger.

This, he remembers, shouldn’t be happening. He didn’t plan for it, and neither did Jackie, but that’s what always happened between them.

It was something that had life of its own, always moving and finding ways out of his hands and control. She only had to be in close proximity and his entire body was already reacting to only the sound of her breathing and the smell of her hair.

Like tonight. The bed frame slammed against the wall and her moans filled his entire mind with foggy love words, and pleas for her to stay, even when she was not going anywhere and they were living together.

“Stay—“ he said.

Hyde had tasted too much of the good stuff, dancing in the palm of her hand since he first kissed her. Those months he spent looking as she let herself be fooled again by Kelso were pure torture and his body had craved her more, and more.

“Steven…” she moaned, and his mouth covered hers, tongue doing its magic.

All those stories he heard before, about the body getting used to good sensation, turned out right the second he couldn’t stop kissing her that next summer. He had become addicted to the way she made him feel ever since, and once he lost her, he also lost himself—

“What—“ Jackie tried to ask when he stopped, but she immediately got the clue once he was giving his back to the mattress and was tugging her softly to be on top. “You really like that, don’t you?”

“It’s a nice view.” he answered with a smile, the room was too bright but nothing was as full of light as her smile in that moment.

Why did he fucked up so bad the next day? In that moment, he didn’t thought about it, he only enjoyed the way she had let him in again and how she moved above him.

“Oh,” she moaned, “it really is a nice view.”

Laughing, his fingers grabbed at her waist and helped her guide their movements as the room started to get brighter and brighter. He frowned, remembering they had seen the sun appear, but this was too much.

“Staaaay…”

Something pinched at his side, he was stabbing himself with her night stand, probably, but she was almost there and he couldn’t just steal that from her. It kept hurting and hurting—

“Stay—“

Until it all went white, then black, and moist filled the corner of his eyes.

“Wake up!”

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Waiting Area. 06:33 am._

Crap.

This is why he was never having a kid, ever.

“God-daddy?” Betsy pocked his cheek with her tiny finger, it was cold as the devil and the silence of the hospital wasn’t helping. Hyde wanted to turn around on whatever he was sleeping on and ignore the little girl. “God-daddy, wake up!” she insisted, this time opening his eyelid and he hissed.

“Jesus Christ, kid…” he murmured, finally opening both eyes and squeezing them before looking down at her. So he was sitting. “What is it?” he had fallen asleep on the waiting area.

Betsy didn’t say anything, she was balancing her body like when she was trying to lie or to convince her mom to let her play in dirty places. Hyde prepared himself for the ‘no’ he was giving, but when the girl looked up at him with too serious eyes, he stopped.

“I need your help, I have to see a new friend.”

“What new friend?”

The girl looked at her sides, like watching for any intruders that could interrupt her and Hyde yawned. This was going to be a long, fucked up day, just like the one before.

“Her name is Harley. We have to find her.”

“Who?”

“Harley?”

It stuck on his mind, like if something was trying to be remembered but the only image he had at the moment was of him and Jackie on her bed, two years ago. It was a memory that he both, hated and treasured. The last time he touched her, but in what circumstances? He hated it.

“Are you okay, god-daddy?” Betsy frowned.

“Yeah, just—didn’t sleep well, kiddo.”

“I didn’t sleep much, too.” she said, Hyde looked at her and examined her chubby face and long brown hair. She looked like Kelso’s mom, but her nose and lips were totally Brooke’s. Just like her brilliant mind. “Are you gonna help me? Harley’s mommy told me you will.”

“What?”

She didn’t said anything else, but instead looked back at the hallway were her parents were now walking towards them, easily talking to The Formans and Bob. Fez wasn’t there, Hyde imagined the man probably walked past him and entered Jackie’s room without waking him up.

He was alone in the waiting area, which meant Forman, Donna and Milo were in there.

“Let’s go, god-daddy.”

“Where?”

“It’s over here, come on!” she took his hand and tugged him away from where the other adults were walking.

Hyde gave a last look to Jackie’s door and sighed, the warmth of her body was still on his fingers and he wished his mind would stop with this crap already.

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Harley’s room. 6:42 am._

When the door opened, Jackie expected to see Harley’s aunts back and knew a little about the girl’s situation somehow. But instead, there was nothing, a head peaked inside, she knew those curls maybe too well and her eyes opened wide and her head moved to one side.

“Is she the one?” he said, Jackie stood from Harley’s bed and observed as Betsy came into view, stepping inside and looking at the little girl on bed, then nodded. “Good.”

Steven closed the door and Jackie wondered once more what they were doing here. Had he seen Harley’s aunts yesterday after the news about Kat? Maybe, all her friends went to give their condolences to the family. But he had been in her room and with The Formans as everyone else was away, so how… why was he here? With Betsy, also.

“Who’s she?” he looked at Harley and Betsy looked up at him.

“A friend.” was her answer and Jackie went directly to Betsy, following her until the little girl went down the bed. “I found it, god-daddy!”

“What you found?” he said, looking at the door like taking guard.

“Her mommy told me her bag was here, and here it is!”

“Well, if she told you, of course it was going to be here. What now? We take it to her?”

“Steven?” Jackie said to him, even knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear or see her. “Kat is dead, idiot!”

“We can’t, god-daddy. Her mommy is in Heaven.”

Steven finally seemed to understand what was going on, Jackie took a look at him and realized he was still half asleep. Every time he was sleepy, he didn’t function as a human being after an hour awake and with his coffee. But more important now, he looked at Harley, then at Betsy.

“When did her mother tell you about this bag?”

Betsy had opened it, looking for something inside and she took out a notebook. “Yesterday, while I was sleeping.”

“Bets…” he started, Jackie’s heart went wild.

Could it be possible that Kat was still here? Maybe in like, another _level_ , something like that? Was Jackie like in the purgatory and Kat had already transcended to Heaven but needed something? She slapped her own face, feeling anything anyway. She was starting to get crazy, alright.

“Bets, what are you talking about?”

In that time, Steven had crossed the room and was now on Betsy’s eye’s level, one hand on her shoulder and the girl smiled at him, showing him the notebook.

“She said you were going to ask.” opening the notebook, she started to pass the pages. “So she told me to tell you to trust me.”

“Betsy, this is not funny. You have to respect the dead.”

“Well, I know!” she said, showing him the page she had found. “Here, this is Harley’s dad. Her mommy wants us to call him and tell him what happened, that Harley needs him.”

“Betsy…”

“Steven, listen to her!” Jackie said, looking at the number in the notebook. “Betsy, what else does Kat needs?”

“We are going to your parents now, I’m sorry.” Steven answered. “This is not a game.”

“Harley’s mommy said god-mommy is here, too.”

Jackie stopped all thoughts in that second, looking at Betsy with wide open eyes. Had Kat truly talked to her? Was this really happening? Finally, someone would know. Maybe this way she could get some help and finally wake up.

“She said, you won’t believe me.” Betsy said, “But she said that in that case, I should tell you—“

“Betsy.” Steven called, his voice sounding strong, maybe too loud, it made Betsy walk away a few steps. “Enough.”

“No! No, Steven!” she tried, and stopped the second she saw his face. There was just one time she saw that face before. Chicago. “Steven?”

“Don’t be mad at me, god-daddy!” she said, “It’s true! Kat said god-mommy has stuff to take care of first, and that she will—“

“ENOUGH.”

“She said you love her!”

The room went silent then, only Harley’s vital sings between them and Jackie felt like passing out. She looked at Steven, waiting for him to react, but he was just looking at Betsy with that rage he shouldn’t have for her.

Betsy seemed to look for something to help her in her memories, but Steven talked first. “Kat. Our friend?” Betsy nodded. “Betsy, you shouldn’t be playing with this. I know it’s hard and that you are sad for Jackie, but—“

“You bought her a ring before she met uncle Milo!” she suddenly said and Jackie’s eyes widened, she couldn’t stop looking at Steven’s face and the way he was opening his mouth to reply—“But papa did something bad…” and he close his mouth, his hand leaving Betsy’s shoulder. “And you told Miss Kitty and your sister that you throw the ring into the Reservoir.”

“Betsy—“

“But you didn’t!” she said, obviously not wanting him to talk at all and Steven let his butt fall into the ground, listening. “And some Samantha found it, and she put it on, and you were so mad at her for that, you wanted to hurt her but you hurt yourself…”

“What…?” Jackie murmured, looking at Betsy. She was frightened. She probably didn’t understand what was going on, she was just passing a message.

“And you kept doing it, until you lost the ring.” tears went down from her brown eyes and Steven swallowed, waiting. “You thought—god-daddy, Kat said that you thought losing that ring meant you will never be with god-mommy again. So you hurt yourself again, and when you wake up, you were in the hospital.”

“Oh no, Steven…”

“Room 342…” she repeated what she had heard in her dream. “July 12th, 1980.” and she wasn’t wrong. Steven’s respiration was heavy, and his jaw was tense. Jackie put a hand on his shoulder, she hated seeing him like this. “Intestinal bleeding.”

“Betsy,” he started but the girl let the notebook fall and put both hands on his face.

“Harley’s mommy says that the ring is in your store, behind the boots box.”

“What?”

“She says that after you find it, you have to make her a favor and talk to Harley’s dad because her aunties can’t take care of her. They won’t allow them to, because one of them is not actually her aunt and the other is not married, but they live together.”

The aunts were…? Oh. Oh, now it all made sense. Of course. Jackie looked up at Harley’s sleeping form but immediately looked back when a sound distracted her.

“God-daddy!”

Steven had left the room, leaving the door open and Betsy alone. She stood up to follow, but first waited for Betsy to leave the bag back on its place and run after Steven, notebook still on her hands.

“You bought me a ring!” she yelled at him while running behind him. “You were going to propose!” she realized, tears moistening her eyes. “You lied to me!”

He had told her he wasn’t ready after he came back from Las Vegas. Which meant he was conscious of the kind of crap he did during that month. Of course he did, come on. He had remembered the stripper’s name. Maybe he was passed out for most of his ‘wedding’, but he knew the woman, he knew what he was doing before and after that.

“STEVEN! STOP RUNNING!”

******

_July 12, 1980. Grooves, Point Place. 11:45 am._

“Fuck!” he threw the papers on his desk, quickly searching with his eyes but nothing.

The damn thing wasn’t here either.

Swallowing hard, Hyde moved everything on and opened every drawer, searching in desperation for that stupid ring. It has costed him not only all his savings, but also half his life and the entirety of his heart. If he lost it—

“No, no, no, no—“

He has never been this scared for losing something in his life, not an object at least. Half a year and this hell was still consuming him, losing that ring would mean that was _it_. She was gone forever, and not even the idea of her will keep him alive. That ring was her, their screwed future, her dreams and his hopes. And now he had lost it.

“FUCK!” Hyde kicked the chair, not waiting for it to fall before kicking it again.

Thinking about where else it could be, he went to the little closet with his coat and emergency clothes, and other useless stuff Angie maintained there before leaving. He moved all the boxes, opened all of them, and searched in every pocket and piece of clothing but _nothing_.

In the back, the box of the boots Jackie got him rested and he took it, putting it on his desk to check that he hadn’t left the ring there. This was the fourth time he checked the damn box, but nowadays his mind was all wrong and it wouldn’t be a surprise if he missed it, but a first.

No.

All Jackie-related stuff were in that box. He had put it there the second Samantha started to ask too many questions about the things on his room. He had wanted Jackie to remain present in his room at least, but couldn’t. It was selfish and stupid, because he had ruined them and he wasn’t allowed to keep her in any way.

When Samantha put the ring on, he almost lost his mind. The box was sent here, and here it rested like all the only good stuff he still had: WB’s family and his enchanted box of precious items. Like tickets from _Funland_ , a napkin with Jackie’s kiss and a girly ‘I love you’, her prom corsage, a picture of her last cheerleader presentation, an engagement ring she never got to see and—

Everything. He had everything. And he had lost it.

Hyde thrown the box away, quickly walking to the door and leaving. His employee would close later, he needed a beer or twenty right now. And a good shot to the arm, too.

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital. 6:53 am._

Hyde’s heart hammered inside him as serious as a heart attack, he slowly stopped running and his hands went through his hair before scratching at the back of his head, thoughts passing around his mind faster than blood and Betsy’s voice sounding loud inside.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” he walked fast to the nearest trash can, throwing up the disgusting sandwich he and Forman had got at three am.

After his stomach was empty, he looked at his side to find Betsy looking up at him with wide open eyes. How can this kid not be scared shitless of what she just dreamt? Maybe that’s why the ghost has gotten her, because a kid would never question reality.

No one knew about that ring. No one, not even Leo, not Izzy, _no one_ , knew about why he ended in the hospital that day.

This was serious.

“Betsy…”

“I’m so sorry, god-daddy.” she said, “I just thought we should help Harley, she is alone now.”

The little girl was Kat’s kid. She looked at peace, horribly so if you take in mind the fact that she was in coma like Jackie. He looked at his goddaughter then, remembering what she had mention about Jackie, was she serious? Could it be? There was only a way to know it.

“Kid, why me?” he said instead. Why not Milo? Or her parents? Or Donna?

“Kat said you are the one.”

The one.

Jackie’s laugh filled his ears, her red nose but happy smile blinding any doubts about what was that between them, laying on his cot back at the Formans the night her father was taken to jail. She had called him that, ‘the one’.

_‘See, Steven? You are the one for me.’_

“What else she said?”

“Oh, that Harley needs me!” she smiled. “Congratulations to aunt Donna.” he frowned. “And… that we need to let the doors open for god-mommy.”

“What’s with that? What had she said about Jackie? Be—“

“Hyde!” Kelso’s voice distracted him, he was walking towards them with certain kind of urgency. “There you are! Brooke wanted to kill me, we couldn’t find Betsy!” the little girl ran to her father, and Kelso carried her, looking at the notebook she was holding. “What’s that, baby?”

“Oh—“

“Mine.” Hyde said, taking the notebook from Betsy and she nodded. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh…” Kelso looked back at the hallway he had just run, then to Hyde. “Come with me, man. Shit got real.”

“What?”

“It’s—nothing bad, but. Uh? Just come.”

“Is Jackie alright?”

“Yeah!” he answered as they walked back to her room, “Okay, so I did a phone call to make sure Jackie’s dad knew about her.” he waited for Hyde to acknowledge his doings, Hyde only nodded. “And I wanted to talk to him, but that wasn’t an option. Who knows?”

“Kelso, he is in jail, for fuck’s sake—“

“God-daddy, you said a bad word!”

“Uh…” Hyde looked at her and Kelso shook his head. Being lectured by the doofus was the worst in the world, but it was starting to be more and more common.

“ANYWAY,” he continued, “they told me they would tell him and today I got a call from his lawyer at my parent’s. You know what he said?”

“Kelso, if you keep this conversation, I will be applying a Red and his foot on you.”

“Damn, Hyde!” they stopped in front of Jackie’s door, everyone but Harrington were outside. “He got the message and said he wanted to be told whatever something happened.”

“And?” he said, Donna and Forman weren’t visible between the sea of people, which meant they were inside or maybe already at the house. “What’s the problem with that?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Brooke sighed, looking for help with the other woman in the room. “Mrs. Forman?”

“Oh, sure—“ she took Jess and Betsy followed them to sit with The Formans and Fez, who immediately carried Betsy.

“He… wants to see you.” she told him, Hyde moved his head to one side.

“Me?”

“You.” she answered. “Not Milo, you.”

Why would Jack Burkhart ask for him instead of the man he thought was Jackie’s fiancé? Harrington had made Jackie keep in major contact with him, he knew from Donna she visited him at least twice a month now. But he wanted to speak with him about this mess, could it be that he was aware of what was going on in his daughter’s life more than everyone on this hallway? Was it because of the last time? Damn, Harrington probably hated him more now.

“Okay, I… have to do something in a few minutes, I can go see him today.”

“Oh, it can wait. I was thinking maybe you should go once Jackie is awake.” Mrs. Forman suggested, they all moved to be near the rest of their group. “Michael here already let him know the little we have right now, so there’s no rush.”

“Alright…”

“Now, you said you were leaving?” she looked at him with curious eyes, Hyde scratched the back of his head.

“Yeah… later. Where’s Donna and Forman?”

“Went to the house.” Red answered, Jess was playing with the button of his breast pocket and Bob was laughing about it. “They said none of you got real sleep, so they better rest for today.”

“They are going to take off Jackie’s respirator.” Fez said. Hyde looked at him, now why everyone seemed a little worried made sense. “See if she can breathe on her own…”

“If she does, it means good news!” Mrs. Forman tried to less the tension.

“Is it dangerous?” he needed to know, Mrs. Forman shook her head and looked up the second Jackie’s door was open.

Harrington went out with a small smile. “They are going to take it off now, we just have to wait.” he announced. “Good morning, little girl! I didn’t see you before.”

“Good morning, uncle Milo!” Betsy greeted. “We were on a mission!”

“That’s right, where were you two?” Brooke asked with her hands on her waist, looking at him.

“Uh—“

“It’s a secret mission!” Betsy answered for him, Hyde laughed and it seemed to make Brooke feel better about it. “Right, god-daddy?”

“Of course. But we didn’t do anything bad, I swear.” he winked to his friend, and Brooke smiled back at him.

“You better!” and she sat down, her big belly didn’t allow her to be standing that much.

He sat down with the others, wanting to go to the bathroom and then hit the road. But he couldn’t leave while they worked inside with Jackie, he wanted to be there for whatever happened and the minutes it took them to do their work felt like hours. From the way Harrington was moving his feet and staring at his watch every few seconds, he could tell it was the same for him.

“Alright,” a doctor followed by Nurse Nora went out Jackie’s room and everyone but Brooke and Mrs. Forman stood, “I’m happy to announce our patient is now breathing by her own. She has handle pretty well the first 24 hours, which means she is out of major danger. Now we just have to hope she will join us soon, that way brain damage can be discarded soon.”

“Doctor—“ Harrington started, but Hyde closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

One entire day and she hasn’t wake up, and his goddaughter was talking to ghosts in dreams. Happy holidays.

******

_Point Place’s General Hospital – Outside the male’s bathroom. 7:24 am._

She had followed Steven to the bathroom and stayed outside waiting for him to return. From the way he was acting, he wasn’t telling anyone about what Betsy had told him and what they had done. She wanted him to do as Kat asked, and give her some answers about that ring— because there was a ring he chose for her and wanted to put on her finger, he had wanted to propose that night, that stupid—

“Move!” she yelled inside the bathroom, knowing nothing will happened.

After Michael had appeared, she calmed down just a little and thought of this new information. That she was overwhelmed, well yes, but she was also incredibly angry and Jackie didn’t even know why.

“Baby, the room number’s go up in here. It must be this way—“ a couple appeared when the elevator’s doors opened and Jackie turned away, she wasn’t feeling like picking looks at other people when she wanted to know if Steven was going for that ring and to help Harley, or not.

“No, no. The nurse at the station said it was this way, Val!”

That voice. Jackie moved slowly again, looking at the woman taking the older man’s hand and guiding him into the other direction, to were Jackie was waiting for Steven. She was wearing sunglasses and her hair was shorter, a little bit more blond, but—

“Val, Val! Listen to me—Ugh, VALENTIN!”

Jackie opened her mouth, she won’t listen to her (as always, but for the first time without intention) but—

“Holy crap…” Steven said, he was now standing at her side and Jackie’s hand landed on his arm, begging for something.

“Damn this man!” the woman cursed as the older guy walked away, and she kicked the air. “It’s this way!” she signaled to the other hallway to no one, her tone frustrated and on the verge of tears. “The nurse said it was this way! My daughter is this way!” she finally turned around and freeze in front of Steven. “Han!”

“Hyde.” he corrected. “Mrs. Burkhart.”

“Pam.” she said.

Jackie looked at her mother, then at Steven. Blinking, she swallowed and examined her mother’s obviously new clothes and the sunglasses on her face. She had come.

“It’s…” she started, playing with the short curl of her hair. “It’s my daughter’s room that way?” she signaled in front, Steven nodded. “I knew it!”

Her mother was here.

******

_November 30, 1982. Fox Lake Correctional Institution, Wisconsin. 2:18 pm._

“You don’t look happy.”

Jackie stared at her hands before slowly looking up to her father’s eyes. He was clean shaved and he still looked older than he was, tinier too, incredibly small even when he was once the tallest and biggest man she had ever seen.

One of her fondest memories about her dad was him going for her to kindergarten, all in a brown suit, looking too elegant for the small institution, searching for her with his eyes and a frown. She was so small back then, he hadn’t seen her approach him until she tugged on his pants and he looked down at her, like many times after, and smiled bright.

He had been _daddy_ back then, her major hero and the kind of man she wanted to marry one day, have a family with. Her family would never lack of something, because she would marry a great man.

Then, he took things that didn’t belong to him and ended up here, waking her up from her stupid dreams and leaving her a terrible kind of orphan: the kind whose parents are walking on the same dirt, but will never look at her.

“What would you know?” she snapped back, arms crossed over her chest and an empty stomach menacing with throwing bile to his face.

“Enough.” he answered with a smile, his hands were one over the other in the middle of the metal table and Jackie knew he wanted to take hers. “You think I don’t know you, kitten, but I do.”

“Sure you do.”

Jackie couldn’t help it, ever since he ended up here, she had gone from state to state with the passing months. From desperation to denial, to sadness, to anger. She looked at the man in front of her and saw her future broken, all those illusions of when she was a little girl and wanted to be happy more than anything in the world.

He had thought her economic stability and social success was the key to a happy ending, only to then take it all away from her. And while he was ashamed for it, she could see it on his face, it didn’t change anything.

“You shine when you are happy.” he insisted, she buried her nails over her clothes. This wasn’t the first time she heard that. “You are not shining right now, kitten. Something is bothering you, and since you are here, I assume maybe it has to do with me.”

Her lips trembled, her dad had seen through her and Milo didn’t. He had kissed her good morning and wish her a good day every day, then left without even noticing her pout about him not going to work that day had been real, not just a silly joke. Her dad hadn’t seen her truly grow up, but he knew she wasn’t right just by standing right in front her.

“I saw Hyde the other day…”

“Oh.” he moved his head to one side, questioning. “Who’s Hyde, kitten?”

“Steven!” she answered, her dad moved on his chair and seemed thoughtful. “I’ve been talking to him a little. We’ve seen each other in Point Place when I go visit, but never alone. Not without Milo at least. And the other day, I went out with my friends and—“

“It’s okay, kitten.” he offered his hand and Jackie let hers fall into it, his free one caressing her skin warmly. “Don’t cry, I understand. You did nothing wrong.”

She froze after hearing him, her eyes moved like wanting to see her own face and her free hand landed on her cheek. She hasn’t realized she was, in fact, crying. Swallowing, she looked back at her father.

“I broke up my engagement.”

“Oh!” he didn’t seem unfazed at all, and then he laughed. “And, you and Steven…?”

“No.” she said, frowning. “God, no!” but her hand closed on his dad’s and he smiled at her, nodding. “What?”

“I saw him the other day, too.”

“What?”

“His stepfather is here, too.”

Great. Shitty father’s reunion. Jackie sighed and her dad laughed again.

“Your uncle Barney was visiting and then he entered the visitation area, I almost expected to see him with you like before. Sat down exactly beside us, and we looked at each other like this—“ he exaggerated his frown and Jackie laughed immediately, remembering them meeting for the first time in this same room, four years ago. “And he goes, all proper and polite: ‘Mr. Burkhart’, and I go the same way: ‘Son’. That was it.” she couldn’t help but laugh at the image, dad smiled at her again and kissed her hand. The warm of it almost made her cry again. “He made you shine.”

She shook her head slowly, but smiled before admitting that “Yes, he did.”

“Mm-hm.” he exclaimed, then asked softly, “And why are you so sad?”

Jackie kept shaking her head, slowly realizing she was talking to her father like if time hadn’t passed. Like when she was fifteen and in love for the first time, and wanted her dad to understand it. Like when she was sixteen and in love for real, and her dad had smiled and told her she deserved it and that he hoped he deserved her. Like when she was seventeen and brokenhearted, and daddy had cried after listening what had happened back in Point Place.

“I don’t know—“ she confessed. “I think I’m scared. I don’t want to go back to who I was, and, and—“

“But you won’t.” he assured her, palming her hand slowly. “Kitten, there’s no way to go back. You have been through a lot, you have healed and changed, and you are here now. But,” he moved his head to one side again, “what is that you are so scared of?” she didn’t say anything, only lowered her eyes to their hands. “Him?” she shook her head no. “Love?” she shook her head again, no way it was. “Oh. I see. Loving him.”

Slowly, Jackie looked up. It seemed to her like she was eleven again and her dad had showed her the secrets of the universe. He smiled at her once more and laughed when her face felt warm, she must be certainly pink at least.

“Let’s see…” he thought about it, Jackie didn’t knew why exactly this mattered to her. “This is a man that broke your heart when you both were kids, married someone else while drunk, treated you like dirt and had addiction problems.”

“Dad—“

“Three years later he comes to see his stepfather who abandoned him more than once and pays for his protection.” she opened her eyes after hearing that. Yes, that sounded like Hyde. A lot, actually. “Wearing a buttoned shirt, clean boots and saying he has been breaking his back for a very successful chain of record stores.” he smiled. “That he owns.” he nodded, then said smoothly, “And wants to be a music producer.”

“How do you…? Ah! You talked to him! Liar!”

He laughed again, nodding. “His conversation with Bud wasn’t that long.” he said. “He has changed. Is he truly clean?” she nodded after a few seconds, she couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with her father. “Then in that case… have you forgiven him?”

She took a long breathe before nodding, then sighed looking at her father’s eyes. “Yes.”

“And have you forgiven the child you were?”

“What?”

“You know, have you forgiven the little person who grew up from what happened? The one you blame for loving him back then?”

Hyde referring to his post-Chicago self as someone else crossed her mind, was there a pre-Chicago Jackie and a post-Chicago Jackie, too? The girl she was now would never sleep with the boy he was when they lived together. They had loved each other, she loved him right now, maybe not the same way and for the same reasons, but she did. She will always do, one way or another.

“It wasn’t you fault, kitten. None of that was. It just happened. Like… _this_. Things are happening all the time, bad and good, all of them happening as you get to walk among others, and sometimes things will happen near you and will affect you somehow, but even when you want to take some of that pain with you to free others from it, it has nothing to do with you.”

Suddenly, the night her father had ended here came to mind. _‘Things are happening all the time, grasshopper, things that has nothing to do with you’_ , Hyde had told her. Jackie looked up at her father again and nodded.

“Thank you, daddy.”

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital. 7:33 am._

Pam fucking Burkhart had appeared like a comet announcing the apocalypse and now he couldn’t leave the hospital even with Betsy’s voice in the back of his mind. He had accepted the task of taking her to Jackie’s room and save her from everyone’s curiosity once they were there. Then, Milo had replaced him and offered his holy company to help her feel comfortable while she visited her daughter.

There was not even a fucking tear on her face, her new boyfriend had sat down to talk vividly with Bob and for the way Red was rolling his eyes, this Valentin guy was another dumb old shit blinded by the woman’s looks.

It made him sick to think of his shitty behavior back when he was with Jackie.

He had no real excuse. Acting mean to her meant having Jackie angry at him, ashamed for his nasty nature, and it also meant let all his friends know he was dead serious about being with Jackie. All his friends had been kids, all salivating at the sight of an older and experienced woman that made them feel like if she was going to give them anything easily. He knew the type, he had married it once.

Disgusting.

“You look really angry.” Fez said at his side, he had been playing with the notebook Betsy gave him. “And she looks _old_ , why did we like her before?”

“Maybe it was the tan.”

“Or we were full of shit.”

“That, too.”

This was the most polite conversation he has had with Fez ever since 1980. He was Jackie’s best friend after Donna and what was between them, their friendship, had died a little when he started to live with Jackie and Fez found out from her perspective the kind of shit he always did to her after Samantha came to Point Place.

Hyde didn’t blame him, he hated himself back then too.

Nowadays, years had happened and they lived in different states, drowning in different cities with other people, seeing each other only during reunions here, at home. Hyde suspected he may never be as good friend with him as they used to, but this was nice. Talking to each other without wanting to throw to the other’s face their crap.

“How’s your chick?” he asked.

Fez nodded. “This didn’t settle well with her, she wants to come but can’t.”

“Why?”

“Her stupid appointments. Doctor Horowitz can’t change their schedule and she needs her prescriptions before leaving.” Fez looked at him, “She’s coming for Jess’ birthday.”

In two days then. He nodded. “How are you taking it?”

“Like everyone else: hoping.”

“Yeah…”

They looked at the door, waiting for it to open. None of them, or anyone around them, had idea of what to do with Pam. Milo was always polite with her but treated her the same way he did his grandfather: with a fake smile, half condescending and half respectful. Pam was stupid enough to not notice, and she preferred to think she could play the man as good as she played everyone else.

“So that’s what she was doing in Romania, uh?” Kelso sat down to Fez side, the three of them looked at the man sitting with Bob, Red and Mrs. Forman.

“Gross…” Brooke said, she sat down at Hyde’s side with Jess who immediately jumped into action and tried to take Hyde’s glasses. “Oh, no. Baby, that’s not nice…”

“It’s okay.” he smiled, taking off his shades and letting Jess take them. “He can play with them, right?”

“Yeah, as long as—there, we go. No, nope.” she took them the moment the baby had put them on his mouth. “See? That’s the problem with this young, handsome gentleman, he thinks everything is eatable.”

“He’s exploring the world, woman. Let him be.” Fez suggested and Betsy run into his leg. “And this pretty lady?”

“Let’s get a soda!”

“Uh? You think? Isn’t it early for soda?”

“It’s not!” she looked at Kelso then. “Can we get some soda, daddy?”

“Uh…” he looked at Brooke who now shook her head, Hyde closed his eyes and smiled. “What about some… chocolate milk?” he asked, when Hyde looked at Brooke, she was nodding and he smiled again. “Chocolate milk is!”

“Uncle Fezy, let’s gooooo!”

They stood with Kelso behind them, Brooke laughed and sighed as they watched them get away.

“You are up to something.” Brooke said, Hyde looked at her. Jess was playing with his denim jacket. “Do you know what Donna and Eric needed to do?”

“Nope.” and he was being honest, he had no idea. “Maybe they just need some sleep.”

“Nah, Donna has been… off. Something else is going on.”

“You are not the first one who tells me that.”

“Yeah?” she smiled at him. “So what about you?”

He shook his head and opened his arms when Jess opened his, indicated he wanted to be with his uncle. Brooke passed the kid to him.

“I just need to do something, it’s all.”

“Does it has something to do with the notebook Betsy give you?”

“Uh—“ he sighed, the kid put his hands on his face like his sister did before. “No, man. Just—I remembered something, I need to go to the store.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“That woman there…” he admitted. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay, we can deal with Pamela Burkhart.” she said, winking at him. “Go, you look like a caged animal. Whatever it is, it’s killing you inside.”

It was. Hyde smiled at her, nodding.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Hyde finds something and needs to pay a favor to a ghost. Jackie deals with unpleasant visits and Betsy finishes her mission.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	12. Man Of Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde finds something and needs to pay a favor to a ghost. Jackie deals with unpleasant visits and Betsy finishes her mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! I had an unfortunate incident last week and couldn't send the chapter to my beta in time, after that I didn't even touched the internet until like, three days ago. Anyway, here it is! 
> 
> To those two anons reviewers: I'm sorry it took so long, I had stuff going on. I'm not leaving this story unfinished. In fact, it's already finished, but I always check the next chapter before sending it to my beta and so on. Sorry again!
> 
> Lastly, tomorrow, december the 18th, I'm doing something I call 'writing marathon'. Is a day in the year in which I write all day and on my tumblr (link in the bottom notes), I answer to fanfics regarding my writing, my fanfics and other projects. If you have any questions about 'Heart Like Yours' or want to share some comments and meta, you are all welcome there!
> 
> All the love to NannyGirl, my amazing beta, as always! Have great holidays, people!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/154609327400/heart-like-yours-chapter-xii-man-of-tomorrow) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XII – Man Of Tomorrow**

_November 14, 1982. Grooves, New York City. 9:39 pm._

His sister was getting too social for his own liking, so he walked to the other side of the store and looked up at the second floor where more people crapped the place with their laughs while they held their champagne in one hand. Lucky bastards.

As a matter of fact, he could drink at the moment and be okay with that, but he was also in New York, somehow breathing the same air as Izzy and Jackie, and Milo. So no, maybe tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. He was a man of tomorrow now: he could do anything in the next day, today he was sober.

“Son,” WB called his attention and Hyde sighed before walking towards him. When an old man and a pretty young girl appeared on his side, smiling in front of his father, Hyde knew what was coming and he was ready to fake smile for a little, “this is my good friend—“

Whoever.

Rich people had never been of his liking and even though his recently found family belonged to the category, he couldn’t help still feeling the same way. At the end it didn’t matter, anyway, WB had called him to smile and pretend to be interested in whatever amazing life Miss _Daddy Brought Me To Meet Guys To Get A Husband Soon_ could have.

Once he was told the girl’s name (Miriam), he had to shake her hand, do a little talk, then he was free to go and run away from his father’s insistence with him getting together with someone was as terrible as Donna’s and Forman’s.

He wished people around him could be more like Izzy. She understood his ways, his words, and even his wordless instances too. His grandmother was capable to see this was his way to be fine, of being half happy and get going with life. Sober for two years and two months, running an actual music empire with his sister, capable of things he never even thought—Capable. Almost worthy.

Angie smiled at him when they passed side by side, talking to different people.

To socialize with these strangers was the least of the things he liked doing during the openings of the stores. He had actually managed to escape two of the three, this was the one he promised to go and he never liked breaking those.

“Mr. Hyde,” he closed his eyes when the girl called him that, it was a terrible thing to hear. But also maybe accurate, “I would love to do some questions to you if that’s fine”.

He had opened his eyes by now, so a reporter. No, thanks.

“In that case, Miss Barnett is right there. She will give you all your answers.”

“But—“

“Excuse me.”

“Just two questions, Mr. Hyde. I swear, it won’t take too long!” she insisted.

Sighing, he looked down at her and the girl smiled triumphant. “Alright.”

“It’s no secret this local belonged to _Laurence_ _Sound_ before you and yours sister, did you know the selling of this place was being made without the original owner’s knowledge?”

Hyde answered immediately like WB had taught him and Angie when all this mess happened, “We are not discussing that.”

“But the original owner had a medical urgency right after he was given the news—“

“We are not discussing that.” he said, then smirked. “There go your two questions.”

She laughed, “It was just a commentary. Here’s my second question, is there a Mrs. Hyde?”

 _God_. Hyde tried to not roll his eyes or laugh. Oldest and most lame attempt to win his attention, ever.

“I” like magic, from the corner of his eyes, he saw her as this reporter smiled at him with hope in her face, “don’t—“ his full attention went to his left, both eyes focused in the image in front. “That’s—“ _personal_ , he wanted to say. But instead, he just dismissed the girl with a hand gesture. “Excuse me.”

As he walked towards there, towards her, it happened to be almost impossible to help his mind and wondering. It never occurred to him that she would know about the party, that maybe Angie would tell Milo and he would’ve told her. Was the man here, too?

 _‘Trampled_ _Underfoot’_ echoed from the speakers and she went rigid, like surprised to hear that song in his store. Her tiny fingers were holding a record he couldn’t recognize in the distance and with the slow peace he was walking towards her.

Jackie’s cheeks went red as a smile lightened her whole face, a giggle escaped her lips and she looked at her side, to where other young people stood beside her. Hyde couldn’t hear what they were talking, but it made them all laugh and she moved her hips with the music, sensually turning as if seducing the guy that wasn’t Milo who was laughing and clapping happily at her show.

There, she saw him. Jackie stopped her dancing and her eyes went wider than usual, her mouth opened slightly, the amazement on her face attracted him like a man that has never seen the sun, so he walked faster and saw the exact moment recognition hit Jackie’s surprised mind and her smile widened.

“Hi, Hyde!”

“Hey, grasshopper.”

She laughed after, Hyde couldn’t help but smile at the way her cheeks had gone red and the rest of her face showed the brightest of the lights. But before he could say anything else, someone called her behind her and a redhead approached them with an awkward nod to Jackie.

“We are going to lose the reservations, Bella.” she said, “We have to go.”

“Oh, okay. I—“ she looked back at him and Hyde shrugged. Of course they wouldn’t have time to actually talk. “Just a minute, please? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

The girl looked at him and it seemed like if she had recognized him somehow. Did he knew her? Hyde couldn’t remember any redhead but Donna.

“Oh! Of course!” Jackie exclaimed, taking the boy from before by his wrist and with that, the other two girls attention. The redhead looked at him expecting. “This is Steven Hyde, I was telling you guys about him!” she said to them, Hyde looked at everyone now, all of them examined him and recognized him from Jackie’s words.

How Jackie would had referred to him to her new friends? _‘There was this one asshole I used to date, he married a stripper and broke my heart. He also preferred to get high instead of, you know, be with me. Idiot.’_ —Probably not, Jackie was way better than that, but a part of him wanted her to just despise him from all that.

“This is Victoria,” the redhead who took his hand, he shook it. “June—“

“I prefer Rolo, please.” the boy said, he smiled at him and they shook hands too. “June Roland, Jackie and I are in the same classes.”

“Nice to meet you, man.”

“That one there is Alice,” the lady only waved her hand at him, “and here is Morgan! You have heard of her! She’s marrying Noah, Eric’s friend from Africa!”

“You are the fashion designer!” he said, finally finding a familiar name.

“I’m the fashion designer!” she answered, offering her hand and shaking his. “I have heard a lot of you from both, Eric and Bella.”

“Bella?” he looked at Jackie at his side, she nodded happily.

“It’s for Beulah!” Rolo informed and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Since she doesn’t like the name, Vic here got her a new one.”

Vic smiled proud, her chest going high with the mention of her merits and Hyde smiled. These were Jackie’s friend, he had heard of them from Donna. They all looked and sounded different from their group back in Point Place, she even had a sweet pet name instead of mean jokes for her awful middle name.

“Oh, my god!” Vic said suddenly, one hand on Hyde’s tie. “You are the trainer!”

“VICTORIA!” Jackie’s cheek went dark red and Rolo at her side opened his mouth with a mischief expression. “No, no—Don’t you dare!”

“HE IS THE TRAINER!” he said, Hyde looked between the two of them and then at Jackie. “Don’t put that face, it’s actually a good thing. Out little friend here told us all about Led Zeppelin and—loving.”

“Oh…” a smile creeped his face. Was this truly happening?

Jackie was covering her face with both hands now, everyone else was laughing. “You had to say that, don’t you?” Jackie told her friend, Rolo nodded happily. “Shut up, June. I haven’t seen Hyde in months and the first thing you do is say that!”

“It’s fine—“

“It’s not!” she interrupted.

“Guys, guys!” Alice said, looking at her watch. “We have to go or we are seriously losing that reservation!”

Jackie groaned in disappointment and her hand landed on his arm. “Okay, let’s do this: you all go and I catch up with you guys later.”

“What?” Morgan said, “No! Just—you, Trainer, come with us.”

“Uh—“ he looked back to where Angie stood talking to reporters. “Maybe…”

“Hyde!” Jackie said, slapping his arm and he looked down at her. “We haven’t see each other in months! Let’s go!”

Why, why was he dancing in the palm of her hand again? Hyde swallowed hard before smiling at her, “Alright. Let’s go.”

“Yaay!” Rolo exclaimed, offering his arm to Vic and Morgan.

Both women took their friend’s arms and they walked towards the store’s entrance, Alice taking Vic’s arm, leaving him alone for a second too long with Jackie. She smiled back at him and interlaced her arm with his.

“Are you okay, Hyde?” she asked. He hated hearing her calling him that, but nodded anyway. “You sure?”

“Let’s go, Jackie.”

“Okay!”

Her smile, man. Everything was worth any kind of trouble for that smile.

******

_December 4, 1982. Grooves, Point Place’s store. 7:48 am._

_‘Grooves’_ wasn’t even open when he got there. Hyde’s employee wasn’t up until 9 o’clock and he would probably arrive around 8:30, so he had time to move everything on that office and—whatever, man.

The two options this situation have had him scared the hell out. If he founds\ the ring, Betsy would be right and it meant that a fucking ghost has been talking to his goddaughter, that he owned that ghost a favor and—that Jackie was around. And if the ring wasn’t here, somehow, someone knew about it and Betsy had heard it. That was unpleasant to say the least. He would had to talk to the only two people who knew about it, Angie and Mrs. Forman.

Hyde never thought of breaking into his own store.

The office hadn’t change much, but he was sure as hell changing the locks and maybe getting a security system or something after this. And Angie was not allowed to know he easily broke in, also.

Walking fast to the closet, he moved one of the visitor’s chair to stand and see the highest compartment, the box were he maintained all Jackie stuff was there and his hands went to it quickly. But fear hit him. Taking away that box meant revealing the truth: was it there, was it not?

“Come on, fucker…” he said to himself, moving the box slowly until dust hit his face and he started to sneeze, struggling to take a look at the now empty space.

He left the box at one side, taking away the one that stood at its side before and something shone in the back. Hyde’s heart hammered inside him again, and he never had took something so fast in his life. Going down from his improvised stair, he looked at his still closed hand and slowly opened it.

“Fuck.”

There it was.

One big ass white pink in the middle, twelve little white ones around it, four middle sized at its sides. The engagement ring Mrs. Forman had helped him to pick just minutes before leaving Point Place to find Jackie—and fuck up his life.

Swallowing, he cleaned it the best he could with his jacket, tossing his glasses into the desk and taking a sit on his old chair. His eyes were glued to the little enchanted object that symbolized what was lost. And now symbolized something new, because— _because_.

“Holy shit…”

He left the ring on the desk, staring at it with hard eyes because Kat Peterson was dead but had talked to his goddaughter, asked for a favor after making one for him, and had told her Jackie was right there, between them, needing to finish God knows what for God knows why.

If she was resolving stuff, does it meant she was going to—? No, Hyde decided. None of that crap. He had a phone call to do now.

******

_October 30, 1982. Grooves – New York City. 7:56 pm._

It was weird to spend so much time near Harrington, even with their business going on, after what had happened with his grandfather. But he had promised Jackie to change and help with the damn papers, and get this over for once.

His sister smiled at him after he signed the contract and Harrington’s lawyer sighed before laughing at everyone in the empty store. It was almost ready, Hyde recognized as he took a look around. Soon they will be opening and there was no way he was escaping the opening of this one like he did the two others. He had promised that to WB and Angie.

“And with this…” Harrington said once his lawyer had left, he had champagne and cups when he came in, and Hyde knew what he was going to do now. “We have officially ended our work meetings,” he looked at Angie and then at him, “it was a pleasure to work with both of you.”

“Agh, Milo.” Angie exclaimed, taking the alcohol from his hands. “If you keep talking like you are 200 years old, I’m suing you.”

“If you are opening that crap, just do it. Get wasted in a fancy way.” he suggested, making the other two laugh as his sisters disposed of the bottle.

“Hey! It’s actually a very good line of champagne, it costed me half a life.”

“And we are going to drink the other half.” Angie said, bottle open now. “Bro?”

‘Are you drinking?’ was her silent question and Hyde nodded, a cup wasn’t going to kill his spirit nowdays. If there was something besides the stores he was proud of, was the fact that he could control his drinking now and most times, he left it for tomorrow, but in days like these, just one glass was okay. He nodded as Angie started to pour the drink in everyone’s cup of glass.

“My, this has been fun.” Harrington said, Hyde looked at him as he spoke. “I’m going to miss our little meetings.”

“If you are going to miss us talking to your back, sure.”

Harrington laughed and Hyde wondered if he will ever notice it was true, they did talked about him behind his back and sometimes it was just—unavoidable. He asked for it. Hyde shook his head, taking the glass when Angie gave it and listening to Harrington’s cheer.

“For closed deals, new beginnings and, hopefully, new friends.”

“New friends!”

New friends. Hyde looked at Angie, then at Harrington. They could be, surely are already, but he—it was weird. Maye one day, time was starting to be his best friend today, and it was going to erase the rest of his feelings soon. One day.

“So, how’s Sara?” Harrington asked, Angie laughed at Hyde’s side and he shook his head. “What?”

 “We broke up, man.”

“Oh.” he exclaimed, a frown forming on his face. “Sorry to hear that…”

“It’s fine.” he answered. “It was mutual, so no hard feelings.”

“That’s great.” he said.

“Oh, I have to call dad!” Angie announced, leaving her glass in the counter and Milo smiled at her.

“I have to get going, Jackie is waiting for me back at home.” his smile widened. “It’s date night!”

“Oh, have fun!” Angie hugged him as a way to say goodbye, “And it was a pleasure to make business with you, even with that little detail.”

“Not our fault, at all.” Harrington assured, Hyde sighed and stopped any hard words from coming out his mouth.

“See you around, Milo.”

“See you, Angie.”

She left, the room suddenly looked small to him. This was a big ass store, two floors and all, full with records and cassettes, and even music instruments. It was going to be a hit, the zone and the city were its credit. But Harrington was here, less than a quarter of his drink left and when Hyde looked at him to shake his hand, the man smiled at him.

“A pleasure.” Harrington said.

“For sure.” he answered, taking his hand and shaking it. “You better go, that little grasshopper doesn’t like waiting at all.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t, uh?”

“She will probably make everyone involved in the wedding wear synchronized watches, that way it can start at her hour.” Harrington laughed, but there was something grey about his laugh.

“It’s okay, she knows me. She knows I may get a little late sometimes.”

“Oh, no.” Hyde laughed. “Never do that. You know her, right?” Harrington looked at him with a blank expression, the strange smile on his face was freaking him out. “Piece of advice?”

“Sure, sure.”

“If you think you are not gonna make it in time, better tell her at least one hour before the thing. And mostly, tell her to see you one hour after the one you think you’ll be ready. That way—“

“She will be there and no incidents will happened.” he finished. “Right? Because you know my fiancé better than I do.”

“No—“ he tried, that wasn’t what he was trying to say, it was just—

“She told you that one.” he drank the rest of his champagne and looked at him. “Piece of advice?”

Hyde didn’t answer, Harrington left the cup with a hard sound in the counter and smiled at him. “I’m the one marrying Jackie, of course I know my fiancé.”

******

_Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s room. 7:50 am._

Once her mother asked Milo to leave her alone with her body, Jackie couldn’t help but stare at her in awe. The last time they saw each other, Pam had called her a brute for still not be engaged to Milo and had used the old fashioned, ‘you are not getting any younger’, to sell her words.

Disgusted and half crying, she had yelled to Pam, asking her to leave her and Milo’s apartment immediately. When she didn’t move, Milo had intervened and made Pam disappear from Jackie’s sight.

Now, she was sitting in front of her bed, one hand grabbing hers and her eyes as vacant as always until Milo left the room and the silence was interrupted by a heavy breathing, her mother looked like having an attack and Jackie jumped to help her.

“Mom?” she put a hand on her back, and Pam’s hand flied to her face, covering her eyes before the rough movement of her chest smoothed into an ugly crying Jackie had never seen on the woman before, not even when her father was taken to prison. “Mom?”

Jackie has never been close to her mother, not even as a child.

When she was a kid, Pam Burkhart was always working and then getting ready for the most high classed gatherings with her father. She threw fancy and adult parties for her father’s clients and associates, and Jackie soon learned she needed to behave to be in her mother’s likings.

The only times she looked at her was to tell her what to wear and how to wear it, her maximum achievement educating her girl was making her into a shallow prick, ready to rip other girls to shreds and search for the best buyer who would give her everything. A high class prostitute that only served to one man, that’s how she once felt before meeting Michael, before falling in love with Steven, and then with Milo.

Now, her mother was crying like if her life was falling apart and Jackie felt terrible at how empty it made her feel.

She couldn’t cry with her mother or feel empathy, not even happiness at the sight that her mom cared at the end. She wasn’t even angry either. She just _was_ , looking at her and waiting for this act to drop and maybe just _leave_ , because she doesn’t need her right now, she doesn’t need this drama to happen when Kat is talking to Betsy via dreams, and Steven got her a ring years ago, and he is in love with her, and she—she needs to wake up.

“Your dad told me you weren’t happy.” Pam said.

Jackie looked at her and slowly sat down in front. Her face was more visibly without the respirator and Mrs. Forman had been the sweetest trying to style her hair a little. Now her mother was rolling a lock on her finger and Jackie was feeling it. The little detail made her smile.

“I told him he was crazy, you are marrying Milo and he is the nicest guy you have ever dated!” she laughed, Jackie shook her head. At least her dad didn’t tell her about she breaking the engagement. Jackie was sure the second her mom finds out, she was dishonoring her for the rest of her life. “He is here, too, as it should be…” she caressed her hand and Jackie looked at her ghostly one, feeling it. “He is your family now, little princess. You made it big.”

_Little princess._

Her mother hasn’t call her that in years. Where her father always called her endearing names, she didn’t keep doing it once she hit puberty. Jackie’s old idea that her mother envied her was born from that, from the fact that her father called her sweet names all the time and everyone around her put more attention to her than to Pam once she was old enough to know how to keep people’s attention on her way.

It was an awful thing for a little girl to know, and nowdays it made her sick.

“I can’t stay longer,” what a surprise, Jackie stood and walked away from her mother, wishing someone would open that door and let her out, “Val has business to do in LA and he needs me to be there, he doesn’t like talking to people alone.”

“Go figure.”

“But you have to know… I will always be your mother.” She said, Jackie looked back at her. “And I will always, always, always love you at the end of the day. I only want you to be back, and happy. It doesn’t matter if you can never understand how I was educated and how I think, just know that I’m still your mom.”

Here is the thing about her condition.—Jackie walked to Pam again, this time putting both hands on her shoulders, slowly caressing her sides without any results.—It didn’t matter how little Jackie was feeling at the moment, how much other people may talk; the ‘now’ was clear and it was driving everyone to reveal how they truly felt about her. Included her mother.

“You will always be my little princess.”

Pam was a selfish woman, will always be a selfish gal. But she was still her mother, and deep down, she cared and loved her in her own, uncommon, cold way.

“I love you, Jackie. Get well soon.”

Jackie sighed, slowly leaning into her mother’s hair. “I love you too, mom.” and kissed her goodbye in the head.

This was not going to be the last time she saw her mother, Jackie decided. But for now, it was enough. She had spent years thinking mom hated her, but now she was older and looking everything on a different position. Literally. It all seemed different when the heart was exposed.

She thought of her dad, alone in prison, and the times he had tried to be a father for her ever since Milo took her to visit him, two years ago. _‘Forgive the past, Jackie’_ has been his suggestion once, and looking at her mother, Jackie sighed. And finally let it go.

******

_Point Place’s General Hospital – Waiting area. 8:13 am._

“Love, I promise it won’t takes us much. I’ll send you back here as soon as the dinner is over.”

Kitty looked between Pam and her newest acquisition, Valentin, who had paraded her all around Europe for the last year and had paid her incredibly short visit this morning. Boy, was Donna missing a great opportunity right now, and so was Steven.

 Pam kept talking about how sorry she was for leaving, but her occupations needed attendance and Kitty understood her boyfriend had paid for her visit in order to take her for some gathering. This lifestyle sounded tiresome to her, she wondered if Pam ever felt trapped on her own game.

“Kitty?” Pam called, she smiled at her out of courtesy and listened. “Here’s our hotel’s number, you think you could call me if something else—comes along? Or something?”

“Of course, dear.”

The woman smiled at her, it was a new thing to find actual shame on her face but Kitty said nothing else. “Thank you.”

She wondered if it was just for this, or for all these years in general. It didn’t mattered, really. Jackie should see this, even with her mother’s strange way of showing affection, Jackie should know she cared on some level.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow night, anyway. But—just in case.”

“Just in case.” Kitty nodded.

This woman was unbelievable, but she couldn’t help and wish she will be true to her word and return to her daughter soon.

******

_Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s Room. 8:45 am._

Steven wasn’t in the room when absolutely everyone else entered. Neither were Donna and Eric. Jackie wondered for a second if her friends were finally getting some sleep, and if Steven had gone to confirm what Betsy had told him.

In fact, she truly didn’t judge him for not believing in the little girl’s words. She would have called Brooke and Michael immediately if the girl told her something like that in normal circumstances. But this? A ghost in the room where her body rested and all the people that mattered to her sat down to around, waiting for her to wake up? Not exactly her idea of normal and common.

“Oh!” Brooke exclaimed, everyone looked at her and Betsy stopped reading to her and Jess. “Baby’s kicking!”

“Oh! Let me, let me!” Mrs. Forman run to put her hand on Brooke’s belly and everyone around moved to do the same when she laughed happily.

Jackie smiled seeing Fez and Betsy fighting to be the next ones to feel the baby’s kick after Michael put his head over it, laughing like she never saw him before at the fact that his baby was moving.

She sat down at her body’s side, watching the scene unfold in front of her with a smile until it dropped.

This should be different.

All of them should be at The Formans’, probably in the kitchen or down at the basement, waiting for lunch hour to come and fill Mr. Forman’s ears with their bullshit. She should be going around with Donna, getting ready for the big day. Everyone already aware of what happened with Milo, Fez making plans to get her a new man, Michael being an idiot about it and the wedding theme, Eric snapping bad and awkward jokes about it, Steven avoiding her eyes.

Or, well. He was in love with her, right? He said he was going nowhere. Was that sudden bravery because of this, or was he already planning on doing _something_ before this happened? And what was she going to do about it, anyway?

Jackie didn’t have time to keep questioning herself, every adult in the room was still around Brooke and Jess when she noticed Betsy sneaking out of the room in silence. So she followed her little goddaughter, wondering in what moment Brooke and Michael will notice their little one had fled the room.

They walked until Jackie realized she was going to Harley’s room again and her heart beat faster.

By now, she understood her soul felt these things but her body didn’t show them. So all preoccupations about having everyone wondering why her heart’s rate suddenly went nutts had died—right. Not a good time to talk about death.

The little girl knocked on the door once they stood in front, they waited for it to open or not, and Betsy knocked again until one of Harley’s aunts opened and smiled down at her.

“Hello.” she said.

Betsy smiled at her. “Is Harley there?”

“Yes.” she answered, “And who are you?”

“A friend. My name it’s Betsy.” she said, Jackie took a peek inside, a doctor was checking on Harley and two nurses were moving machines around. What was going on there? “Is she awake?”

What? Jackie looked at the woman for clarification. “Where are your parents?”

“In god-mommy’s room.” she signaled the way they came from. “She’s still sleeping, but I was told to see Harley.”

“Who—“

“Is she awake?”

The woman moved her head to one side, giving Jackie more chance to see what was going on inside. Betsy talked about how her parents were friends with Kat, rest in peace, and that she wanted to know about Harley so the girl wouldn’t be alone. Her little goddaughter was an angel, and Jackie hoped her parents appreciate her and worshipped her forever.

“Hey, Bets.”

Jackie looked at her side, Steven was calling Betsy with a calmer expression and his sunglasses back on. He had also changed his clothes, his denim jacket was nowhere to be seen and instead he had on a dark blue blazer, that black gabardine from November in one arm. Was he going somewhere?

“God-daddy!” she run to his arms and Steven carried her, looking at Harley’s aunt now. “I came to see Harley!”

“I supposed so. Good morning.” he greeted the older woman. “I’m sorry, she just keeps getting bored back in the other room.”

“It’s… fine.” she answered. “You knew our Kat, right?” he nodded. “I remember you... yesterday.”

“I’m sorry for your lost, Mrs. …”

“Brenda, just Brenda; it’s fine.” she answered, Jackie looked between them and then to the nurses leaving the room. With the machines. “We just—Harley just—“

“No.” Jackie said after listening to those words, going inside with her heart already on her throat as Aunt Patty cried, the doctor explaining something she didn’t heard.

Jackie heard first Betsy’s impressed gasp, then her own as she stood in front of Harley’s bed with wide open eyes. It wouldn’t surprise her if she passed out now, these two days has been a reckless hard trip and now Harley—

“We don’t even know how or why, she just—“ Brenda laughed, Jackie walked slowly to the girl laying on the bed. “But it’s a good thing, right?”

“Of course it is.” she heard Steven said. “Maybe—“

“Harley?” she murmured.

“We can come back later, when you are less overwhelmed and sure everything is in order.”

“Sure, she would love that.”

Harley was wide awake.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: That night out in New York continues in the past, while Hyde deals with new visits in the hospital and the rest of his mission. Donna and Eric arrive with better news.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	13. Loving Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night out in New York continues in the past, while Hyde deals with new visits in the hospital and the rest of his mission. Donna and Eric arrive with better news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you all have an excellent weekend with your loved ones and get many gifts each! 
> 
> So, due to the holidays, there won't be a chapter next week. I'm very sorry, but I need a break.This chapter is dedicated to the few people who left a review in the last three chapters, and to all my new friends since I joined this fandom. It's been an experience.
> 
> Please, if you still like this story, review it. It's really sad how much the response has lowered. It really makes me sad...
> 
> Especial thank you to my beta and friend, NannyGirl, who is amazing and just the best, she is the B E S T. Thank you for your help and for always support me, Prissy!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/154882442160/heart-like-yours-chapter-xiii-loving-hope) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XIII – Loving Hope**

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Harley’s room. 9:52 am._

Jackie had decided to stay with Harley, hear how things were for her.

The doctor and nurses had taken her aunts away, needing space and privacy to run some tests on the girl. Later, they would be taking the girl to other places and run more tests, but right now it seemed—it seemed she had no memory of the accident, of who these women were, and her own mother.

Harley wasn’t talking either, from what the aunts had said, she wasn’t a talkative kid anyway but this was weird enough for the doctor to call a psychologist and later announce their theory about small brain damage for her age and the time she had been sleeping, and the knock on her head.

She wondered if this is why Kat had been desperate enough to reach for help from a little girl.

Back at her room, visitations were a thing and she had heard Fez talking about Caroline’s condition and his little fight with Eric. His friend was also informing her about the things she didn’t hear from the waiting room, like that Eric and Donna were at The Formans’ and Hyde had left to do stuff he didn’t talk to anyone about.

Jackie had heard them all enter and leave her room, Milo barely stood near her body anymore and Mrs. Forman kept talking excitedly about how having Harley awake was a good signal, that she was going to wake up soon too.

That loving hope, Jackie wanted to held it with her as she observed Harley stare at the empty pages they had left for her to draw. She was alone now and the little girl kept only looking at the pages until she took one and started to tear it from the tips, taking a line and ripping until a piece was in her hand.

Slowly and carefully, she pushed every line of her piece until they all formed a little star. She didn’t smile or look at it for long, she went directly to do more and Jackie sat down watching her work.

“Harley?” she said, her hands caressed her hair, the girl kept doing her stars. “What’s going on, baby?”

A couple or nurses entered the room with her aunts again, _‘We will be right back, darling’_ Mrs. Forman said in her room and Jackie wondered who was leaving with her. Mr. Forman surely. Bob? Maybe. Fez? No, he was still holding her hand, _‘None of us had breakfast, Milo offered to buy some for everyone and Red is now running behind him to stop him’_ , Fez told her and she smiled.

Milo, he always wanted to please everyone. He had this weird way, he always wanted to pay for everyone’s stuff and feed people. Martha, his mother, once told her it was because Lawrence’s punishments were to make him skip meals, so even having so much money in the family, Milo had spent entire days without food. So now, the second he saw someone not eating at their hours, he always brought food for them.

 _‘Traumas are powerful’_ , his sister once told her. Maggie was a special educator for kids with different capacities a psychologist too, and she always tried to explain her the little strange details of her brother’s behavior.

They were interviewing Harley again, but she kept her mouth shut and her eyes lingered over every person in the room, like searching for something or someone else.

 _‘It can makes us do things our mind think are okay and normal, but to other people are certainly not’_ , Maggie had said, _‘It also makes us sensible to other people’s traumas._ ’ and in the present, she sat down in front of Harley and waited. _‘Milo can’t stand someone not eating because he knows what hunger is like, but it goes bigger in his mind because he attached emotional layers to it.’_

“Mommy?”

Jackie blinked a couple of times, the women in the room looking at each other to find an answer. This was the first time Harley talked, her voice sounded dry and small.

 _‘What we can do is understand it and learn to live with it, because in a way, it will never go.’_ Maggie had said, _‘But believe me, at the end it all gets better. You just have to keep going.’_

“She…”

“Darling,” one of the nurses started, “I need to make some questions. Would you answer for me?” Harley blinked a couple of times, then nodded. “Good! What is your name?” they stood in silence, Harley looked at everyone around her like searching for the answer. “No?” she didn’t say anything again, and the nurse wrote it down. “How old are you?” again, they waited for her to say something but there was no answer.

Who’s your mommy? Where do you live? Do you know who these women are? No answers. With every silence, Jackie’s spirit felt smaller and smaller, until there was only cold.

******

_November 14, 1982. New York City – El Ganadero Restaurant & Bar. 10:17 pm._

“So, this place belongs to your ex-boyfriend and we are still enjoying your girlfriend privileges. Aren’t you freaking ashamed of yourself, Alice?” Morgan said and Jackie smiled a little.

“Oh, ask for the bill and we can spend the rest of the night searching for another restaurant if that’s what you want.” Alice answered, followed by a bunch of ‘uhs’ from their other friends.

She looked at Hyde at her side, he was finding this amusing and she smiled to herself. She needed to be calm down about this. Hyde was her friend, too. Having him getting to know her new friends wasn’t such a big deal, but her heart seemed to not register that information correctly.

“That’s not what I meant!” Morgan said, “I’m just saying—poor Bruce is probably asking himself what he did wrong, and we are here eating his fancy beef cuts and drinking his also fancy wine, older than us.”

June rolled his eyes. “He did nothing wrong, it’s just our friend here—“ Alice looked at him with that famous frown of hers. “Needed some freedom, because who didn’t hear when I told her that dating an older man is not an option if she only wants to spend the time fooling around?” he put a hand over his ear, like wanting to hear better.

“Rolo!” Morgan, Vic and Jackie answered, Hyde laughed at her side.

“Who didn’t hear when I told her the guy will obviously want a formal thing, marriage deal and children included?” he put his hand on his ear again.

“Rolo!” they answered once more.

“That’s right! I did!” he looked at Alice, who was drinking her enormous wine cup in three gulps. “You know how awkward parties at Jackie’s will be now? Bruce is Milo’s best friend!”

Jackie smiled at that. While she was here having dinner and fun with her friends, Hyde included, Milo was probably listening to Bruce’s cries about Alice on a calm bar with jazz music or something. Alice sighed and looked at her like asking for help, she only shrugged.

“Damn.” Hyde said, leaving his cup on the table and looking at Alice. “You were dating Santoro!”

Jackie opened her eyes wide, how did he knew Bruce? “You know him?”

“Yeah, went a couple of times with Harrington while we were working.” he answered, then looked back at Alice. “This place belongs to Santoro?”

“Yeah, family chain!” Vic answered for her, “Directly from Mexico!” she smiled. “So… you worked directly with Milo for the stores, uh?”

“Yeah.” he answered, “Me and my sister.”

“Oooh, there’s a sister!” June said and Jackie smiled wide when she noticed Hyde’s tensed body. “Wonder if she’s as petty as her brother?” Jackie and the girls laughed, her hand softly landed over his thigh.

“Yeah, and she’s not in the market.”

June opened his eyes wide, then looked at Hyde offended, one hand dramatically over his chest. “Honey, I’m gay.”

“What?”

All the women broke into an amused laugh, Hyde’s eyes had gone wide and almost white while June pretended to be more offended that he could actually be. Jackie put a hand over Hyde’s arm, trying to explain to him, but her laughter didn’t let her even breath.

“Oh, my god. Jackie, I’m so offended.” June told her, Jackie nodded still laughing. “You know what this mean? It means my mission in life has failed, I don’t bring enough gay vibe!”

“Don’t yell that!” Morgan kicked his shin under the table and he frowned. “You know how people are here, shut up.” But then, she kept laughing.

“Man, I’m sorry.” Hyde said, but he had a smile on his face and Jackie bit her bottom lip, stopping her laughter.

“Ugh, it’s fine!” he said, “I’m just trying to meet you, all I know about you is you have the name of literature bad boy, have a thing for tiny girls dancing Led Zeppelin songs without clothes.”

“June!” she kicked him under the table now, this time he actually felt the kick and almost cried.

“Calm down, Bella, at least he is not saying the nasty parts.” Victoria said and Jackie eyed her to shut up. She knew too much, she didn’t like Hyde because of her, and maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring him here with these people after all. “Not like if people don’t change, right? Nice pin.”

Hyde looked down at his black suit’s coat and then at her, nodding. “It matches your tie clip and cuffs… oh! Look at the ring! Morgan, look at the ring!” June said, Morgan looked down at Hyde’s hand and extended hers to take it. He barely let her take his, but allowed it anyway. “Oh my god, it all matches!” then he looked at him, tilting his head. “I’m going to judge you so hard if you made sure it all match by your own, but so hard, your grand grandchildren will still hear it.”

Hyde chuckled, taking back his hand when Morgan smiled at him, Jackie looked up and waited for his answer. “No, it’s all my grandmother’s work.”

“I’m judging you even more.” June answered, Vic laughed at Jackie’s side.

“Absolutely, but my grandma is cooler than all of us together. You’ll love to have her to fix your clothes if you knew her.”

“Oh, now I’m curious.” Vic said. “I know your father.”

Jackie opened her eyes and looked at her friend, asking once more for her to shut it. Yes, Vic knew both, WB and Angie, but the last thing she wanted was her friends getting into Hyde’s life this way.

“Yeah?” he said, “You know Izzy?”

“Nope, but I know her club.” she smiled, “That’s one hell of place.”

For the way Hyde smiled, Jackie understood he agreed. Well, maybe it wasn’t that bad.

“Izzy, as in Izzy Barnett?” Alice asked Vic, she nodded. “Holy shit, but you are white!”

“ALICE!” they all said over Hyde’s laugh.

“What? I’m half Asian, I can ask crap like that.” she said, then looked at Hyde. “So, adopted?”

Hyde shook his head, he didn’t seem mad with the conversation and Jackie stopped to give it a thought. Alice was always commenting about racism in the richest circles of the town, and their school; could Hyde get some of that crap, too? What about his family?

“My mother is white.”

“You are biracial, too! How cool. I have a cousin whose white passing, he sometimes hates the world.”

“Who doesn’t?” he said, then nodded. “I just got in contact with this part of my family, but it still gets me by surprise… having to be polite to assholes.”

“Cheers!” their cups met and Jackie sighed in some kind of relief, this night seemed out of a dream.

He wasn’t putting a face to the conversations, nor wanting to excuse himself to leave them. It seemed like he wanted to be here, and maybe he did. Maybe the idea of spending more time back at the store’s opening was too terrible to reject this dinner, or maybe there was something else on his mind, something making him stay right here, at her side, talking about his work and his family.

This was wrong, the way she was feeling.

Jackie was excited about this change, about the fact that she could touch him and survive the rest of her feelings, actually happy of not having to imagine his face as they talked. She just saw him in September, but it had felt like years, and tonight he was real, present at her side, warm and comfy.

“We have actually heard a lot about you.” June said over dissert, Hyde looked up at his face. He wasn’t eating his tiramisu, only playing with it and his spoon. “Jackie appreciates you a lot.”

“Well, he is one of my oldest friends.” she replied with a smile. “Hyde also helped me through a really hard time for me, and deep down, he is cute and sweet.”

“Crap, woman.” he answered, June was smiling with something she didn’t like. “Stop saying I’m cute, I ain’t a kitten.”

“Oh god, say that again, please.” June said, Vic started to laugh at his side. “I’m so gonna call you _kitten_ now.”

“Shh, we already have one name for him!” Vic said, her cheerful tone was almost scary. “Right? Tra—“

******

“TRAINER!”

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Waiting Area. 10:13 am._

Hyde looked up from his hands, he hadn’t heard that voice in weeks but the name remained with him ever since this chick chose it for him.

Vic was walking fast to him, Rolo behind her. He half expected to see the whole group, Alice complaining about Point Place’s weather and Morgan saying she already knows everything about the town. But only them were here and he wondered why they were running to him and not—

“Oh, I’m so sorry for all this!”

Alright. Hyde kind of hugged Vic back, she was really a handsy person it seems. Rolo smiled at him when he looked for help, and once Vic left him, he shook his hand and both looked at him, expecting.

“She’s fine, or that’s what the doctors say.” he sighed. “Hasn’t woken up.”

“Fuck.” Vic exclaimed, one hand on her forehead. She started to walk to one side and another on a little space, Rolo put an arm around her shoulders and cuddle her to his chest.

“Calm down, she wouldn’t like you getting anxious.”

“I can’t help it! Last time I saw her, we were drooling over Marlo Brando on TV, not in a fucking coma!”

He almost laughed at that, imagining Jackie and this crazy woman talking about Brando. Rolo shook his hand, and they soon asked to get into Jackie’s room. He hadn’t been there since last night, and after all that happened this morning—no, he wasn’t ready for that.

But Milo was nowhere to be seen, and they didn’t know anyone else in the hospital. Jackie would hate him if he didn’t accompany her friends, they had been nice to him back in November and he didn’t have reasons to not return the favor to them. So, he walked them to the room and opened the door to find Kelso and Betsy putting stickers on the bed’s wall.

“What are you two doing?” he said, Fez was holding Jackie’s hand and Brooke was writing down something. “Are those glowing stickers?”

“Yes!” Kelso answered. “We found them in the gifts store, and Betsy thought it was a good idea to put them for Jackie.”

“God-mommy will like them!” Betsy said.

“Oh, you must be little Betsy!” Rolo leaned towards her, she smiled at him. “Hi, I’m Rolo.”

“Hi!”

“Uh…” Brooke looked at them, Hyde moved to make the introductions.

“These are Jackie’s friends from New York.” he started, “June Roland and Victoria…”

“Franco.” she finished, taking Brooke’s hand. “I remember you! You were at Milo’s birthday with your hubby—you! You are the husband! Michael, right?”

“That’s me!” he smiled. “Hey, Rolo!” and the man waved his hand at him.

“You know them, then?” Hyde asked, Fez shrugged and shook his head. “Oh, and this is… Fez.”

“Fez?” Rolo walked towards him, Fez offered his hand.

“Name too long and too strange to pronounce. Fez is good.”

“Rolo,” he smiled and then signaled at Vic. “and this is Victoria.”

“Vic it’s fine!” she answered, shaking Fez’s hand and then looking at Jackie. “Oh, whoever fixed her hair has my love.”

“Mrs. Forman.” Fez answered as Vic took his place, sitting beside Jackie with Rolo behind her. “They just took away the breather, the doctor said it’s a good sign that she is breathing on her own now.”

“I’m glad.” Vic said, but she sounded far away from here. Jackie had that effect on everyone right now. “Hey, you…” she murmured, Jackie’s hand between her fingers.

“We—“ Brooke started, Kelso had basically run to her side to help her. “We can leave you alone if you want?”

“Oh, no!” Vic said. “No, no. It’s fine, really. We don’t want to disturb any of you.”

“It’s fine, I need to do a call anyway. And this little lady and I will also bring some balloons, right?” Fez said, talking to Betsy at the end, she nodded happily. “We’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.” Brooke smiled at him. “Betsy! Don’t run from your uncle, I don’t want you wandering the hospital again. If you do it again, you’re staying at your grandma’s, you hear me?”

“Yes, mommy…” she answered with an innocent expression, last time Hyde found her out of the room alone, Brooke almost had a heart attack.

“You should eat something.” Kelso talked to Brooke. “Why don’t we go for something?”

“Milo is there and I don’t want him trying to pay our food…”

Vic laughed at that. “Oh, damn. He does that here, too.” she looked at Jackie’s face. “That guy’s crazy, Bella.”

“You have to eat!” Kelso insisted. “Let’s go… oh! We can go outside the hospital! Let’s get Betsy and go.”

“Where is Jess?” Hyde asked, the kid wasn’t anywhere to be seen and his parents weren’t talking about him.

“Poor Mr. Forman got attacked by him, hasn’t let him go in all morning since we came.” Brooke answered, Hyde tried not to laugh at that, but it was impossible. “Hush! Don’t be mean!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just—you have to accept it, it’s kind of funny. He can’t say no to Jess, but I’m sure he is dead inside.”

“I think being around the kids is returning him from the dead.” she answered, walking to the door with Kelso’s hands on her shoulders, like when they were in kindergarten and went out the school. “You want something?”

“No, man. I’m fine…” he sighed, looking back at Jackie. Now that the respirator was gone, her face was more visible, the purple bruises distracted him too much and he just—couldn’t stay here. But he also wasn’t feeling like doing guard outside. “I’ll stay here.”

“Good, that’s good.” she smiled. “We’ll be back in a sec, and I hope by the time we are back, you are finally willing to explain to me what you and my daughter are up to.”

“I told you!” he said. “Nothing. I just found her in the kid’s section, didn’t know she was going to be there.”

“That’s super weird, Hyde.” Kelso announced. “What were _you_ doing in the kid’s section?”

“Uh…”

Brooke signaled him. “You two have been weird, and you are going to tell me what’s up when I come back.”

He heard the other two’s laugh as his friends left the room, his arm extended almost by instinct, leaving the door wide open. Hyde took a look around to pretend he was just checking for more people, not that he wanted the door open as Betsy had say earlier this morning. Just in case Jackie was really here, just in case she needed it.

******

_Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s Room. 10:22 am._

She had recognized Vic and June’s voices back in Harley’s room, and while Jackie hated to leave the girl and her aunts, she also wanted to see her friends.

Milo had told her they were coming, in fact, he had said everyone was coming. But at the end, she wasn’t so surprised Alice couldn’t come, she was in China for the holidays after all; while Bruce, Milo’s best friend, he probably had other things to do. He knew by now she and Milo weren’t together anymore, so there he had it easy to decide.

Who was weirdly not here was Morgan. Maybe if she stays enough with—Steven had the door open, she wondered if he had listened to Betsy or was really checking something out. As she walked, Jackie couldn’t help but look at his face. Poor man was tired, but there was something glowing in his eyes and she wondered if whatever he did outside had helped him look more… relaxed.

“Dear, you are so gonna hate the purple marks on your face…” June was, in fact, caressing her face and Jackie looked at her friends.

“June!” Vic slapped his hand. “Don’t do that!”

“Awn, woman. I’m not doing anything bad…”

Jackie smiled at them, walking to sit at her head’s side and watch them. Sighing, she saw them fight a little about June touching her bruises and Steven closed the door, going to sit on the blue couch without a word. He was too silent even for him, she had the idea that maybe he had liked her friends. But maybe it was just that, an idea.

Later, as Vic let her know she had all her stuff in her apartment, Steven looked up. Yeah, he didn’t knew that. She was living with June and Victoria now; when she left the city, she asked her friends to make sure everything that was left in Milo’s apartment was delivered at theirs. A three people apartment sounded crazy, but in New York, _six_ people apartments was normal. Especially if those people were students like them.

“Uh, guys?” he called, both her friends looked at him. Steven was standing now, but refused to look at her body. “No one knows Jackie and Milo…” he did a funny sign with his fingers, something splitting, and she smiled. June arched an eyebrow. “You know…”

“No one?” Vic looked at him with shock. “Milo didn’t, like, cry to everyone about it?”

He looked like wanting to laugh but didn’t, only nodded. “No, he didn’t. It’s fine, Jackie’s insurance exists thanks to him, so I thought—for the time being, not say anything. So, please?”

Vic sighed, nodding. June seemed to think about it a little, but let it go with an empathetic smile. “You must be dying inside.”

Her friend slapped June’s stomach, but she moved her head to one side. “Don’t bother him now, let the poor guy alone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Aww, honey!” June sat down again. “A blind man can see you have feelings for Jackie!” and Vic slapped his arm this time. “Ouch, stop that!”

“Leave the poor guy alone.” she said, then looked at her face. “We have a terrible friend, Bella. Don’t worry, I’ll protect the poor Trainer.”

“Hey, I’m right here.” Steven said, suddenly taking a chair and putting it at her other side, right in front where she was sitting. She smiled at him and looked between them as they talked.

A little surreal but not unwelcomed, she saw them get along without her and happily realized this could work, this could happen. Her two worlds were now colliding and no disasters were happening, so maybe, if she makes it through this one, and things go her way, maybe she wouldn’t have to say goodbye to any of the portions she was now.

New York was still her life.

That’s the city where her things and her school are, where uncle Barney had accepted to take her father next year if his condemn was reduced as they appealed a few months ago, where she had her new friends and wanted to get a job.

She loved the people at Point Place, even when the town was haunted by her past and her sorrow, her shadow waiting for her to walk at her side again, but—to completely come back, it felt like a defeat.

At some point she should find something to have both worlds with her, find what was it that made her life suddenly cold in the city during these past months.

Maybe the answer was sitting right in front of her, calling her friends by their nicknames and explaining her situation, using words and expressions like ‘hopefully’ and ‘I’m sure’, smiling and laughing, even with the apparent big weight on his shoulders.

“Holding up.” he answered to June asking how he was taking all this, then Steven moved his head and sighed. “It’s going to be fine.”

Jackie smiled at him, she didn’t realized she had stand up as the door opened and a too happy Eric came in. “Good morning, everyoneeeeeeeeeeeee!” he greeted, Donna was behind him shaking her head, walking inside with a laughing Morgan and an equally delighted Noah.

“Eeeeriiic!” Vic and June singed with big smiles.

But she sat down on Steven’s lap, and he didn’t move. He smiled at Donna who wished him a good day, and who then moved to say ‘hi’ to everyone else. So Jackie sat down on his lap, and stayed there, watching her friends being together, sharing laughs and smiles.

When Milo appeared with everyone else behind, she laughed at his face while Vic hugged him and Eric hurried them to sit and listen to him. For Donna’s face, she knew what was coming and couldn’t wait to see everyone’s reaction to the news.

Betsy sat down on Steven’s lap, right at her side like if she knew she was there too. For a second she wanted to see that imagine, of Steven sitting with her and a little girl on his lap, laughing at the way no one listened to Eric and Michael fought Mr. Forman to give him back his son.

“Alright, shut it!” Donna said, standing in the middle of the commotion.

Every pair of eyes were on her now, and the attention make her suddenly shy. Her cheeks turned red, and Eric passed an arm around her shoulders; Jackie smiling seeing this and waited. He was laughing, but the clean of his pants and the wide of his shoulders remained Jackie that he had grown up. That they had grown up. And they were going to be parents now.

“Well, turns out…” he started, his laugh interrupting his words. Eric was nervous as hell. “Uhm…”

“Just say it, Forman.” Steven said, his false annoyance only made everyone smile and some of them laugh.

“Ammm…” Donna looked at Eric and he looked back, shrugging before laughing again.

“Oh, please, you two didn’t got married while we were here. Right?” Mrs. Forman asked holding her bag with her food.

All of them where holding one, except Steven who had given his to Vic. Bob had explained he, Michael and Mr. Forman got Milo to let them pay for theirs, Mrs. Forman’s, Betsy’s, Brooke’s, Fez’s and Steven’s.

He only paid for Eric’s, Donna’s, Morgan’s and Noah’s, when they appeared. But they forgot to mention Vic and June, and before he could go out again and buy two more, Donna had made them all sat and listen to her and Eric.

“No!” Eric answered quickly. “No, no, no. None of that! Better!”

“Better?” Mrs. Forman frowned.

“Oh, no…” Steven murmured, but when Jackie looked at his face, he was grinning.

So she stood as the pair in the middle looked at each other again and sighed with a smile, Steven had started to stand too.

“What could be better than…? OH!” Mrs. Forman started to move her hands, jumping to Donna while standing. “You—you are…!”

“I’m pregnant!”, “Donna is pregnant!” they said at the same time.

“Aaaaaaaaah!” Mrs. Forman hugged Donna and Jackie started to laugh while everyone else seemed to still be in shock. It wasn’t until Steven’s _‘you little shit!’_ hug to Eric and then Donna, that the rest of the room realized the news and surprised expressions filled the place.

She stood behind, clapping and jumping happy at her body’s side. The cold from minutes ago was still there, but the warm of this room was winning over it somehow. Jackie saw everyone congratulate her friends, people touching Donna’s still flat stomach, even Milo and her friends seemed excited for the news.

Back in august, the couple had gone to New York for Milo’s birthday and met her new friends. Odd enough, Eric already knew Morgan, since he met her fiancé during his trip to Africa. Noah was a nature photographer, and had the opportunity to form a friendship with Eric years before Jackie even gave it a thought to live in New York.

Now, they all laughed together.

Michael had hugged Eric’s neck from behind, almost sending him to the ground if it wasn’t for Steven holding him with an arm around his shoulders, Fez to his other side. Like if time hasn’t happened and they had just saw each other again at school after a long weekend.

Donna was looking at her body, and Jackie followed her as she walked to sit down where Vic was before.

“Well, where did this come from?” she took the Betsy’s grasshopper from her bed and examine it. “Whoever you are, Jackie would love you!”

“That’s Mr. Green’s brother!” Betsy said suddenly, climbing into the bed to talk to Donna.

Jackie blinked a couple of times, did her goddaughter have two of the same doll?

“Brother, uh? You brought it for Jackie?”

“Nope!” she answered with a big smile. “God-daddy did!” she said, Jackie had probably the same surprised expression Donna did in that moment.

She looked at Steven talking to Eric, Fez and Michael, then back at her friend and goddaughter, Vic and Brooke were walking back at them.

“You want to know a secret, aunt Donna?” she blinked a couple of times, Brooke put a hand on her shoulder but Betsy jumped to the ground and walked to say near Donna’s ear: “God-daddy loves god-mommy! Like papa loves mommy!”

“Betsy!” Brooke said, but Donna was smiling and Vic was laughing, sitting on the bed and caressing her leg.

“What? It’s true!” she crossed her arms and made a pout.

So. Everyone knew that? Was she the only one who Steven hadn’t tell her the news? Jackie sighed and looked at the scene again. The cold was back, something behind her gave but every time she turned around, there was nothing but the wall. White, white wall.

“Oh, my god!” Vic said. “Which one is the broken leg?”

“Don’t worry, is the other one.” Donna said, Vic sighed and continued caressing her leg. Jackie laughed at that. “I’m glad you guys are here.”

“Of course we would be here!” she smiled. “Our friend Alice couldn’t make it, she travelled to China for the winter break, and well—she doesn’t have much money to come back like this.”

“Understandable.” Brooke said with a hand on her belly. “Where are you staying?”

Donna was still holding Steven’s grasshopper, when Eric called her, she gave it to Betsy and the little girl run to put it back at her side. Jackie looked at it, it wasn’t like a cartoon but It wasn’t quiet the real animal either. Its big black eyes looked funny, but Steven’s voice was everything she could think about while looking at it.

 _‘Grasshopper?’_ he had called her after he finished the song on the phone, months ago. _‘Jackie?’_

 _‘I’m here…’_ was her answer, she had started crying back then and this time, she only swallowed and looked at Steven smiling to his friends. _‘Hyde? I’m here.’_

_‘Are you okay?’_

_‘Yeah, yeah, I’m… I just—‘_

Something at her back again, and the cold. Nothing was there, just white and another memory. Was this everything she was now? Memories? Was she supposed to live only of that?

_‘I miss you… I miss you so much, Hyde—I really miss you…’_

Steven had let her cry on the phone that night, had listened to her crying and said nothing after her little breakdown but the truth. He had only said the truth every time they saw each other after she rejected him, but if they were only little details and warm memories, then what?

_‘Jackie, it’s okay. Calm down, you are not al—‘_

_‘You don’t miss me?’_

_‘Jackie…’_

_‘Oh. I’m sorry, I—oh my god, Hyde, I’m so sorry. I’m—‘_

_‘I do. Jackie, I miss you. Every day.’_

It made her happy and some kind of excited that day, it still had that effect today. But right now, she looked at the wall and then at her friends. Her father was locked down, not able to see her; and her mother? In LA, with her new boyfriend, no matter that she may die.

God.

She may die.

Right now, in this second or maybe tomorrow. No one was sure. Her body was able to breath by its own, and she was still trapped here. Harley had woken up, no memories for the little girl but the sensation that something was off, that someone was missing. What about her? What awaited for her?

_‘Hyde?’_

_‘Yes?’_

She walked to him, tugged on the tip of his black blazer and nothing happened. He kept talking animatedly with Eric and Fez, Michael was now with his family, Jess on his arms at least.

_‘Do you think we will be able to be friends one day? Like, for real friends?’_

_‘I don’t think so, Jackie.’_

_‘Why?’_

He put a hand on his blazer’s pocket and Betsy hugged his leg. When he looked down, the little girl asked exactly what she wanted to know, too: “Do you found god-mommy’s ring?”

“Yeah.” he answered, the cold was gone and Jackie looked up at him while he carried Betsy with him, taking her away from the others. “Check it out, right where you said it was.” he showed her what was on his pocket, the ring shone bright between his fingers and Jackie’s heart stopped for a second.

“Can’t wait for you to wake up, Bella!” Vic said at her bed, she looked at her, then back at Steven’s fingers and—no one was seeing this! Everyone was too distracted to notice Betsy holding the biggest engagement ring Jackie has ever seen. “There’s so much to talk and see!” Vic said.

“You believe me, god-daddy?” she gave the ring back and Steven nodded, Betsy smiled at him. “Good! Are we going to help Harley?”

He sighed, nodding. “I did that call, it didn’t go so well.”

Oh no. Jackie closed her eyes, of course Harley’s dad was going to turn out to be some asshole.

“But—“ Betsy said.

“It’s fine, we’ll find another way.”

“Really?”

_‘Because all those things Sara wants… I want them. I want all of it, too. But not with her, and I miss the person I want them with. Every day.’_

“Yeah.” Steven smiled at her. “There must be something we can do…”

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Milo, Betsy and Hyde walk into Jackie’s room… There’s a reason for everything, including a heart attack and a gossip in Kitty’s kitchen.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	14. Face to Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milo, Betsy and Hyde walk into Jackie’s room… There’s a reason for everything, including a heart attack and a gossip in Kitty’s kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, everyone! I'm happy to say, we are at 7 chapters to end this story. 7 weeks more and that's it. Thank you all for your support and love, I hope you enjoy all this.
> 
> This chapter was one of the first things I wrote for the story. So I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you guys think in a comment, it would really mean a lot, I miss hearing from you!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/154882442160/heart-like-yours-chapter-xiii-loving-hope) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XIV – Face To Face**

_January 19, 1982. New York City. 07:43 am._

At this point, if he closed his eyes and then looked up, he would probably see little words all over the coffee house and over his sister. It was exhausting.

“Are you still reading?” Angie asked.

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck.”

She laughed, one finger over where she had stopped reading on the contract, and her eyes on his face. “I know you hate this and that you are lazy as the devil, but this is important. I prefer to read all the thigh corners than lose money.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t be this crazy about it if it wasn’t such a crazy idea. Even WB thinks so.”

“Steven,” her voice sounded firm, a little bit louder than before, and Hyde looked into her eyes, “this was your goddamn idea. I’m just doing the job good.”

“My idea?” he laughed. “My idea was to put another store together, not to buy someone’s stores from the competition and make them into Grooves.” Angie rolled her eyes and continued reading, so he just added: “That was your evil plan.”

“My evil plan is to open more stores. We just got a good opportunity maybe too soon.”

“So that’s why you are so crazy about the little words in the contract… s.” he added when he found the rest of the paper they were supposed to read, then sighed. “You don’t trust Harrington, don’t you?”

Angie looked up again, taking her time to answer. “Do you?”

There was a stain of coffee on Angie’s purse. When she discover it later, she will be angry.

The coffee shop they were waiting in was almost empty, it was fuck off o’clock in the morning during Saturday and people with common sense were still sleeping the night before. But Hyde was working, or trying to.

He was working on a Saturday morning with his sister in a goddamn coffee shop in New York.

“I do.” he realized, then took the damn paper again and started to read. “Fucking hell.”

“Jesus, Steven…” she murmured, “you can be lame when it comes to this crap.”

“Now business is crap? I thought you loved doing this paper shit.”

“I’m not talking about that.” she said, he could feel her eyes on his face, so he stayed reading as fast as he could. “I’m talking about _her_. You didn’t wanted to accept Harrington’s offer until he mentioned her and their plans—“

“I’m not doing this for her…”

“I know you don’t, but it doesn’t change the fact that she is” Hyde looked at his sister, her eyes have never been so right into him, “the answer to ‘do you trust him’ and why I’m sure you would also say ‘with my life’. It’s insane, and you need to get laid.”

“Oh, you think I don’t get laid?” he said, his sister was already laughing from his tone. “You know me and my ways, you have seen me in action.” Angie shook her head, their sibling incursions in the New York scene always ended with smooth talking at a bar or, if she won the night’s shift to ride the rented car, a club. “What you want me to do is get hitched and give you a way out so Izzy will stop asking when are you giving her grandchildren.”

Izzy was Angie’s grandmother. His grandmother, too. And a goddamn angel with a big love for blues and jazz, and an ex-junkie for a husband. Maybe that was why she actually liked Hyde, letting him stay in her house every time he put a foot in New York since this re-build of business started last July.

Angie sighed in defeat. “Damn, Izzy…” she shook her head as the front door’s bell announced another working soul entering the place. “She has been biting my ass with that since I turned _22_. These are the ‘80s! But the old lady acts like if we were in the ‘50s and I was ready to dress saints at my age and no husband.”

“Well, you only have to make Izzy understand you are a free woman…” he smirked, Angie was ready to give him the bird, “who needs no dick.”

“Oh, but the dick is good—“

“That’s…”

Both siblings looked up, Milo Harrington was standing in front of them with the most embarrassed expression Hyde has ever seen on his always smiling face. He couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Angie trying to correct what she just said.

“… An interesting part to enter the conversation.”

“I swear there is a context to that.” she said, standing and offering her hand. “Thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for accepting my idea.” Milo smiled, taking Angie’s hand. “I see you are checking all the documents again. Something’s wrong?” he offered his hand to him, Hyde shake it.

“No, just protocol.” Angie answered and Milo sat down. “So, this is our last meeting.”

Milo nodded. “ _Lawrence Sound_ will be surprised to find their old competition back in town.” His grin went bigger, he was too happy for someone who just sold his part of an important chain of music stores to their competition. “I’m glad I will be there to laugh about it, that’s the least that old man deserves.”

Jackie needed to stop falling for vengeful assholes, Hyde nodded to himself.

“Yeah, well—“ Angie sighed. “As long as you don’t get us any problems, we are fine.”

“Whatever happens, it will be my doing, not yours.” he smiled back. “Business is business, personal matters will remain that way.” Harrington smiled again, something grey in his smile has always made Hyde wonder what was behind all that, was what that thing he was so urgently hiding and if Jackie knew about it.

“You better, I don’t want a dead man in my records.” he half joked, Harrington moved his head and laughed. There it was again, the grey. “I mean it, man.”

“Noted!” he answered. “Nothing will happen, we are fine.”

He better be.

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s Room. 11:46 am._

Jackie had sat down on Steven’s lap again, listening to Vic talking to her body and then to Brooke talking about Jess’ birthday in two days. Baby boy was about to be one year old and his party was programed to be in Chicago, they were supposed to leave Point Place tomorrow to be with him in one piece and not tired for the travel on his first birthday.

But now, they had to cancel that little party and plan something different for the kid.

She looked back at her body as Mrs. Forman offered her house to do a little reunion, she was giving everyone too many problems and if for this they had changed their plans for Jess’ first birthday, she was afraid Donna and Eric would end up changing the plans of their wedding too.

At the end, it all got happily settle, even with her worries: small reunion with only family at the Formans’, then some of them will come back here. She could wake up by that day, but the fact that everyone, included Mrs. Forman, was starting to think it was unlikely, scared her out of Steven’s lap and back to facing the white wall.

“Uncle Fez, do you want to go with me and papa to the gift store?”

“Again?” Fez sighed, Jackie looked back slowly. Betsy was trying to convince Fez to move.

“Yes! We are getting balloons for god-mommy!”

“At this pace, this room it’s going to look like a party.” Bob commented, Mrs. Forman giggled at his side.

“Mr. Bob is right, pretty lady. What if Jackie doesn’t like that?”

“She will!” she looked at Brooke and Jess. “Right that she will, mommy?”

“I think she will.” was Brooke’s answer. “I’ll go with you, baby.”

“Okay!” Betsy walked back at her parents and they stood ready to leave the room. “Jess is coming too?”

“Sure, honey.” she passed the baby to Michael and together they put him on the fanny he was carrying everywhere. He looked adorable, and it seemed like that was something he could only achieve with Brooke. “Let’s go.”

“Not so fast, lady.” Fez said. “Are you sure you can be standing right now?”

“Fez, if I stay sitting one second longer, I’m going to scream.”

“Alright, Fez is going!” he said standing. “Just in case you need any help.”

“Thank you, Fezy.” she kissed his cheek, Michael was laughing behind her as he walked with Jess on his chest.

They left the room, followed by Noah, June and the girls, who also tugged Eric and Donna with them, saying they needed some air and that they wanted to bring something to her room too. Half way to the door, Noah reveled they hadn’t checked into their hotel, and Donna soon offered to drive them there, they also said something about renting a car.

Soon, Mrs. Forman left with her husband and Bob, she wanted to ask about her file again and talk to her doctor. And when Milo and Steven were the only ones staying in her room, she looked between them and realized neither was leaving, both stealing looks at the other as if waiting for them to go.

Idiots.

“Men, can’t stand one day without acting like Neanderthals.” she murmured, Jackie didn’t have the spirit to correct herself for sounding like Donna.

The silence kept creeping around for long minutes, or maybe they were just seconds but these two, it seemed like if everything, no matter what, was always going to be tense and awkward between th—

“Why did she tell you about us, but didn’t tell anyone else? She didn’t tell Donna even, but she told you…”

“Oh, no.” Jackie looked at Milo as he spoke, then at Steven who was sitting in front of her bed in the spot he has claimed as his. The door was closed, and she swallowed, realizing she was trapped here.

“If it helps you, I don’t think she actually wanted to tell me.” Steven answered.

“Not helping, Steven.” she replied.

“What?”

“Well…” he started again, trying to explain the situation. “Look, I just thought it was weird she wasn’t wearing the ring and I asked, and she just said the truth” he said. “She didn’t call me or something, it just happened.”

“But you saw her…” Milo frowned. “Why?”

“Uh…” Steven scratched at the back of his head. “She went to my grandmother’s birthday party… I didn’t invite her!” he added before Milo could say anything else. “My grandma did, they like each other and Izzy invited Jackie. It wasn’t my doing.”

Milo seemed to accept this, he didn’t continue asking for answers that Steven couldn’t actually give. He sat down in the blue couch and crossed his arms over his chest, sighing and losing his mind on his thoughts. More than ever, Jackie wanted for someone to open that door and let her out. But none of them stood up, they kept gazing at the other, waiting for the other to start the conversation again.

“I…” Milo said, then closed his mouth. “It’s nothing. Sorry.”

Steven looked at him from his spot, then at her body, his mouth become a white line before he finally looked at Milo with certain kind of empathy.

“We didn’t do anything when we saw each other, nothing is going on between us now or before. I swear.”

Milo nodded. “Jackie wouldn’t do that.”

“Exactly. So stop thinking about it, because nothing happened.”

The quantity of times he had say that in two days must be annoying, Jackie laughed to herself thinking of the kind of torture Steven was going through with all this surfacing while she couldn’t be part of the party. It was his job to be honest and open up just a tiny bit, every time he said this it become more obvious that it was still alien to him to speak his mind—and heart.

“You know, she—“ Milo said, he searched for words and then gave up. “I never told her about us working together because I didn’t wanted her going with me to the reunions or stuff like that.”

“I knew it!” she said to him.

“Because…” Milo murmured, “Because I knew, the second she saw you, it was over for us.”

“Man, don’t—“

“You were always there between us.” he said, Jackie’s spirit become pure adrenaline and suddenly, she wanted to kick Milo. How could he said that of her? “At first, she was just trying to run away from you and whatever your relationship was. Then, I was just the replacement and in between while you got better.”

“That’s not the truth…” Steven tried, but the way he said it, Jackie looked at herself, her still body, with wide open eyes. “She wanted to be with you, and she was happy with you—“

“Yeah, as long as you weren’t fine. But once you become able again, in all means, that was it.” Milo looked away. “I’m not stupid and I know you aren’t either. She was just waiting for you to be okay.”

Jackie had stopped listening to Steven trying to convince Milo it wasn’t like that, but the more she looked at her face, the more evident it all become. She had done it, isn’t it? When she saw that Steven had changed, she—

“Oh, my god!” she put a hand over her mouth. “God, I’m horrible.”

“Do you really think that? Do you really think that she was just waiting for me to get better?” Steven said, his voice raising with every word. “Then, why did she move to New York with you?” Milo’s shoulders moved with his eyebrows, his entire frame looked tense, “Why didn’t she come back with me when she gave me the medal?”, and Jackie felt herself getting smaller and smaller.

The cold had come back to her. She didn’t wanted to look at this, to hear this. She didn’t need it, she just—couldn’t watch this. This was a Steven she knew existed but never had to see. A Steven whose anger make him talk like an authority, walk like a predator, be capable of scare the hell out of the bravest of people.

“Why isn’t she with me?” And yet, he sounded hurt.

She had imagined before, how he had drove away after finding Michael in Chicago while she cried her heart out on that ugly room. That was the only time she almost witnessed that kind of anger, but she had never seen him explode. Madness driven by a broken heart, Jackie never wanted to cause that to Steven.

“You are a fucking idiot, Harrington. Stop searching for someone to blame for what happened between you and Jackie.” he said. “It’s not gonna take you anywhere. It’s not gonna bring her back to you. At all.”

She looked at Steven, he had stood and was facing Milo in front of the couch. Standing, Milo was way taller than him, but that didn’t stop him from talking like this. Jackie felt herself become smaller and smaller, sitting in a corner of her hospital bed, thinking about how this was coming from his own experience with her.

“I don’t think she did it on purpose,” Milo answered, his voice sounded normal. Jackie wondered if he was pretending or there was someone who could actually take Steven’s ugly part like something from this world, “I don’t think she even realized it.” Milo said, Jackie looked at him and tried to understand. “But it obviously had something to do with you. Like I said, you were always there.” he stood, too but didn’t look down at Steven and Steven didn’t look up at him. It almost made her smile. “I tried to not lose her by maintaining her away from our work, but look how all turned out.” he sighed. “She believes I wanted to kill my grandfather and somehow blame it to you and your family, like if I had the same beliefs as Lawrence.”

“She thinks you’re a racist?” there was something amusing on Steven’s voice and Jackie wanted to kick _him_ now.

No, she didn’t believe—well. Milo didn’t like Steven, he also didn’t like Lawrence, so she thought— Crap. She _was_ horrible.

“Yeah…” he sighed again, falling into the couch with a tense body and worried expression. “You should have seen her face, I guess… she got scared.”

A new silence settle between them, Jackie sat down at Milo’s side and tried to grab his hand, but God, she felt awful. Even if he wouldn’t feel her touching him, Jackie found herself not having the strength to do it anyway. She had hurt him beyond her own understanding and for Milo to tell all this to Steven, of all people, it must be truly killing him inside.

“You did act like if nothing happened after that old man almost died.”

“You too?” Milo looked up at him. “Man, I actually thought you would understand it.” Steven didn’t look out of place by that. “I can’t feel any kind of empathy for that man. I…” he swallowed visibly, his eyes were everywhere but on Steven as he talked next. “All he did to my sisters, to my brother. To my mom. I can’t feel anything for that man.”

She knew Old Lawrence, Milo’s grandfather, was a piece of shit.

He always looked at her from toes to head, the disgusting smile on his face making it clear the kind of garbage he was. Milo never liked to take her to family reunions when the old man was going to be there, and the snake just didn’t die, not even with all the illness in the world in his body.

She also knew he had been Milo’s worst nightmare as a child, always behind him, making him suffer in order to _make_ him a respectable man.

What had hurt Milo the most wasn’t just his granddad’s persistence on making him someone he wasn’t, but the fact that his mother had let him do it. The days without food, the ugly words _(‘useless’_ , _‘little bastard’_ , _‘fairy’_ , all in Milo’s haunted voice, she still remembered them), the beating and the cigarette burns, didn’t hurt as much as his mother allowing that man to touch him and his sisters, and his little brother.

Now, she was listening to the part he never told her, the reason why he sold all his properties of _Lawrence Sound_ to Steven and his sister at her back.

“I wasn’t planning on him having a heart attack, who the hell does people think I am?”

Steven turned away, walking back to his chair. She looked at him thinking of what to say next or how to act, realizing she wasn’t the only one who has thought this of Milo made her feel a little bit better, yet a lot more worse. Suddenly, it was so clear, that she had been waiting to find a way out, to look at Milo as villain and break up with him without having to give another excuse but his fault.

But Milo hadn’t wanted his grandfather dead, he never planned on him having the medical failure and wanting to go legal on the matter. It was something that wasn’t going to go his way, Milo’s lawyer had told them that, but the bother and the talk was there. Some damage was done. Included her relationship with Milo.

“I just wanted to get away from that. I know I can’t get away from him, he is family at the end of the day. But at least, having sold the stores, I was free of his name and his empire; he would never have me eating in his hand again.” Milo cleaned his hands on his pants, he was probably sweating. “Look how it all turned out. The damn man had a heart attack and people believe _I_ _wanted_ _it_ to happen, just because I didn’t go to the hospital to cry for him to get well. My girlfriend believed that, then of course she left me.”

“I don’t think things had gone different if you had told her since the beginning.”

“Yeah, me neither.” he laughed. “But tell that to her.”

“She can be stubborn…”

Milo laughed at that, nodding. These two agreed on her defects, it was almost embarrassing to watch. She wondered if they realized they were a lot alike sometimes, they had similar backgrounds, but where Steven had grown up with his feelings so near him, Milo had grown up cold. So cold, he didn’t even blink when his sister told him their grandfather had a heart attack.

But they both had scars in weird places, stories that sounded unreal of terrible childhoods out of horror books. Mothers that had failed them, fathers that had left, one way or another. She did had a type, Jackie realized. And it was damaged men, damaged as she was too.

“I don’t blame you about… not feeling crap for your grandfather, but it still took me by surprise.” Steven said. “And being implicated in that, it was—scary, a bit.”

“I guess so.” Milo sighed. “You don’t have to worry about that, it’s not going to proceed.” he assured him. “We are not seeing each other again, don’t worry.”

“Uh?”

Milo looked at him and smiled one of his business smiles. “Once Jackie wakes up and we are sure she is fine, I’m disappearing from her life if she wants. I know that would be the case.” he repeated what he has been telling her ever since he got here, listening to him saying that to someone else made it real and Jackie realized she didn’t want that. “Although, I’m honestly not ready for what comes next after breaking the engagement. I haven’t been myself ever since.”

Steven nodded and looked back at her body.

It would be probably terrible for Milo to see her keep going. It had made her sad to break up the engagement, she was still grieving, but after all this—she was not going to stay with crossed arms around Steven, not this time. And she knew what it felt like, to see the person you love the most making room for someone else.

Maybe having Milo near her wasn’t a good idea.

“I crave to have a heart like Michael’s.” Milo said, she looked at him and smiled. “And be her friend one day. I just don’t think that’s coming too soon.”

For now.

******

_October 31, 1982. The Formans’ kitchen, Point Place. 4:28 pm._

“He did what!?” Eric said, his mother looked at them at the table and he smiled, assuring her everything was fine. Slowly, he returned his attention to Hyde and, with Fez, they leaned to his face like sharing a secret. “What do you mean? How? Milo is like, a French puddle. He is inoffensive!”

“Well, I guess I pissed him off…” Hyde answered.

“But, he really said that? Like—that? Mean!” Fez said.

His friend sighed, nodding at their words.

Before, he had heard from Noah that, deep down, Milo had a temper. Jackie had never said a word about it, so he and Donna had got to the conclusion that maybe Milo was just hard with people that weren’t as close as she. The man was never mean, he was always smiling and was kind like a goddamn martyr, giving everything for everyone else.

Even knowing his dislike for Hyde, and understanding it, Eric never thought he would live to actually heard of Milo being impolite to him.

“You know, I’m sorry—“ Eric said, sighing. “I can’t imagine that. Of course, he didn’t truly say something bad…” Hyde arched an eyebrow. “Or a lie. It’s the way he said it.”

“I know. Listen, don’t do a big party of it. It’s okay, I asked for it.”

“You certainly did, my friend.” Fez answered.

In silence, Hyde visibly bit his own tongue and smiled at Fez. After two years of this kind of exchanges, Eric wasn’t truly sure if he was used to it or had only started to ignore it. So, like every other day, he waited for Hyde to snap back or simply suck it and accept it.

“What do you mean, Fez?” he said. Well, at least he wasn’t throwing a punch to their friend.

“Ugh, Hyde.” he sighed. “You keep calling Jackie all these sweet names in front of Milo, and he keeps smiling like this—“ Fez faked a smile, it did look like Milo’s _‘I’m tired of your shit, Hyde’_ smile and he laughed. “Of course he was going to explode one day. Thankfully, he isn’t the punching faces type, otherwise Jackie would be kicking your shins right now.”

“So this is my fault? That’s what you are saying?”

“Of course it’s your fault!” he sat completely on the chair, his mother left the kitchen to attend the door since someone was ringing their doorbell. “Argh! Hand me the bleach, Eric! I can’t believe I’m defending Milo Harrington!”

Now he arched an eyebrow, he will never understand Fez, Kelso and Brooke’s dislike of Milo. Maybe it was that he had taken Jackie away, which was funny, due to the fact they three lived in different cities. Or maybe it was that she wasn’t with Hyde anymore, and that familiar image of them all this kind of together was now ruined and someone else had entered the picture.

“Okay. Right now. Why do you don’t like Milo?” he asked. “Not you, Hyde, I already know that.”

“I don’t dislike him!”

“You do!” he and Fez answered at the same time.

Hyde sighed shaking his head, seeing him trying to pretend he was fine with Jackie being with someone that wasn’t him was kind of funny. He… loved their friend, he did. Hyde was basically his brother and will always be part of his family, but he was also aware of his crappy behavior by the end of his and Jackie’s relationship.

Eric was also aware of the person he was as he got some tan in Africa, and maybe to miss Jackie and suffer her away was life’s way of teaching him he should had never throw that stripper around her.

The woman may be the devil itself, but even the demon was an angel once and had a heart to stab. And she was his friend, at the end of the day.

“Look, the guy is weird.” Fez said. “And he has this…” he moved his fingers in the air, like bugs or something, “I don’t know—like aura, there’s something grey about him. Besides his old man talk, I mean.”

“Well, I know he is kind of cold—“

“But Mrs. Forman!” Jackie’s voice echoed in the kitchen, his mother was laughing while walking inside and the three of them looked at the girl walking behind her. “I swear, it wasn’t my intention for it to look this short! I don’t know what I’m going to do!”

“You look great, honey!” Fez said, Jackie looked at him and excitedly run to hug him when he stood. “I love this haircut, but I’m not forgiving you for letting someone else touch your hair.”

“Don’t be like that, Fezy! It was an emergency!”

“Emergency as in, _I wanted to look better than all these bitches at this party_ ; or, _I was doing gum balloons and my hair got attacked by it_?”

“Worse!” she took both his hands. “A friend burned my hair with a curler!”

A laugh exploded between him and Hyde, Jackie’s hand slapped his shoulder and he couldn’t help but laugh in her face.

“Shut up!” she said, hand in the air ready to impact on his shoulder again.

“Oh, you told them about your hair!” Milo said entering the kitchen. “Hey, guys!”

“Milo!” Eric smiled. “How are you, man?”

“Eeeeh…” he sighed. “I’ve been better.”

“Something happened?” mom asked. Milo sighed and put both hands on her shoulders.

“It’s fine, Kitty. Just… my grandfather, he is on his feet now, throwing fists to the air and calling to blame anyone for his heart attack.” Eric noticed Jackie’s little change of expression at that, she smiled at Hyde and then tugged on Fez’s hand to walk away with her. “But nothing will happen.” he said to his mother, then looked at Hyde. “Nothing will happen.”

He nodded, and Jackie left the kitchen with Fez.

“Well, I hope everything turns out just fine!” his mother said. “Steven, honey?” she looked at his friend, he smiled at her in response. “Would you mind going to the deepfreeze for the sodas? I forgot to tell Red to get them up here.”

Hyde groaned at that. “I’m… lazy… no…”

“Honey.” she put both hands on her waist and Hyde stood. “That’s my boy!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m taking one for me.”

“You do, honey!”

Milo laughed at the scene, then walked to him and sat down in front of him, on Red’s usual spot. His mother hand them beers and they simply talked about the fly from New York to Kenosha, and the little travel to Point Place. About Noah and Morgan, and their girls.

It was killing him, to ask about Lawrence and what happened with Hyde just the day before. But it wasn’t something so easy to ask, being so much with his fiancé and Jackie had made him into a gossip lover.

“You look nervous, Eric.”

“Oh.” he exclaimed, Hyde had appeared on the kitchen again and his mother left with sodas for Jackie and Fez. “No, man. I’m fine. Just… thinking.”

He looked at him for three seconds too long before smiling, and yes. There was something grey in his smile. Hyde sat down with them, soda in hand, not even looked at their beers or said anything.

“I’m going to take care of Lawrence.” Milo told him, Hyde looked at him. “I don’t want any of you to be exposed to his venom, so don’t worry about it.”

“I wasn’t worried anyway.”

“Yeah, I just thought…” he sighed. “With all the turns and turns you gave me with the papers after what happened with the old snake, I thought you may be worried about it. Or him.”

Crap. Milo was pissed.

“I’m fine.” Hyde assured him. “Hey, man. It’s Jackie alright?”

Eric looked between them, Milo gave his drink a long sip before looking at Hyde at the end. “She is.”

“You sure? Because she seemed pretty upset when you talked about your grandfather. Maybe you should talk to her.”

Milo maintained contact with his friend while his jaw got tense visibly, Eric looked at Hyde with wide open eyes. What the fuck was he doing? But the older guy just smiled at him, his finger playing with the neck of his beer.

“Of course I’m sure.” he answered. “I told you before, I know my fiancé.” he smiled, it was one of the most horrible smiles Eric has ever seen and he wondered if Jackie was truly the devil or she had just become the girlfriend of the evil himself. “If there’s something you want to tell _me_ , I’m here. I’m not hiding.”

Hyde’s hand landed on the table, a rough sound making it clear he wasn’t in the mood for any kind of games and Eric prepared himself to stop whatever kind of crap they were about to start. But Jackie entered the kitchen running with Fez and Donna, their laughs made the tension disappear and when she sat down on Milo’s lap, and his arm rounded her waist protectively, he understood what Fez and Kelso, and probably Hyde saw in him.

“Are you okay?” Jackie murmured to her fiancé, he smiled up at her and nodded. “You sure? Your hands are cold.”

“Beer.” he showed her the bottle. “Want some?” she nodded, taking the drink and giving it a sip.

When Eric’s eyes followed back at his friend’s face, Hyde was staring at the scene in the front seat, jaw tensed like he never saw before. Jackie moved on Milo’s lap to look at him better, a frown making him smile at her.

“You are upset.” she said.

“I am.” he nodded, something in his smile told him Milo wasn’t smiling for her, but for the eyes on them. “You know me so well.”

She smiled at him, her fingers were on his chin and she kissed his lips before asking, “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you later.” he kissed her nose. “But it’s fine, nothing to worry about.”

“Eric?” she looked at him, he almost jumped on his seat, but having Donna on his lap himself helped him to look normal when he smiled. “Did something happened?”

“Oh, we were just talking about the dirty grandpa.”

“Eww.” she said, but something in her face told him that was a theme she probably never touched with Milo. “We are here to relax, baby. No ugly family talk for the weekend!”

He smiled at her and nodded. “Alright, my love. Whatever you say.”

As they kissed, Eric saw Hyde stand up and leave the room. Fez looked at him and nodded, when he looked back at Milo and Jackie, his arm holding her to his body like a chain, his stomach hurt. It fucking stunk.

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s Room. 12:17 pm._

Harrington had this superpower of making him want to straggle him but also palm his back, _‘there, there’_ , because they were so alike sometimes… like he always thought, in another world, they could had been friends.

“I don’t think Jackie would like you out of her life, man.” he said, he didn’t even know where those word were coming from, but they there were. “She didn’t kick Kelso or me out, so you? You were a saint to her, she won’t want you out.”

“I don’t know…” Milo sighed. “You all were friends before, we were always each other’s interest. I’m not so sure.”

“You’ll see…”

The door opened and no one appeared in there, they looked at each other with the same _the fuck_ expression, but soon Betsy stepped in, talking to someone else who was taking her hand—Kat’s kid. Kat’s little girl was taking Betsy’s hand, walking inside with wide open blue eyes, like analyzing everything around her.

“Betsy!” he stood, there was no adult following them, which only could mean—“What are you doing?”

“Uh…” she looked at him, then at Milo and smiled. “I thought you were downstairs with everyone else.”

“Betsy.” he called again, the little girl (what was her name?) had left Betsy’s side and was walking towards Jackie’s bed. Milo stepped aside when she passed him and looked up at him. “Don’t ask me, I don’t know what is going on.”

“Hello.” Milo talked to the other girl, she didn’t look at him but left a paper over Jackie’s belly. “Little girl?”

“Her name is Harley!” Betsy told him. Harley, of course. “She doesn’t talk much.”

The little blond walked away from the bed and looked at Milo, waving her hand at him. He waved back, tried to talk to her, but she once again walked and then stopped in front of him. Hyde squatted to her eye’s level and sighed. If someone found her here, Betsy was going to be in so much trouble…

“Harley? I’m going to take you to your room, okay?”

She didn’t nod or shake her head, so slowly and more careful than he has ever remembered to be, Hyde took her in his arms and carried her like he always did Betsy. He looked at Milo for a second and he shrugged, they needed to do this quickly and without anyone noticing.

Grabbing his black blazer, he put it over Harley’s shoulders and walked to the door, followed by Betsy saying Harley had wanted to see Jackie and she had only took her like a good friend. Before leaving, he left the door open, just in case again, and saw Milo looking at the paper the girl had left. She waved her tiny hand to Jackie’s body and then rounded his neck with her arms, cuddling her head on his shoulder.

This was a weird feeling, the way the girl was clinging onto him. Like if she knew him or had choose to trust him somehow. Betsy kept babbling about how she had wanted to see her new friend and that Harley had wanted to see Jackie because she had something to give her.

A piece of paper. More ghost messages?

“Okay, Betsy?” his goddaughter looked at him once they were standing inside the room. “You shut that pie hole of yours while I leave Harley to rest, and then… you are going to listen to me.”

“Are you mad at me god-daddy?”

“You can’t go around stealing other people’s kids!” he said still in a murmur.

Hyde passed his blazer to Betsy, and carefully, he left Harley to lay on her hospital bed, but she kept hugging him. When she did a sound of discomfort, Hyde looked at her. She had her eyes closed and her nose was red, about to cry maybe, and he slowly took her hands so she will let him god.

“It’s fine…” he murmured. “Come on, little girl…”

“No.” she said, her voice was smaller than he remembered Betsy’s had ever been.

Like in the movies, they heard the toilet being pulled and Harley finally let him go. Faster than he has ever been, he jumped to Betsy’s side and back to the door, but it was too late. Someone had opened the bathroom’s door and had seen them.

“Oh, you two!”

He looked back, ready to give an excuse. It was Brenda again and she smiled at them. “Glad to see you back, how’s is your… family member?”

“God-mommy is still sleeping!” Betsy said, Brenda smiled at her and then looked at him with apologetic eyes.

“I’m sorry, we knocked but didn’t get an answer. We thought maybe she was alone or sleeping.” he excused, Betsy looked at him with a smile.

“It’s fine, darling. I was in the bathroom.” she smiled at him, then walked to Harley’s side. “Come in, this little lady isn’t talking much yet but she is wide awake.”

“How is she doing?” he asked.

Hyde didn’t know a thing about this girl, he barely remembered another thing that wasn’t—well— sex, about her mother. But now he was listening to how her memory loss may be superficial and temporary, that the first exams had gone well and she didn’t seem to have any more several brain damage.

That the other woman, Patty, was taking care of Kat’s service and that he and his friends were invited tomorrow morning for it. He had a message to tell everyone else and when he looked back at the girls, they were doing paper stars.

Harley had a lot of them on her night stand, she put every new one by her and Betsy there, and then kept doing more. Brenda told him they didn’t know why she kept doing them, but the doctor had said that it was important for her to keep letting her activities to exercise her brain and she has done some masterpieces that were hanging on her wall with duct tape and her million paper stars.

Was her paper a drawing for Jackie? Maybe she remembered her from before the accident, or maybe Betsy was filling her head with ideas. Or the ghost of her mother had sent another message.

“And how is your wife, darling?”

“My what?”

Betsy giggle from the bed, she was drawing with Harley now, and the other girl smiled at him before going back to her art.

“Amm, no. Jackie isn’t—she isn’t my wife.”

“Oh, I thought… since Betsy said you two are her godparents, I supposed you were already married.”

 _Already married_ , he could correct her again, but didn’t felt like going into details with a stranger. So he just smiled and replied, “Like the girl said, she’s still sleeping. But at least, breathing by her own.”

“That’s a good sign.”

“Yeah…” he sighed. “We should get going, Betsy’s parents can get worried easily.”

“Understandable.” she smiled. “Thank you for coming, son. Maybe Harley would like to visit Jackie later.” the little girl nodded. “Oh, you want to?” she nodded again. “Wow, that’s… the most she has… _communicated_ today.”

“She must be bored to be here all the time.” he suggested, Brenda laughed and nodded.

He carried Betsy with him, already thinking about what he was going to say to Kelso and Brooke. They said goodbye to the woman and waved their hands to little Harley, who waved back at them.

“Bye, Harley!” Betsy said. “Say goodbye to her, god-daddy!”

Looking back at the girl, her big blue eyes reminded him of Christmas light and he opened his mouth to say something, but she waved her hand at him and—“Bye, daddy!”

He arched an eyebrow, looking at the little girl waving in his direction. The woman almost ran to correct her, but Betsy talked first. “It’s _god_ -daddy, Harley!” Betsy corrected.

Brenda was laughing at the little error and seemed surprised to hear her niece’s voice at the same time. Harley looked at her, then at Betsy, and once more at him, to her drawing and at her side. She smiled, tiny and shy, and without looking at anyone in particular, she repeated:

“God-daddy.”

“Good!” Betsy said, clapping a couple of times.

“I’m sorry…” Brenda said to him, then blinked a couple of times. “Honey, are you okay? You’re pale!”

“Oh…” he laughed, shaking his head slowly. “I’m fine, don’t worry. Haven’t sleep any. I—see you, man.”

Harley was waving her hand at him when he looked back, he waved back and walked away with a heavy heart.

***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: After years of hearing how unwanted he was, there is people who actually want Hyde. Jackie’s drawing is making Hyde think too much into things, and everyone wants Milo to sleep at least a little.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	15. In Love With A Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After years of hearing how unwanted he was, there is people who actually want Hyde. Jackie’s drawing is making Hyde think too much into things, and everyone wants Milo to sleep at least a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. I’m very sorry about how late I’m posting this, but like those who follow me on tumblr know, I’ve been busy and so has been my beta. That’s why this time this chapter was checked by the awesome MistyMountainHop, who is the best. Thank you for your help, dear!
> 
> Now, everyone. Sorry for the late update. Here goes the chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/156755619530/heart-like-yours-chapter-xv-in-love-with-a) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XV – In Love With A Broken Heart**

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Cafeteria. 10:24 am._

“Here you are!”

Milo looked at the slender arms surrounding his waist. They reminded him of Jackie, still sleeping two floors up in her hospital bed, and his heart hurt as much as it did since that night in November. When he looked back down, Victoria was smiling up at him. She was always full of life, and he remembered her for her million colors and her warm laugh at his mother’s workshop before she became Jackie’s friend. He smiled a little and waited for his coffee to be ready.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you alone,” she said now, releasing him from the hug. She stayed at his side and leaned her back against the cafeteria service counter. “You look like trash after the Thanksgiving Day Parade.”

“Nice to know there’s something to be compared to.”

“Someone is in a bad mood!”

He didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but things were what they were. It always happened to him—his voice was often some kind of hard, some kind of cold, some kind of distant. He’d been told this a million times, and it didn’t matter how much he tried to change it. His body didn’t seem capable of understanding that he was always perceived the wrong way.

But he hoped that the new people he cared about would be patient enough to get to know him and realize that he wasn’t that guy.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t slept at all,” he confessed. “When I heard Eric’s message, I felt like … the floor was moving and— this hot feeling inside, like fire going all around my body. It was horrible.”

“Yeah…” She turned toward him as the cafeteria lady give him his coffee. “When you called, I couldn’t stop crying. That’s why I gave the phone to Juny.”

“I know.” He sighed, thanked the cafeteria lady for the drink, and headed to elevator bank with Victoria. “It hasn’t been easy, huh? I’m so fucking tired…”

She didn’t respond, and they continued their walk in silence.

Milo had called everyone in New York after getting his flight sorted. Bruce had promised to come the second he had the chance. His best friend should’ve flown out sooner, but Milo didn’t have the mind to be angry at him. The girls and June, however, had made arrangements to get to the hospital the second they heard about Jackie’s accident.  
  
This situation wasn’t a walk in the park, and he was grateful to have Victoria and Noah here, especially after how awkward things had been lately.

“You should get some sleep, honey,” Victoria said at the elevators. “Do you even have an hotel room?”  
  
He shook his head as one of the elevators arrived.  
  
“What?” She didn’t sound happy.

“Vic, I came to the hospital immediately.” He entered the elevator and put a hand in front of the door to keep it from closing. Victoria and a couple of nurses joined him, and he pressed the button for the third floor, Jackie’s floor. “I didn’t even think of getting one—or bring a suitcase with me!”

“You didn’t?” She looked at him with such shock that, in almost any other circumstance, he would’ve laughed. “Oh my God, you are crazy.”

Maybe he was. Another item to add to the list of things wrong with him. Apparently, there was nothing good about his personality.

The elevator opened at the third floor. Fez and Hyde walked towards it, and Milo prepared himself for a new level of awkward.

“Hey!” Hyde called, and Fez crossed his arms over his chest. “Santoro is here.”

That. That made Milo’s shoulders feel light. “Really? Finally!”

Hyde smiled a little. “Yeah, he’s outside Jackie’s room, waiting for you.”

“Oh, sure.” Milo palmed Hyde’s shoulder and almost laughed at the surprised faces in front of him. “Thank you.”

“Sure, man.”

At least Bruce had made it. Milo walked with Victoria as she cast weird looks at him, and when they reached the waiting area, Bruce stood from his seat and ran to him. He clasped Milo’s back, as if they hadn’t seen each other just three days ago.  
  
Victoria was next. She and Bruce greeted each other, and she got him up-to-date about what had happened since Jackie’s accident. At the end of it, he looked at Milo with worry.  
  
Milo sighed. “I know, I know. I look like shit.”

“Like a stepped-on cockroach,” Bruce said, hands on his waist. “Come on, I haven’t seen _Jacque._ Let’s go inside.” His accent had come back almost as much as when they were kids. Which meant he was nervous. Victoria links arms with his, and they walked to Jackie’s door. “Time to be awkward,” he said.

“You’ll be fine,” she said. “These people are actually pretty nice.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, well, you forget my super power of being extra awkward when nice people are around.”

Milo smiled to himself. Thank God Bruce was here.

******

  1. _Point Place, Wisconsin. 11:19 pm._



Tonight had been a tragedy. Jackie sighed while waiting for Milo to take her coat so they could finally leave this stupid restaurant.

He wasn’t bad. The guy had actually been charming and sweet—and very understanding of her sullen face. It wasn’t his fault she’d talked to Steven before their date tonight and that they’d run into some of the girls she’d been on the high school cheer squad with. She had also reacted badly to them, and she’d probably be the reason why this guy would never want to go out with her ever again.

“Here we go.” He approached her with her coat. She smiled, turning to let him be a gentleman. “Everything okay?” he said and put the coat over her shoulders.

“Yeah.” She sighed again and slipped her arms into the coat sleeves.

Milo opened the restaurant door for her. Outside, in the vehicle drop-off zone, he gave his claim ticket to the head valet. The valet rushed off, and both Jackie and Milo remained silent as they waited for Milo’s car to arrive. She hadn’t had a real date in two years. She’d have to thank Donna at some point because, even with her lack of eloquence in the restaurant, at least she’d had a night out and cute guy trying to make her laugh.

“Milo?” she said, and he grinned at her. He reminded her of a puppy, always happy when she looked at him. It was adorable but also a little bit funny, and she smiled, trying to hold in her laughter. “Thank you for tonight. I know I was … a little distracted, but this was nice. This is nice.”

“Oh…” He seemed to have lost his words. Hers obviously sounded like she was ending their date. He licked his lips before saying anything more, but his car pulled into the drop-off zone. The valet driving parked it and exited. Milo tipped him, moved to the other side of the car, and opened the passenger-side door. “Jackie?”

She sat in the passenger seat and picked at imaginary dirt on her nails. Milo got into the driver’s seat with a sigh. He buckled his seatbelt and drove them away from the restaurant.  
  
“Do you…” He sounded nervous. “Do you want to go out some time again?”

That simple question rang in her head— _ding, ding!_ —like some kind of magic call from another world. Her mouth opened at the question’s alienness, and he laughed a little, his cheeks going red. Her own were hot, which meant they had to be red, too. She cleared her throat and thought as quickly as she could.

What to to answer, after believing this date was it? Milo wanted to see her again, even when she was uncharacteristically quiet, even after she’d been rude to the waiter and given him a nasty look when he said no to the second bottle of wine.

“Oh, my God!” she said, cupping her cheeks with both hands. What was wrong with her? This man had the money and the desire to take her to the fanciest restaurant he’d found in Point Place,  tolerated her bad mood during the entire date, and was now asking for a second date. “Are you joking? I thought you’d think I was a total dirtbag with all I did tonight! You must be an angel.”

He laughed again, but this time there was something old and sad in it. Jackie studied him, hands leaving her cheeks, curious about what lay behind that sadness.

“I think … you’re going through a hard time,” he said, “and it’s never good to judge people based on only a few things.” He stopped the car at a red light and looked at her. “Besides, even if nothing happens between us, I think you’ll be  a great news anchor one day, and I can use the connection.”

“Oh, is that what you want? To be friends with the next big TV star?”

“Well, of course!” His tone was almost a song. It made her smile. The traffic light went green, and he continued driving. “Here?” he said. She nodded, and he drove around the corner to the street leading directly to her building. “Maybe I won’t work forever at _Rolling Stone._ Maybe I’ll give TV news a try. We can work together on a morning show or something.”

“Now you’re just making things up!” She laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “You just want to keep looking at me because I’m prettier than any other girl in Wisconsin.”

“In America, I’d say.” His voice was a murmur, as if he were embarrassed, as if he meant it. “And France. I lived in France a year ago for six months.”

“What? You speak French?” she said, and he nodded. “Oh! You have to teach me!”

“Sure!” He parked in front of her building, but she didn’t want to go anywhere. “Maybe next time—let’s say, at the movies this Thursday?”

Jackie grinned at that but covered her lips, fingers pressing on them a little. She looked at this patient and lovely man before her, who was smiling and nervously drumming his fingers on his left thigh, waiting for her answer.

“You are something…” she murmured. “Yeah. Why not?”

“Yes!” he said and pumped his fist into the air. She laughed, and soon they were both outside the car. He insisted on walking her to her building, and she let him. She also let him climb the stairs with her to her floor, and they stood outside her apartment.

“This was great, Milo. Sorry for being … like that. I swear, I’m normally a delight. It’s just…”

“No need to apologize.” he said. “Once you know me better, you’ll realize I’m very boring. So this? Nothing to worry about.” She laughed, and he went on. “I had a lot of fun, actually. I enjoyed seeing you do this…” He imitated her hair flip, and her face grew warm again. “You are so secure in yourself. It’s very refreshing to be with someone like that.”

“Wow.” She should’ve taken out her keys, but she wasn’t quite ready to go inside yet. “You are literally the first person to ever tell me that!”

“Well…” He hid his hands in his coat pockets and shrugged. “Sometimes, people who are like that scare people like me.”

“And what kind of people are you?”

He seemed to shrink further into himself, like he was too embarrassed to answer. She watched him silently, and he licked his lips before speaking again. “A survivor.”

Insecure. But not in a needy way. Not in a sick way. Jackie made a mental note to give more attention to his words and his ways. He definitely had something familiar and something that spoke to her. If he had a broken heart like hers, maybe dating him wasn’t such a bad idea.

“You’re nice looking. You have a good job, money, charm…” She shook her head. “Why are you single again?”

“Oh!” He scratched his ear; then his hand retreated back to his coat pocket. “Probably because I… tend to work too much. And to be seen as scary… and a workaholic.”

“Scary?”

“Oh, dear God, I shouldn’t be saying this, but—aaaaahhh…” He was probably trying to figure out a lie, and she crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for it to come. “Well, I have a bad temper,” he said.  
  
Jackie thought about all the men in her life, then about herself, and nodded.  
  
“And,” he continued, “I tend to read too much into things. Overthink them. That kind of stuff.”

“Okay…” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other while taking in this new information. “I’m sorry, but you should know …  I have a bad temper, too. And a loud voice. Sometimes I’ll get mad at you and talk so loud you’ll think I’m yelling.”

“That’s good!” he said and winced, as if he’d realized that was a strange thing to say. “I mean—I never yell. So you can do all the yelling, and I’ll do the overthinking.” She laughed again, and this time he added, “And the awkwardness, too, it seems.”

“Well…” She finally looked for the keys to her front door. “I also like shiny stuff.”

“I love shining stuff too. Shoes. Silverware…”

“No.” She gestured at his face with her keys. “I like getting _shiny_ stuff.”

“And I have a credit cart. Maybe this could work.”

She smiled at that, unlocked her front door, and opened it. But she found she didn’t want to let him go just yet. Would he kiss her? She hadn’t kissed anyone but Steven in a long time. First kisses were always a big deal. It should be special, so maybe it was good thing it wasn’t happening at her front door’s threshold.

“What about goodnight kisses?” he said. “You like goodnight kisses?”

Or maybe not. Maybe this was the special moment. She gazed at him and bit her bottom lip before nodding. “I love goodnight kisses.”

“Thank God for that…”

The tenderness of his kiss made her legs weak, but she maintained her place on Earth. It came as a nice surprise, to be able to fly and yet stay in the real world without having to deprive herself of this sweet man’s soft and experienced lips.

His fingers held her chin, and both her hands landed on his face. She enjoyed the smoothness of his cheeks and the lines of his features. All of him seemed strong, hard enough to help her carry her baggage but soft enough to assure her she could do it herself.

Little by little, her mind stopped its course. Just her lips remained moving, and when she sighed like waking up from a sweet sleep, his lips went back to hers, and the new kiss didn’t end until he was the one needing air.

“Oh, wow!” She touched her fingers to her lips, and he grasped her other hand. “You are a good kisser…”

”You’re a great kisser” they said at the same time.

With their eyes fixed on the other’s, they laughed with red cheeks. For the first time in a while, the world didn’t seem that bad. Her heart had found a rhythm to follow after being asleep for what felt like so long.. She stood on her tiptoes and claimed his lips again. He kissed her back just as slowly, new and alive and great.

She could get used to this. She could love this.

“So…” he started, and she adjusted her stance again, this time purposely wanting to look cute. “I’ll see you on Thursday?”

“How about tomorrow for lunch?”

“Tomorrow? Really?”

She nodded, hoping he would say, “Of course! Excellent. Yes, tomorrow is perfect.” His smile appeared brighter than it had the whole night, and she liked it. She liked it a lot.

“Okay,” he said, “so I’ll come by for you?”

“Sure…”

They chose a time for their date, said their goodbyes, and she entered her apartment.  As she walked toward her bedroom, the bathroom door creaked open. Steven’s hair was wet. He was clothed in sweatpants and a thin white T-shirt, his usual sleep attire, and a towel was slung over his shoulders. He’d stayed home on a Saturday night.

“Hey…” he said, and her heart rose into her throat. “How … how was it?”

“Uh, more or less.” Why was she lying? She cleared her throat. “I don’t know why I said that. No, it went well. He’s either very patient or very stupid, but we had a good time.”

“Cool,” he said and went to his room without another word.

She stared at the closed door for a few seconds before going into her own room. What had she expected form that conversation? She’d rejected him only a few hours ago and gone out with a nice guy who’d kissed her exquisitely moments ago.

With a sigh, she closed her door.  Hopefully, Steven would understand the time had come for her to take care of herself. This was just another step to take.

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Cafeteria. 12:38 pm._

Fez had wanted to go with Hyde for something to eat. Hyde hadn’t accepted the Formans’ bagel and coffee that they’d bought earlier. He passed it to Vic and sat down to listen to everyone’s babbling about Donna being pregnant.

It was great news, learning she wasn’t hiding anything bad. But just this—yeah, everyone needed a good cheering-up.

“That looks like a dog.” Fez said. He was pointing at a bread roll on the cafeteria counter.

Hyde examined the bread himself and laughed. “Holy shit, it’s a Chihuahua.”

The woman taking food orders greeted them at the counter. Fez asked for the Chihuahua bread, and he and Hyde made a plan about how to eat it.

Drenched in coffee? Half with butter, half without? Or just bite-by-bite? Finding such amusement in bread was incredible, but the lack of sleep—and Jackie—had wreaked havoc with Hyde’s thoughts. He and Fez sat down at a table, waiting for their coffees and disgusting sandwiches, and neither of them said anything. 

Hyde’s latest conversation with Harrington was still ringing in his head. The guy was really hurt. Hyde never thought he’d  end up … _caring_ if the guy was in pain. But he’d seen it with his own eyes. Milo wasn’t faking his distress without Jackie or his worry about his grandfather. And Hyde understood far too well how bad news could numb a person, especially when the news was about someone who’d done so much wrong .

When he’d  heard about Bud’s imprisonment, he almost laughed on the phone. The bastard had left him behind without much of an explanation and then reappeared just to ask for help. W.B. had wanted Hyde to stay away from Bud, not to help him, but in the end Hyde couldn’t keep his arms crossed over his chest.

Harrington was owning the crap that had resulted thanks to his decisions, even though the crap hadn’t been his intention, nor had he thought it would’ve happened. He hadn’t wanted Hyde or Angie involved in Lawrence’s bullshit—and if Hyde had learned anything about Harrington these past two years, he was capable of taking all the blame if necessary.

“Can I ask you something, Hyde?” Fez said at their table, and Hyde glanced up from his food receipt. “What are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been acting weird, going here and there with Betsy. And you cleaned up this morning.” Fez rubbed the sides of his own face and his chin, as if stroking a beard he didn’t have. “What are you planning on doing?”

Hyde shifted his gaze to the next table over because—what? Was this a joke? “Uh, nothing? I just changed my clothes. I wasn’t gonna be walking around, smelling like shit.”

“Really?” Fez said, but they were called to the counter for their food. “So you don’t know anything about why Milo hasn’t put the ring on Jackie,” he went on at the counter, “and why he’s been acting odd about their wedding? He didn’t want to talk about it.”

Hyde arched an eyebrow. “Man, I don’t think he’s in the mood for that while Jackie’s like this.”

“Well, if my friends aren’t hiding anything from me, I guess you are right.”

Damn Fez’s ability to see through people. Hyde grabbed his food and carried it to the bank of elevators. 

He’d also been carrying the ring he’d bought for Jackie, and its weight was starting to mess with his mind. Maybe everyone around him had already figured out his intentions and how he felt about Jackie. And yeah, he’d admitted it openly to the people closest to him, but—damn.

“They aren’t together anymore,” he said.

“I knew it!” Fez said as one of the elevators opened. He and Hyde stepped inside. “Everyone has been weirder than usual. Of course something was going on behind my back!” He pressed the button for the third floor. The elevator closed and began to move. “Hyde! This is the kind of thing someone says to their friends when the involved friend is in coma!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” The elevator door opened, and Hyde waited for Fez  step outside first. “Look, Jackie didn’t want anyone to know—“

“How do you know, anyway?”

“She went to my grandmother’s birthday party—” Hyde said, and Fez opened his mouth to speak. “Yeah, the one I said I wasn’t going to, but I did at the last second. That one!”

Fez rolled his eyes and sipped at his coffee, as if waiting for him to leave the elevator and continue talking. Hyde did. “I saw her without the ring. Asked her about it, and she told me. She also asked me to not say anything, and I did her that favor.” His shoulders slumped. “But I guess, yeah. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“She is not going to get back with Milo,” Fez said, “if that’s what you think.”

They trudged down the hospital hallways in silence until a question forced itself out of Hyde’s mouth: “How do you know that?”

“You’re forgetting that Jackie is my best friend. We talked almost every day, you know?”

“Uh…”

Fez smiled at him. “She wasn’t feeling it with Milo anymore, even when she tried to hide it. I just knew it.”

Hyde’s grip tightened around his sandwich. What Fez said made sense. Fez had lived with her, had stayed with her during a tough time in her life—and love life—a time Hyde was partly to blame for. He hated admitting his role in it, but he’d played a significant one.

“She was feeling alone, neglected, pretty much ignored,” Fez continued. “I don’t think Milo did it on purpose. It’s just … that’s where their personalities clashed, I guess. Jackie is a woman who needs lots of attention, and Milo is a man who loves his work.”

“Yeah…” Hyde stared down at his feet while walking. He couldn’t look up and confess that learning he wasn’t the only who’d seen those things between Jackie and Milo made him feel better. “They’d moved onto different paths, even when they were going to the same place.”

Fez sighed. “Exactly.” 

They turned a corner and finally found Jackie’s hallway.

“He’s also very controlling,” Fez said. “How on earth did he think he could control Jackie Burkhart?” He sounded truly offended, and Hyde smirked at the tone. “You know what she needs?” Fez said.

Hyde quirked up an eyebrow. This could be interesting.

“She needs to find the in-between, you know? To still be part of this world, Point Place, and to keep her New York life, too. That’s what she needs.” Fez took another sip of his coffee. “And that’s probably what she wants. Being with Milo meant saying goodbye to everything here, no matter how supportive and generous he was about bringing her here almost every weekend.”

“Shit!” Some of Hyde’s coffee had spilled onto his hand. It was hot but not scorching. “Sorry. You were saying?”

“Eventually they would stay only in New York. That’s normal.”

Fez was right, just like Kelso usually stayed in Chicago and came home during holidays and other small breaks. At first, he’d visit Point Place practically every weekend, half the time by himself. Then he brought his family with him for most visits; until, finally, he returned only during very special days.

People leaving Point Place was more common than them coming back. It could happen with Jackie too, especially when living in a city like New York.

“You always hoped this would be the case,” Fez said.

“What?” They stopped at Jackie’s door, and Fez  smiled at him, as if knowing too much. “What do you mean?”

“That Jackie is not with Milo.” Fez opened the door and stepped in, Hyde blinked a couple of times before following.

Was it possible that all his friends, for the first time ever, actually supported his desire of be with Jackie? Timing, man. The answer was timing.

******

_November 23, 1982. Fox Lake Correctional Institution, Wisconsin. 10:18 am._

When Bud’s craggy and lined face appeared in his view, Hyde realized how old his stepfather actually was and how much older he looked. Bud’s face nauseated him. The fact that he’d called made Hyde hate him a little bit more, but that Hyde had answered his call was worse, like a deadly, self-inflicted wound.

“I knew you would come!” Bud said. His hair was short now, and the ugly mustache on his face made Hyde realize, even more deeply, that he himself had become this man at some point. “Look at you! You look well, son.”

“Shut up.” Hyde wasn’t here for chit-chat. If Bud wanted something, he’d damn well better get to it. Hyde had so much to do already, and Jackie’s father was sitting at a table nearby, talking to his cousin Barney, a man Jackie considered her uncle. “What do you want?” Hyde said.

“Well, you’re my only family around,” Bud said. “Your uncle Chet is still inside, you know? Your cousin Larry’s here, too!”

“Yay,” Hyde said with zero glee. Wasn’t Bud getting the message by now? Adding more pressure, Mr. Burkhart peered at them from time to time. It made Hyde fucking nervous. “What the hell do you want, Bud?”

“You’re still mad at me…” Bud said.

Hyde closed his eyes. He was the one who’d decided to come here, and somewhere inside he knew his stepfather was going to pull one of these numbers on him again.

“I deserve it,” Bud went on. “I haven’t been a good father lately—“

“You’ve never been a good father.” Hyde’s hands moved to his lap. He searched for something in his jeans pocket, but he’d had to leave everything at the check-in counter before getting into visitation area. “Listen, Bud—I don’t even know why I’m here. I already know you’re not my father anyway. So stop wasting my time and just tell me what you want.”

“Oh.” Bud seemed to consider Hyde’s words, and a grin spread across his craggy face. Hyde tried not to cringe. Was the smile genuine? Either way, Hyde despised himself slightly more. The possibility Bud hadn’t known about Hyde’s true parentage had never occurred to him. Adding to Bud’s suffering wasn’t on his agenda. “So,” Bud said, “I turned out to be right, huh? Your mother was a great actress.”

“Yeah, well, she ‘s also stupid. She put my dad’s name on my birth certificate.”

“Really?” Bud frowned. “I should’ve checked that.”

“All right, so we’re settled? Good. I’m leaving.”

“Wait!”

Hyde had gotten to his feet, but when he sat down again, Mr. Burkhart and Barney were shaking hands. Barney stood to leave. Before going, however, he turned to Hyde and squeezed his shoulder—saying,  “Hi,” and, “Goodbye,” with a smile that was unquestionably genuine.

Hyde arched an eyebrow. When they’d first met, so many years ago, Barney said to Jackie about Hyde to “enjoy his company as much as the body wants,” and then “marry someone appropriate.”  He’d even had the gall to add, “You’ll  need it.”

Barney wasn’t so bad, though, in comparison to all the rich assholes Hyde had to smile at while accompanying Jackie to her fancy gatherings. Barney wasn’t the worst among them. But his stupid beliefs were still that: stupid.

“How do you know the pompous ass?” Bud said.

“None of your business. What do you want? Don’t make me ask again.”

“All right, I need your help!” Bud’s frown sent a shiver though Hyde’s body. It was the expression Bud always wore while pissed at him, before a slap left red marks on Hyde’s face. “Listen, they’re asking me for money—“

Hyde crossed his arms over his chest. “Of course…” He turned his head left and focused on Mr. Burkhart while Bud gave the rest of the  explanation. Mr. Burkhart was openly looking at Hyde, letting the guard put handcuffs on him again. “I got it,” Hyde said, interrupting Bud. “You need to pay for protection on the inside.”

“Shh!” Bud said, but the guard didn’t react to Hyde’s statement, probably because he’d get some of the dough. “Well … yeah.”

“I can’t believe this.” Hyde watched as Mr. Burkhart spoke to the guard. “Fine.” Hyde stood, looking down at Bud. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Son, thank—“

“Don’t call me that ever again.” Hyde sliced his hand through the air to emphasize the point. “The second you do something stupid inside, I’m dropping it. And once you’re out, I don’t want you in my life at all. Understand?”

“If that’s what you want…”

“Please.” Hyde laughed. “Don’t do that. I’m already paying for your ass.” He cracked his knuckles. “And don’t call me at my office again or at the Formans’.”

Maybe he was being too rough with Bud, but—goddammit—how many years had gone by without even a word from the asshole? How many years of fearing Bud’s fucking frown? He’d enough of that. Besides he needed to get away from Mr. Burkhart—

“Hey, son!”

Damn it.

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s room. 1:02 pm._

Jackie sat on her bed and watched as Michael put Betsy’s and Jess’s drawings on her wall with Scotch tape. It was a peaceful contrast to the chaos in her large but crowded hospital room. Friends and loved ones from both New York and Point Place had all managed to stuff themselves inside—Michael, Brooke, and their children, the Formans and Bob, Steven and Fez, Milo and Bruce, Victoria and Morgan, Noah and June—without a complaint from the nurses.

“I’m telling you, you have to sleep!” Bruce yelled at Milo. “You don’t even have a hotel room! What is wrong with you?”

“I can’t leave the hospital, Bruce…” Milo said.

“Yes, you can, and you will!” Victoria said and looked at Steven. She and Bruce had been trying to make Milo take a nap for a while now. “Trainer, you are in charge while this guy sleeps!”

Steven smirked. “What?”  He and Fez were seated in chairs by Jackie’s bed and eating. He seemed to be studying the drawings taped to the wall. “All right. Whatever, man.”

“Rolo, Noah!” Bruce said, and the men looked at Bruce firmly, like soldiers called by their superior. “Take one arm each and let’s go!”

Noah and June took Milo by the arms amid everyone’s laughter and Mr. Forman’s groan. They dragged Milo to the door, which opened by itself, revealing a too-happy Eric.

Eric dashed toward Jackie’s bed with a gift basket of red roses. A stuffed heart resembling a devil was nestled beside the flowers. Donna entered behind him and laughed at the scene before her, but Jackie didn’t laugh at Eric’s present.

“What is that?” Fez said with a frown. “Oh, no! Where the hell did you get that?”

“Gift shop,” Eric said. He pushed past Noah, June, and Milo, and placed the basket on Jackie’s left nightstand. “It was on sale.“

“My guess is for Halloween,“ Donna said.

 “Look at it.” Eric gestured to the gift basket. “It’s perfect!”

“Those designers at the store are getting pretty creative,” Morgan said, examining the stupid stuffed heart with the devil horns and tail. “Please tell me it has lights.”

Eric took the the heart and pressed  a button on the bottom of it. Lights of various colors illuminated the thing, and Jackie glared at him. “It’s perfect!” he said. “Blood-red roses and a devil heart for the devil herself!”

Donna shook her head while Jackie’s other friends laughed. “You’re not beating Hyde’s grasshopper,” Donna said, “but I bet she’d like the heart and flowers anyway.”

Everyone looked at the grasshopper on her bed, but none of them could’ve known it was from Steven before now. Like Jackie, they’d probably thought it was Betsy’s, but no one said a thing. Milo merely sighed, prompting and Noah and June to let him go, and he walked to the door without further prodding.

“So are you going to get some rest, honey?” Mrs. Forman said from the blue couch. Steven’s blazer was draped on the back of it, and Milo nodded with an incredibly tired smile. “All right. Be careful and sleep well.”

“Thank you, Kitty. Guys…” Milo said, addressing  everyone in the room, “Thank you all so much for this. I’m sure it means a lot to Jackie to have you all here.”

Jackie smiled. He was right. After a few goodbyes, Vic and June asked Donna and Eric for that ride to the hotel. Noah and Morgan left with them, as did Milo and Bruce. Betsy, though kept switching the devil heart’s lights on and off.  When she got bored of that, she played with the grasshopper and Jess. Their happy giggles filled the room as Fez and Steven finished their food and shared laughs with Brooke and Michael.

Incredible.

A few months before today, Fez and Steven couldn’t talk without insulting the other. But today they seemed relaxed, and Jackie stood at their side, listening to their conversations and jokes like when they were kids.

From time to time, she looked up at the wall covered with drawings. Betsy had asked everyone to make a one, and Michael added them to the wall. The scary white surrounding her hospital bed had transformed into a of mural affection, cobbled from strange doodles by unexpected people.

Mr. and Mrs. Forman had made theirs together—sort of. Mrs. Forman was responsible for most of the art, and she wrote Mr. Forman’s name on it beside hers. But Jackie had caught Mr. Forman coloring a heart in the background of the family Mrs. Forman illustrated.

Steven’s picture was of a sun, but the first drawing Michael had put up was done by Harley.

“I’m going to have to leave, guys,” Bob said. “But just for a little while. I’ll come back later.”

”We should go, too,” Mrs. Forman said, “but we’ll also be back.”

Bob left with the Formans. The room’s door swung open then shut, and Jackie examined Harley’s drawing as her friends spoke behind her.

“So, Betsy.” Brooke said, “are you ready to explain why you left the store without us?”

“I was bored,” Betsy said, and Jackie glanced over her shoulder at the girl, offering her a grin Betsy couldn’t see.

Jackie’s gaze returned to Harley’s drawing. It depicted three female figures: Jackie, Kat, and Harley in a line. It was the bus from the accident, as seen by an outside observer.

“I came here to be with god-daddy!” Betsy said. “Right, god-daddy?”

Jackie glanced at Steven, who was chewing his last bite of sandwich. He nodded, and she returned her attention to Harley’s drawing. Above Kat’s head was a halo, a big smile on her face, and the word _Mommy_ above the halo. At her side, Harley had drawn herself with an equally big smile, the word _Me_ above her head.

On Kat’s other side was Jackie—her short hair, that same big smile, and above her head was what had frozen her next to Milo when he’d unfolded the drawing earlier.

“Harrington was here, too. And she’s fine. Chill,” Steven told Brooke, but it must’ve been the wrong answer, considering the stare it earned from Brooke.

“Michael?” she said, and Michael shifted his attention to her. “Maybe we should take the kids to your mother, just for a few hours, so they won’t be bored.”

“Yeah, I think it’s a good idea.” Michael said. “But can I stay with Jackie alone first?”

“Huh?” She tilted her head and focused her intense stare on him. “Why?”

He smiled shyly, with Steven and Fez’s gaze on him. “I just … I want to talk to her is all.”

“Sure, honey. I’ll wait for you outside.” Brooke glanced at Steven and Fez.  “Guys?”

“Yeah.” Steven stood, followed by Fez, but someone knocked at the door before they could leave. Steven opened the door, revealing Harley and her great aunt, Patty. “Hey!”

“God-daddy!” Harley said with a smile.

“Hi, son,” Patty said. “Sorry to bother you, but this little girl is going in for some tests, and  we wanted to leave a couple of things for Jackie.”

“Uh, sure…” Steven stepped aside. “Come in.”

They entered the room, and Steven started the introductions. “This is Patty and Harley, Kat’s aunt and daughter.”

“Oh!” Brooke stepped toward them, one hand on her belly. “I’m so sorry for your loss—

Patty gestured for silence. They all appeared to understand that Harley wasn’t aware yet about what had happened. Steven shook his head and snatched his blazer from the couch. Was he going to leave after all?

Jackie sighed. She’d wanted him to talk to her. Michael had something to say to her unconscious body, but Steven hadn’t spoken a single word to her during his time here. He’d talked to Milo, of all people, but not to her. Typical.

But Harley was leaving paper stars on Jackie’s right nightstand, a bunch of them.

”She’s been making them almost since she woke up,” Patty said. “She left some in her room, but she wanted to bring the rest to Jackie.”

After Harley finished with the stars, she moved to Jackie’s bed and laid new, folded-up drawings on Jackie’s hand and chest.

Jackie hoped someone would open them, that Michael would tape them to her wall like the others. When she peered back at Steven, he’d moved from the couch to the wall of art. He was frowning at Harley’s first drawing.

“Mrs. Peterson?”

“Yes?” Patty said.

Steven went to her.  “Have you seen the girl’s drawings?”

“Oh, yes. I already asked the doctor. She says it’s Harley’s grief mechanism. Her brain doesn’t….” Her voice faded as Harley and Betsy unfolded the drawings and showed them to Brooke and Fez. “Her brain doesn’t understand what’s happening, so it fills the gaps in her memory with imagination. Since Jackie is one of the last people she saw before the accident, her brain is using that memory of her.”

“I—I understand.” he said. He seemed nervous, and Jackie smiled. The nervous one should’ve been her, but she didn’t mind this reversal at all. “I … do you know about her father?”

Patty shook her head. “Kat never mentioned him.”

“Okay.” Jackie’s eyebrows rose. Wasn’t he supposed to tell Patty he knew who the man was? That he’d talked to Harley’s father, and the guy turned out to be an asshole?

“God, you are pale.” Patty chuckled. “You and Jackie never planned on having kids?”

“What?” Jackie said.

“Uh—“ He scratched at the back of his head. “We aren’t together…”

“Oh!” Fez and Michael laughed behind Patty, and she smiled at Steven apologetically. “I’m so sorry, honey. Since Betsy’s always talking about her godmother, and you are the godfather, I thought…”

Steven returned her smile. “It’s fine.”

“Oh, my God…” Jackie leaned her head on Steven’s shoulder. They were obvious even with her in a coma, weren’t they?

“Well, we—we better go,” Patty said. “Harley has to take those tests and afterward, I … I’ll be heading to Kat’s service.”

“Oh, when and where will it be?” Michael said.

Steven returned to the wall of drawings again as Patty gave out the information. He studied Harley’s illustration of Jackie’s smiling face and the new name she’d given her. 

“You don’t want kids, Steven?” Jackie said, staring at the name. 

Harley had written, “Other Mommy,” above illustration-Jackie’s head.

Jackie crossed her arms over her chest and studied Steven’s profile. “That may be a problem.”

******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: There’s a confession and a conclusion. Hyde talks to someone unlikely while Jackie hears something unexpected she never thought would happen. Kitty, Red, and Hyde hear some news.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	16. We Are Cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a confession and a conclusion. Hyde talks to someone unlikely while Jackie hears something unexpected she never thought would happen. Kitty, Red, and Hyde hear some news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been waiting for you all to read this chapter for two reason, and I would to read your thoughts on it once you are done. That said, thank you so much for the patience with the latest chapter and for all you comments on it! I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Especial thanks to NannyGirl for the beta and MistyMountainHop for chapter 15, and for the support. Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/157087660740/heart-like-yours-chapter-xvi-we-are-cool) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XVI – We are cool**

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s room. 1:48 pm._

Michael had asked everyone to leave the room, he and Brooke had kissed after Fez took Jess and Steven walked outside with Betsy taking his hand. Jackie had almost followed them, not sure if she wanted to hear whatever Michael thought was so private and important to ask for this privacy. Brooke smiled at him, and walked out, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

To be honest, Jackie wasn’t in the mood to hear about them ‘doing it’ a million years ago, or about how she couldn’t die because she was his friend and Betsy’s godmother. She knew Michael. He had an actual good heart in spite his selfish nature, but he also had a great talent for saying the most inappropriate things in the worst of times.

Even showing the maturity he did just yesterday, calming their friends down, asking for some respect for her, Jackie wasn’t sure if she could trust he had changed that much and for so much good.

But she stayed.

He hadn’t say anything yet, but she stayed. Jackie remained in her position, sitting at her head’s side on the right corner of the bed, looking at him hanging Harley’s latest art pieces she had brought with her aunt just minutes ago.

A house, happy faces and hearts, suns everywhere, more scenes from the bus, the toys she had seen when she and Kat had sat down to talk before the accident, a drawing of her, one of Betsy and Harley, and one of Steven she didn’t understand much.

It was weirdly done, but for what she could get, Harley had drawn him when he and Betsy took her to her room just this morning, so the character that was Steven was carrying her with very large arms. It was funny, but it said ‘god daddy and me’, so it was Steven.

“I think this girl thinks you are her mom, Jackie!” Michael said, she looked up and waited. “Maybe she thinks you and Kat were her mommies! You know, since those aunts are like together-together.”

Well. Maybe Michael wasn’t that stupid after all.

“That’s really something, uh?” he said, he had finished putting the drawings on her wall and was now sitting were Fez had sat down at Steven’s side in front of her. “Oh! I bet they looked hot together when they were younger! You and Kat would look great!”

There goes the inappropriate.

Jackie rolled her eyes and stood, she hoped someone would open the door because _really_. She couldn’t handle Michael’s bullshit right now.

“It would be nice if you woke up before Jess’ birthday, Jackie.” he said, his hand touched hers and she looked at it. Michael was always handsy, but its’ been a while since his touch felt kind of intimate. “My kids miss you as much as me and Brooke do, you have become really like—part of us or something. You and Milo are like, our plus couple” he explained.

This touch also felt different, another kind of intimate from what they had once. It felt familiar but different. Something good, though. “I think If we ever feel like having a four way, you’ll be the couple we invite!”

“Ugh, Michael!” she wanted to slap him and she did. He felt nothing but damn, was he still a pervert.

He kept rambling about the fun stuff they could do all together, and about the times they had hung out as couples. Michael and Brooke didn’t like Milo, but they accepted him. They accepted her relationship and supported her when things weren’t looking so bright.

Even after the blame Michael had on she and Steven breaking up the last time, he had become her actual friend. It was a soft epilogue for their story, how forgiveness had reached her heart and he had found Brooke, did better than anyone expected him to be.

Michael was such another person from the boy that cheated on her, Jackie was actually sure he meant it when—

“Damn it!” he slapped his own face with his big palm, eyes closed and an embarrassed expression on his face. “I’m doing it again! I’m saying stupid things instead of saying the truth!”

What was he talking about? Jackie looked at him from behind and near the door, arms crossed over her chest, waiting for a better explanation than his uncomfortable noises. He was such a child sometimes, and yet, he had managed to be a good father and husband.

“It’s just—“ he sighed, he had uncovered his face again and his fingers had started caressing her knuckles. “You know how after Chicago all went down for you? But it went up for me?”

Oh. Oh, so he had noticed? Wow. Jackie walked to sit down again, facing him. Michael looked embarrassed like never before.

“I feel guilty… like if I ruined your life or something.” he said, “I mean, obviously after being with this—“ he signaled himself and she rolled her eyes, “your life was going to suck just a little but, the thing is… Uh, Jackie? I don’t like Milo because he is not the guy for you.”

He palmed her hand softly, she moved her head to one side. What was he truly trying to say? “Brooke doesn’t like him either and for the same reason! It’s just—when I married Brooke, I always pictured you with a guy who would like to hang out with us and who will just _fit_ , not force himself to. And Milo is a great guy! And he has a lot of money, like A LOT!” he said, she nodded. “But you are not fun anymore…” he sighed.

Looking at his face, Jackie finally saw some honesty on him directed to her. Years ago, she would had killed for this to happen. Coming into terms with how he had affected her life in Chicago was difficult without Steven or Donna at her side; once Donna returned to be her friend, things were better. Yet, It wasn’t until Milo that she finally let it go.

But Michael, he had gone with his life as if nothing had happened. He tried to talk to Steven once, and never asked for forgiveness from her. After a while she just accepted it will never happen. Now, seeing him accepting his life had been way smoother than hers and that he had something to do with it, was almost fascinating.

“Did I ruin your life?” he murmured, Jackie shook her head.

“Not really, idiot.” she answered, her hand traveled to stand over his. “It just happened. It’s not like if me and Steven wouldn’t had found another excuse to end each other.” she sighed. “He was already lost, I was already in another place.”

“I’m so sorry.” he said. “Before me and Brooke started to go out again, she was seeing this doctor.” he nodded. “It made me feel like crap, nothing had hurt like that. And we weren’t together! Fez and Donna told me I deserved it because that was just the minimum of how I made you feel when we were _together_.”

“Oh. Oh, my god. Michael,” she leaned towards his face, was this really happening? “keep talking.”

“Brooke makes me believe I can do everything as good as anybody else.” his fingers played with hers, it made her smile the way she felt it. “You once said that you liked Hyde more than you liked me because he made you think, I think? Brooke makes me think, too. Betsy does too. She is such a brain! I don’t know what I’m going to do when she goes to High School! She is going to go to college when she is eleven if things keep going like this…”

Like always, his conversation went from it to different topics every time in a while. Ideas always crashed with each other when Michael was doing the talking, it was like if his own brain couldn’t stand staying still for a few minutes. And like many times before, it made her smile.

“Uh?” he stopped, for the constipated expression he was making, Jackie understood he was thinking and she laughed as he stood. “I forgot what I was saying, but—anyway, I just wanted to say that. I’m very sorry, Jackie. About, like—everything. The other girls and the burns, and Hyde. I’m very, very sorry about Hyde.”

He moved slowly towards her face and she looked as he descended until his lips touched her, a fairy tale image identical to what their relationship had been to her younger self and she smiled. Her fingers brushed her lips, and this time she didn’t cry. Michael smiled at her when the kiss ended, and he took another look to her wall before sighing.

“Brooke says you can marry whoever you want.” he said. “It’s okay. I will be a good friend as long as Milo is a good guy to you.” he nodded. “You know I will always love you a little, right? One can’t just forget Jackie Burkhart!”

She nodded, a big smile on her lips. “I love you too, Michael.”

In calm, he walked to the door and Jackie followed, she could swear to hearing a piano somewhere and the giggle of the girl she was, running at the mall so her boyfriend won’t catch her. He did at the end, taking her in arms and spinning with her until her laugh was everything around them.

Michael had fell to the ground that day, back when they were kids and had started to date and didn’t knew what was coming, that they weren’t mean to be. But in that moment, for her and for him, too, they were everything to each other. He was the love of her life in that time.

“Hey, Hyde!” Michael called, when Steven looked up, Jackie’s breath stopped and she only looked at them.

Because she met Steven thanks to Michael, and Steven make her realize she couldn’t make people around her to be the things she wished them to be. He had taught her how to protect herself, that she was worth so much more than what her mother made her believe, and that she would never had to walk alone as long as he was around. He had become the Next One, and The One, and The Only.

“Buddy, I just… uh, you know how we never talked about Chicago?”

Steven didn’t say anything, he looked at Michael like trying to resolve a puzzle. “What?”

Michael shrugged and signaled her room with one finger. “I just told her about it. Listen,”

She crossed her arms, standing between them as Steven frowned at the conversation. He was uncomfortable with Michael’s babbling but seemed incapable of stopping it. They heard him say his version of that night and Jackie nodded at his words, because he was saying the truth.

With his typical exaggerations about himself, but the truth no less. She looked at Brooke talking to Fez with her big belly, her girl jumping between them and her baby boy was in his uncle’s arms. For a second she wondered if she knew the kind of effect she had on Michael, how there was a before and after her in his life.

It was amazing, and Jackie realized she envy it a little.

“The point is… I’m sorry.”

Not because of Michael, but because—well. Maybe she wanted to be that in someone’s life, too.

“You know, Kelso…” Steven sighed. “I actually didn’t have a reason to be mad. When I told Jackie to have a good trip, it was over. She asked me for hope for months and I gave her crap. Even if you two had slept together, it wasn’t my place anymore…” he scratched the back of his head and Jackie’s arms fell to her sides. “I would have deserved that pain, anyway.”

“But we didn’t!” he reminded Steven. “She was going to kick me out when you came in, she had even talked to Brooke already. You can ask her.” He said, Steven nodded and didn’t look convinced at all. So many years and he still thought so little of her for that night… “Uh, Hyde? No offense, but Jackie would never do something like that.” Michael said, signaling her room again. “She is not us, buddy.”

 _‘She is not us’_. Jackie wondered if Michael realized he was probably hurting Steven, or if it was his intention all along. Sleeping with Michael that time was never her intention, he had started to pester her with the idea and when she gave in, she did it to keep Steven away from her mind.

It was the worst idea she ever had, and even if Steven hadn’t appeared in that moment, she already had called Brooke to spend the night at her place, she was only waiting for Michael to come back and inform him about it.

“It was a misunderstanding.” Steven said. “And I didn’t listen…”

“Yeah, like with that hot nurse, right?” Michael said, she shook her head. Yeah, that. “She listened to you and you didn’t—Oh…” He seemed to finally understand the magnitude of that mistake and he palmed Steven’s shoulder. “I’m very sorry.”

Steven nodded, his hand squeezed Michael’s shoulder and he walked back at where Brooke and Fez stood, but Michael called him patting his shoulder with a finger.

“You should talk to her.” he suggested. “Now that we are leaving, I’m going to ask Fez to go with us. Talk to Jackie, Hyde. It feels good, I swear.”

Steven didn’t react at first, he only looked at Michael like trying to find an excuse. His lips went white when he put them on a line and nodded. She hoped it was true, that he will soon find his way back to her room and say something directed to her beyond participating in the conversations of their friends.

“Maybe if you kiss her, she will wake up.”

Jackie smiled. Maybe.

Michael walked to his family, Brooke looked up at him and smiled, immediately cuddling to his chest when he put an arm on her shoulders. Jackie smiled at the image, seeing them like this made her quite happy for the way her story with Michael ended.

When Steven sighed behind her, she looked back. He was looking at her room with a strange frown. He wasn’t upset, his eyebrows looked thick and his lips were put on a line. Steven lowered his eyes to the ground and walked slowly to sit down far from their friends.

He was sad.

******

_August 3, 1981. Madison – Donna and Eric’s Apartment. 3:49 pm._

Visiting his friends also meant visiting Jackie, which also meant seeing her with this Harrington guy and hell, it was still a thing from another world to watch the guy make her laugh and give her kisses on the cheek and neck while they sat down together in the living room, pretending to be part of the conversation.

Hyde swallowed, he needed to start getting used to it or he would completely lose her presence in his life.

They eat in peace, Forman cracking stupid nerdy jokes with Harrington, making the girls roll their eyes and him lift an eyebrow. Fez and Kelso didn’t like Harrington, while Forman seemed to have bonded quickly with him and Hyde wondered if it had something to do with the fact that he and the other guys had feelings for Jackie once.

Maybe his dislike of this genuinely great guy was that kind of ridiculous, but still acceptable. Anyone would understand. Now, if someone also heard what he did in the past, then they would cast a dirty look his way, thinking he deserves the pain of seeing Jackie smile to this guy and feed him without even looking once in his direction.

Unbelievable. Even when they had been broken up when he was fake married, he could feel Jackie’s love around him, but now? It was gone, completely gone. He needed to move on, too.

So, “Hey, Jackie?”, he called her attention and everyone else’s after dinner, they were all hanging on the living room. “Can I talk to you for a second? It won’t take too long.”

She looked at him and then at the floor, like valuing if being alone with him for a few minutes may affect or not her day. Jackie was never rude to him, she always tried to smile at him and say hi when they saw each other, but he understood if deep down she hated him.

Really, maybe if she hated him one day, things would be easier for him. For them.

“Sure.” she answered after what felt like forever. “I’ll be back in a second.” she murmured to Harrington at her side, he nodded and kissed her nose, making her giggle before standing from the couch.

Everyone’s eyes were on him while he followed her to her small bedroom, and he ignored the soaring feeling the best he could.

This place, Hyde took a look to it, had been Forman and Donna’s spare room before Jackie decided to move and start collage; they never wanted to have a roommate because of the privacy thing. But Jackie was family, even when Forman wasn’t happy at first, it had worked out fine.

Her room wasn’t pink and full of rainbows, flowers and hearts like in Point Place. Just a few of her old stuffed animals stood near her bed, and none on it. She didn’t have posters and banners, or anything that reminded her of her old life. Not even the flags from High School’s football team, or the Madison one; nothing like that.

“So…” she started, her back looked far away even when she was just a few steps ahead. “What do you want to talk about?” she turned around near her bed, her fingers playing with each other.

This was the most they had spent alone since he moved out of her apartment, almost a year ago.

“Uh?” he looked at her and she sat down on her bed, waiting for him to talk. “It’s just—“

To find his words shouldn’t be this difficult, but it was him. Words will always be a problem to him. Even during junkie reunions, he was so reluctant to speak, he had done anything for months until Izzy, his grandmother, almost slapped reason to him.

Jackie deserved an apology, “I’m sorry.” So he started with that. “About… everything. The way things ended between us and Chicago, and… everything else, too.”

Her silence was something he wanted the most during their last months together before Chicago, now every time he was in the cold of it, he couldn’t stand it. This time, she looked at him for a few seconds before nodding and looking up again, the first real smile she had sent his way in almost a year on her face.

“Thank you, Hyde.”

Looking at her and her genuinely glad face, Hyde realized he should had done this a while ago. But in that time, he wasn’t himself. He had lost a bet with his own life, let Bud and Edna in when he promised and fought so hard to never let it happen. It had costed him his entire life and now it was his job to stand up and re-build everything.

And Jackie. He couldn’t lose Jackie. So he smiled, and he let her go back to her boyfriend and their friends.

******

_Point Place’s General Hospital—Waiting Area. 2:03 pm._

Hyde was not going to be one of those who talks to a sleeping person and tells them everything he had been hiding for years. If he was telling Jackie all the crap he has been holding onto, it was going to be once she was awake and out of danger.

For a long time he didn’t tell her everything he felt and what she wanted to hear, and if he was going to try and make things work out between them this time, he was going to start right.

With this in mind, he stayed outside that room while the Kelsos and Fez got ready to leave. Mrs. Forman and Red appeared just in time, saying goodbye to the young family and the foreign friend. They sat down in the waiting area after Mrs. Forman announced Jackie’s doctor was coming and they were going to run some tests on her.

“Are you alright, Mrs. Forman?” he asked after several minutes of silence, Red had looked at them talking and Hyde sighed when he understood he wasn’t going to listen an answer any time soon.

The doctor arrived before Mrs. Forman could answer anyway, his team entered Jackie’s room to take her away for tests while he talked to Red and Mrs. Forman. Hyde stood near them, listening to what was going on.

“I’m worried about her brain.” the doctor said to Mrs. Forman. “She survived the first 24 hours pretty well, but her signs aren’t showing any progression. If she doesn’t wake up or has any cerebral activity stronger than yesterday, she may stay this way for a long time.”

“But why?” Mrs. Forman said and Hyde looked at her immediately.  “I’ve been checking her file, her injuries shouldn’t be this deep to put her to sleep. There wasn’t any signals of an impact on her head…”

“Yes, this is why we are taking her right now. I’m worried we—I’m worried there is something we are not seeing.”

After a few seconds of silence, Mrs. Forman nodded. “In—in case of having a prolonged coma, how are we going to proceed?”

“The insurance may be enough. Don’t worry about that. Mrs. Forman, right now let’s just make sure we have all our options clear to find an answer out of this.” he smiled. “You know, sometimes there are cases… the brain is in such shock after this kind of heavy accidents, it doesn’t want to wake up just yet.”

Mrs. Forman nodded and the doctor looked inside to give a few instructions and make his team of nurses and specialist take Jackie away.

He couldn’t watch this, Hyde walked away from the scene and only listened to the bed moving and the people walking. The doctor kept talking about how the brain needed to rest enough for it to bring Jackie back; if it was shocked, then they didn’t have any more options.

When he looked back at the scene, Jackie and the nurses were about to turn at the corner before the elevators and Hyde’s breathing stopped for a second, watching her leave. Her sleeping form was one of the most peaceful images he has ever seen, he loved seeing her sleep. But, right now—he wanted the gift of her smile and shining eyes.

“Mrs. Forman,” the doctor continued, “do you want to wait here or to come with us? Either way, I can’t tell you anything until everything is settle, in about two or even three hours.”

“I know, don’t worry about that. Red,” she looked at him, Red put a hand on her lower back and listened with attention, “would it be okay if I go? I would feel calmer.”

“Of course, Kitty. Don’t worry about it. Steven can stay to wait for the kids.”

“Steven?” she looked at him, he had walked back at their side after hearing his name and she smiled almost sad at him. “Do you want to stay? Or do you want to come?”

He understood why would he come, why would she think he wanted to be there. And while maybe yes, he wanted it, the truth was that Hyde was having problems handle this new information. He shook his head, Mrs. Forman took his hand and squeezed it gently.

“Are you alright, honey?”

“Yeah…” he murmured. What else could he said? He smiled again. “I’ll wait for the others, tell them about the tests. It’s fine.”

“Tell them I’ll explain to them all about this, okay?”

“Sure, man.”

Her motherly care was something he loved since he was a kid, right now it made him feel better like after being beating by his parents and running away to the Formans’. Red and Mrs. Forman walked away with the doctor a few seconds later, and he waited for them to disappear from his closer view to finally let go of the deep sigh he had trapped on his chest.

Jackie could be sleeping for a long time. If the doctor was worried about her brain, then some damage could be found and suddenly, it all become real and tangible.

That little girl, Harley, she had lost part of her memories and wasn’t talking much. What about Jackie? Would something like that happen to her? Something worse? And what if she never—he stopped running from it, he squeezed his closed eyes with his index finger and thumb, because… what if she never woke up at the end?

He could lose Jackie. Fucking hell, he could truly lose Jackie forever.

******

_February 25, 1981. Grandma Izzy’s house – New York City. 8:39 am._

“I’m dying…”

“Oh, boy. You are worse than your father when he got sick as a kid. And he was six years old when he did these dramas!” Izzy said.

Hyde felt her move the wet cloth out of his forehead, and then put a new one. He wasn’t sure of the hour or the day, but he knew he had been in the darkness of this room for a long time. It didn’t bother him, he was sure if he could see the sun his eyes would be burning and to know the passing of the hours may probably trigger his anxiety even more.

Scratching his skin had costed him Izzy staying at his side almost all the time. When she wasn’t in the room, then came WB or Angie. Neither was better than the other, they kept their watch like loyal trained dogs and _God_ , he would kill for a shot right now.

But he won’t. that was what was important. He won’t, no matter how much his body asked for it, his mind was the one taking control now. Or that was Izzy’s intention all along.

“You are not dying, you are just taking the trash out of your body.” she said, helping him to sit down on the bed. Once he was facing her, Izzy offered him a glass with water. “Come on, it’s been a long day. Put something good on that mouth.”

“I would make an euphemism…” he started but drank what was given, all of it, then left the glass on the night’s table. “But I’m dying anyway.”

“Agh, you are so full of shit.” She laughed. “Get up, you smell like wet dog and dope cat.”

“What?” he tried not to laugh, every time he did his abdomen hurt and he felt like vomiting again, but he couldn’t help it. “Dope cat? What a dope cat smells like, Izzy? And how the hell do you know that, man?”

“You kids think drugs and parties belong to only you and your pretentious breed.” Izzy said, she had walked across the room to the bathroom. For what Hyde could hear, his grandmother had turned on the bath’s water and was probably waiting for him to finally react to it. “Like if rock and roll wasn’t born from down streets late at night, from soul and blues and jazz before your Zeppelin and Stones, or even Beatles and that Elvis with his pelvis and his big hair.”

He smiled. Grandma rock and roll was real and it was his. When he got to meet her, his first impression was of a small lady with greying hair, but once she started to talk business, he understood his father’s love for music. Izzy had a beloved jazz club in the city, it used to be the place she once was a showgirl of, and his grandfather, the owner of it.

“Come on, bath is ready. I can’t have a grandchild that smells like the fifties at its worse.”

Groaning, Hyde walked to the bathroom and undressed once the woman was out and the door was closed. Being here had been awkward at first. If accepting help almost killed him for the embarrassment, having to be babysat was the worse. But Izzy made it all look and feel easier. The worst has happened, this was his third day after detoxification and his body was starting to feel better, at least a little.

The water felt good, it was warm on his tensed muscles and his eyes closed with the sound of Izzy’s jazz music outside. He knew his grandmother was going to be there when he leaves the bathroom, so he couldn’t truly take his time; making Izzy wait wasn’t something he actually liked, so better get this over now.

“Steven?” he heard her calling from outside. He made a sound to make her understand he was listening. “Do you know what your grandfather’s name was?”

He did. Hyde knew his grandfather died at a young age, and had a middle name that started with a ‘J’ like his. Izzy had a ring she used on a small chain with the initial SJB on it. It was Jonathan, the middle name.

“I don’t know if your mother knew, but I’m glad she called you that.” And Steven was his first name, like his. “You know what it means?”

He laughed. Izzy loved all this crap of destiny, and stars, and meanings. It reminded him of tender days and soft smells on lazy mornings, the humidity of his room at the Formans’ seeming warm because of _her_. Maybe that’s why he had this comfort with his grandmother.

“Asshole?”

She laughed while he poured water over his head, his curls sticking on his neck and the shampoo smelling of coffee. He used it on his hair, waiting for the older woman to tell him the information.

“Well, I have met many Stevens who are, in fact, anal cavities.” She said. “Included you.” He laughed next, standing on the bath to clean his body. He felt like a child sitting on his grandma’s bath and cleaning his hair, but it was also a comfortable feeling and, for the first time in many years, he didn’t care. “Commonly, it means ‘crown’ and ‘wreath’.”

“What are you trying to say, Izzy?” he looked at the dirt between his nails and knew it was time to cut them. Carefully, he started to take it off his nails and wondered what was that with the names?

“But in Greek,” she ignored his question and Hyde smiled to himself. When his nails were done, he took the soap bar and started with the bottom of his stomach and back, going up his sides and chest, “it means ‘victorious’. It means victorious, Steven.”

“And the point is?” it came out more as a murmur, he wasn’t expecting her to hear it anyway. With soap on his shoulders, he went for his neck and left his face for another time.

“The point is, it’s not in your nature to give up.”

He stopped soaping his legs and stared to nowhere in front of him. _‘You know what your problem is, Steven? You are too afraid to accept you are a warrior. And a protector. That’s why I’m always happy when you do things for yourself, not to make me happy, but to make_ us _happy’_ , Jackie had told him once.

“Don’t give up on yourself, miracle boy.”

******

_December 04, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Waiting Area._

Jackie hadn’t wanted to go with her body for more tests. She had been present for the operation and the first tests after she was put on her hospital room, and none had been pretty. If she wakes up with the memories of all this, she was sure some nightmares were coming her way about weird machines and needles, and all kind of horrible smells, ugly white clothes and cold colors on a small room.

She looked at her side. Steven was sitting with his eyes covered by his sunglasses, looking down at his interlaced fingers, as if thinking out of this world, not caring about the life going on around him. She wanted to know what was running so fast on that brilliant mind of his, but instead of doing something to know, she put her hand over his and her head on his shoulder.

Minutes passed. He had started to move nervously his feet, tapping on the floor and moisten his lips every few seconds, still thinking. Jackie sighed when he brought his hand to his mouth, her ghostly one now resting on his thigh as they waited for her body to come back with the Formans and new information.

But he stood, walking far from her room and she followed. After a few seconds, she realized where they were going and her eyes followed his back to the terrace where the day’s light almost got her blind.

Not feeling anything was still weird, but light didn’t stop being annoying even like this.

He was going to smoke now, right? He hadn’t since yesterday and she hoped—yeah. Jackie sighed, standing at his side when he leaned his elbows on the balcony, looking down at the city. She had to remind herself that Steven was not going to change for her, and that if he wanted to smoke, she had no voice on that.

Just because he had admitted to love her, it didn’t mean his life was going to stop and that the things that were part of him now, were going to disappear. He was never going to be the Steven she fell for when she was a kid, and she was not going to be the Jackie he fell for too.

Did she love this Steven, though? Hard working, always Zen, always there, still the coolest guy in the room, still the sweetest, Steven?

“I do…” she murmured, her fingers touching the fabric of his blazer. “Even if you smoke.”

But he didn’t.

Instead, he looked nervous and worried, then walked inside when several minutes had passed. There was no sight of her body and the Formans when they got back inside, so he kept walking, this time down the cafeteria to get a terrible coffee (she supposed this for the expression of his eyebrows when he drank it), and then went back to the waiting area. Nothing.

This time, they walked to the other side of the building, to the kids’ section and Jackie smiled. She was probably smiling wide and hard, but Harley wasn’t in her room either. She was in exams too, while her aunts were at Kat’s service. Steven sighed with her, walking back, every time slower than the last step.

He smiled suddenly, a memory had popped up on his mind probably, and Jackie wanted to know. And he turned, eyes closed, happy smile and Elton John’s _Tiny Dancer_ near them, and kept walking with the tune on his lips. She stood behind, admiring this.

She has never seen that before… Steven was alone, sticking around, waiting for her to be fine, singing a chick’s song, as he would say.

“Ballerina, you must have seen her…” they had left the song behind, but he kept singing the chores every three and ten seconds, “dancing in the sand.” But he never said the next lines, just made a long pause and singed other verses, then started all over again.

“Now she’s in me…” she continued, looking at him who had gone silent. “Always with me…” but he didn’t continue the song, “A tiny dancer in my hand…” she sighed.

They kept walking until he started the chorus again, and once more, he didn’t sang the rest of it, “Hold me closer, tiny dancer…” he sang.

When they arrived to her room, she had sung the lines five times and wanted to hear them form him. Mrs. Forman was sitting with her hands on her face and Mr. Forman’s hand on her back. Steven looked at them pale like a ghost and slowly walked over, looking inside her room to confirm she was there, and yes, her body was being put on its bed’s spot.

“Everything okay?” he said.

Mr. Forman looked at him for long seconds, then moved his head to indicate him to take a seat. Steven didn’t. He went to Mrs. Forman’s face level and waited for her to finally decide to see him.

“Mrs. Forman?”

“There’s no brain activity…” she answered.

Did—did that mean she was dead? Jackie swallowed and stood in front of the family. Steven’s hands had moved to take Mrs. Forman and she was looking at him with teary eyes.

“How is that possible?” he said, his voice sounded so low, she almost didn’t hear it.

“I mean—there is, but is so minimal, it’s not a good sign.”

“Which I understand is bad…” Steven nodded. “Because…?”

“The most time she spends like this, the less the probabilities of her waking up.”

Jackie’s eyes went bigger than usual, she felt her body heavy and suddenly not there, so she ran inside her room. Nurses were connecting her body to new machines and she swallowed. What was going on?

“She’s not waking up any time soon, Steven.” Jackie heard Mrs. Forman said outside. “I’m so sorry, I’m so—so sorry…”

She swallowed, walking to her body and looked at her face like if the answer was right on her head. One of the nurses was looking at the drawings on her wall, and it was cold. The white of the sheets, the blue of the couch, the walls, and her face, everything was cold and too tin, too white, too unreal.

“She’s a mother?” the nurse looking at her wall asked Nora. “Look at these… and this one in particular, she has a daughter?” Harley’s drawing, she was looking at Harley’s drawing.

“Don’t touch that, Gretta.” Nora said. “She isn’t, her file marked her as single and no children. Must be the little girl that is always here, Betsy. It’s a cutie pie.”

“Oh…”

“You are such a loved girl,” Nora said to her body and Jackie looked at her, “don’t give up on yourself, beautiful.”

“Steven?” Mrs. Forman’s voice came outside, she looked back and could only see Mr. Forman’s arm, he had stood up. “Steven! Steven, come back!”

Jackie run outside, the couple was standing, looking at the hallway with worried and sickened expressions. And, in the distance, Steven was running away again.

Like many other times before, she felt tired. She couldn’t keep following him.

She couldn’t keep pretending any of this was fine.

It was cold, and it was white, and she walked away.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: All it’s white, and it’s cold and Jackie’s tired. Hyde hasn’t come back, and everyone hears the latest news, and Jackie decides it’s time.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	17. Miracle Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All it’s white, and it’s cold and Jackie’s tired. Hyde hasn’t come back, and everyone hears the latest news, and Jackie decides it’s time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Thank you for your comments and support in chapter 16, it means a lot :) I hope you all like this chapter. Five more to go and we are done!
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/157402272850/heart-like-yours-chapter-xvii-miracle-boy) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XVII – Miracle Boy**

_November 24, 1982. Grandma Izzy’s house, New York City. 11:38 pm._

If he walked in silence but fast, he could skip an encounter with Izzy and WB.

Hyde drove Jackie back to her friend’s apartment, and while the night had turned pretty good, he wasn’t ready for _The_ _Talk_ with his father and grandmother. Especially not after learning Jackie was single again, that she had broken off her engagement, and was **single**.

Man, Jackie was **_single_**.

This was so unlikely to happen, he knew it since she first went out with Milo back in 1980. But suddenly, she was single and 1982 wasn’t so bad. And while he knew there was honestly little chance for them to maybe hitting it right this time, for her to even want him like that ever again, he would take the tiniest of the oportunities anyway.

Even if at the end she wanted him far away from her. Whatever she wanted, she would do it.

“Stevie, sneaking around your grandma will leave you with zero pie in the morning.”

How on Earth was this woman real? He closed his eyes and counted to three, then walked away from the stairs and back to Izzy and a laughing WB who was finishing his drink.

“Hey, grandma.”

“How is your tiny sun?”

“Safe and sound at her friend’s.”

“Good!” she smiled at him, offering a glass with whiskey. He shook his head and hand no, but sat down at the largest couch. “You can take one, you know?”

“I’m reserving myself for the wedding and the holidays.” he answered, WB stood and walked to the mini-bar at the record player’s side. “She had a lot of fun tonight.”

“What about you?” she smiled.

“You know I live for free food, grandma.” he answered, putting both hands behind his head and his feet under the coffee table.

WB laughed and walked to him, giving him a cocktail without alcohol to ‘make your brain believe it’, like he put it months ago. “He’s happy, Izzy. Look at him.”

“He’s lighting our little hell here… I’m going to expel you at this peace, Stevie.”

“Shut up, you two…” he murmured before drinking the thing. It tasted sweet, the lack of alcohol was obvious, but it was a _drink_ anyway.

“She’s really, really pretty. You didn’t mention that before.” She was talking to her son, but Hyde rolled his eyes knowing about who she was talking about. Izzy looked at him next. “When you took her to the club the other night, I couldn’t see her face that clearly. Before, I always got the impression she was too materialistic for her own good. That’s what I got from your talking, anyway.”

“And your point is?” he smiled.

“Well, she has reasons to be! I would expect to have the Queen of England wanting me to marry her sons if I had that face, too!” Hyde laughed with his dad now, Izzy always had the best occurrences and tonight was no exception. “And she—“ her hands moved near her face, signaling what he liked the most about Jackie, “she shines! And laughs a lot, that’s good.” he signaled him. “Women that laugh are the best, and she is so pretty, she will probably never have a single wrinkle!”

“Izzy…” he smiled at her and sighed. “What’s your point?”

“She’s single!” of course, he nodded. “What a wonderful surprise, isn’t it? Just like a week ago you were mopping around about her engagement, as you always have since I met you—“

“Izzy…”

“And look! Single!” she laughed, Hyde shook his head and finished his fake drink in one long gulp. “One would believe these things doesn’t happen in real life, BUT!” she finally looked at him. “We are Barnetts, we do miracles.”

“Oh, no.” he laughed. That old saying, WB tormented him with it when he went to him for help, living with him and Angie had been crazy when his AA therapy started, but it worked out fine at the end.

“Yes, yes we do!” she said. “You have a little chance here, Steven. It’s risky and it’s crazy, but what else isn’t a little bit hurtful at the beginning?”

“Aaaaaand,” WB started and Hyde braced himself for what was coming, “you are still in love with her.”

“Obviously so!” Izzy added. “So. Are you going to defeat Angie and give me great grandchildren first?”

He looked at both, his father and grandmother. _‘Barnetts do miracles’_ , but—he, could he do that too? Because he was going to need one big divine act if Jackie was taking him back. Her little smile after kissing his cheek and saying goodnight make him laugh in front of his family. There was just one way to know if the saying was part of him, too and he nodded.

WB clapped after that. “That’s what I wanted to see.”

“So,” Izzy looked at him, “what are you planning to do, handsome miracle?”

That. He didn’t like that. Hyde looked at his grandmother and talked softly. “Izzy, I’m no miracle. Handsome, of course. But miracles are for suddenly awaken comatose people and pretty babies out of ugly parents.”

“How can you say that, Stevie?” she smiled at him. “For how many years I asked for another grandchildren? Look what life threw my way.” she palmed his hand affectionately. “You may have not been planned and were totally unexpected, but not less welcomed and wanted.” when he looked at his father, he was smiling his way and nodding. Hyde looked back at Izzy.

“We may have not seen you grow up, son, but you should know” his father said, lifting his drink in his direction, “that this is your home.”

He didn’t have words for all this, but it wasn’t a bad kind of overwhelmed either.

As a matter of fact, Hyde knew he was one big lucky bastard; life had smiled his way a lot these past years, like trying to compensate him for his shitty childhood until The Formans took him in, until Jackie took him in.

Even after the kind of crap he put them all through, it seemed like there was something or someone wanting him to prove the odds wrong, that he could do something good at the end. And now, here he was.

“You are a dream come true here, boy. Don’t forget that.”

He closed his eyes, remembering that night after the San Valentine’s dance, Jackie in his arms smiling at him in the bliss of her post-orgasm tenderness, _‘You are my dream!’_ she had told him.

She was his, too.

******

_December 04, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Waiting Area. 4:26 pm._

Little after Mrs. Forman put everyone on track with what was going on, Eric went to do phone calls again to inform the rest of the crew who was trying to get some sleep and other things done. His mother even gave him her mother’s number and instructions to say exactly what she wrote on the reverse of the paper, that way it would be clear for her why was this update so important.

Seeing her friends accepting with mourning expressions her inminet destiny should have made Jackie sick, but it didn’t at all. Instead, she was kind of grateful for their calm and solemnmet faces. She wouldn’t had been able to stand more drama, this had already reached a tremendous point anyway.

Jackie had chose to sit down at the waiting area while everyone stayed in silence, heads down and sighs making a new song in the air. Steven hadn’t gotten back yet, and she didn’t had the energy to look after him, and it seemed like everyone else had thought like her.

If he wanted to be alone, fine. She recognized it was only natural. Steven wasn’t someone who allowed the public view to find him in his weakest moments and, had she been in his place, looking at him not waking up any time soon, she wouldn’t have liked to be around anyone.

“I couldn’t call Milo…” Eric said when he came back. No one had entered her room since her body was brought back, the only sound in her mind was the present she was seeing. “He hasn’t slept since he got here, I just thought—we are staying here anyway and this is not… changing, so…”

Mrs. Forman nodded, one hand on Eric’s shoulder. “It’s fine. Did you call her mother?”

“Uh, yeah.” He scratched the back of his head. “I actually had to leave a message, they hadn’t arrived yet.”

“Damn…” Mrs. Forman sighed and Jackie nodded to herself, remembering her mother was still on her way to Los Angeles, or maybe went directly to Valentine’s event. The older woman sighed and Eric put a hand on her back. “Steven hasn’t come back, I’m a little worried.”

“He was here when the doctor said this about Jackie, yes?” Eric more commented than asked, Mrs. Forman nodded looking sad. “Give him time, mom. This is…” he looked around, to everyone sitting with sleepy eyes and curved lips to the ground. “This is not going well for any of us.”

“I know, honey.” She said. “I just don’t want him to be alone. He has been alone for so long, I don’t want him feeling like that again.”

“Well…” he tried a tiny smile. “He isn’t, mom.”

******

_November 23, 1982. Fox Lake Correctional Institution, Wisconsin. 10:25 am._

Jackie’s father had always seemed like a man out of time, nervously laughing and looking at his watch every five and three seconds.

The first time Hyde actually treated with him, he was a stupid kid who wanted to make fun of the rich guy that gave his daughter everything he didn’t had without knowing Jackie was as alone as him.

When the man knew they were together two years later, he had laughed and gave Jackie a small hug (and money every week until he was thrown into jail).

Next time they saw each other, Jackie was in the berge of tears and Mr. Burkhart had gotten a new haircut, and more times followed that one. Supporting Jackie at that time seemed so far away now, even with how familiar the image of Jack Burkhart sitting on a gray metalic chair in front of him was.

“Thank you for stopping to listen, son.” Mr. Burkhart said, he nodded. Hyde didn’t feel like talking, not only because this man was not of his concern anymore, but because he wasn’t feeling like interacting with human beings at the moment. “So, that’s your step-father? Funny guy.”

“He is an asshole.” At least he could banter about Bud, Mr. Burkhart laughed.

“He is.” the man admited. “You look different.” he commented after a few tense seconds in silence. “You actually look _good_.”

Hyde looked at the man’s face, trying to figure out what was going on. Did he needed something? Or was he just this desperate to not go back inside? His arms were crossed since the second he sat down, and his nails had started to scratch on his skin over the material of his white shirt.

“My daughter told me about your problems.”

Of course she did. His arms fell at his side and he put a hand on his lips before looking at Mr. Burkhart with what could only be discomfort. This was too much.

“Do you need anything?”

“Actually,” he started in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone, “I genuanely am curious about how well you look and seem.” he admited. His fingers interlazed with each other over the table and sighed. “So, are you doing okay? Jackie hadn’t mentioned you in while, mostly because Milo comes with her, but she usually tells me when you do better.”

“I’m fine.” he admited. Talking about Jackie was not what he needed now. “Sober and working.”

“That’s great!” he said. The guard wasn’t even looking at his watch. Jack Burkhart still had presense and power even broke and in jail. Incredible. “Milo commented something about working with you and your sister, Jackie seemed a little off with that. These kids won’t tell me the truth, so, was there something wrong with it?”

“Not at all.” if none of them had wanted to give Mr. Burkhart details, then he was no one to do the opposite. “We worked just fine, he sold us his music stores and now they are Grooves Stores.”

“Grooves, right! William is your father, am I right?”

Hyde looked right at Mr. Burkhart’s eyes. “You know my father, sr?”

“Who doesn’t?” he shrugged. “Rich people tend to move in the same circles, especially in little cities like Point Place, Kenosha people tend to melt with us. They also tend to talk a lot. It was a big deal when you joined that world, to the point that I heard about it here.”

“I don’t—“

“Oh, but you did.” it was Hyde who shrugged now, Mr. Burkhart smiled soft at him and continued. “My ex-wife talks a lot about him, it’s a little nauseating.”

“Uh-mmn.” He smiled, trying hard not to laugh.

“Laugh. Laugh it out!” he added, and Hyde did start laughing. “That’s better.” he sighed. “So, the stores. You know my future in law as a business man. Do you think he is trustwworthy?”

The fact that he wanted to say no almost made him puke, he needed to stop being such an asshole to Milo and Jackie’s life. It wasn’t Milo’s doing that Jackie had move on, that she had rejected him either. If he kept with the negative shit, nothing good was going to come out of it. So he sighed and nodded, Mr. Burkhart nodded back and cleared his throat.

“What is next for you, then?”

Wanting to ask why Mr. Burkhart was asking all this was going to be a waste of time, the little chat wasn’t exactly awkward but it was still strange. But at the end, Hyde only answered like he would any other person.

“Stay sober.” he started to do patterns under the table with his index finger, not looking at the man in front. “Maintain the stores… that’s in the near future.”

“So you now have a future.”

Hyde stopped all movements at that. For a second, he imagined Jackie telling this man what had happened between them, why she came back from Chicago with a broken heart and dead dreams. He wondered if the man was planning on giving him a piece of his mind or he was just truly lonely and wanted to talk. He continued the patterns after the small pause.

“Yeah, there is one now.” he answered, then sighed. “Buy a house, that’s next.”

“Oh, you want a house? That’s great.”

“Yeah, I think… just to have something of my own, that would be nice.”

“It does feels nice, isn’t it?” he smiled. “Are you going to help your step-father?”

Hyde nodded and sighed as well. “Is that stupid?”

“It’s noble.” Mr. Burkhart scratched the back of his head. “Not everyone does something like that for a man who was never a father.” his admission sounded familiar, like an apology. This man didn’t owe shit to him, but his tone said something different. Maybe he was just thinking of his daughter. Or maybe he thought he owed something to him, or the people like him.

Hyde blinked a couple of times; with a finger, he pushed his shades back on its place and prepared to say his goodbye to Mr. Burkhart. Whatever it was the man wanted, Hyde didn’t had much time to keep playing around it, so he better say something else soon.

“I… kind of need to be going, I have a flight to catch. To New York, actually.”

“You are seeing my daughter, maybe?” Hyde shook his head. “Too bad…” Mr. Burkhart shrugged again and seemed to finally decide to talk. “Son, can I ask for a favor? It’s nothing bad or too problematic, I swear.”

“Maybe you should tell me what is it about first.”

“Oh, I just want you to see if Robert Pinciatti got my letter and Barney’s check.” he laughed. “I know Red got his, he came last week to insult me.”

“What…?”

“Oh!” Mr. Burkhart did a hand gesture, explaining the situation. “There’s people that still owe me money, my brother takes care of that. Every time he gets a payment, I have told him to give it to Jackie if the payment to the big guys has let a chance for it. But months ago, she came here and told me she doesn’t want it.” the man made a pause, a guard had passed at their stand and maybe he didn’t want the guy to know about this money. “So she suggested I should thank the people who took care of her. I sent some of the money to the Formans and well, Red didn’t take it well. And I want to know if Robert got his.”

“Uh…” Hyde’s eyebrows went high, then a smirk appeared on his face. “Some things never change.”

“No,” Mr. Burkhart smiled back, “they don’t.”

Giving money to show gratefulness and affection, a very Burkhart thing. No wonder why Jackie grew up thinking that was the only and righteous way to prove love and loyalty. But she was so much more now, she had always been more than her parents. Just like him.

“I’ll take care.” Hyde accepted.

“Do you--?”

“Don’t even think of that, sr. If I find a check on any Burkhart’s name, I’m throwing you the pieces on your face.” he said and he was serious, dead serious. “With all due respect.” because this was Jackie’s father still.

“Okay, then. It’s all sorted. Thank you, son.” he was about to answer, but Mr. Burkhart added with a transparent stare, some kind of pride and—admiration, coming from it. “You are a good man.”

A good man. Hyde swallowed and only shrugged when no words came out from his mouth.

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s room. Around 5 and 10 pm._

People had started to come and go from her room again, like the first day they let them in. Jackie stood with them while they talked, wishing her to get better soon, to please wake up. It had started with Morgan and Noah, who actually kissed her hand and reminded her she still owed her a small photoshoot in the CGBG.

She laughed it off, nervously wanting everyone out because—this felt like _it_. It was like if everyone were just saying their goodbyes to her. Now that it was obvious her brain activity was going down, it had suddenly got touchable that she may… not be here tomorrow.

Bruce came in after, he had apologized for coming late and for that time he accidentally saw her boobs when she had just move in with Milo. They had been fooling around in their couch when Bruce opened the door, all drunk and unhappy, announcing he was sure he was going to die alone.

He was a writer, Jackie reminded to herself, and he was usually even more dramatic than her. And he had seen her boobs by accident, so it was just fine. It still made her smile, that he had thought it was important to remind her that he was sorry.

“I don’t blame you for what didn’t went up between you and Milo,” he assured her, “I just hope you don’t believe him some kind of monster. He is not.” He smiled and Jackie nodded. “He may be cold, but he’s not an asshole. At least… not to most people.”

It made her laugh, Bruce always made her laugh. His accent got notrious every time he was nervous, but right now it was fine. His english was great and he had shut her up so many times, directly calling her racist twice. It had shook her world, to be pointed out and called out in such a polite way.

Ever since, Jackie understood she couldn’t dismiss people for living in poor countries and have different voice and eyes than her. Even when she still struggled with it, the shame of knowing she has been that nasty, it made her sick. She never wanted to be that again. And Bruce had saved her life in that way.

“I’ll be seeing you soon, I know it.” He said before standing and leaving her alone with the Formans.

None said much that she hasn’t hear before. Mrs. Forman explained to her the situation and how they had to go to the house to have some rest. She understood all of it. These had been crazy days and people needed a break, and she realized she was actually looking forward to be alone for a while.

That’s also why she wasn’t worried about Steven not being there. Jackie not only knew he was going to get along after all the time he needed, but also knew that she didn’t have much desire to see him or anyone else right now. Now was—intoxicating. Everything was happening and it was fast. She had no idea of what to do.

Was she going to die? Was she really going to fucking die?

“We love you, darling.” Mrs. Forman said and it stole a small smile from her. The woman kissed her forehead and Mr. Forman looked at her face, slowly taking her hand and kissing it. That totally made her smile. “There he is, the sweetest guy alive!”

“Yeez, Kitty. Let’s go.”

Laughing, Jackie saw more people coming. Bob, Fez, Michael and Brooke. All trying to look strong, to be strong for her. Donna and Eric, both not knowing what was going on and she thought of their wedding. She did it because Jackie was sure none of them was going to touch that theme soon. Her friend was in shock, crying out of nowhere and Jackie couldn’t do much about it but try to reach her, maybe her soul or her feelings, hugging her even when her friend would never feel it nor see it.

“You know we are your family, right?” Donna said once Eric had left, “So no matter what, we are here for you. Please, come home.”

Jackie nodded, head on Donna’s shoulder.

What did she need? What was that thing she was supposed to do so she could wake up or let her soul rest in peace? Betsy had mentioned unfinished stuff, but what was it? Even with all these questions floating around, time didn’t stop and the rest of the visits came by with it.

Vic and June, telling her about how many unpacking they had back at home once she wake ups and how sorry Alice was for not being there. It didn’t truly matter, if things kept this way, Alice was going to be able to see her once she came back to the country at the end of January. She wasn’t going anywhere—

******

_August 11, 1980. Jackie and Hyde’s apartment. 11:49 pm._

Jackie never thought she would be doing any of this. Not as a little girl, not even when her mother started to _grieve_ her father, not when she wanted to do the same for her lost man a year ago.

Now, she was soothing Steven with soft touches of her hand over his back, listening to the concert of his mouth throwing his entire stomach into the toilet of her apartment. Or should she call it theirs?

Fez had left just a week ago, and she knew Steven didn’t have anywhere else to go. He had started to pay for everything in the apartment even as Fez was still here and now, it was only fair to call him her official roommate.

When she daydreamed about living with him, this was the last thing on her mind.

“Fuck…” he murmured.

“Here…”

She helped him get away from the toilet, wiping his mouth with a wet towel and God, she should be disgusted. Why wasn’t she disgusted? The smell, the act and everything else was the last thing on her mind. She helped him with his mouth, then gave him a glass with water and he slipped it on the toilet again. Once he was done, Jackie flushed the toilet and looked at him with worried eyes.

“Steven?”

“I know, I know.”

He was trying to stay sober, to stay clean. But trying wasn’t enough, and her new acquired abilities as a nurse were getting better. She had gone to Mrs. Forman for advice on what to do for his hangovers and the episodes while DESINTOXICACION, and she had smiled at her, called her an angel.

Jackie wasn’t sure if she was an angel, or only stupid, but she owed her big for her patience and care, teaching her these things and giving her numbers to call if something went wrong.

“You can’t keep doing this, you were doing so good this week!”

“I’m sorry—“

“No!” she said, he leaned his back on the bathroom’s wall and looked at her with sore eyes. “No, Steven, you are not sorry. What is wrong with you? Why you keep doing this?”

He didn’t say anything but keep looking at her, Jackie sighed and looked at her fingers. Donna had told her to stop helping him, that she couldn’t keep stopping her life to help him. But if she didn’t do anything, no one else would.

The Formans’ weren’t going to help him anymore, and she didn’t blame them, she understood. But she, she couldn’t just leave him there. And everyone disagree with her, but seeing him like this, sitting on the bathroom with nothing in his eyes, God.

This was her place.

“I don’t know.” he finally answer.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to kick him, do something. But instead, she stood and offered her hand to him. Once they were standing, she sighed and send him to the shower.

“I hate that you never know anything.”

He didn’t laugh as he normally would, he only looked at her, like trying to apologize for all this.

But at the end, she sent him to take a shower and she went to his room, ordering the place a little so he won’t walk into anything, searching on his clothes for his pajamas and leaving two glasses with water on his night stand, and aspiring for the morning. A trash can at the side if he needed to throw up again.

Jackie almost hated herself for knowing what pajamas were more comfy for him, what damn underwear were his favorite for lazy days. He would prefer to go commando, but she wanted him to be as dressed as possible. And she played with the elastic of the black boxers as the water went off in the shared bathroom, and left the clothes on his bed when his steps filled her ears.

“Thank you…” he said, she didn’t look at him and only left the room so he could get dressed.

“Jackie?” he called her after a while, she looked over her shoulder and realized he was finishing putting his shirt on. She smiled at him from the frame door, and he sat down on his bed. “Thank you.”

“It’s fine.” she walked inside and sat down a few centimeters beside him. “But here is the thing, Steven: if you come back even just smelling of the tiny tiniest drop of alcohol, I’m kicking you out.”

He laughed, they all did every time she menaced with something. It has costed her years to understand people didn’t take her serious, so maybe the way to start was to do as she said when people dared to not listen to her. If Steven did this again, then he was out of her apartment. And her life.

Looking back at him, he freeze at her side and swallowed suddenly. “Crap, you are serious.”

“Oh, so what are you doing when you drink?” she said, “Playing?”

“No—“

“You know, Steven. Maybe I should start by calling WB,” she stood, crossing her arms over her chest and walking to the door again, “since you haven’t tell him the truth like a five years old. If you are not listening to Mrs. Forman, I don’t know why I thought you would listen to me!”

“Jackie, wait, wait!”

She barely turned to see him, he was looking at her like a frightened puppy and oh, if the image moved everything inside her.

“I’m just getting to know them…” he said, she frowned. “If you tell them about this, that’s it. I have nothing.”

Jackie’s heart knotted with her stomach and rose to her throat, she moved back to his bed and made him lay there, get some sleep. “Christ, you are drunk…” she said.

Steven’s last stage while drunk was too honest for his own good. He looked at her blinking, and she ended preparing him for sleep like a child. A few seconds more and she would be kissing his forehead, too.

“Okay, Steven…” she sighed. “I mean it, if you come back here drunk again, I’m calling WB. If that doesn’t work, I’m kicking you out.”

“I’m not a child, you know?”

“Stop acting like one.” they looked at each other for a few seconds before letting it go. “If you need something, just call.”

Again, she walked to the door and tugged it to close behind her, but his voice stopped her, “Why are you doing this?”

Her fingers played with the wood on the door, and she turned back slowly with a tiny smile. “It’s you.”

Steven didn’t say anything, for the lost expression on his face he didn’t understood what she was talking about, that he was that important and that especial, and she just needed him to be fine.

******

_December 4, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Waiting Area. 11:49 pm._

Visits ended with Milo and Victoria in Jackie’s room. He had come back at some point in the night, didn’t actually sleep any and was looking pale, almost dead, now more worried than before.

She had to sit down to listen to everyone say wonderful things she knew they won’t be saying in other sircunstances, and it didn’t bother her. It didn’t bother her that the tears were going down like open showers, or that her mother didn’t answered the phone. She only wondered if it was now official that she was going to haunt this hospital forever.

After a while, it was only Milo in her room.

She watched him cry his eyes out like he had been doing ever since he put a feet on this room, no moans or furter sound but the thick of his tears and his sored eyes closed. He didn’t remind her he would be fine letting her go if it meant she would come back, he didn’t say he loved her or offered to be better. His silence said everything she needed right now and she sat down at his side, head on his shoulder and mind everywhere but here.

Jackie knew no one had gone home but Brooke and the kids. Michael and Fez were sleeping one over the other in the waiting room, the Formans were with Bob, Noah and Rolo in the cafeteria picking something to eat for everyone else, while Donna, Vic and Morgan had stayed in the waiting area with wide open eyes, red and puffy, talking about everything but her.

Milo was here, while Bruce had wandered the smoking area and then found Steven going outside too. She had followed Bruce to get away from the talking, and both guys had greeted each other and share a moment at the entrance.

Jackie didn’t knew Steven and Bruce actually liked the other.

“I’m not gonna ask how are you doing, I can see it already…” Bruce had said and Steven had shook his head. “It’s going to work out just fine, you’ll see.” And he palmed Steven’s shoulder.

It didn’t truly surprised her. Bruce made friends easily and was a respectful person, he was also well educated and knew about everything at least a little. He also loved music, the same scandalous music Milo and Steven loved. So yeah, not a big surprise there.

What had been a surprise, was where Steven went after a few minutes in the terrace. He had stepped inside Harley’s room and had stayed in the couch with both her aunts, and had talked about Harley’s father.

“Sean?” Patty had asked, one hand near her mouth. “Are you sure? Sean Drake?”

“Yeah…” he showed them the notebook where the phone number was. “Look, Kat and I weren’t that close. But we all knew this asshole… I’m truly not surprised.”

She either. Sean was one of the most popular jocks at school when she had entered the cheerleader squad, and he was a moron who liked to take a look at the girls’ bathroom and see them undress. He was digusting… and he was Harley’s father. Harley’s irresponsable and asshole father.

“Yeah, they…” Brenda sighed. “My niece, she wasn’t in a good place when she got pregnant. She was with a good boy though, but… yeah. So it was Sean all along.”

“He always sends gifts for the girl in Christmas and her birthday.” Patty commented. “We thought it was just some kind of courtesy, they had been friends since forver… But I guess it makes sense.”

“I’m sorry.”

It was clear Steven wasn’t truly sure why he was saying sorry, but it made her smile.

After that, the women had left the room so they could do a call themselves and he had stayed with Harley who had been sleeping the whole time. After a two or three minutes, she woke up and the last time Jackie saw him, he had been babysitting Harley while her aunts tried to talk some sense to her stupid father.

The hospital was cold, all white and almost empty. Sound seemed muted like a TV, far away at times, like a radio transmition, and she wondered if it was that early in the morning, since some kind of small light went around every corner. Maybe it was just the tears in her eyes and the silene of her room.

Later she found Donna asleep on Morgan’s shoulder, Eric with his head on her lap and the most uncomfortable position ever with his legs flexed in the middle. The adults were all talking and she couldn’t help but caress Mrs. Forman hand while walking away from the hallaway and her room.

Why not dance in the edge of despair? It seemed crazy, how her days had been reduced to this, to wander on a hospital on bare feet that felt nothing. Jackie kept walking.

Nora passed her aside humming a happy song, and she saw Bruce and Milo walking to the terrace, but she went down the stairs, to see what else her eyes could check.

The door of her room opened, but no steps followed and no voice was heard. She kept walking, the door was closed again, and she was cold, everything was too white and too bright and her heart seemed to stop just for a second, just like she stopped in front of the hospital’s gate.

“This is it, then.”

Because a redhead was standing outside, giving her her back, waiting for someone. The door was wide open, people kept going out, which meant it was late and she was tired too. The woman outside didn’t move, she was patiently waiting, just like the person inside her room was taking its sweet time on doing or saying anything. Maybe no one had entered at the end.

Hands covered hers, it was warm but she finally walked outside, ready to face the person in front of her. Her hand trembled as the person in her room moved, lips touched her skin and it made her look back at the hospital.

Water, something had left her hand a little humid, and there was no sound, just lips on her hand again and more water, and a kiss, water, another kiss, water—

“Baby…” she breath out, her heart had started to drum crazy inside her again, she could actually feel it, truly feel it, and hear it.

She heard a soft moan from the person that couldn’t stop kissing her hand, and her shoulders tensed.

Someone was crying in her room.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: That night none of them will ever forget keeps going like a loop as the person crying in Jackie’s room asks her for something. Jackie meets Izzy in the past, and hears something important in the present.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	18. If I Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night none of them will ever forget keeps going like a loop as the person crying in Jackie’s room asks her for something. Jackie meets Izzy in the past, and hears something important in the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week’s chapter is especial to me and I hope you all like it. Please let me know what you think, PLEASE. I really miss hearig from you, people! And like before, thank you to those who left a review last chapter, it’s really nice of you and I appreciate your kind words, always.
> 
> We have started the last arc of the story, so… Thank you all for coming along with me in this crazy trip. This week I will be publishing a playlist inspired by this fanfic, it includes some of the songs I listened the must during the writing of this story. You can see it at my tumblr blog, link is on my profile! 
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/157694871730/heart-like-yours-chapter-xviii-if-i-stay) to support me! Thank you!
> 
> Now, enjoy the chapter!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XVIII –  If I Stay**

_November 15, 1982. Central Park, New York City. 2:43 am._

His hotel was just in front, Hyde had signaled it when the cab drop them in Central Park and Jackie had laughed at the number of windows it had. It was ridiculous. But Angie had arranged everything for this trip; if it had been in his hands, he would had asked Izzy if he could crash at her home, but his sister wanted him to bring a date, so the privacy of a room would do.

At the end, he had travelled alone and Angie had made him wear the fanciest suit ever and he had found Jackie in the middle of the most crowded room he had ever been in. Life still amazed him sometimes.

“So, why do you want me to go to your room?” she asked as they walked towards the hotel, and then talked before he could ever open his mouth, “I know you don’t smoke anymore. So you better have a good excuse, so I can give myself one.”

Not wanting to think much about what that could mean, he only nodded. “I—I actually do smoke.”

“Oh, I know you smoke cigarrettes.” she added. “But you don’t get high, that’s what I mean.”

“What?” Hyde started to check back his last conversations with her, he didn’t remember telling her that detail. One of their friends told her something? But he hadn’t told anyone, maybe somoene picked on that, noticed he didn’t participate as much on the circle back home or…?

“You don’t smell like that anymore.” she explained. Jackie turned to look at the few people still wandering Central Park. “I mean, I think it was part of your clothes. It was gone from your body when yout took a shower and— other _things_.”

She meant sex. He smiled, walking towards her. Her hair was shorter than he remember ever seeing it and the black dress she was wearing embraced every detail of her body he used to love.

It was cold, too. She had talked about how the boots she was wearing had been the first thing she bought by herself with the payment from her lastest job as asistent for the designer Morgan worked with. That she was proud of it, that much he got; it made him smile, to see her so happy about having a job and money to buy her beloved too expensive shoes and bags, and all that crap.

“But your clothes…” she kept talking, “it always smelled a little like that. So, thank god you don’t anymore.”

“Wait,” he frowned, not liking where this was going, “you didn’t like it?”

Jackie stood silent, her shoulders started to get tense and high with his stare. By the time his eyes were wide opened, her face was red and she was nervously laughing as the cabs keep passing in front.

“You didn’t like it!”

“No?” she murmured, her hands were now touching his face. Her fingers were a little cold and it made him close his eyes for a few seconds before looking at her again. “It was fun the first times and with our friends. But… you smoked _a lot_. All the time, for everything. In happiness, sadness, laziness, everything…” she sighed. “You smoked after making love… and don’t get me wrong,” her hands moved to his chest and he swallowed again, “you are a sexy smoker. It’s just… it was too much. I didn’t like that you smoked _that_ much.”

The silence didn’t help her, he was feeling really uncomfortable and her hands left his body almost immediately when she realized he wasn’t answering any time soon. Hyde didn’t have words for any of this. He always thought she had liked pot, and his mind soon remembered she always participated in the circle as long as there were more than two people. And when she smoked with him, he always took more of it than her.

She never kissed him while high.

“I’m sorry.” he said suddenly, not sure of why. Jackie moved her head to one side with a smile. “You should had told me…”

“Would you have listened? No, look—it doesn’t matter.” she sighed, walking to the street. “It cost me to be part of that, I couldn’t just risk losing it. You were my friends,” she looked at him, her back against the street once more, “and Michael’s friends. You all already hated me, I couldn’t risk it.”

“Jackie, that’s bullshit—“

“Is it?” He didn’t respond, only looked elsewhere. “You are the guys that made a big deal when he thought I was “ready” to smoke with you.” She looked at him and he shook his head, just a little embarrassed at how pretentious it actually sounded. “I thought so.” Jackie smiled. “It doesn’t matter, Hyde. It’s been years since that, and we are all fine. So, no problem.” he nodded and she sighed next, his eyes were glued to the ground now. “What are we doing here?”

After a brief pause, he finally sighed. “I do smoke. Once in a while.” she nodded slowly and looked back at the park. “I guess you don’t feel like smoking?”

“You want something to eat?”

He looked at her face, but her eyes were more interested in the movements of the park. When she reached for him, Jackie took him by the wrist and guided him to cross the street and into Central Park in the damn edge of the morning. This whole night was insane, walking at this hour in New York was probably a suicide, but she wanted a damn hotdog from Central Park and he walked at her side like moving on tin air.

“Hotdogs. I can’t remember the last time I saw you eat something from the street…”

She didn’t answer, just kept staring at the man preparing their food. Seeing her eat had been a relief when they first got together, what with Pam leaving her and she being broke. He worried all the time for how tiny she was, how bony she got when that happened; and she always eat like a starved woman when nervous, just like she was doing right now.

The idea of Jackie being nervous in his presence wasn’t good as he thought it could be. If so, he wanted her to feel and be safe at his side. They could be friends, he wanted it, and she needed to trust walking at his side. Would she ever, after all they been through, all he has done? Maybe not. Maybe he should stop hoping for that, mayb—

“You are thinking too loud.” Jackie said, sitting at his side on a park’s bench.

Years ago, he had said the same on her stupidily pink room back at her house in Point Place.

They had sex for the first time that night; like for real sex. And he had discovered why people called it ‘love making’. Of course, he never mentioned that, and he will never do it.

But right now, Hyde looked at Jackie and tried to bite his hotdog, but his hands and apetite failed him at the end. Leaving the food between them on the bench, he cleared his throat.

“I’m fine.” He answered. “Are you okay?”

Again, she didn’t answer. Instead, she filled her mouth with her hotdog and he waited for her to finish so they could keep talking. When she swallowed, her mouth was once again busy, this time with her pop. He sighed and she looked at him, nodding.

“You are eating too much.”

“Oh, shut up!” Jackie said, a frown forming in a gracious way. “You saw what I got at the restaurant? It was a tiny salad! Let me eat in peace!”

He had to laugh at that and she threw a small portion of bread to his face. Finally, he got a bite of his food and waited for her to talk again, after a few minutes eating in silence, she was done and he had half his hotdog eaten.

“I’m sorry I’m acting like this, I’m just—a little nervous.” She confessed without looking at his face, she had her eyes lost in some random spot in front of her. “I never thought I would tell you that, about the pot.”

“I wish you had told me before…”

“I know.” She answered. “But I was—so scared back then. I always thoguht I needed to be liked, and I wanted you to like me the most.”

It didn’t feel good to hear all this, but in a way Hyde was also glad she felt comfortable enough to share it now. But then, suddenly, a realization came to him: she could do it easily now because it was in the past. Slowly, he left the food again at his side, and waited for her to say something else.

“I don’t mind if you don’t understand, but I just—I thought I needed that.” She sighed. “I had this crazy idea that one day you would wake up and go, _I can’t keep lowering my standards for this girl_ , and that was going to be it. That’s why I went crazy with the comintment disaster and—“ she sighed again, shaking her head no and then laughed. “I’m very sorry about that.”

Jackie was looking at him now and his chest felt empty, his stomach ached and he wanted to asure her there was nothing to be sorry for. So he smiled and nodded.

“It’s fine.” He said. “I wouldn’t—I should had never make you feel like that, I’m the one who is sorry.”

“Why?” She sounded genuanely confused.

“You said… that you thought I would leave you one day.” He looked away, the intencity of her eyes was too much. “And I should have never made you believe that was posible. I was wrong by keeping you away from the truth.”

She moved her head to one side, but her eyes weren’t big and puppy-like. She was concerned, curious, but sad. “What truth?”

“I loved you.” He looked at her, It came out quickly. Natural. Why he never did it like this before? “Very much. And I failed in making you know that.”

But she shook her head again. “I knew.” She said. “I had no excuse, I was just… so stupid.”

“No—“

“Hyde, let me apologize?” she said, and he hated that she was calling him that. “I know I was wrong, I pressured you and overwhelmed you in a bad way. I said horrible things, too…” she lowered her eyes, ashamed of the memories in her head. “I loved you, too. Like, for real love. No that stupidity I used to call what I felt and had with Michael.” She looked up, her face looked more relieved. “I never lowered any stadards.”

He nodded. “Me neither. In fact, you… you were kind of out of my leage.” He laughed and she smiled back.

“No, you I wasn’t.” She smiled, bright and tender.

It fucking hurt.

******

_December 5, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s room. 12:18 am._

When he saw Jackie on her bed again, Hyde felt like if all the life in his body had left him right as he entered the room trying to not make a sound.

Outside, most people were sleeping. Vic, Rolo, Santoro and Harrington had left to the terrace, while Noah and Morgan slept with Donna and Forman, Fez and Kelso. Red had smiled at him while he entered the room, Mrs. Forman was very active and was talking with Bob without showing a single sign of being tired. Her nights as a nurse in this same hospital had trained her well.

But he, he was so fucking tired. All the damn day he had felt this way. Too many shit had gone down and up in questions of hours, from Betsy dreaming of ghosts to Jackie not showing signs of waking up. Was what Kat had told Betsy truly what he thought since the beginning? That Jackie had stuff to work out so she can rest in peace? He shook his head, he couldn’t think of that now.

Walking to her bed, he took the grasshopper from the blue couch and put it back to her side. Hyde even moved her arm, making her hug it because she loved stuffed animals and she used to think of them as her company in that big, lonely house she grow up in.

Today, she wasn’t alone at all. But he wanted her to have something from him, and she was his small grasshopper, full of life jumping to the sun, always loud and between flowers, all warm and green, everything that grows and lives.

He sat down at her side, looking at her face.

Many words tickled on his tongue, but none came out. A ball of fire was getting bigger in his stomach, and it went up, up, up, so he took her hand. It won’t go anywhere if he could just… take her hand and kiss it, softly and sweet, kiss it again and let it—let it.

His fingers felt numb while the familiar feeling of swallowing fire went trough every corner of him, eyes closed. His jaw ached, but that didn’t stop him from kissing Jackie’s hand again, this time staying with his lips joined on her skin for what felt like forever, until something moisted his lips.

It tasted salty and took his breathe away. He kissed again, ignoring the way the small drops of water had started to roll on Jackie’s hand and down his face. He did it once more, and this time Hyde stopped ignoring the fact that he was crying on Jackie’s hand and there was nothing he could do about it but let it go.

A small moan escaped his body when he tried to shut it down again. Opening his eyes, he let the tears roll freely down his cheeks. He usually didn’t cry and when it happened, he was mostly silent because it had bothered the hell out of his parents when he was a kid and soon it became a sign of weakness.

Later, he had learned better. He knew now it didn’t matter, that crying was even healthy and good for his eyes and his soul. But it didn’t stop feeling like something odd and far away from him.

But he knew, too, —Hyde swallowed and let his fingers interlace with Jackie’s, nose feeling hot—he knew that he had been trying to swallow how he was truly feeling about Jackie’s situation and everything happening around him.

He damn loved this woman and she was—probably not waking up soon. She could die. He could lose Jackie forever in the blink of his eyes. Just like that, it would—

“Fuck this…” he moved to the front again, taking Jackie’s hand with both of his. Looking at her face, he remembered Kat had told his goddaughter that Jackie was here. Swallowing, he finally decided to give in, “Jackie, if you are here and I’m not—making an idiot of myself…” he shook his head, for this he needed to stop thinking like that. Let go of some of his beliefs.

This was happening after all. He had found that ring in the exact place his goddaughter had heard in a dream, Harley had woke up and was in need of help like the ghost had also said. So yes. Jackie may be here, for real.

Hyde licked his lip before trying again, he was still crying and he knew the second he let the words out, they will come like a river, one after the other, flowing.

“I love you.”

******

_November 15, 1982. Palaxo Club, New York City. 1:22 am._

Jackie blinked a couple of times, the light and the big letters of Palaxo’s sign was almost blinding her, but the emotion of being here with Hyde mantained her with her feet in the ground and her head high, chin up, smile almost hurting her features with its force.

This night was all insane, out of nowhere, of some dream she had two years ago. She would have killed for a night like this before, she would have given her life in order to have just half an hour of this Hyde that while ago.

Now, even feeling like if she could never let him go, Jackie was sure they could be friends in spite of what he had told her on the phone months ago. After all, she knew she would never stop loving him, so better start normalizing his existence to her heart again, this time as her friend.

“Listen…” Hyde called her attention, she looked up and blinked again. “We ain’t passing here, so come on!” he had to shout, there was a lot of people outside smoking and talking loud.

The sound was lost with the music coming from inside and she followed him behind the Club. Jackie didn’t understand why he had taken her here, it was a jazz club and he hated dancing. Maybe the bar was good? But he didn’t drink anymore—the mystery made her smile and take his hand for better guiadance, he didn’t look over and she took it as a good sign.

Soon they stopped at a back entrance, an afro-american man dressed in a dark shade of red looked at him and Hyde nodded. The man smiled, took out his hand to shake Hyde’s and whished him a good night. He smiled at her too, and she smiled back, nodding their way inside and her heart started to beat strong and fast.

Did Hyde knew the people who run this club? They walked together a long hallaway that took them to some offices, and he opened the door in front of them, letting them into the atmosphere of the club and her eyes opened wide.

“Where…?”

“Come on, V.I.P. is this way.”

“What?”

When would Steven Hyde take her to V.I.P. sections for damn free? Jackie blinked a couple of times as they ran up the stairs together until he faced another man dressed in dark red. She observed the small group of people inside while Hyde happily shook hands with the man at the entrance.

Angie, W.B. and an old couple were cheerfully talking and drinking inside and Jackie’s eyes went wide. Hyde’s grandmother’s club. This was the Barnetts’ jazz club Victoria had talked about!

“Let’s go, Jackie.”

Every set of eyes were on her and Steven when they walked into the family, happily enjoying the night in a great place she couldn’t believe existed in this time and this city. But New York was always full of surprises and she felt, more than ever, like if she was never going to end knowing this city.

“Jackie!” Angie stood, quickly grabbing her hands when Jackie tried to hug her. Instead the girl kissed her cheek and Jackie did the same, finally huging her after. “It’s been so long! What are you doing here?”

“Not much, just following your brother around.” She answered, holding hands with her for a while.

She was still tall and still had the most amazing skin ever, and Jackie reminded herself to finally ask her if she used some magic cream that may help her too. New York’s cold sometimes did horrible things to her and her face, so it could be helpful.

Angie guided her to the center of their small circle of lounch forniture and elegant people. W.B. greeted her next, he asked about Milo and her job, and school, and she answered the best she could without losing sight of Hyde, who was moving to kiss the older woman’s cheek and then shake hands with the man at her side.

Before he could move, the woman make him stop behind her with a hand pulling at his tie, and he went down for her to talk on his ear. Jackie looked at them completely and blinked a couple of times, following W.B. who was now going to introduce her to the couple.

When Hyde looked up, he smiled at her and his father squeezed his shoulder.

“You disappeared…” he murmured, and Hyde shrugged. “Anyway, Jackie—“ she looked up at W.B. and then at the woman in front of her when he moved his hand to her, “My mother, Isabella Barnett.”

“Hi…” she murmured, not sure of why she felt so shy in a heartbeat.

The woman smiled, took her hand and shook it firmly. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Jackie. You have no idea how much I have hear about you.”

“Izzy—“

“Not talking to you, kid.” She said to Steven and he rolled his eyes. If she did that to her grandmother, Beulah Burkhart would had slapped her already. But this woman, instead, smiled at him and pinched his cheek like a child, he closed his eyes and shook his head, leading the man at their said to Jackie. “This is my husband, Nethan.”

“How you doing, sweetheart?” he said to her, taking her hand and shaking it kind. “Glad to finally meet you, too.”

“It’s a pleasure.” She answered, big smile hurting her cheeks.

This was Steven’s family, and he—he looked like in the right place. They just needed the Formans there and his entire family would do a great portrait for his office and there, it hit her. Steven, in spite his teenager self, was the co-owner of a chain of music stores and had an office of his own, an apartment in Kenosha, a whole entire life outside the basement and Point Place.

“Sit down, now. I’m tired of Eric’s stories about our Stevie, I want to hear more embarrassing things.” Mrs. Barnett said and she smiled bright, looking up at Steven who seemed more embarrassed than she had ever seen him.

“Izzy! No!” he said in a warning tone.

“Ooh, tell Izzy about when he shaved for you!” Angie put her hands on her lap and Jackie smiled at Mrs. Barnett.

“That was really sweet!” Jackie started, “Well, it was because—“

“Jackie, no.” Steven said, there was some kind of plea in there and it made her laugh. “You have no idea, these women use every bit of information to tear a man apart.”

She moved her head to one side, thinking about it. “You know what, Mrs. Barnett? You need to know more about that time we went to Funland and he spend half an hour trying to win an unicorn plushie I wanted.” Jackie suggested and they laughed, even W.B. did as Steven put both hands on his face.

“I need to know that.” Mrs. Barnett answered. “But you know, you are not calling me Mrs. Barnett. Ah-ah, not at all.”

“Oh?” she smiled. “How should I call you then?”

“Izzy. I’m grandma Izzy, nothing else.”

Izzy. Jackie nodded, getting closer to the women so they could hear her story better. The area they were at was big and private, but it was open to hear the music and see the dance floor. Hyde kept hiding his face from everyone with every word she said about that day. It had been her birthday, and she had won the damn thing herself at the end.

Regardless, she remembered with more fondess the nine smaller prizes he won for her. She still had all of them, and the memory of spending a great day at the park. They had eaten, rode every game, done whatever she wanted, including taking pictures she hoped he still had.

“You do?” Izzy asked him about the polaroids, he looked at her and Jackie smiled back at him, hoping.

“Yeah.”

Jackie’s heart jumped inside her and Hyde smiled back at her, then looked at his grandmother who had clapped. “I want to see those!”

“In your dreams, woman. I’ll die before you have more material for those scrapbooks you do.”

“You do scrapbooks?” Jackie asked excitely. “I have one of when I was with him!”

“Oh, no…” he murmured, Nethan clapped his shoulder and he hide his face on his hands again.

“You have to show me that!”

“Yeah!” and then, she remembered. “Uh—it’s at Point Place. My friend Donna has it.”

“Eric’s bride.” She murmured. “Smart girl, very pretty too.”

“Way out of Eric’s leage.” She suggested and Izzy nodded with a smile. “Hyde! Your grandmother is amazing!”

“I knew you would like her, you two are the same kind of evil.” Izzy nodded, flipping her hair the same way Jackie did when it was longer. Her chest filled with some kind of excitement, Hyde’s grandma was a successful woman who owed this club and had this family. She wanted that. “God, you even do that.”

Jackie laughed with Angie and W.B., Hyde shooks his head and called the waiter. “You want something?” he asked her, she nodded and before she could answer, he said exactly what she was thinking. “Diet coke, and a cherry soda for me.” She smiled, and he looked at Izzy. “Iz?” She nodded, “Vodka tonic, on the rocks. Ange?” She showed him her empty glass and then, he went to Nethan who nodded and finally WB, who showed him his half empty glass. “Alright, that would be cosmo for the lady. Vampire for grandpa, and you know which whiskey for Mr. Barnett.”

“You should get one, too.” Izzy suggested, Jackie looked at her, blinking. “We are going to make a toss, get one.”

“Nope.” He answered, “I have a wedding in December, remember?”

“Come on, we have to make a toss. You are not doing it with a fucking cherry soda.” W.B. said and it made her crack a smile. “Jackie, help us here.”

“But—“

“He hasn’t touch a single drop of alcohol in almost two years.” Angie said. “So…”

“Well, I guess…” she smoothed the skirt of her dress, then smiled. “Alright, I want a cosmo too.”

Hyde rolled his eyes, and shook his head to his father. W.B. sighed, and said again. “Just for the toss, I drink the rest. Being sober is about controling your drinks, not becoming a nun.”

“He is right, son.” Nethan said. “You have your medal, right? If you get anxious, you have it. And we are here,” he said and Jackie looked at Hyde. Did he…? “we are not letting you lose that.”

After a few seconds, he sighed. “Alright, just one.”

Everyone else cheered at that, and the waiter left to get their drinks. She wanted to ask. Because if the medal was—well, the one she gave him. God. This was something.

“Hyde?” he looked at her. “Is the—the medal, is it…?”

“Oh.” He searched on a pocket inside his jacket, then showed it to her. “Yeah. I mean, it’s for that. Right?”

“Uh?” Izzy looked at her.

Jackie smiled, taking the medal and looking at it. She hadn’t seen it in a year. “I gave it to him. As a birthay present last year… It was my grandfather’s.”

She knew the medal meant soberness and security, her grandfather had explained it to her when she was a kid and saw it for the first time. He had it with him all the time, inside his pocket, and played with it when he was nervous or when he got a drink at gatherings.

Jackie never saw him drunk, but her father had told her enough. When he died, it was the only thing she had asked to have. At the end, she took more stuff from his personal items, but this was the one thing she had wanted. And he gave it to Hyde, thinking it may help.

“He carries it with him all the time.” Izzy said, her tone was motherly and it made her blush. She nodded and caressed the medal before passing it again to Hyde. “You really are something, uh?”

“Excuse me?” Jackie looked at her, she was feeling a little overwhelmed and her face was probably too red.

“A tiny sun.”

Whatever that meant, it made her smile.

******

_December 5, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Jackie’s Room. 12: 20 am._

“I love you.”

Jackie blinked a couple of times.

Like that first time, she had simply returned to the room against her will and her mouth fall open. Not cartoon like, not—in a stupid way. She just let it open, no words coming out because—this was happening. In the verge of the tragedy, it was happening.

Steven always had a weird timing to say his feelings.

“I fucking do.” He said, and her steps froze. She was looking at his back and he was taking her hand. But—“I’ve been loving you for so long, I don’t know why it took me so much to say it.” He cleaned his face, and her heart felt heavy.

It was still beating fast, but heavy, like if someone had put a rock over her chest. Finally, Jackie walked to see his face. She was in front of him, at her body’s side, near the monitors that kept them calm about her vitals. Not even the sound of it distracted her from the fact that Steven was crying, for God’s sake, he was _crying_.

“Betsy said that you are here,” he sighed, “so if you truly are… I’m sorry. I don’t want you to go. Stay. Doesn’t matter what you feel or not feel for me, just—don’t go.” The grip he had on her hand was strong. It didn’t hurt, or she didn’t feel it as she was going through so much just to listening to him.

Jackie moved her hands, she reached for his while sitting at her body’s side and caressed over it. Steven passed his free hand through his hair and closed his eyes, supporting his forehead with said hand.

“I swear I don’t care if you never want to be with me again, just live. I’ll be happy just to see you again, healthy and as annoying as ever.” He tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a plea since the crying hadn’t stopped. She had only see him cry two times. One the night after he met W.B. and she had stayed with him. And when she gave him the medal, and she explained what it meant. “I have lost you too many times, I can do it once more if I don’t lose you this way.”

“Steven…”

“A world where you aren’t real is my personal hell, and this—this.” He looked around the room, and her other hand went directly to his. “This is like a purgatory.”

He stopped to breathe deep a couple of times and Jackie stood, ready to walk to him and hug him, but Steven looked at her face again and kissed the palm of her hand once more.

“Jackie, I love you.”

The first time he said it came to her, she sitting at Donna’s room, he stading in front, his face, the way he was almost crying. She once said to Donna she wanted him to cry for her when that woman came claming to be Steven’s wife and her friend had asked if she would ever forgive him for that. He was crying now, three years after that.

“I love you, too, Steven…”

Another memory popped, the crash hit her like a thunder again and the screams of the passangers made her shiver. Then, Steven’s old room and her fingers caressing his beard as he slept after a heated up making out session.

She breathed hard, and closed her eyes while all these simple and small memories invided her at once. The feeling of his fingers interlassed with hers the first time they made love, Donna’s laugh while skinny dipping at the Reservoir, her phone call with Eric while he was in Africa and told her how he was going to propose again, Fez telling her he loved Caroline.

“Steven?”

Her head hurt, she couldn’t feel Steven’s had holding her or open her eyes. It only went to Michael’s vows to Brooke and their friends kissing at their wedding, Brooke holding Jess with her forehead glued to his the night he was born, Caroline’s crying face when Fez took her to the Empire State Building like she always wanted since she was a kid.

Steven’s blue eyes, looking at her that night in november while dancing in the park, Mrs. Forman calpping when she showed her her engagement ring, Angie greeting her at her grandmother’s house, Mr. Forman hugging her the first time she went back home after moving to New York, W.B.’s toss for his son’s success, her friends laughing in New York.

And—Kat. Sitting at her place in the bus, no Harley at her side but an empty seat. Jackie blinked a couple of times, looking at her with a knott on her throat.

“Jackie?” she murmured.

In her head, she saw Noah spinning Morgan in Central Park when he surprised her after ditching his lastest mission to spend San Valentine’s with her. Victoria showing her the wedding dress she had designed for Jackie, June drunk dancing at his and Vic’s apartment, Bruce throwing her a snowball last december.

Milo’s proporsal at the Formans’ house on her birthday.

“What are you doing here?” Kat said, a frown had formed on her young face. She looked— _amazing_. “You shouldn’t be here!”

“Kat, I—“

She moved her hand, and pushed Jackie away from her, touching her shoulder. “Wake up.”

Finally, she blinked a couple of times. And, the first time she saw Steven when they were so young, she didn’t even knew his name but the way he talked to Rachel Bennett who had cut her hair while she slept at Cheerleading Camp, it all came to mind. And she blinked again.

“Wake up!”

******

_12:32 am._

The chair fell with his movement, he had stood too fast, his heart felt right on his throat.

Hyde was still holding Jackie’s hand as he looked at her face, some small movement on her fingers almost distracted him from the principal show. He swallowed.

“Jackie…?” he murmured.

She blinked a couple of times before looking up at his face with wide open eyes.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	19. Go Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a new day for Point Place, and some people may still getting used to being awake. With this in mind, Milo and Jackie have a conversation than then give Hyde and Milo a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. I'm very sorry for the late update, but you know, life hasn't been going ok. If you are aware of The Thing that happened with DM, then I will have to ask you all to PLEASE don't talk to me about it. Fanfiction is fanfiction, and celeb stuff goes somewhere else. Thank you! I hope you all enjoy the chapter.
> 
> Now, someone left me a review last chapter saying that Milo is liar. Your review broke my heart, it really did. And I want you to please signal me where do you got this idea, becaue I don't remember doing such thing in my story. So, please, I need to know. Thank you. Also, this chapter's first flashback is for you.
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/158009543500/heart-like-yours-chapter-xix-go-now-jackie) to support me! Thank you!
> 
> Now, enjoy the chapter!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XIV – Go Now.**

_December 5, 1982. Point Place's General Hospital – Jackie's room. 1:19 am._

"Do you know who you are, young lady?" the man she asumed was a doctor asked her, Jackie sighed before nodding for the fith time. She was starting to feel tired. "What's your name?"

"Jackie Burkhart."

"Complete, please."

She would had rolled her eyes if her head didn't feel like exploxing. Swallowing, she nodded and tried again. "Jacqueline Beulah Burkhart."

The man did some writing and kept with the same questions the nurse had already done. Her birth date, her parents, where did she live, what did she do for a living, all that jazz. It didn't explain what she was doing with a cast on her leg, pain at her side and greasy hair. It didn't explain anything that was happening but she couldn't find her voice to demand answers until the man was done.

"Who are you?" she asked, slowly, sounding almost dumb.

"Oh, Christ. I'm so sorry, Miss. Burkhart" He answered. "I'm Doctor Beck. I've been taking care of your case for a few days. Do you… do you remember why are you here?"

Jackie looked around. Yeah, it was obviously a hospital, but what hospital? Where was she? Why was she here? Frowning, she tried to move her legs but realized she was too tired to actually want to walk. Instead, she looked at the doctor and answered with a firm tone.

"No."

**~0~**

_October 1, 1982. New York City – Jackie and Milo's apartment. 7:28 pm._

Her fingers had started to look old, all wrinckle and pale. But the warm of Milo's chest on her back had her too happy and too comfy to move. He took her hands in his, bigger and stronger than hers, and clapped hers together.

Jackie laughed at the movement as he continued talking about his last editorial. It wasn't the conversation what had them interested but the actions, the moment. They took a bath together every time in a way just to do this, to sit down, her body against his, and _talk_.

"In other words," his breathe on her neck gave goosebumps to her entire body and Jackie smiled again, their hands still tangled, just like their legs, "It's going to be a fine number. Maybe you may even like it."

"Oh, that's for sure!"

He laughed, the movement made his chest vibrate on her back and her body reacted again. Goosebumps and erected nipples were the last of her problems, she was feeling all kinds of wanting for him now.

"How was your lunch with Victoria?"

And that was why she wanted him so bad now. She giggled, her fingers took his and made them fight in front of her face. "It was great! We did something interesting after."

"Yeah? What was it?"

"We went to your mother's workshop."

"Oh." There was curiosity on his voice, Jackie pushed back and touched between his legs with her butt. Milo moved with a soft moan, "Heeeey…"

"Vic showed me an interesting desing she did for me."

"Ye-yeah?" He stopped moving, she had started to push back and forward, knowing well what was she doing. "What… what was it, babe?"

"A wedding dress."

She looked back at his flushed face. Milo was looking at her with wide open eyes, darkened by lust and filled with loving desire. He smilled, big and warm then. His hands moved first and he took her face softly, kissing her deep before it became a mess of passion and want.

"Have you found your wedding dress?"

"You are gonna love it."

He better.

When she was younger, she dreamed of the perfect wedding dress. She used to go to the mall and visit all the wedding stores, looking at dresses and magazines, talking to designers like if she was engaged, even when she was only thirteen. Most people smiled her way and nodded to make her happy, the less tried to convince her there was much more than getting married.

Jackie knew that already, it didn't mean she didn't want a perfect wedding with the perfect dress. White and thigh on the right places, with a long veil full of pearls that made her shine like the star she was, long like a princess' wish. And now, Victoria had fullfilled that dream with just the touch of her hand.

"It's a wonderful dress, and it will be easy to take off." She suggested as Milo kissed her neck, laughing against her skin after.

"You put it on already?"

"Yes!" she shouted for both, his hands and the question. "You should have seen me! I look better than I dreamed I would."

"Impossible." He said, looking at her now. "You are beautiful."

She jerked away, sightly distracted by his words and someone's else voice saying the same at her dressed in a wedding dress inside her mind. Looking away, Jackie could hear Milo asking if everything was okay, but she closed her eyes, trying to forget.

This, this was one of those things she hated the most.

Why did she started to call _him_ again? What was she thinking? Swallowing the memory, Jackie looked up at Milo and smiled, trying to hide her concern and the cloud of preocupations that had been following her for a while by now.

"I'm fine—"

"Jacque…"

"I mean it." She smiled, rounding his neck with her arms. "So, where were we?"

**~0~**

_December 5, 1982. Point Place's General Hospital – Waiting Area. 9:03 am._

Milo nodded at the doctor as he explained to all of them about Jackie's amnesia.

It wasn't something too bad, she only didn't remember she had been in an accident and a few weeks before it. She knew who she was and who were all of them, so nothing to worry about. Eventually, the man had told them, all will come back to her and the shock may be a small problem.

Anxiety attacks for the flashbacks to what happened could be a thing for her if something triggered it.

For her sake, he recommended them not to mention any of it unless she wanted to know or talk about it. After he finished his explanations, the health care started and he saw how everyone around him fell from the tense cloud they all were at since she woke up, plenty of hours ago at the edge of the morning.

"She's very drugged." The man admited with a small smile. "The pain on her ribs will kill her if we didn't, so just for a while. After tomorrow, she will get smaller dose. Other than that, she's recovering pretty well. Seems like sleeping was actually a good thing for her."

Milo sighed and nodded to the man, offering his hand for him to shake. The doctor shook it and then moved to talk to Kitty and Red. He looked at Donna and Vic, both redheads looked desperate to enter that room and see their friend.

"So we can go in there now, right?" Vic said, he shook his head. She frowned. "Why the hell not?"

"We can overwhelm her, okay? Look at this place!" He signaled around them, everyone was filling almost the entire waiting area and Brooke laughed in Michael's shoulder. "We can't—"

"You can go in there, if you want." Nurse Nora smiled, hand on his shoulder. "But like—in pairs, or per family. Not all of you together again, I have covered you long enough."

"Sorry about that…" Milo murmured to her, she shook her head. "So… we can see her now? For real?"

"Hey!" she put a finger out, and the all stopped their movements. "In order! I don't want everyone in there. Three at much! Understood?"

"Yes, nurse Nora…" answered Donna and Victoria at the same time like called out children.

Milo smiled, and let Brooke and Michael go first with their kids. Tomorrow was Jess' birthday and they had to go to Michael's parents' to prepare his small party. They will all be going , as they had been invited. But first, he wanted to see Jackie, make sure by his own she was okay. All kind of conversation about them could be done later.

Now, it was going to be fine.

**~0~**

_Point Place's General Hospital – Jackie's room. 9:08 am._

When Michael, Brooke and the kids entered her room, Jackie's chest felt heavy and then, warm and tin, like if something bad had left her body at the sight of a very happy Betsy jumping near her bed, saying she has been waiting for her to wake up.

The family didn't stay for too long, since they had a party to plan and everyone else was waiting for their turn to enter and see her.

After hearing that, Jackie imagined who could they been talking about. Who had came all their way just to see her and make sure she was fine? In her mind, she started to list these people as Betsy presented her drawings happily with Michael's asistance.

Milo. Donna (and Eric). Fez and Caroline. Victoria. June. Alice. Morgan and Noah. Mrs. and Mr. Forman, of course.

She smiled at her little goddaughter, not really listening to all her explanation since her head had started to ache a little and she was still seeing small sparks around. Doctor Beck had told her she was going to be drugged for the day, since he didn't want her suffering from too much pain due to her stupid ribs.

Maybe her mother had come? She should have been the first one to come in, so no. Pam Burkhart was not here. She had confirmation after Brooke looked at her with an apologetic smile. It was fine, she just asked, she just wanted to know.

And—and—

"My dad knows?" she murmured. Brooke nodded. "Really?"

"I took care of that." Michael said. He had been soothing her, hand on her back making circles and she was sitting to see Betsy's drawings. "He said he wanted to talk to Hyde if something came up, I bet Hyde will go see him soon. Don't worry."

And—Steven. _Hyde_.

Jackie looked at Michael. "Where's him?" _Hyde_. "Did… he come?"

"Yes!" Michael answered with a big smile. "You know, you woke up when he was here…"

"I did?" she frowned. "I... I don't remember."

"You don't remember when you were here, god-mommy?" Betsy asked, looking at her with such intensity, it almost made her lose her breathe. "Do you remember Harley?"

"Who?"

"Harley!" She shoved a drawing into her face and Jackie took it.

There were three women in there. A redhead (Donna?), a small blonde one and a brunette (her?). Was Harley some character Betsy had invented? She blinked and looked at the adults for answers.

"She's the daughter of someone who was with you in the accident—" Brooke started to explain, but Betsy—

"Kat is her mommy, she's in Heaven!" Betsy said, showing her another drawing of a redhead angel. "Remember? You needed the doors open, so me and god-daddy had them opened all the time."

"What…?"

"Betsy!" Michael said, Brooke had Jess in arms so it was his own to check on their daughter. "Stop—"

"You don't remember?" Betsy insisted, Jackie kept looking at the drawings, then at the small girl who had a desperate expression, but there was nothing in her mind. "We are supposed to help Harley, we promised Kat."

"Betsy, stop—"

"God-daddy lost the ring and he found it where Kat said! And we found her dad—" She frowned, her dad had finally took her in arms and was trying to calm her down. She looked angry. "But—"

"Betsy, enough." He said. The word echoed inside her mind for a while, another voice saying it.

As they left after apologizing, Jackie waved her hand at Betsy, who was still mad and had her head over her father's shoulder. Her honey eyes looked right into Jackie's and she lifted her head again, Jackie blinked a couple of times.

"God-daddy loves you!" She said. "Kat told me and Harley!"

"Bets!" Hyde's voice sounded outside and Jackie's eyes went big, her body slowly moving into that direction.

But the door was closed next, and it didn't open until an entire minute had gone by, this time letting Mrs and Mr Forman in with Bob Pinciatti holding a wonderful bucket of white roses.

"Hey there, girl!" he said.

Jackie smiled a little, she was looking outisde the room as Mr. Forman closed the door. Hyde was standing with Betsy on his shoulders, talking to Milo and Bruce. The image of his surprised face in the middle of a dark room came to mind, and she looked up at Mrs. Forman as she asked how was she feeling.

"Weird…" she murmured and it was accurate, she didn't knew what was truly going on. "Mrs. Forman, I stink! My hair is greasy! My leg tickles! I don't want to be here!" she whined.

Mrs. Forman moved immediately to caress her hair while Bob laughed and Mr. Forman took a seat in front of her bed. "You poor thing, you are going to be just fine!"

She hoped she was right.

**~0~**

_10:39 am._

When he heard she had asked about her engagement ring and her fiancé, Milo stood at the end of the line to see Jackie. How was he supposed to explain to her this? That they weren't together anymore? It had been her decision, so whatever it was truly it what made her break the engament, she would probably understand it after hearing him.

Hyde had looked at him with something weird in his expression. But the man hadn't sleep a crap, the emotion of moving fast when Jackie woke up and answering the million dollar question, _How?_ , was still taking most his head. He could understand that.

Now, if he thouhgt him such a rat, that he would take adventage of Jackie's situation, well. He was wrong.

"Hey," he smiled at Jackie while entering the room, she looked tired but still smiled at him, "look at you, finally between us."

"Don't say that, it sounds like if I was dead or something."

"God, no."

He walked slowly towards her, sitting at her side and offering his hand to hers. Jackie took it and squeezed softly. It all felt so unreal. To be here with her, after thinking he almost lose her forever.

"You are sight for sore eyes, Jacque." He said, kissing the palm of her hand. She jerked it away, eyes wide open. "Jacque?"

"Uh—" she smiled, taking his hand again. "Deja-vú, I guess."

Insisting on that didn't appeal to him. Talking about them either, he only stood by her side with a soft smile and she moved on the bed, trying to get comfortable.

"Milo," she called after a while, "can I ask you something? It's very important."

"Anything."

"Are we still together?"

' _The memories will come at any given time, just be patient'_ , Beck had said. He smiled, sad and defeated. And shook his head, making her look at him while still on bed.

"No?"

"No…" he murmured. "I have your ring." With his free hand, he searched for it, passing it to her after. Jackie examinate it like if she thought it was false or something. "We…"

"This is not my ring." She suddenly said, Milo frowned. "My ring has a pink rock and twelve small white rocks…"

"What?"

She signaled the four rocks rounding the diamond, a conflicted expression on her face. "And it has four rocks like these at the sides…" Her expression changed a little, confussion still present as she lowered her hand until the ring was touching the bed sheets. "You weren't holding it…"

"What? Jacque? What are you talking about?" He tried smiling, he knew he needed to be patient right now. "It's the same ring, no one has changed it."

After a few seconds in silence, she looked at him and smiled somehow shy. "Yes… it's—this is my ring, the one you gave me. I'm sorry, I just think—I think I dremt about another ring."

He almost asked about it but realized it was going to be stupid to do so. Milo just smiled at her and answered her questions about their fight, she didn't seem off at his answers and after a while, she just let her back rest on the pillows, looking at some lost point in front of her.

"I'm sorry…" she murmured, Milo looked up at her and saw that the confussed expression han been replaced by a seriousness it wasn't ofted seen in her pretty face. "I lied to you."

"Uh?"

"I—" She sighed, like trying to calm her respiration before opening her eyes and looking right into his. "I saw Hyde before… before we broke up. I spend the night with him—but like, not in _that_ way. We went out almost all night, and i—"

Jackie had left the ring on her lap, her left hand was now covering her mouth and he tried to smooth her by caressing her right. She didn't remember having this conversation already, and she looked like if tears were about to run down her face.

"I know." He said, but she talked at the same time.

"I almost kissed him." She confessed and his movements on her hand stopped. She hadn't mentioned that before. "We—It didn't happen, but… I…" She looked down at his hand over hers, and then again at his face. "I wanted him to kiss me."

One thing had been knowing she still had feelings for Hyde, to suspect it. But another was hearing it from her, the confirmation he had feared all along. Yet he smiled, nodded and tried to calm her down as best as he could.

"I know."

"But—"

"It's okay."

What else could he do? They weren't together anymore and she had almost died. To ruin her chances now would be , and he ha stopped being a naïve and spoiled kid a long time ago. Instead, he tried his best to not cry in front of her and to not hate Hyde who wasn't even around.

"Milo?" She said, she was holding his hand now. "Why don't you hate me? I would hate you if you—"

"No, you wouldn't!" he laughed. How Jackie could think so low of herself in moments like this always amused him. Ever since he met her, she had always show herself as an apathetic and selfish person, but she was anything but that. "You wouldn't hate me. Maybe be mad at me. Hit me in the shins… but you wouldn't hate me." He sighed. "Jackie if I have learned anything about you it's that you are too full of love to hate anyone."

She frowned, but no words came out of her mouth. Sighing, Milo kissed her hand and smiled at her.

"What happened between us, I will always treasure it. And I do love you right now, and I know you love me too. But…"

"You don't have to do this." Jackie murmured. "I know."

He nodded. "Are you going to be alright? You are not going to be blaming you for things not working out and failed plans, like you always do, even when not everything has something to do with you?"

After a few seconds in which she looked like if she was thinking about her options, she nodded slowly and murmured, "Things are happening all the time, things that had nothing to do with us."

"Yes," he smiled, even when his nose felt sore and his eyes had started to feel watery again, "exactly."

She smiled again, her back against her pillows and the bruises on her face looking brown, rind replacing where red had been seen the first day he saw her laying here. Jackie moved her head, something sad expandind in her eyes.

"I'm going to miss you, Milo."

"Me, too." He answered, knowing he needed to leave this room just for a second or two. "I wish I could mean it when I said we could be friends, but right now—"

"Maybe later?" She smiled. "We—we have many friends in common! It will be difficult to avoid the other."

"Yeah…" he murmured. "New York can be small when you have friends."

"Yes!" She laguhed, listening to that was everything he wanted these past days. "You are…" she murmured, her voice cut and he knew she will be crying in less than two sec—there it goes. She was crying now, and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to not follow her lead. "An amzing part of me. I wish things would had been better."

Making a pause, he swallowed and saw the tears going down Jackie's face.

She used tears a lot to get by, convincing people of things, convincing him of a lot. But when she cried for real, it was a horrible thing to see. Her entire face looked beautiful still and the sight broke his heart like anything else has ever done before. He squeezed her hand, and she kept talking.

"Please, promise me maybe one day we could talk again. Be friends."

"Oh, I know it will happen." Milo assured her, because yes. Of course it will. "Just—not soon. Alright?"

"Of course." She nodded, cleaning her face with her free hand.

Their hands were sweating by now, but she didn't move hers and he didn't do it either. Milo wanted this to last as long as possible, but at the same time, he wanted to leave her alone for a few seconds and he wanted to—he needed to get out. Breathe a little.

"Milo?" She called again, he looked up and waited. "What if I'm wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just—" she looked in front, at the door, then at him. "What if I'm making a mistake right now? Or if I made one in november?"

"Jacque…" He smiled and squeezed her hand again. "Go on, Jacque. Be wrong." He said and then smiled as bright as he could. "Because tomorrow you'll be right. It's never one thing all the time. It changes. We learn. We fall and we stand up. Always."

"But—"

"You'll never going to know if you don't try." She nodded after a few seconds. "You'll never know if you don't go now."

Here they were, a final chance to close a door of something he enjoyed the best he could, something he could look back and say, _'I was there, I loved her as much as she let me to'_. Even if a star was lost after this, the new life from its explosion will make a whole new galaxy and it will go on.

"It's going to be fine, Jacque."

Chasing a dream in the dark, that's what she was going to do now. And he whished her all the luck she could take, and finally be happy.

"Thank you, Milo."

**~0~**

_September 20, 1980. University of Madison. 11:16 am._

As they left the director's office, Jackie felt like if something had changed.

It wasn't the weather or the way she looked at the girls without make up at campus, but the way she saw it all. There was some kind of new light that belonged to her in it all, and she wanted it, she craved it with a big smile.

Donna smiled back at her and offerend her hand for her to walk away. They walked slowly on the campus, tenderly talking about the Communications career and the classes, her friend was almost more excited than she was. Or maybe it was just in the outside, because inside, Jackie felt like floating in the ninth cloud.

Not even in a million years she ever thought she would be able to do this. And here she was.

"Hey, Donna!" a male voice called, both looked up and Donna's hold on her hand decreased.

Jackie looked at the guy walking towards them.

He was wearing a blue dressing pants in a very dark shade that looked elegant, his white shirt was only visible at the sleeves since he was wearing a sweater over it and he looked like some kind of actually handsome dork. He was smiling, but there was something odd on that smile, like if he was trying to not let anyone in.

It remained her of someone else, but she shook her head.

"That's Milo…" Donna murmured to her and Jackie's eyes went big. "I'm sorry, he probably was walking around campus. I didn't thought we could walk into him."

"It's okay." She answered, leting her friend's hand go and going directly to her hair, trying to fix it a little. "How do I look?"

Donna frowned. "Seriously?"

"Yes, Donna!" She answered, Donna only have a thumbs up. "Ugh, you are impossible. You are the one who wanted me to meet him!"

"Shhhh!" She said, tugging at her wriste so they would walk at this Milo guy, who was still walking towards them. "Shut up, and just smile. He is nice and handsome, and has a lot of money and potential. He's perfect for you."

"He better be good, goon."

When they finally catched up with him, Milo greeted Donna with a big smile and then looked at her, his eyes never leaving her face and she felt herself blushing when she realized he was, as Donna had said, pretty attractive. And yes, yes he had something that remained her of someone. And that someone had broken her heart more times than she wanted to remember.

"Hi…" he murmured, his smiled changed and it looked genuine, beautiful.

"Uh, Jackie." Donna called her, she looked at her friend and waited. "This is Milo, the guy I've been talking you about."

"Hi!" She answered, offering her hand to him. Milo took it and shook it happily. "Jackie Burkhart."

"Milo Harrington." He answered. "It's nice to finally met you, Jackie. Donna had told me a lot about you, I was—Uh, I have heard a lot about you."

"Good things, I hope!" She answered, it's been a while since she last flirted but seeing him so flushed made her giggle inside. "I have heard of you some, too."

"You probably hear that I'm awkward." His cheeks went red and she giggle.

"Milo is the editor of Rolling Stone Magazine, Jackie." Donna said, repeating the curriculum she already knew by now. "He came here to give us a couple of conferences about editing and magazine management."

"Oh, so you are a teacher too?"

Milo laughed, shaking his head. "No way, I'll kill someone If I had to teach them. Especially people almost my age." He leaned towards her, as if telling a secret. "We can get pretentious in the journalism world."

Jackie laughed a little, imagining how conversations between this guy and Donna could be. She better mantained him away, though. He was pretty cute and nice to talk to, but right now she couldn't aford any of this. Romance was not in her plans.

"You have a very talented friend here." Milo commented about Donna, she smiled and looked away. Jackie smiled bright at the sight and nodded. "I'm hoping to get some of her stuff to the city, see what we can do to polish it and gave it some difusion."

"Milo, you don't have to—"

"That's my job." He assured her. "The future of rock journalism it's in my hands, I'm seeing part of it right now." He said and Jackie smiled. Wow.

"Come on, I'm just starting. Isn't it a little risky to get all cocky on that?"

"What?" He looked offended. "No! Hey, Donna? Rock and roll it's a risk. You risk being ridicule, but the trick it's to never stop because of that. You think these hairy and screaming guys just wake up one day and decided to go nova on their rebelious phase and sad days?" He smiled. "They knew what it could cost… and they took the risk. So we do the same. We rock with them."

"Oh, my god!" Donna covered her face with her big hands. Jackie looked at her, then at Milo and smield at him when he looked at her again.

He signaled her with one soft finger that touched her nose a little. "You little muse." He murmured. "The world needs girls like you, too."

It overwhelmed her in such a good way, to be called all these wonderful things without actual pretty words being used. He was damn charming, her cheeks felt hot and her smile was starting to make her face hurt. And he kept talking, covering Donna's writing with great compliments and soaking her ego in sweet words that came out natural on his mouth.

She didin't know in what moment Donna had left them alone, slowly walking with Eric after he had show up, them behind talking and talking, and wow, she did a lot of talking isn't it? But he didn't seem off by this, he seemed to actually enjoy her chatering tongue and over the top hand gestures.

Finally, the grand finale. "You know, I would love to keep numering the one hundred and two ways of dancing to Frank Sinatra…" he said, "So why don't we keep this conversation over dinner some time?"

"Well—" No. The aswer was no. she had a lot to do, on herself. Jackie bited her own lip and watched as his eyes went bigger, almost putting like she uses a lot. "Uhm, well. Yeah. Why not?"

"Yes!" He smiled from ear to ear.

Damn. She was lost.

**~0~**

_December 5, 1982. Point Place's General Hospital – Smoking Area. 6:10 pm._

"Hi."

Hyde looked up from the parking lot, the voice calling his attention sounded rough, almost hurt. And it was Harrington all along. He swallowed and greeted him, then saw Santoro approaching them and his body felt relaxed at the fact. With this guy between them, things wouldn't be so awkward as it always was.

"Hey, man." Santoro called and he nodded in his direction. "Have you seen Jacque? Everyone has seen her already." He said, Harringotn seemed lost anywhere else and didn't pay attention to their conversation, he shook his head. "Awn, again with that? Man, aren't you difficult?"

"What?" He wanted to laugh. He had met this guy for less than a year, but her was so free and so simple, he could call him up like if they had met the other for years.

"She wakes up on your guard and instead of going see her, you play misterious and distant. Not cool, buddy." He answered.

Distant.

Harrington had looked at them after, offering a cigarrette to Santoro who took it and then to him. He gestiated for a second, but took it anyway. Not like if he was going to smoke it, it just felt right to take it.

"So, Jacque and I are officially over." Harrington said. It felt weird and wrong to be here, but his feet didn't react to just leave. "I'll be going back to New York after she leaves the hospital." He looked at Santoro. "Bruce? You with me?"

"If anything else isn't needed around, yeah." He sighed. "Is she coming back? To the city, I mean."

Hyde looked at them, guilty for wanting to know that information too. Harringotn moved his eyesbrow up and down, then sat down on the concrete balcony. It almost gave him vertigo, to see him so easily sitting there without thinking about how there was anything supporthing his back but the wind.

Santoro sat down in the groud, back to the balcony, waiting for Harringotn to give him the lighter after he smoked the first drag of his cigarrette.

Harrington's cigarrette were importet from Cuba, Santoro's cousin buid them especially for him and Hyde wasn't sure how exactly he knew this information, but Santoro had given him one the afternoon they met, and he had enjoyed the moment with both men without thinking about Jackie.

That was the first time he thought, in different situations, he could had befriended Harrington without problem.

"Here." Santoro gave him the lighter. He took it almost gestiating and got his own cigarrette on.

He hand't smoked since he told Forman about his feelings for Jackie. It almost felt like a crime to do it now, but it also felt right due the strange of the scene. Harringotn said nothing after the first two drags, then sighed.

"I'm not sure if she's coming back." He admited. "I hope she does, she has an excellent job and hasn't finished school yet."

Santoro nodded. "Yeah, she has more oportunities there."

True. Jackie had a whole life of her own in New York, she wouldn't just leave it all after how much it costed her to find her own worth and independency. But to think about all those things when nothing was happening was just going to mess with his mind and he wasn't in the mood to feel like a teenager again. Instead, he enjoyed the cuban cigarrette.

"You know, she misses this place horribly." Milo commented, they looked at him. "I hope she finds the inbetween soon. I always tried to spoil her desire of coming back every time she wanted, but I'm not so sure that's what she wants. Let alone what she needs."

"Maybe she can go back once she finish school." Santoro replied.

"And do what?" Hyde added without thinking, both set of eyes followed his words. "There's nothing here. Like you said, she has better oportunities in the city."

Harrington was looking right at him, and Santoro smiled up to him. "Damn right." He said.

Giving it another drag to his cigarrette, he wondered if he could—no. Not a time to think of that. For what he heard, Jackie had small amnesia. So at the end, all that crap of opening his heart to her as she slept was just ridiculous. He had made a fool of himself in that room, and soon he would repeat it. Just…

"Hey, Hyde?" Harringotn called, he looked at him and blinked a couple of times. "No hard feelings?"

"Uh?"

This guy was the strangest of them all. There was something in his face that wasn't deafeat, it wasn't jelousy either or anger. It just was. His serenity in front of every situation was something to envy, and Hyde nodded. He just did it.

"Alright." He murmured, and went back to his cigarrette.

"Ah, that's better." Santoro said, exhaling the smoke from his body with a big smile. "Much better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: As Harley can go home, Jackie's mind starts showing her things from strange dreams and crazy illusions when new visits surprise her day in ways she wasn't expecting. Jackie and Fez have a conversation too.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	20. Tiny Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Harley can go home, Jackie's mind starts showing her things from strange dreams and crazy illusions when new visits surprise her day in ways she wasn't expecting. Jackie and Fez have a conversation too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone. I’m very sorry for the late update. One of my kittens died and with him my desire to live. Anyway, here’s the chapter. I hope you enjoy it and PLEASE remember to maybe comment on it. We are almost done, two chapters more and that’s it.
> 
> Especial thanks to my friends NannyGirl and MistyMontainHop for they support, and to RuffianHyde for her friend in this last chapter and support on the whole story. You girls are incredible.
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/158686641130/heart-like-yours-chapter-xx-tiny-sun-jackie) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XX – Tiny Sun.**

_December 6, 1982. Point Place's General Hospital – Jackie's Room. 8:34 am._

Jackie looked up after she instructed the person knocking at her door to come in.

A big hand with long fingers was showing her toothpaste and an orange toothbrush. Donna. She smiled when her friend's happy face appeared next, followed by a tired looking Eric who went directly to her right to sit down near the flowers he had brought for her before.

"Oh, thank God!" She exclaimed about the toiletries Donna had showed her; she had asked for it since _yesterday_ and Donna had promised to bring her what she wanted.

Her teeth were sensitive and regular toothpaste didn't help her as the special one she found in New York did.

It was deep in her suitcase that she had thought lost, but Donna had shared how she and Milo had retrieved it. It was now stationated at the Forman's house, the place she was probably going to end up for recovery after the hospital.

"I couldn't find your toothbrush, though." Donna confessed, sitting at the edge of the bed at her side; Eric had closed his eyes and seemed to be sleeping.

A different scene in another room came to her mind while Donna explained she had bought the new toothbrush at the Piggly Wigly before coming to the hospital.

In it, Eric had fallen asleep to her left, sitting on the chair she had seen St—Hyde sit in before. But he hadn't been in her room yet, and Eric actually hadn't seen her in that room, but this one. Even that image made sense to her for no reason.

Her eyes went to Donna's face, but she looked at Eric again.

' _I haven't called Hyde, Jackie.'_ He had said, eyes still closed, the tone of his voice too deep to be Eric. She shook her head, and looked back at Donna, who was frowning, and Jackie realized she had asked her a question.

"Jackie?" She repeated. Jackie blinked a couple of times, but nothing came to mind. "I asked if you are okay…"

"Oh." She almost jumped, but the pain in her side make her stay put in her sitting position with her back cushioned on the re-adjusted bed. "Yeah, I'm just… still a little dizzy."

Donna didn't seem convinced and Jackie wanted to curse; they had grown even closer after Eric left for Africa and they could read the other too well, almost scary-too-well. Jackie swallowed and took the toiletries in her hands.

"Would you pass me some water, please?"

"Sure."

Donna moved to the small bathroom in the room, and Jackie opened the box with the toothpaste after tearing apart the one with the new toothbrush. It seemed like the sound of them talking had been enough to wake up Eric from his short nap and he was looking at Jackie with red, puffy eyes.

"Has Hyde come?" He said.

Like before, her heart jumped at the mention of his name and she only shook her head, not sure of how much emotion she might show if she spoke. Eric yawned, lifting his arms above his head and moving them slowly to his side, almost knocking over Bob's flowers and his own.

"Damn!" He had stood to prevent everything from falling, as Donna returned with a glass full of water and Jackie applied the toothpaste.

"What are you doing, Eric?" Her friend said, there was a smile on her face and she knew it meant there was no malice toward Eric. "Hey, Jackie? You know who brought that heart with evil horns?"

She looked at it while brushing her teeth almost furiously, she had been feeling disgusting since she woke up and it needed to go away.

The heart looked like a plushie, fat also. It was damn cheap for sure, not the best of the gifts to give to someone in coma. She knew who brought it for her. It was Eric, had to be. Besides his childish smirk, she had it clear in her mind.

He had come running, giggling like a child, and he had put it at her side. "It was stupid Eric." She said.

Donna laughed even harder after Eric un-crossed his arms and looked at her with a frown. "Hey!"

"Whaff?" Jackie said with the toothbrush in her mouth, Donna moved to take it. "Thanks."

"I'm not—I'm…"

She waited as she was going to ask them for something to spit in, but Donna had brought another glass with her for that. Jackie smiled at her before spitting in the cup, then took some more water and did the same.

"Thank you." She said to her friend, and then looked at Eric. "Oh, shut up. You came here to sleep!" Jackie signalled him with a firm finger. "And you didn't call Steven—" Damn it! Jackie frowned even deeper, and corrected herself. "You didn't call Hyde immediatelly like your mother asked you to!"

Eric seemed surprised to hear that, his eyes went big and the green of them filled with some kind of curiosity and shame at the same time. "How do you know that…?"

How did she know that? This boy was even more stupid than she bel—no. He was right. How the hell did she know that? Jackie blinked a couple of times and looked first at Donna, who looked worried again, and then to Eric.

' _Jackie, I'm pregnant'_ , she heard Donna say but her lips were closed and she wasn't crying. It was all inside her head. Had she dreamed her friend being pregnant? She didn't look or act as such, and that was something Donna would have told her right away… right? Jackie swallowed and tried to smile.

"Your mom told me." She answered, hoping she sounded sure enough to convince them. "She also told me about the flowers and the heart…" She glared up at Eric. "Which is not funny at all!"

That seemed to distract them from her clairvoyent episode, and Donna sat down at her left side, were Hyde was usually… why? Again, it was happening again. How could she even know Hyde had been sitting in there at some point?

She looked at the chair, but Donna must have thought she was looking at her and smiled. Jackie returned the smile and held her friend's hand to assure her that everything was okay, even with these confusing things in her head. Eric kept telling her about how it had happened, how he found the heart and put it in the room.

Donna's fingers laced with hers, something she didn't do with many people. She had done it with her dad when she was a kid and they walked together through the mall or the park. She had done it with her best friend from kindergarden and Michael when they dated, and then with Hyde for the longest time.

At some point, she had started doing it with Donna and then with Fez, especially when they lived together. At the time, she longed to do so with Hyde and it sickened her to see him hold hands that way with Samantha—and then came Milo.

Victoria. June. Morgan. All of them were here, all of them that mattered.

She wondered if her dad knew. And she wondered why she knew that Hyde was supposed to talk to him about her.

**~0~**

_Jackie's Room. 9:27 am._

"Jaaaaaackieeeeeee!"

Harley, for what Jackie had remembered and heard, was Kat's now orphaned but cheerful daughter. She was only three years old and it was very likely she wasn't understanding what was going on at the moment. And really, Jackie wished she had the same luxury.

"Hey, Harley!" She greeted with a smile on her face.

Mrs. Forman laughed at the little girl trying to pull herself up onto Jackie's bed, so Mr. Forman walked over and helped her up. She smiled at the man, who went to sit down at his wife's side again and Jackie gave all her attention to the little girl, who soon started to explain the doctor had told her she could go home today.

She saw the two women she recognized as Patty and Brenda sit down and talk to the Formans, saying something about how today they were going to bury Kat and they had asked for Harley to be there. After a final evaluation, the doctors agreed that the girl was ready to go home.

"Where's daddy?" The little girl asked suddenly, everyone in the room looked at her.

"Uh, honey?" Brenda smiled at her. "Are you talking about Betsy's godfather?"

"God-daddy?" She said in a murmur, Jackie's head had one of those annoying flashes she'd been having since the morning before, this time of Ste—Hyde standing with Betsy in another hospital room, Harley calling him da—

"Steven?" Damn it. Jackie closed her eyes, then smiled and opened them again. Harley was looking at her. "Are you talking about Steven?" But she didn't seem to get it, so Jackie moved her hands and made herself a pair of glasses with her fingers. "He wears these sunglasse all the time and has this grumpy expression…" she frowned.

Harley laughed at that, clapping before answering happily. "Yes!"

"Oh, well." She smiled back. "It beats me, the bas—" she stopped her big mouth before saying the word. "He hasn't shown up since I woke up."

"He hasn't?" Patty asked, the surprise on her face almost made Jackie smile. "No way, he's been moping around for days!"

"Patty!" Brenda called, slapping her shoulder. "Stop that."

Jackie looked at both women and she just knew, she knew one was Kat's biological aunt and the other was the woman's partner. Patty laughed like she had done something funny, but Jackie's stomach felt sore with the fact that no, Steven hadn't shown up yet.

Calling him Hyde seemed ridiculous now.

All those dreams she'd been having and the flashes of other things she didn't know were driving her crazy, and she had a few clues she wanted to solve right away, with his help: A ring he was holding, that she knew was hers. This little girl and the way she spoke of them. Kat.

Her heart felt heavy, like every time she missed him when he was married and the tears couldn't stop rolling down her face. Like when she needed him the most and he wasn't there, and she couldn't tell anyone about it. Who would understand? That she was—was she really so deep into this right now?

"Are you sad?" Harley spoke in a murmur, like she was asking her to divulge a secret.

"No, baby."

The little girl didn't seem convinced by her words, so Jackie smiled and decided to play with her hair. It seemed to make her happy and she looked right into her blue yes.

They could remind her of Steven's, but his eyes were like summer's sky and Harley's were like Christmas. If people looked at them together, it might be possible to think she was his daughter and the idea made Jackie blush suddenly, unsure of why she would think about such things right now.

"And you?" Jackie asked, not sure of what she meant. "Are you sad?"

"Yes..." She answered. "My mommy is in Heaven now, and I'm not going to see her again. That's what auntie Patty said."

When she glanced up at where the other two women sat, the four adults were looking at them and she felt a lump in her throat. Standing, Patty walked towards them and asked the girl if she wanted to go, but she shook her head and then, Jackie looked up at the woman.

"Would it be possible for me to…" She sighed. "Can I speak to her for a second alone?"

"Oh," Patty smiled and nodded, "sure. Bren, honey…"

"Yeah, let's go."

The two stood and walked to the door. Mr. Forman had stood too and was only waiting for Mrs. Forman to follow him, but she first went to check on them. After Jackie smiled at her and nodded saying she was fine, she and Harley were left alone.

"Harley—"

"The doctor said to auntie Patty and auntie Brenda that you don't remember me and my mommy."

Jackie swallowed. Was she really going to have this conversation with a little girl? "That was before. I do remember you. I remember you were playing with colorful rings," she smiled, "and your mom told me about you two moving to Kenosha."

Harley nodded, a small smile had appeared on her pink lips. She moved from the bed and walked to the wall filled with drawings. Bob had helped to put them all back after Betsy had left, and Jackie was still thinking about her and what she had said.

Today, Jess was one year old, and everyone was at the Kelso's for his celebration.

She knew Caroline had probably alread arrived, and that Fez had asked Steven to drive him to the bus station to welcome her. The fact that Steven had always had certain patience with Caroline made her smile; he was always a good man even when he didn't want it to be known.

"I'm going to live with my aunties for a while." Harley commented, coming back to the bed after checking that her drawings were still in their places. "They say I will get another mommy later." She didin't sound happy, she was only repeating what was explained to her. And she understood. She understood perfectly what the adults were saying to her. It broke Jackie's heart to realize it. "And maybe I will have a daddy, too."

Harley's situation was something that resonated with her for some reason, probably because she had been taken into another home when her mother abandoned her and her father was thrown into jail. But at that time, she was almost an adult, she understood most things. Harley was a kid, an innocent child who was never going to see again the person that loved her and she loved the most.

It broke her heart to think of it, and Jackie bit the inside of her cheek to not cry in front of her.

"I'm very sorry about…" She started, Harley was blinking, waiting for her to talk. "I'm sorry about Kat." She nodded. "Listen, I know—Everyone is telling you that it will be okay, and eventually it will be. But right now, it's sad and it sucks." She said, hoping no one would come around later asking why she had said all these things to the girl. There was a part of her that also thought maybe Harley wouldn't even understand half the things she was saying. "You are allowed to be sad and cry, you know?"

"Yes…"

"Good." She swallowed. "And you are allowed to not… want to have anyone else as your mom."

The girl only nodded.

"But I promise you, you will be happy."

Harley looked at her like she was asking for something more, but Jackie didn't have anything else.

After a few seconds, the girl smiled and nodded. Her eyes went smaller before she asked with a soft tone, "Would you be my other mommy?"

Milo's hands were opeing a piece of paper, she looked down at it when he gasped and found a child's drawing, _'Other mommy'_ , it read over her head and the drawing was on her wall when she looked back at it. How? How did she know that? Was it a dream, or was it real? All these images made no sense, but Harley was asking this now and it was unfair to lie to a kid.

"I don't know, honey." She answered.

She thought of her job. It paid enough for her bills and herself, she was saving the rest for—something. Whatever it could be needed for. Something like this crap that had just happened to her. And she thought of her unfinished studies, her life in a different city outside Wisconsin.

"Would you know tomorrow?" Harley asked with genuine curiosity on her eyes. "I'm leaving today, but I can come tomorrow."

"Uh…"

Finally, she thought of her civil status.

Suddenly becoming a mother was the furthest thing from her mind, especially now that she was alone again. Then, there was _Steven_. Her heart jumped every time she thought of him and it was so clear now, that at some point between Izzy's birthay party and the accident, she had realized her feelings for him had come back in full force.

Would he freak out again if she decided—Why was she even thinking of that? Blinking, Jackie nodded her head and felt a chill going down her spine.

"Yeah, we can discuss it tomorrow."

"Yaaay!"

The girl went to hug her. She did it gently and carefully because Nurse Nora had told them her ribs were still hurt. While Jackie didn't feel it that much thanks to the medicines, if she moved too much or too suddenly, it felt like something was tearing her from her side.

Jackie hugged Harley back, closing her eyes and smelling the sweet perfume of her strawberry shampoo and the candies kids seemed to always have with them. By the time she was waving her hand to her and the aunts, her heart felt heavy and she started to cry, missing something.

"Honey, honey?" Mrs. Forman ran to her side. "Are you okay? What is it?"

As Mrs. Forman tried to sooth her crying, Mr. Forman excused himself and chose to wait outside. Jackie wanted to thank him, since she wasn't in the mood to be seen by anyone in this state, but she hoped at least he understood that she appreciated it. Slowly, her tears seemed to come to an end, even if she still felt like sobbing and moaning.

Once the whimperings became softer, Jackie looked at Mrs. Forman and she smiled back at her.

"Everything will be fine, honey."

She wanted to nod. And she wanted to ask her what was happening to her. She also wanted to tell her everything she had been seeing, ask if there was truth in it or if she had gone crazy after the crash. But no words came out her mouth.

They were alone in her room, and when Jackie finally decided to talk, she wished she didn't sound as insane as she seemed in her head.

"Mrs. Forman, I…" She swallowed hard. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Mrs. Forman sat down in front of her on her bed, "anything."

"Is Donna—Is Donna pregnant?"

For a second, Mrs. Forman seemed surprised to hear that and a part of her felt certain relief until she laughed happily. "Yes! Yes, my baby boy will be a daddy soon!"

Jackie felt that cold again, this time it made her shiver and tears started to blind her sight, one hand over her mouth. Mrs. Forman kept talking about the good news and how they would have to make some explaination to their guests and Pastor Dave, but that now that she was awake, the wedding could happen as planed.

With that, Jackie looked at her again and Mrs. Forman stopped talking. "Jackie, what's wrong?"

"No one told me that." She answered. "No one told me Donna was pregnant, I just knew it."

"What do you mean?" She frowned.

"I mean…" Donna's voice sounded in her head, she was crying while repeating she was pregnant until it sounded so happy, it make her smile. "She told me… but I wasn't here. You understand, Mrs. Forman?"

The older woman looked as surprised as Jackie felt, she didn't move nor say a word. Slowly, she stood in front of her, walking to her face and caressing her cheek as she cried.

"I have these memories… I don't know if they are real." She cried. "I've seen… everyone in here. I—I have this image of Mr. Forman talking to me and Steven showing a ring to Betsy, a ring that I know is mine." Mrs. Forman looked conflicted and she swallowed hard. "I know I sound crazy! I know everyone thinks I'm just obssessed with marriage, but it's true! I saw it!"

"Maybe it was a d—"

"A dream! I know! But I remember Donna telling me she's pregnant and Eric telling everyone in this same room about it." Mrs. Forman's hand left her face, she looked almost scared. "My mom was here. She said a lot of stuff and then left, like she always does. I know my dad wants to talk to Steven and that Michael—" She put a hand over her lips again, letting the tears roll down free.

Whatever this was, Mrs. Forman seemed not to have answers for her and her silence only made Jackie realize something was wrong. Soon, the woman's hands were on her free one and Jackie looked up at her face.

The more she cried, the more her ribs hurt, and she cried even more. Like a damn cycle, she couldn't help it.

"Calm down, honey…" Mrs. Forman suggested softly. "It's okay, it's okay…"

Mrs. Forman hugged her to her chest, and Jackie rounded her body with her arms, softly crying on her as the memories kept going inside her head. Kitty caressed Jackie's hair, and talked tenderly.

"There are some who believe people who have been in your state can hear what is going on around them." She explained. "Maybe you did hear everything we were saying while we were in the room." Jackie stopped crying, listening to Mrs. Forman. "And your brain is trying to create images for it, since there was nothing, it needs an image."

"You think that's possible?"

"Jackie," Mrs. Forman lifted her chin with a sweet smile on her face, "all I know is that miracles happen every day in this building. Things that could be strange to anyone else, and the people that come back, they always have something to tell."

"Like this?"

"I'm not sure if they experience anything like you have, but there are things some dream or some _feeling_ that still resonates with them." She sighed. "And you are here now, thank God. Whatever you listened to here, don't be scared of it. I hope you heard how much we love you and how much we wanted you to wake up."

' _I love you. I fucking do.'_

Jackie's eyes opened wide and she nodded to Mrs. Forman who only smiled at her, kissing the top of her head before going to sit down in front of her again. Her hand kept caressing hers, but Jackie couldn't put attention to anything else but the small memory that had just popped inside her head.

' _I've been loving you for so long, I don't know why it took me so much to say it.'_

"Where's…?" She looked up at Mrs. Forman, the woman smiled at her.

"Yes?"

' _I have lost you too many times, I can do it once more if I don't lose you this way.'_

"Where's Steven?"

"Oh, he's probably with Fez, picking up Caroline. They will be here before going to Jess' party, darling."

' _A world where you aren't real is my personal hell, and this—this. This is like a purgatory.'_

"Okay… I need to see him."

' _Jackie?'_

**~0~**

_November 24, 1984. Grandma Izzy's House – New York City. 7:04 pm._

Hyde's eyes opened wide and almost painfully the second he heard her words, then looked away hoping Jackie hadn't noticed. She sighed at his side, slowly looked at the person in front of her and then back at him, waiting.

"Uh—" He said. It sounded so much like that time they first kissed and she had wanted to hear if he had felt something. He had felt everything back then, just like right now. "Man, I thought—You two seemed fine. Did something happen?"

She shook her head. "You know, I…" she sighed again, she had been doing that a lot in his presense for a while. "I got scared after what happened with Milo's grandfather, but even before that, I was thinking—There's something that just isn't with us anymore. Maybe it was never there."

Even if he had something to say, he couldn't find his voice. Hyde nodded at that, and she smiled a little, taking her drink and giving it a sip.

She had broken up her engagement. It was impossible not to look at her hand, and not to think about what it meant. Was it only a coincidence that she had done it after they had shared a whole night of being together, being honest with each other, exchanging words so naturally? Could it be—

No. Hyde almost shook his head to himself. He couldn't think like that, it was just stupid and even disrespectful to her and her desires. But she was single, man. Now she was truly single.

"So," he started, not so sure about what he was going to say now, "what… what are you going to do? You were living with him, do you…" And what was he going to do? Offer her a place? Where? What the hell was he talking about? Jesus, he needed a damn stopper on his mouth. "Do you have a place to stay or anything?"

She nodded, having another sip of her drink. "Yes, don't worry about that." She shook her hand in front of him, the movement was so familiar, it made him smile. "I'm living with Juny and Vic. Which is great, it's near my job and near the subway station. The line to get to NYU is right there."

"Sounds like you have all covered."

"Well," she seemed worried, "not all. I don't know how to tell this to everyone else. Actually," she looked at him, "please don't tell anyone. Not yet."

"Sure, man."

Why she didn't want anyone to know, he didn't feel like finding out. But holy fuck, Jackie was single. That's all that mattered now.

"Can I ask you something, Hyde?" He only nodded. "Why did you break up with Sara?" He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted. "Like really, what happened? She seemed great and you seemed to… really like her."

She lowered her stare for a few seconds, it made him realize something new he had always seen when Sara was in the room but never dared to put a name to it. Jackie was jealous. It almost made him smile, but he shook his head and sighed.

"We had the future talk."

"Oh."

Quickly, she grabbed her drink again and he smiled. Damn, so that was still his reputation.

"Here's the interesting thing." He started, she looked at him without stopping drinking. "As we were talking, I was nodding alongside every single part of her plan." Finally, she lowered the glass and looked only at him, swallowing visibly. "And suddenly, I said no in my mind."

An awkward silence appeared between them, there was something tense in it, but she talked. "Why?"

"I…" He sighed. "I meant what I told you, Jackie. When we talked on the phone. Every word."

He moved his head when she didn't respond, only put her lips in a line that soon became white. Swallowing, she set her glass back on the table and looked at him again.

"There was someone else." He continued. "There has always been… someone else."

She nodded, looking small in front of him. He had his arm over her chair and they were so close, they hadn't been this close in two years and when she moved her hand to his face, his heart stopped for a second. But she only moved his glasses, lowering them and smiling, looking at his eyes.

"Your eyes are impossibly blue." She said, her voice sounded so happy, it almost made him laugh. It had been a while since he made her look like this, like she was shining all over the room. And he removed his glasses, so she could see his eyes. "That's better." She smiled. "So…"

Her small hand took the collar of his dressing shirt, tugging at it softly while standing, and he stood with her, understanding she wanted him to follow. Her hand left his clothes and when he stood at her side, she took his arm and interlaced hers with it.

"You told me you were going to show me the garden!"

This. This was it, this was exactly what he had been waiting for, what he thought he was never getting. One last chance. So Hyde smiled and started to walk, guiding her through Izzy's home.

He saw his grandmother standing with some of her guests on the other side of the living room. She smiled at him as they passed to her garden, and he nodded in her direction.

' _Barnetts do miracles'_ , her voice sounded inside his head. She was always saying that, and she was also always saying he had it in him too. Looking at Jackie, at her smile made of sunshine and summer nights without end, he hoped she was right.

**~0~**

_December 6, 1982. Point Place's General Hospital – Jackie's Room. 12:22 pm._

Every time the door opened, Jackie hoped to see one person and it was never him.

At this point, she thought she should stop doing that, looking at the door with some kind of desperation, but it seemed impossible for her. She kept doing it, just like she was doing it right now.

"You got another visitor, darling." Nurse Nora announced, she had been moderating her visits since, apparently, Milo and Mrs. Forman had managed to make a circus out of her room and there were times when _everyone_ had been inside.

Jackie smiled, wishing maybe this time—"Jackie!" A femenine voice said, followed by a bunch of blond hair bouncing in her direction and Jackie prepared herself for the pain of Caroline's hug.

But just when she was about to hug her, the girl stopped and looked at her borken leg and the way she had an arm already covering her ribs. She smiled at her friend when she apologized, and Fez entered the room, no one else behind him.

Sighing, Jackie prepared herself for more well wishes and excuses of why Steven Hyde wasn't presenting his ass in her room after all he had told her—if it was true—in this same place.

"You look better than I imagined!" Caroline said, her blue eyes were crystaline and something inside Jackie moved. Had she truly been crying? "I was so worried! Fezzie said the accident was terrible," suddenly, she frowned and Jackie braced herself for the storm, "we could have lost you!" She stood, suddenly angry in a worried way.

Smiling, Fez moved behind her and put both hands over her shoulders. "It's okay, cupcake, I know Jackie here knows she had us all worried."

The blonde looked at her and she nodded, Fez winked in her direction before Caroline looked at him and her shoulders dropped, all the tension in her body gone.

"I was so worried." She said again, now in a dulcent tone that made Jackie smile. "I bet you had the most interesting dreams!"

Jackie arched her eyebrows. Boy, Caroline didn't have any idea.

The couple sat down near her bed, talking about how happy they were she was awake and Fez started to get her up to speed on everything that had happened while she slept. Not feeling like having her experiences been questioned, Jackie let him talk and more images started to pop inside her mind, like a cinematic sequence she wasn't sure she understood.

Had she truly been here? At some point, her mind had told her she had been walking between them without being seen. Like a ghost. Was that possible? Jackie wasn't even sure about telling this to Mrs. Forman, maybe the crash had just damaged her head and no one wanted to tell her to keep her from worrying.

For some reason, this sounded a little bit better than admitting she had been a ghost.

"Okay, so I was telling Hyde and Fezzie," Jackie looked at Caroline almost immediatelly after hearing Hyde's name. Fez smiled knowingly but Jackie decided to ignore it, even when her cheeks felt a little warm, "that since Donna is FINALLY getting married, you will need another best friend to take care of you while she's gone."

"Uh, Caroline—"

"So, I'm going to take care of you while we are in Point Place! Got it?"

She had two options. She could say no and condemn herself to a never ending lecture about how wrong she was, or she could say yes and endure the winter break with a too loving Caroline, who was probably going to cook for her and do her laundry, and who could, probably, make Steven go put his ass in front of her.

"Yes." She smiled and Caroline seemed pleased with that, clapping a couple of times before saying how she needed her to stay at the Formans for the plan to proceed. "Caroline?" The girl looked at her, blinking a couple of times. "Where is Steven?"

"Oh, well—"

"He's outside." Fez answered, arms crossed over his chest. "Avoiding you."

She wanted to scream, but the pain in her body didn't allow her that. Instead she sighed and pouted.

"Why?" She asked, making the Y longer than necessary. "I thought I woke up when he was in the room."

"Well, I think it's that." Caroline said, Fez moved his head to one side. "You know our Hyde, Jackie." She crossed her arms. It made her smile a little, every time Caroline defended Steven. It was something curious but great. "It costs him a little to be around when his feelings are exposed." She put a hand over hers. "But he will come around, you'll see."

Jackie nodded, Fez was smilling happily at them. "I just really want to talk to him, at least a little."

"I know you do, but give him a little time. He'll come in here alone." She said, making her nod once more.

"Or," Fez started, looking at Caroline with certain kind of secrecy, "someone could convince him to see Jackie."

"You think I…?" Caroline said, there was a small spark of excitement. "You think I could do that?"

"Absolutely, cupcake! You have become a good friend to him, I bet you could convince him."

"Oh!" She clapped, happily standing now. "I can convince him!" She then looked at Jackie and she lifted her eyebrows, waiting. "I'll be right back! I'm going to bring you Hyde!"

"That would be nice, Caroline." Jackie put a hand over her chest, smiling at her friend. "Thank you!"

When she left, Jackie had the chance to laugh a little with Fez and she hoped Steven would not be rude to Caroline when she found him. Her friend moved closer to her and she sighed, taking Fez's hand when he offered it.

"How are you doing, princess?"

"Honestly?" She said, frowning a little. "Awful. My leg tickles and my entire side hurts a lot, Fez. And I hate peeing on myself…" She murmured that last part, Fez laughed a little and she made a face at him. "I mean it!"

"Hey, just imagine having to stand to go to the bathroom, every time." He suggested. "How much would that hurt?"

"Oh, god!" She said, leaning her back into the pillows. "That's awful…"

"See what I mean?" He sighed. "Peeing in a tube doesn't sound so bad now, ah?" She shook her head and the man smiled at her. "So…" He started, she looked at him with curiosity. "Is there something you want to tell me?" She frowned. "About—I don't know. Milo, maybe? Or Hyde? Or both? And why you aren't wearing your ring?"

"Oh, crap."

Damn Fez and his ability to see right through her. Jackie smiled at him, showing him her right hand, where her ring no longer resided, and letting him take it as she thought of a way to explain everything to him. So she started with Steven.

"I saw Steven in November…" She murmured. "Before his birthday, it was an accident."

"An accident?" He frowned.

"Yeah…" she sighed. "Milo was out town, working. And I went out with Juny and the girls. We saw the inaguration of Grooves and it never occurred to me that he could be there, because—Because _Steven_ wouldn't be there!" Fez didn't seem to get it, so she continued. "It was a party, Fez. With journalists and TV, lots of people…" He nodded then, she continued. "He was there… and I hadn't seen him for so long, I just—I don't know. He went with us for dinner."

"And?"

"And then, I invited him to the CBGB. I knew he had always wanted to go, and I knew that to get in there is a nightmare, but Milo's friends… you know." She shrugged. "I just thought it would be nice. But then we went to Central Park, and we walked for a long time, talking…" She sighed, lost in the memories. "He took me to his grandmother's club, I met her and her husband, stayed with his family for hours." She sighed again. "It was amazing, Fez."

"Jackie, did you and Hyde…?"

"No!" She frowned, a terrible pain followed her voice and she almost cried for it. Her body was still killing her. "No, he took me to my apartment and that was it… we almost kissed, but I stopped… and he didn't do anythigng else, you know? He respected that."

"Of course." He was looking at her with a serious expression, Jackie swallowed before continuing.

"I told Milo the moment he came home. I couldn't lie to him. We didn't fight, he didn't get mad at me or anything, he just accepted it and believed me when I told him nothing had happened. But everything was so tense after that… and I omitted something. I didn't tell him about the almost kiss."

"Why…?"

"Fez, do you really think I would have done it?" She sounded desperate even to her ears. "I wanted him to kiss me… I just thought, that I couldn't tell that to Milo, he wouldn't like that." He nodded then. "Finally, I decided we needed to talk, and the conversation went deeper and deeper, and I just—I needed him to know, that for a while I wasn't feeling that it was a good fit. New York or our relationship."

"And he thought it was Hyde."

"Yes!" She said, she frowned before talking again with the truth. "And it was Steven, Fez…" She bit her bottom lip before continuing. "I mean, he was… the spark of it. I wasn't feeling it already with Milo, but then I saw him and we had been talking before on the phone, and I just—Why I am like this?"

"Please, don't cry." He said, standing and going to hug her on her side. "Don't cry, it's okay…"

She wasn't crying, but he knew she would if she kept talking and that made her tear up a little. It wasn't the horrible sobs from earlier that morning with Mrs. Forman, but she hugged him back and sighed, feeling better already. Having someone to talk to about things was always something she'd loved about Fez; he was always there.

"You are like this, because you are full of love." He smiled. "Look at you, all worried because you are in love. Who could tell Jackie Burk—don't make that face." He laughed. "Did you seriously thought I was that stupid? That I wouldn't notice?"

"No, i—" She swallowed hard. "What are you talking about? I'm not—I'm not."

"Woman, don't be stupid." Fez started. "Listen. You are never alone, princess. And whatever happens next, I'm here." But he was interrupted by a knock on the door. "That isn't Caroline…" And she had to agree.

Jackie cleaned her face and cleared her throat before saying softly, "Come in."

The door opened and Nurse Nora looked inside with a smile. "Sorry, sweetheart, but you got more visits. These are new!"

"New?" She and Fez said at the same time, looking at each other. "Oh, okay… can they come in?" She asked.

Nora nodded. "Absolutely. Hey, guys, she's waiting for you."

A hand waved in her direction before a female voice said hi, and Jackie smiled noticing who it was before the person came into the room, followed by her father and grandparents. Fez stood, ready to greet everyone and Jackie's heart jumped in happiness.

"Hey there!" Angie said, going to her bed and Jackie smiled at her. "You look good! See, guys? We came at the right time." She looked at her family

W.B. laughed at his daughter's comment and left a beautiful bucket of sunflowers at her side, right with the red roses Eric had gotten and the white ones from Bob. Steven's grasshopper was there and W.B. took it for a second, examinating it before leaving it in its place at the devil heart's side, and then went to greet her.

"It's good to see you already recovering." He said, hugging her carefully.

"Thank you so much for coming, Mr. Barnett." She said, feeling genuinely happy for having them there.

"We wanted to come earlier but I had a few things to solve for Steven in Chicago." Angie commented after saying hi to Fez. "And then we went for grandma."

"I wanted to come by myself, but I knew a certain little shit wouldn't have appreciated it." Izzy said, already siting by her side. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"Much better lately." She answered, Ethan sat down at his wife's side and smiled at her. "How have you been?"

It was a little sureal to have all these people visiting. Fez smiled at her when they looked at each other and signaled the door, walking to it. He was going out, and she nodded. They could finish their talk later. Right now, the Barnetts had filled her room with happy voices and beautiful flowers.

She looked at the yellow of the sunflowers, they were big and wide open, they made her feel warm just at the sight of them and Izzy smiled at her when she noticed the woman was looking. Jackie felt her cheeks going red again but shrugged.

"They will be following you around the room."

"Uh?"

"A tiny sun."

Jackie smiled again as she did every time Izzy called her that. She hadn't asked why or to what the woman was refering when she called her that, but it had the same comfortable and happy feeling hearing Steven call her 'doll' had on her when he first did it, so many years ago.

As their conversation went on, Jackie wished she could tell Angie and Izzy about how Steven hadn't seen her since she woke up. But being a spoiled brat at the moment didn't sound good; she just had to wait until he decided to appear.

"By the way," W.B. looked at her, then at the door, "where the hell is my son?"

"Oh, really?" Jackie blinked a couple of times. "You didn't see him before? I haven't seen him since… for a while." She said, surprised.

"No, we thought he would be here." Etahn admitted. "And he wasn't outside either."

"Oh…" She frowned, Izzy palmed her hand a couple of times before smiling at her.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah…"

The door was opened in that moment, she could heard Caroline's voice calling someone out and the first thing she saw was Steven's dark blue blazer, and then his face. Caroline came in after, looking at everyone in the room with wide eyes.

"Uh, sorry?" She murmured. "I just… uhm…" She disappeared then, but Jackie's eyes were still glued to Steven's face.

"Well, there he is!" Ethan laughed. "We summoned him!"

"I told you, if you talk shit about him, he will appear." Angie said, sitting at Jackie's side on the bed. "Well, you look pretty surprised…" She said to her, Jackie looked at her for a second, then back at Steven. "Oh, my God! He hasn't been here before!"

"No…" He murmured, notriously uncomfortable. "Hi…"

Jackie felt like crying. Her nose burned, but her heart was happily dancing inside her and it felt only joy as her eyes registered the way he scratched at the back of his head and looked everywhere but at her. When his eyes finally found hers, she smiled so brightly, it almost hurt her face.

"Steven!" She said, "You're here!"

*******

******

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jackie and Hyde had a long conversation, and so did Hyde and Jack.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	21. Until We Get There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie and Hyde had a long conversation, and so did Hyde and Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. I want to thank you all for your encouragement and comments from last chapter, it's always nice to wake up to kind words and support. I'm doing better now, thank you.
> 
> And this chapter, dear readers, it's (probably) my favorite chapter. I hope you all like it, please remember to leave your comments and let me know what you think!
> 
> Thank you for the help on this chapter to the lovely NannyGirl and RuffianHyde. I would be lost without you, girls.
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/158875173860/heart-like-yours-chapter-xxi-until-we-get) to support me! Thank you!

**Heart Like Yours**

**Chapter XXI – Until We Get There.**

_December 6, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – To Jackie’s Room. 12:00 pm._

Caroline had scoured the hospital for Hyde until she found him at the terrace, trying to enjoy some fresh air with a smoking Santoro, a yawning Forman, and a cranky Harrington who hadn’t slept in days. Hyde was starting to feel as tired, too, but when the girl found him, he had to jump into obedience if he wanted to live.

After hearing that Jackie specifically wanted to see him, that she had been asking for him, he couldn’t just say no.

But Jackie called him _Hyde_ now, a name that was never used by the girl when she had loved him, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear that nothing had changed for her. He was her friend and she had just broken off her engagement, to think he could—well.

To be honest, he was just being a giant baby and a great freakin’ coward. Again.

“You shouldn’t avoid her, you know?” Caroline said as they walked in the hallway to the room. “She seemed very happy to know you are around.”

“Uhm.” And while his mind registred the information and his heart jumped at the words, he couldn’t convince himself that _maybe_ , there was some hope.

“I mean it, Hyde.” Caroline insisted. “Listen, I know she is with Milo and all that jazz. But you two need to sit down and talk, like civilized people.”

He lifted an eyebrow and looked at her, placing his shades on his face again. “Like in rehab reunions?”

She made a face at him and showed him her middle finger. Hyde laughed at that.

“Don’t be a dick, you know what I mean.”

“Yes…” he admitted, standing in front of the door.

 Just when he was about to open it, Caroline put a hand on his arm and he glanced at her.

“She almost died, Hyde.” She reminded him. “You almost lost her forever.” He couldn’t say anything, Fez and his chick could read him easily and that was damn scary. If they ever procreated, those poor kids were never going to get away with anything. “You have to tell her how you feel.” She nodded, waiting for him to do the same. When he didn’t, she added, “Even if it’s a goodbye. It’s only fair.”

Finally, he nodded, because she was right. And it wasn’t like he was going to do it right now, in front of their friends. So, he took a mouthfull of air and opened that door as she told him about the party they were attending that day at the Kelso’s.

He didn’t realize at first, that his family was there with her. And when he saw them, all sitting near Jackie, looking at him with ‘about time’ expressions, he froze with Caroline at his side.

“Uh, sorry?” She murmured. “I just… uhm…” She gestured to the door and disappeared while gracing him with an apologetic smile. She always felt shy among strangers and he nodded in her direction.

“Well, there he is!” Ethan laughed. “We summoned him!”

“I told you, if you talk shit about him, he will appear.” Angie said, sitting at Jackie’s side on the bed. “Well, you look pretty surprised…” She said to Jackie, who glanced at her for a second, then turned her attention back to him. Hyde swallowed; she hadn’t stopped looking at him. “Oh, my God! He hasn’t been here before!”

“No…” He murmured, uncomfortable as hell. “Hi…”

Jackie kept looking at him, he could feel it even when he wanted to stare at everything but her. It kinda embarrassed him, because now everyone knew he hadn’t shown up after she woke up. And he was so fucking scared. Why lie? He fucking was.

Scratching the back of his head, Hyde breathed in and out, concentrated on that, and slowly sought out Jackie’s eyes. They were full of life again, surprised, but shining like stars once more.

“Steven!” She said, “You are here!”

Her voice sounded—so happy, so damn _happy_.

And she was shining again, like when she had seen him at Grooves in New York, or when he showed up clean shaven after her dad had gone to jail. It almost killed him. It would have if it wasn’t for the fact that he had done it again: made her shine so brightly that the sunflowers at her nightstand should follow her.

“Hi, Jackie.”

She didn’t say anything else, only smiled and sighed like a lovesick puppy. It was as if everything had changed since the last time they saw each other, a few weeks ago. So he walked inside, going first to greet his grandmother, and Izzy smiled at him, too.

“About time you show up.” His grandma said.

“What?”

“We just found out you hadn’t been here to see Jackie until now!” Angie answered. Her anger didn’t sound as terrifiying as it did when it was real; she was only slightly annoyed by his negligence. His sister probably understood why he had been avoiding this room. “Where have you been?”

“Here and there.” He anwered, now kissing her cheek to greet her, then passing to see his father and Ethan. “I just—“

“We should go!” Izzy said suddenly and Hyde didn’t have the energy to look at her because _of course_ , she would leave him alone with Jackie. This wasn’t how he thought things would go.

He thought he was going to be in this room with Fez and Caroline, that’s what the blonde girl had told him. But now, his family had agreed immediately at the suggestion and were saying their goodbyes to Jackie, promising to be back the second he left the room, and she didn’t stop them.

In her complacency after this hell, she only nodded and smiled to most people.

Kelso had told him about Betsy’s little scene and how mad he was at his daughter for upsetting Jackie like that. His friend was a good dad, and he had also let him know Jackie, definitely, had no idea of what Kat had told their goddaughter.

To believe in what Betsy had told him now seemed stupid, but the ring had been where she had said, just like the phone number to Sean and man, what if Jackie was just lying out of fear? What if she had heard his ramblings last night and that was why she was so—

“Steven, are you okay?” She said.

It had been a while since she called him that.

But he swallowed and sat down where he had last night, looking at her with a neutral expression, he hoped.

“I am.” He said. “How about you? You are the one who just came back from a coma, man. You are a miracle now.”

She closed her eyes and laughed; the sound filled his mind like it did the room and he almost sighed. Instead, Hyde smiled at her.

“I’m… I don’t know. My sides still hurt but I’m so drugged, I don’t care.” She sounded almost that kind of happy, it made him smile a bit.

“I saw your dad.” He said after a brief pause. She frowned and he decided to talk. “He wanted me to talk to him when you woke up.”

“Oh…” She nodded. “Yeah, I knew. Sorry.”

Someone must had told her, he tried to convince himself of that. Jackie didn’t say anything else, so he swallowed and decided to pass on Mr. Burkhart’s message.

“He said he hopes you get better soon and that when you do, you should go see him.”

“Of course I’ll see him.” She sighed. “He keeps saying I don’t go often enough. I go twice a month, sometimes even once a week. I live in New York!” She said, and he listened knowing this wasn’t for him, she was just frustrated about—well, everything in a way. “What does he want from me?”

“Jackie,”

“I’m sorry…” She interrupted him. “I’m just… he should be here, okay?”

“I know.” He answered. “He knows that, too. He said he is very sorry.” She shook her head and he cleared his throat before continuing. “He… also wants to know if you are still not taking Milo back.”

Jackie looked at him for long seconds, it felt like an hour, even when it may have been just an entire minute. He knew this sounded suspicious and he hadn’t wanted to ask it, even when his entire body ached to know, but in the end his mouth had worked things out without consulting with his brain and he had put himself in the worst of situations.

“Why haven’t you been here?” She asked instead, it almost broke his heart. “Are you avoiding me or something?”

“No…” He sighed now, not sure of what to say. “Well, just a little.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“Jackie, listen—“ He wasn’t sure of what to tell her, but whatever it was, it had better be good. He wasn’t liking the expression on her face. “When you woke up, I was here.” She nodded. “And I had—“

If he wanted this to start as it should, he needed to be honest. Jackie was waiting for him to talk, and there was a part of him that felt like she was counting on him for this. But he couldn’t talk, he couldn’t tell her what he had said last night and he hated himself for it. Yet, she smiled. She always smiled at him anyway.

“Still bad at talking, huh?” She murmured, smoothing the sheets over her legs. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure…”

She moved slowly, taking the grasshopper that was at her night stand. He wanted to help her but she glared at him and did everything herself. It made him smile and feel much better to find out she still treasured her independence, every bit of it, even like this.

“When were you thinking about giving me this?” She showed him the grasshopper.

Her fingers grabbed at it firmly, near her body, almost to her chest. She seemed fond of it and he wondered who had told her about it and what that person had said on his behalf. Hyde sighed and swallowed before finally answering.

“It’s a Christmas gift.” He confessed. “I just thought you would like it.”

“You always critisized me for liking stuffed animals.”

“Yeah, well…” What could he say? “Jackie,” He took her hand. She didn’t take it away and he saw that as a good thing, “I was a stupid teenager, okay?” She nodded. In another time, he would have been offended. But right now, it almost made him laugh. “I’m not like that anymore. Or at least, I’m trying not to be.”

“So…” She played with his fingers while speaking, it made a mess of his stomach. “If you liked me again, would you buy me flowers?”

Was she flirting with him? Okay. Okay.

“No.” He answered, lifting a eyebrow.

“No?” She frowned again.

“No. Why would I show you affection with something that dies in a matter of days?”

Jackie giggled at that, probably remembering that time with the plastic flowers. Her hand had landed over her lips, and Hyde knew he would never get tired of hearing her laughter. Taking the grasshopper from her hands - she sighed in return - he moved the stuffed animal to get her attention.

“Jackie…” He murmured, she was looking at him with those eyes full of life and he wondered if this was a good idea in the end. “I do _like_ you.” Not exactly what he wanted to say, but she studied him, waiting for more. “It’s not an ‘again’ thing, I have been _liking_ you for a while.”

“You _like_ me?” Her voice sounded amused, as if she knew something else.

“Look—“

“It’s a little too soon.” She said. Hyde looked up at her face and found she wasn’t lying, she wasn’t saying this to make him feel better, and she wasn’t rejecting him. Her cheeks were pink, and she was bitting her bottom lip to keep from smiling as wide as she already was. “I _like_ you, too.”

“Yeah?” He almost giggled, he didn’t remember a time he had ever felt this kind of nervous before. But there was certain relief in it.

“But, it’s… all this happened, and there’s Milo, I…”

Of course. Hyde left her hand and pushed his glasses back to their place without saying a word. Jackie moved in response, her little fingers touched his face and caressed his cheek. So he looked up, she was smiling at him, even when there was a hint of fear on her face.

“I’m not taking him back.” She finally answered. After a few seconds, he nodded, blinking without knowing how to take any of what she was saying. “I just want a little discretion, Steven.” She said. “The only people who know about me and Milo are you, Fez, my dad, and my friends in the city. I haven’t even told Donna or Mrs. Forman.”

He understood then, and he also knew that he needed to tell her he had let her secret slip to Donna and Forman. Hyde wondered if she would get mad at him, or if she was too drugged to truly process anything that was happening.

And there, there it hit him. Was this real? Or was this just her pain and drugs talking?

Whatever it was—he nodded at her again and she moved his glasses, allowing herself to see his eyes—she was talking to him, man.

“Your eyes are impossibly blue…”

He almost lost her.

 She could tell him whatever and mean anything at all, it didn’t matter. If it was going to happen between them, he was willing to wait as much as she needed.

Like that time at his grandmother’s, he took off his glasses and she smiled. “That’s better…” She said again. He hooked them on the collar of his shirt and took her hand in his. “It’s… is that okay with you?”

Nodding, he kissed her hand and felt her body shiver after it. “Whatever you want, doll.”

“Thank you, Steven…” She smiled at him when he looked at her face. The bruises there were almost gone. Soon every bit of evidence of the accident would disappear, too and life would go back to normal. Except, this time, things could be different between them. And maybe now it would work out different, better. “There’s something else…”

“Yes?”

Her voice had sounded insecure. Whatever it was, was important enough for her to be scared to talk about it.

“What is it?” He murmured.

“It’s…” He bit her bottom lip gain, then licked it and sighed, looking into his eyes. “The little girl.”

“Huh?”

“Harley, Kat’s daughter.”

“Yeah. What about her?” He frowned.

“Well,” she laughed nervously, and she flipped her hair away with her free hand, “she asked me—she asked me if I could be her new mother.”

“Oh.” He frowned, this time more out of curiosity than of fear. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure.” She confessed. “I don’t even know if that’s possible, do you?” He shook his head, why didn’t this sound strange to him? Was it because of the drawings? The little girl calling him dad? “I’m not saying I want to, but— _I don’t know_. I’ve been thinking about it.”

Could it be—what if Kat had communicated something to her daughter the same way she had talked to Betsy? Hyde looked at Jackie as she tried to explain herself, but he couldn’t hear anything. He put a hand over his mouth, stopping himself from saying something stupid. Jackie wasn’t giving any signs that she remembered being a ghost and walking among them while her body lay still in the coma, he couldn’t just spring this all on her – she was still in recovery - these ideas and posibilities.

“I’m not saying—“ she said, then sighed and looked as confused as he was feeling. “I’m not saying I’m going to adopt her right now, or even if I’m going to _try_. It’s just… I feel like I’m meant to help her.”

He looked at her and nodded. “Why?”

“Well, she…” Jackie sighed. “Kat and I were never friends, you know that. But when I saw her in that bus, she was another person. She gave up everything she ever loved when we were kids for her daughter, and Steven—that little girl just lost her mother, forever. She’s never going to see Kat again.”

He nodded. Another kid in the world without parents, without a loving mother and a present father, just like them. He could understand her concern and connection. She related to Harley’s loss.

“I can’t stand that.” She said. The way she was frowning, Hyde knew there was no way to convince her otherwise. “I don’t want another kid in the world thinking the experiences she’s living through are unfair and not having a mother…” She sighed, there was so much worry in her voice, it made him feel in awe of her. “If there’s something I can do to help her, I want to try.”

“You want to adopt a little girl?” He laughed, out of nervousness, not some shitty thing.

“I’m not—I don’t know. Maybe. It’s a possibility.” She said firmly, not leaving a chance to question her. “So, Steven. Do you still _like_ me, even knowing that I may or may not adopt Harley or something of the like?”

That was a stupid question. “Yeah.” He answered. “You are crazy, but yes.”

“Good.”

******

_December 5, 1982. Fox Lake Correctional Institution, Wisconsin. 12:14 pm._

Mr. Burkhart looked exactly like he remembered from the last time, but there was certain kind of preoccupation in his face too and Hyde hoped he wouldn’t be put into an awkward situation after telling the man the news, as if this wasn’t already a little bit strange and uncomfortable.

He was still wondering why Jack Burkhart had wanted to talk to him and not anyone else. But the man sat down in front of him and he cleared his throat, waiting for the guard to finish with the handcuffs and go away.

When the he was ready, Mr. Burkhart spoke first. “Thank you for coming, son.” He nodded. “You don’t look dead, so I assume… it’s better news.”

Hyde smiled a little and nodded. “She woke up this morning.”

The way the other man’s body relaxed on the chair made him smile; that had been everyone’s reaction after hearing the news and he hoped Jackie knew that all the people at the hospital and this man in front him loved her dearly and only wanted her to be okay. This experience almost took her away from them, he was sure things were going to be different now.

“I haven’t seen her.” He commented, leaning towards the center of the table. “Doctor has been checking her constantly and everyone was desperate to see her, I figured I should be here to tell you…” He sighed. “She’s fine. She made it.”

Mr. Burkhart nodded, there was moisture at the corners of his eyes and Hyde said nothing. “My kitten has always been a fighter.” He said. “When she was a little girl, her cousins made her watch a horror movie, but she didn’t want to sleep in our room.” He remembered, Hyde smiled thinking of a little Jackie being brave all by herself. “So she built a fort in her room, and—“ The man moved his hands, like placing something in front of him. “And she put all her wild animal stuffed toys around, so they would protect her.”

He laughed with Jackie’s dad, the image was too endearing to not think of it and feel something. Jackie was always a source of amazement for him, it didn’t sound strange that her younger self would become the bravest kid on the block just because she was determined to be. Deep down, Jackie always knew how to take care of herself, she just needed a gentle push.

And even when life hadn’t always been gentle with her, she was alive, and he knew she was going to be okay.

“Please let her know I’m glad she’s awake and doing better. I hope she can be fully recovered soon…” He sighed. “And that, I hope she could come and visit some time. I would really like to see my kitten.”

Hyde nodded. A part of him always wondered why Mr. Burkhart called Jackie that name, kitten. In a way he could imagine why. Her small form when she was a little girl, the abundance of her dark hair, the largeness of her shining eyes. One freakin’ adorable kitten.

“You know…” The man sighed, Hyde blinked a couple of times. “Do you know what she will do? Where is she going to recover? Is she going back to New York?” He swallowed and looked up at him. “Is she taking Milo back? What is her plan now?”

“I don’t know, man.” He confessed. He hadn’t thought of any of that either. Damn. “I mean, she will be staying at the Forman’s for sure. Mrs. Forman will take care of her…” He paused, then continued saying, “Most of her life now is in New York. She stil has a job and school there, she’s been living with some friends, so I guess…” Mr. Burkhart nodded. “And I have no clue about Harrington.”

Neither of them said anything for a few moments. Mr. Burkhart observed him like he was trying to find the rest of his answers in Hyde’s expression. Hyde cleaned his sweaty hands on the denim of his pants and looked at Mr. Burkhart.

“Mr. Burkhart?” He called. The man met his gaze. “Why me? Harrington is there, too. And Red—But you asked for me… Why?”

“Well, Milo and my daughter aren’t together anymore. I figured it would be uncomfortable for both of us, and you have remained her friend, after the initial fallout of your break up.” True. Hyde sighed listening to that, crossing his arms over his chest. “And Red, I didn’t want to bother him.” He smiled. “He can be a scary guy if he wants to be.”

Hyde laguhed again, nodding. “Absolutely.”

“I always thought you were a good kid. And you kept your word and helped me with Robert, so—Here we are.”

“He we are.” Hyde nodded. Mr. Burkhart smiled at him, and he swallowed, not at all sure why he was going to say what he was about to. “I’m in love with your daughter.”

Mr. Burkhart’s eyebrows jumped up, almost meeting his hairline. “Oh, two big pieces of news in one day.”

Hyde nodded at him. “If she wants to, I want to be with her.” He said. “Years ago, I didn’t have a way to figure into her plans. But right now, I think I can do that. Including disappearing from her life, I can do that too.” He had started making patterns on the table again, Mr. Burkhart didn’t move at all, he just seemed to be thinking about this new information.

“Do you want my blessing or somehting?” He asked genuinely confused, Hyde smiled at him but shrugged. “You do!”

A part of him wanted to laugh at the sitution. It wasn’t exactly a blessing, it was just—doing what Jackie would like. In reality, he didn’t care if Jack Burkhart approved of his feelings for his daughter or not, but Jackie would love to know he had sought her father’s approval. And probably Mrs. Forman and Izzy, too.

“Well…” Mr. Burkhart started, nodding his head, still surprised. It seemed like Hyde was an expert in surprising Burkharts. “I would like to see my daughter happy.” He said with an honest smile. “I hope to see you soon, son.”

“I hope that, too, sir.”

******

_December 6, 1982. Point Place’s General Hospital – Waiting Area. 1:38 pm._

When he left the room, the first one to approache him was Angie and then Caroline. Both girls couldn’t stop asking him how it had gone and the overwhelming feeling of having his personal life displayed like a soap opera almost made him angry. But W.B. saved him from it, and dragged him along to where his grandmother waited with Mrs. Forman.

“I just met the loveliest woman in the world, Steven” Izzy said. “You told me she was an angel, but I must say, Kitty has become my new best friend!”

Hyde almost laughed at it but Mrs. Forman did it for him, both women looked genuinely enchanted by the other’s presence and it made him feel good, he knew they would each like the other when they met.

“Son,” his father called him and he looked back, “has this…?” He started but didn’t seem to find his words for the next question. After a few seconds he cleared his throat. “Has this changed your plan?”

The plan. Hyde shook his head and WB seemed pleased with that. He put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him, it was still something else that his father liked the idea of him fighting for Jackie as much as he did. It was odd, too, but in a good way. A good weird.

 “You didn’t have to come, you know?” Hyde told Izzy next, after his father sat down with Red and Ethan.

“What?” She looked at him almost in an offended way. “Not here for you, pretty boy. I’m here for Jackie!” She said. “Angie told me about the accident while she was in Chicago, she had the decency of calling. Not like you—“ She gestured at him and Hyde shook his head. “Who didn’t call at all.”

“Izzy—“

“Nothing.” She gestured again. “You didn’t call.”

“I’m sorry…” He gave in.

After a few seconds, Mrs. Forman took his attention. He looked at her and smiled, trying to understand her in awe expression.

“Honey, I need to ask you something. We haven’t talked about this for years, but…” Hyde nodded, blinking a couple of times. “Well, Jackie said you have a ring and that it’s hers. I didn’t know what to tell her, but—Do you still have that ring from… that one time?” She asked. Hyde blinked even more, moving and leaning towards her because this— _This_. “I know it’s not my business, but…”

“How does she know?”

“You have it?” Izzy asked at his side, looking at him with surprised eyes. “Mother of God, you are something…”

“I—“

“She just knew.” Mrs. Forman answered.

Santoro and June were walking towards him, but he had to stand. Because—Because if Jackie knew then—

“Steven!” Mrs. Forman called, but it was too late. He was already entering Jackie’s room.

******

_Jackie’s Room. 1:45 pm._

Steven had entered her room in a hurry, making her and Donna jump from their conversation about her wedding.

Both looked at him, asking in their own ways why he seemed to have seen a ghost and Jackie wrinkled her nose at the thought. She was still puzzling over the idea that she might have been one — as crazy as that sounded.

“Hyde, are you okay?” Donna voiced Jackie’s concern too.

“I—“ He walked towards them, taking off his sunglasses and hooking them on his shirt. “Donna, man. Give me a second with Jackie, please?”

Jackie’s body trembled at his tone. Her arms prickled with goosebumps and she almost grasped Donna’s hand to keep her from going. And it wasn’t that she was scared or something, it just was—

“Sure…”

Donna looked at her, asking with her eyes if she was fine with this. Jackie nodded. Whatever Steven wanted, it was important enough to him to let himself be seen uncomposed like this. She hoped for the best, while fearing the worst. At this point, she wasn’t sure what that could be anyway, but best, best, best.

As Donna walked to the door, Steven crossed over to her bed, slowly and carefully, not looking at her. He didn’t sit down, not even when the door closed behind him. Instead, he kneeled at her side, confession style, and looked up at her face.

“Jackie?” He called her and she looked down into his blue eyes. He seemed confused but determined. “Listen, I…”

Her hand moved almost of its own accord, she wasn’t acting conciously when she decided to touch his face softly. She always liked his face. He was beautiful, even if he never cared for the term, even if it wasn’t a word often used to discribe someone’s virtues.

She had to touch him, feel the smoothness of his cheek contrasted against the roughness of his sideburns. Her hand felt both sensations and the sensation it initiated in her body, it was something she held treasured within her. And now she was able to touch him again, feel him and be felt by him.

“I told your father something I haven’t told you.” He said, her eyes followed his voice to his lips and she wanted to kiss him.

God, she wanted him. All over her. In her arms, on her lips, between her thighs, with her. It was something she had missed feeling, and her fingers caressed his skin while he waited for her to react beyond her hypnosis with his face.

“What was it?” She murmured, she barely heard herself. But it seemed enough for Steven to continue speaking.

“I need to know something from you first.”

That woke her up from her strange fog of desire, but her hand didn’t leave his face. He had taken her free hand between his and they were cold. Steven was never cold, but today he was nervous and he wanted to speak. For the first time, he was the one willing to talk.

“Yes?” She said.

“You…” he looked away, from the way he licked his lips and moved his eyes to one side and then another, he was considering his options and thinking about what to say next. Finally, he looked back into her eyes. “You told Mrs. Forman about a ring—“

Her ring. From him. Jackie swallowed and nodded. This was it, she was going to know if her dreams had driven her crazy or maybe, she had actually experienced everything.

“Describe that ring.”

She felt her mouth dry, and swallowed again. She thought of the ring, of Steven holding it so Betsy could see it. Her, running behind him, yelling at him because he had lied to her when he returned from Las Vegas, because she had been stupid and had ruined her chances with him by acting dramatic with that Dear John letter.

“It’s big.” She laughed nervously, he nodded. “And beautiful…” Sighing, she prepared herself for the rest of it. She saw it in her mind’s eye. The ring was wonderful, it was a dream come true. “It has a very big pink rock in the middle. It’s… beautiful, it sparkles like my eyes!” He smiled and nodded, it made her feel—feel, that he thought so too. “Four small white diamonds at the sides, between them it has lines with four other, smaller diamonds.”

He didn’t respond, and she didn’t know what else to say. Whatever he wanted to know, maybe she didn’t have the right answer in her. Maybe she was nuts.

But his hand squeezed hers, his thumb caressed the skin of her knuckles and his silence didn’t scare her as it did years ago. After a few seconds, he kissed her hand and he saw him with his glasses on in a very dark room, kissing her hand. And then again, kissing her hand as he cried softly, silently.

“Steven?”

“What else do you remember, grasshopper?”

Her heart skipped a beat, then started to race almost to the point of hurting inside her ribcabe. He swallowed and a hard knot she hadn’t noticed had formed in her throat. When she blinked, tears disappeared from her eyes.

“I…” She started, “You talked to Kat.” He nodded, her heart skipped another beat, then continued the furious cacophony. “Betsy… you showed Betsy the ring. And you two helped Harley. You talked to that idiot, Drake?” He wasn’t looking at her, but he nodded again.

She continued sharing small pieces of what she had experienced while sleeping. She should be freaking out, Jackie knew this perfectly well. She knew she sounded crazy and Steven should already be calling for the doctors and a straight jacket.

But he was silent, nodding when she mentioned things that concerned him or that he seemed to have been present to know about. After a few minutes, she went silent, and the whole room seemed lighter. It was her, she felt thin and light, free of the fear that had been consuming her since the day before.

“You were here.” Steven said. His voice sounded deep, as if he hadn’t spoken in days. Jackie’s skin filled with goosebumps. “You really were here…”

“Steven?”

He looked up at her, there was another question in his eyes and before he could voice it, her heart answered him. “I heard you… before I woke up.”

Steven nodded, he swallowed visibly and she wanted to kiss him even more. Her hand moved over his face, caressing his cheek, the shape of his nose, and his lips. He kissed her fingers and Jackie smiled at the contact.

“I’m in love with you.” She admited. It felt just right. “Steven, I love you.”

He closed his eyes at her words, he was shying away from her and she wanted to pull him to her face, not let him go, but he stopped himself first. When he opened his eyes, they shone brighter than she ever remembered and yes, this was him.

This was the Steven who had defended her even without knowing her at the pool. This was the Steven who took her to prom, who had called her ‘doll’ in her daddy’s Lincoln, the one who had kissed her deeply and intimately for the first time in her life on the hood of that car.

Who held her and stayed with her all the time during their dates in the summer, who never pestered her for sex, who did his best to support her when her father was taken, who had forgiven her for her stupid mistakes, who loved her more than she loved herself.

This was the boy she had falled in love years ago, the one she had lost. And now he was the man she had fallen for, so easily and so simply; this was her Steven.

“I love you, doll…” He said, his voice was tender and soaked in sweetness. The security of his tone and the firmness of his voice made her shiver. He craddled her face gently as he stood, putting one knee on her hospital bed, his eyes never leaving hers. “I love you so much.”

His lips took hers. The taste of him hadn’t changed in all these years, the sweetness of his too sugary coffee was still on his tongue, and she accepted it all, getting her fingers lost through his soft curls and the length of his back. The warmth of him shielded her from the small shocks of emotion travelling through her body, all of her responding to him, welcoming him back into her system.

Steven kissed her differently every time, and every way made her wish she could stay in his arms, kiss him forever. Today was no exception, and Jackie enjoyed the way his lips moved over hers, his tongue played with hers until there was no more breath the other could take from them.

Their separation didn’t last long; she pulled him down, and kissed him again and again, until her ribs begged for relief, the pain making her realize she had guided him almost on top of her, and he was being careful not to touch her side. But now, her face contorted in pain and he noticed, slowly letting her go with a worried expression.

“Jackie…”

“I’m okay, just…” She touched her side, then looked at him. “I’m sorry, Steven…”

He shook his head, lying on the bed on his side. It looked incredibly uncomfortable, the way most of his body was actually out of the bed, but he put an arm under her head and she cuddled herself to him. She had missed him. She had missed him for far too long.

“So…” There was something she still wanted to know. “Does that mean… you wanted to marry me?”

“I _want_ to marry you.” He corrected and her fingers grabed the material of his shirt, not sure of how to react. “Later…” He kissed her head, over her hair and she looked up at his face. His fingers tocuhed the tip of her nose and she gazed at him in wonderment. “In the future.”

A smile appeared on her face. Jackie was sure it must be wide, her cheeks hurt from it, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“Even if…” She swallowed. “Even if I decide to take Harley in?”

“Kid already calls me dad, so…” He sighed, trying to look aloof. But she could see the insecurity and fear in his face. “Why not make it official?”

“That simple?”

He didn’t answer at first, he must have realized she knew how he was feeling. But he looked right into her eyes, and what she found in his took her breath away.

“No, not that simple…” He admitted. “I don’t even know if I could make a good father. Hell, I don’t even know if I want kids…” He sighed. “But you?” His fingers went through her hair, caressing between the locks in such a soft motion, she couldn’t help but sigh at it happily. “You’ll be one hell of a mom. In the good way.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure, man.” He kissed her forehead. “I would try my best. I can do it, if you are with me.” Her heart jumped joyfully, making an explosion inside her stomach, the most endearing kind of fireworks announced Steven’s official arrival in her heart again. “We’ll get there.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know…” He seemed embarrassed, but he wasn’t shuting down like he used to. “To be happy together, make sure our kiddies are happy, grow old and cranky together. That kinda stuff.”

“Oh, Steven!” She moved to hug him, but her ribs made her cry out in pain and he slipped out of the bed.

“That’s it, you are not moving anywhere.” He said, helping her get back into the position that the doctor had told her to stay in. “Man, you are going to be a pain in the ass while you heal…”

She nodded, she was already tired of being in bed all the time. “Do you think you can deal with that?”

It meant more than her healing period, more than her broken leg and ribs. Steven looked up at her and smiled, wide and bright, letting her know he was, in fact, _that_ perfect to her.

“I’ll freakin’ enjoy it, doll.”

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Epilogue. More than six months later, some things have changed.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


	22. Where She Went

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue. More than six months later, some things have changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, last chapter of this story. Thank you SO much to everyone who has read this story, even to the silent ones, because you are all the reason I got here. Thanks for the comments, the favorites and follows, the kudos and bookmarks at AO3. Everything. It has been a fun journey.
> 
> Back at my blog, next week, I’ll be doing the ‘Writing Lab’ for this story. It’s a day I dedicate to talk about my writing progress with the story in question, in this case, ‘Heart Like Yours’, and to answer questions readers may have about the story or the writing. So if you have anything to comment or ask about the story, I’ll be happy to answer your questions!
> 
> Thank you ALL for your support of all kind, I appreciate it a lot. Thanks to RuffianHyde and NannyGirl for their help in this chapter, and their support. Thank you for the support too to MistyMountainHop, I wouldn’t had done it without you. To leonacastellanos and hydejackies for their constant comments and kind words. Thank you all, thank you.
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/159095132020/heart-like-yours-chapter-xxii-where-she-went) to support me! Thank you!

Harley ran to the nearest tree with glee, her happy laugh filled Jackie’s mind as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the morning bliss of spring in the city.

The grass was fresh, somehow it made the feeling of their picnic blanket better than it would have felt in an afternoon with the summer warming the air around them. She had put everything they used back in her basket and was now observing the way the clouds moved, the laughs and giggles acting like a lullaby for her heart.

Not many people walked the park this early on a week day, but there was enough sound to remind her of where she was and why. She loved this city almost as much as she loved home. It had become part of her, and she had come back to finish what she started and to make a life of her own.

“Mamaaaa!” Harley called between giggles, running towards her.

Her eyes were always happy, shining like Christmas with a warm touch of softness; they lit up her entire face when she was playing, just like Steven’s did when he was genuinely enjoying himself, present and happy, whole, in the moment.

“Run, baby!” She answered her call and the girl giggled. “Uh-oh! He’s coming, he’s coming!”

“Noooo!” Harley looked back and spotted Steven hiding behind the tree she had touched just a few seconds before. “Who gets to Mama first wins!” And she started to run to her again.

Steven was running behind her now. He could catch her easily, but he let her keep her lead and Jackie smiled, opening her arms for her little girl to run into. She was the base, safety, for their tag game. And maybe in some other way, too.

Jackie liked to think they felt this in her arms. Safe as she felt in Steven’s, as Harley certainly felt in his.

“Aaaaah!” Harley ran directly into her arms at the same time Steven caught up and both tackled Jackie down to the picnic blanket between laughs. “Stop! Stop! You are making me into mashed potatoes! _Mashed Harleotato_!”

“What?” Steven asked incredulously, his laugh filling Jackie’s ears as he left himself fall into the blanket, laughing like a kid at Harley’s words.

“Don’t laugh!” Harley jumped onto his chest, her tiny hands trying to shut his mouth but Steven kept laughing, barely registering what was happening around him beyond the _‘Mashed Harleotato’_. “Daddy!”

Steven sat up, carrying Harley with him until she was sitting on his lap. Their hair was messy; she even had a few leaves stuck between her pig-tails and Jackie started to pull them free, until Steven’s hand caressed her face and cradled her cheek tenderly.

“Hey.” He said and Jackie looked at him with a smile. “You okay?”

“Yeah…” She sighed contentedly. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

His lips agreed with her, the softness of his kiss still amazed her to this day and her heart filled with bliss, following the rhythm his mouth had chosen for them. Slowly, the warmth of the park chilled, and there wasn’t any grass under her but water around, and the smell of the coffee liquid soap Noah had brought her from Guatemala.

She had been dreaming again, only this time, the kiss was real, and so was Steven in her arms.

 **Heart Like Yours**  
Epilogue  
Where She Went

_July 28 th, 1983. Jackie’s apartment, New York City. 7:28 pm._

If he didn’t stop kissing her like this, they would make a mess of their bath, and what was sexy and intimate was going to end up gross, but probably with a lot of laughter, too.

He looked at her with the hint of a smile, sighing before readjusting his position to lay his head on her shoulder. Jackie crossed her arms around his neck and caressed his wet chest after sighing happily.

Taking a bath together was something she had always dreamed of when they were first together. But of course, back in Point Place, none of them had a bath, let alone the money to afford a place with one.

“So, what was it about?” Steven asked, the weight of his body against her was making her feel dizzy in a good way.

“What, baby?”

Right now, Jackie wouldn’t have had a bath either but this was her mother’s way of saying she loved her and was thinking about her even while in Romania with a man twice her age, but ten times richer.

“You were daydreaming just a few seconds ago. What was it about now?”

At first, she wanted to refuse her mother's offer, but then the process of Harley’s adoption began and her lawyer made her see that she would have better chances if she had not only her job, but a place of her own she could demonstrate was suitable for the little girl.

Pamela got Valentine to pay for it, and Jackie didn’t have time to feel bad after remembering her mother had only visited her at the hospital once and then at the Forman's twice. Nowadays, Pam Burkhart called from time to time, just to check on her civil situation and ask if she was completely sure about adopting ‘that poor thing’, as she called Harley.

Like that, hanging up the phone with her shoulders tense, Jackie didn’t mind her three room apartment in goddamn New York, near one of the best schools of the city.

“Oh, you noticed?” She laughed. “How did you know?”

“Hey, I know my chick.” He turned around slowly, making water splash out of the tub. “Are you nervous about that letter?”

“A little…” She admitted, but the whole of her attention was on his eyes.

He leaned towards her, his bigger body was almost covering hers, making her sink deeper into the tub. His lips finally took hers, and Jackie put a hand on his neck, caressing his cheek with her thumb. But before her hair could touch the water, she leaned over, making him sit back on the tub with her on his lap.

“I had a dream last night.” She confessed, caressing his face with the fingers of both hands. “About us, and Harley.”

“What did you see?”

She moved over him, slowly thrusting her hips against his and he let out a half moan, half laugh. The smirk on his face made her lick her lips before kissing him deeply, her tongue caressing his as her fingers danced between his curls. Soon he was hard between her legs and she bit his bottom lip softly before looking into his eyes.

“I think it will be fine.” She said. “They will say yes.”

He nodded, his fingers were making patterns over the skin of her left side. Steven’s other hand undid the bun in her hair - she had been trying to keep it dry for a hair treatment she wanted to do - but Jackie found herself not minding her hair dampened by his fingers.

“You know…” She murmured, looking at his lips as he started to move with her in his arms. “If in the future you… if you want to, you can adopt her too. Later.”

“Uhm.”

Like many times before, he wasn’t a man with many words, but he lifted her and Jackie rounded his hips with her legs, already smiling with the prospect of what was about to happen. Steven kissed her hard before he carried her out of the bathroom to her bed.

They were making a mess of the bed sheets and there would be water everywhere on the floor, but his kisses and hands over her body were enough to make her ignore it all.

“Baby…” She called when he suddenly stopped, Steven was looking at her with doubt in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“When is the letter supposed to be coming?”

“Between today and Friday.” She sat down on the bed, her legs between his open legs. “Why?”

“Let’s hope it's soon.” He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her softly. “I have to go to Kenosha, I haven’t been around in months.”

“Oh…”

“If the letter comes before that, I’ll be with you when you pick her up.”

Her smile brightened. “Steven,” she started. This was something she wanted to tell him for a while by now. “You know you don’t have to keep traveling, right?”

“Uhm?”

“You haven’t been in Wisconsin since I moved here.” She said, her eyes followed the fair hair of his chest to his abdomen and down the line of hair on his belly, the natural V that formed there still made her smile and her hand took hold of his erection gently, making him close his eyes and smile at the contact. “You live here, with me.”

“Yeah…” He made her lay down on the bed, putting his hands to the sides of her head, and looked right into her eyes. Jackie didn’t stop the movements of her hand. “I do.”

“So…?”

He smiled, then pecked at her lips and let out a soft moan. “Want to make it official?”

“Yes.” She smiled, he kissed her smile with hunger, and celebration for this new level of their relationship that had begun.

******

_July 30, 1983. Jackie and Hyde’s Apartment, New York City. 11:12 am._

Jackie’s high pitched scream almost made him drop everything in his hands.

She was standing in front of the door, their mail on the floor and her entire body was shaking. Hyde ran towards her, covering her shoulders with his hands, trying to see her face. But in her expression there was only shock, a hint of happiness flickered in the shine of her eyes and he finally looked down at her hands.

It was the damn letter from the foster care agency where Harley Peterson was assigned in Kenosha after her aunts had been rejected for her official adoption. Big in red, capital letters, was the word ‘Approved’ and that was it, Jackie had become almost a mother.

“Grasshopper?”

When she had first asked him about it, he had still been in the grateful state of having her back from that coma.

A part of him wasn’t truly absorbing any of the adoption possibility, and he was sure she wasn’t either. Neither mentioned it after, just like they didn’t start ‘officially’ dating until she was out of the Forman's house by the end of January, and back in New York for school and work, and other duties. No one was surprised, but also no one commented about what other people might think about her moving in with another man so soon after breaking her engagement.

She didn’t give a shit now, and it had amazed him almost as much as it amazed her when, still scared shitless, she announced to him that she was trying to adopt Harley.

That had been almost five months ago.

“Steven—Steven!” She shoved the letter to his chest, and he took it, waiting for her to say something other than his name. “They—it says yes! It says yes!”

Jackie jumped in front of him with a big smile. Her face was red and her eyes were shining with tears of happiness, and he had to hold her, let her know he understood her decision and accepted it, that this was, in fact, a happy moment not only for her.

“Oh, my  God!” She stopped yelling and jumping. Her hand had gone directly over her mouth, and her eyes were wide open. “Steven… Steven, I’m going to be a mom…”

He had to laugh at that, his hand travelled up her face and his fingers laced into her morning hair. She was beautiful at every hour, in every moment, but when she had just woken up, late and lazy like him, she was at her best. Smiling, Hyde kissed her nose and nodded.

“You’re going to be a great mom.”

“How do you know?” There was panic in her voice and Hyde prepared himself for the next round of insecurity and little arguments. “What if it’s not enough? What if Harley hates being here?”

“She’s not—“

“What if this is not what Kat wanted? Is she going to come down at night and scare me in my sleep for making her kid miserable? Steven, I can’t have a ghost in the house with Harley here!”

“Jackie…” He was laughing already, Hyde bit the inside of his cheek to stop it. She didn’t need this right now, what she needed was soothing, so he caressed her back in circular motions and waited for her to normalize her breathing. “Hey, Jackie. Listen to me—“

“STEVEN!” Her hands grabbed his arms, the alarm in her face made him swallow. “Steven, you just moved here… I—“ She blinked a couple of times, her face was looking pale and Hyde didn’t like it, he didn’t like it at all. “This is going too fast, isn’t it?”

“No—“ He swallowed. “Maybe, yes—“

“Please, don’t freak out!” She gasped frantically, and he arched an eyebrow at the irony. “I don’t want you to think—But I want—Harley, I want Harley to be happy, to be here. And I want you here, too. It’s just…”

Her entire body was trembling and her almost tangible fear was floating around them, the real ghost she couldn’t allow in the house now that they were—they were going to be parents. She just didn't seem to understand that he was serious when he said he was okay with it.

“You’re not alone, you know?” He started, in part to remind himself about the fact. “I’m here…”

That little girl, Harley, she deserved a good home. If he and Jackie could give it to her, so be it. But maybe Jackie needed to hear it from him, he wasn’t going anywhere. The boy he used to be, who would run away from being an adult, was long gone. And while this wasn't an ideal situation, he embraced every aspect of his life with her.

Because there’s no other place he'd rather be, no other person he would rather be with.

“Jackie, I’m not going anywhere. Okay?” He pushed her hair behind her ear, a few tears had escaped her eyes and he wanted to kiss them away. But talk, he needed to talk too. “Remember what I said before? I want to be with you, and I want Harley too.”

“Really?” Her voice sounded so small, it almost made him chuckle. But she was smiling, and that was everything that mattered.

“We are going to be parents.” He kissed her forehead. “Weren’t we getting ready for that since you applied?”

“Yeah…” She sighed.

Jackie moved in front of him, cuddling her head to his chest and putting her arms around his waist. He hugged her back, sighing and maintaining his cool as best as he could. It wasn't like this didn’t terrify him, it freakin’ did.

Being a father was something that had never crossed his mind before—but he also knew that it was going to be a possibility with Jackie. Once more, their future was happening sooner than they thought. But this time, he knew they would go wherever they needed to. Together.

“I’m scared.” She murmured.

Hyde swallowed and nodded, putting his chin over her head gently. “Me too, man.” He sighed. “But I rather be scared with you than anywhere else.”

She giggled against his chest and yeah, that was a good saying. Jackie moved a little, looking up at him with a big smile. “I love you, too.”

He kissed her forehead again.

******

_August 2, 1983. Central Park, New York City. 8:23 am._

“You know, I’ve been thinking…” Bruce said and Jackie looked at him yawning. They were walking through the park, passing the time until Steven arrived home and they could pick him up. “You like doing everything backwards.”

Jackie frowned at that. “What do you mean?”

“Well…” He smiled at her, anticipating his own joke. “First the house, or in this case, the apartment—“

“Are you ever going to shut up about that?” He shook his head, she rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. “It’s a gift! A gift! One doesn’t just say no to an apartment!”

“From a man you don’t like?”

“Come on!” The details of how she got the apartment were kind of dirty, she knew it. Her mother had wanted her to go to Romania with her, Jackie had refused every offer until Valentine offered to pay for the apartment she needed. And well… here she was. “You know, I did it for—“

“I know, I know.” He answered. “I’m just messing with you, Jacque.”

“It makes it easier…” She sighed. “If I have my own place, and they see I can afford it myself and still have money for services, food and myself, they will see I can raise Harley well.”

“Yeah, it’s not as if they don’t also check your head.”

“Bruce!”

He was laughing again, getting too much enjoyment out of her situation. But Bruce was, aside from Steven, probably the only one who was actually fine with her decision, who didn’t think her out of her mind and who truly supported her. Sighing, Jackie give up to her own laugh and they stopped walking at the green light of the street.

“How’s your boyfriend taking it?” He asked after a small silence.

“You know him and you saw him yesterday at dinner,” she looked at him, “you tell me.”

“He is freaked out.”

He was. And there was nothing she could do about it. She had been clear about the possibility of this happening, she gave him another chance to leave if he couldn’t handle all of this when she moved to her apartment, but Steven had smiled at her and helped her with the moving and the forms she had to fill out for Harley’s adoption.

She couldn’t help but smile, she was as freaked out too. But Jackie was sure of his feelings towards her and towards their future daughter. If they were going to make a mistake, at least she wanted it to be theirs and not just another ‘what if’ in the list they let go of so many years ago.

But in fact, there was something telling her this wasn’t the case. This was not a mistake. None of it was.

“But,” Bruce said, taking her arm to cross the street. They walked side by side with his fingers gently rounding her arms, “it’s not in a bad way. Angie thinks the same.”

“You know?” She had to look at him, just for a few seconds, with a frown on her face. “He’s not sure if he likes you seeing his sister.” He giggled like a little kid, she sighed. “What do you mean?” Jackie murmured.

“It’s normal to be freaked out about something like this—“

“Oh, I know—“

“But I don’t think he’s freaked out about… this. It’s something more.”

Without another word, she waited for him to open the door of his car. He was driving her to pick up Steven at the airport, and there was no rush for the conversation.

Yes, she had noticed Steven had been weird with this whole situation, and she understood why. She would be, too in his place. His girlfriend, with whom he had only been for a few months, had decided to adopt an almost four year old little girl none of them had blood relation to. This could be a relationship killer if they weren’t careful. If she wasn’t careful.

But he had accepted it since day one, his sudden nervousness was making her suspicious and Jackie hated herself just a little for it. Steven was the person she trusted the most, one of the only three people who knew about her experiences while in the coma.

Steven knew every bit of information from that time that had returned to her, he must understand why this was so important for her, why Harley had become so important. He was at peace with the situation, she knew this, she could see it in his eyes and the way he had helped her with getting all her papers and dates with the agency organized before leaving to meet with his father.

If there was something else…

“It would be easier for you to adopt Harley if you were married.” Bruce told her. Jackie looked at him with a frown. “Hyde said that.”

“What?”

Bruce looked as lost as she felt, but kept driving without seeing the flurry of emotions her face was going through.

“That’s what he said.” Bruce murmured.

“Damn.” Jackie crossed her arms over her chest and breathed in and out five times before speaking again. “I told him that about three weeks ago, but I didn’t mean—Oh, God. Bruce, do you think he thought I was trying to pressure him into marrying me… again?”

“You know, every time you say _again_ , I have to swallow my laugh.” She narrowed her eyes, angry at him. Bruce only smiled. “Listen, Jacque…  I don’t know the couple you two were years ago, but I know who you two are together right now. And I know Hyde now, not the kid you met.”

“And the point is?”

“The point is that you are going to shut up while I’m talking.” They both laughed, he stopped at a red light and sighed. “It’s not that, he won’t… he won’t lose his shit if you wanna talk about it, not now.” He nodded at her. “At the hospital, didn’t he told you he did want to marry you ?”

“So then what could it be?” She frowned again.

“Maybe he agrees with you.” He said, but there was something in his voice that told her he was sure of this. “Jackie, he’s becoming a dad with you.”

“I’m the one making the adoption, Bruce…”

“He lives with you.” His eyebrows were high, almost greeting his hairline and Jackie swallowed. “I mean, I know it’s not official, but he spends more time here than he does in Wisconsin. Hell, until yesterday, he hadn’t been there in what? Two months?”

She sighed. “Four.”

“Four!”

“I mean—“ She wanted to laugh, Bruce’s expressions were too much. “He has been there! We have been there, but… we go visit and he comes back here, with me.” A frustrated sound left her throat, Bruce was right. “God! I... We should have filled out the papers as a couple!” Bruce arched an eyebrow. “We are _officially_ living together, we decided just a few days ago…”

“Oh, that’s great! Congratulations!”

She pouted, Bruce laughed and continued driving when the light changed. “Didn’t you just tell me you agree he has been weird?”

“Well…” He sighed, as though thinking about what to say next. “Fill out the papers as a couple… Maybe that’s why he’s acting strange!”

“Oh, come on!”

He shrugged. The car went silent after that, her face was going to get wrinkles after this conversation with how much she was frowning. Jackie couldn’t help it, her relationship with Steven had been stable and fantastic. They had spent the first month denying to everyone they were together again, until she came back to New York.

They visited each other until she stopped travelling and he started to stay for long periods of time with her, and right after that, he had moved to her apartment. Their apartment. He had paid the electric and gas services just last week, it was his apartment too.

“See why I say you do everything backwards? First the house, then the kid, at the end the husband.”

“Shut up and drive!”

“ _Ta’ bien, ta’ bien.”_

But stupid Bruce was right, even with his stupid Spanish expressions and his mocking smile and tone. Maybe Steven had seen this before her, maybe that was why he was acting so strange about it, even when she could feel he was actually fine and _happy_ with how their life had turned out.

He had a special place in his heart for Harley. The little girl called her ‘mama’, a way to distinguish her from Kat. And she called Steven ‘daddy’ as she had been doing since they met. They were going to be her parents in less than a week, and she couldn’t afford to be obsessing over what Steven was not telling her. Not anymore.

“Should I ask him?” Jackie murmured, they were getting closer to the JFK Airport. “If he wants me to apply again, but as a couple?”

Bruce frowned. “You can do that?”

“I don’t know…” She sighed. “No, I don't think so… I think only married or soon-to-be couples can.”

He nodded. “Just talk to him, ask him if he’s nervous about it. Jacque,” he sighed and looked at her for a few seconds, “stop trying to guess with him, stop toying with your relationship. Ask him all you want or need to know, talk to him. You aren’t a kid anymore.”

Bruce was right.

******

_John F. Kennedy Airport, New York City. 10:13 am._

The sight of so many people had become familiar in the last six months. His travels had become part of him and, in a way, he was tired. All his things were in this city, he had to carry a damn suitcase for every time he needed to go back to Wisconsin, to take some kind of care of his store there.

But it was just—ridiculous, at this point. Most of his time was spend at NY’s store and controlling everything at the other store was a shared job with Angie, and she always took care of numbers and people, he was only there to be the brains behind every idea.

Hyde sighed, walking as fast as he could to the baggage claim to grab his shit and get the hell out of there. The noisy people gave him a headache and he hadn’t seen Jackie in what felt like a week even though it had only been a few days.

Angie needed him for a few meetings with possible sellers, she wanted another store in another city in Wisconsin and his name on the store forced him to be available to her for these things. Besides, the distraction was needed, the idea that he and Jackie were moving too fast had had him on edge since the day she got that letter.

Soon his chick was going to be a mom, and what did that make him? They lived together, he had helped her with cleaning and dressing when she couldn’t move much because of her broken leg and ribs after the accident, and she had trusted him with her supernatural experience while in the coma.

He was going to be a dad, too.

The conveyor belts moved slowly, but he saw his suitcase, a black thing Jackie had bought for him, saying he was a ‘business man’ now and needed a respectable bag for his crap, coming behind the box for a stroller, and really, whoever was out there needed to be more subtle.

“Thanks,” a girl said at his side when he helped her take her bag.

Hyde walked to his own and pulled it free from the belt, finally able to meet Jackie and Santoro outside. But a redhead stumbled against his chest and she would have fallen if he hadn’t caught her by the arm before it happened. She laughed it out, making her apologies and walking to the stroller box.

“Let me—“ He told her, moving to help her with it. The damn thing was heavy, but he managed to get it to the ground and the woman at his side laughed again. “Here you go.”

“Thank you!” She said, her smile was bright and warm. It made him smile in response. “Really,” she patted gently on his chest, over his heart, “thank you a lot.”

“Uh,” he felt awkward, but smiled anyway, “it’s nothing.”

The woman walked away, not before smiling at him with a brightness in her eyes. She didn’t seem to have any problem carrying the box by herself and he started to walk outside, too. In the crowd, she disappeared as he did, too until he reached the gates and saw Jackie happily waving at him with her arm, and Santoro smiling with his hands in his pockets.

After passing the security gates, Jackie ran towards him and they hugged. Letting his suitcase drop to the floor, Hyde cradled her face in his hands and kissed her, long and deep, as he had missed her these past days.

“How was the flight?” Santoro asked when they pulled away after another three or four kisses, finally walking to the entrance to go home. “Yeez, you look like dead.”

“Shut your trap and walk.”

Santoro laughed as he always did. The guy was annoying as fuck, but his easy humor was also amusing to him. He had become his friend, somehow, as he had always been nice to him and was a great friend to Jackie. Hyde had no objections against the man.

His only problem was how much he asked about Angie. If he did so once more, Hyde wasn’t sure if he could distract himself enough to not frog him in the shoulder.

“Are you okay, baby?” Jackie asked at his side, Hyde smiled at her. “I’ve missed you.”

“Uhm, nothing to worry about.” He sighed. “I actually got something for you.”

“Really?” She seemed excited, the change of her worried expression to a happy one was welcomed. “Like, a present?”

“Sort of.”

“Oh, what is it?” She said excitedly. He laughed and shook his head. “Oh, come on. Puddin’, please…” She pouted. “I don’t like surprises!”

“You’ll like this one.”

“Steven!”

While at home, he had not only seen Angie and attended to their business together. He had seen W.B., too. And he had the chance to talk to his father. Nowadays, his advice was to him as vital as Red Forman’s and after hearing what his dad thought of his situation and the decision he had arrived at during this trip, he felt much better.

“No matter what you do, man. I’m not telling you.”

“Oh, Steven!” She pouted again and Hyde had to smile, lacing his fingers with hers and walking behind a laughing Santoro.

Hopefully, this was something she would truly love.

******

_August 3, 1983. Jackie and Hyde’s Apartment, New York City. 5:19 pm._

Going through her papers for the third time, Jackie found she had put Steven’s in a different folder from the one she had chosen since the beginning. This is why you double and triple check your stuff before leaving them in the suitcase.

Tomorrow they were going to Wisconsin, hopping they would get to hold Harley and call her theirs, finally.

When she got the letter with her approval, she didn’t waste a second in filling out the forms for Harley’s official adoption in Kenosha. The lady taking care of her case back there was ready with the first one she needed to present, the ones she filled months before getting the letter, just so they could make the process shorter.

Jackie was lucky the agency was on her side, all wanting what was best for Harley. They had asserted their influences to not put her in a foster home, knowing most foster parents ended up adopting the kids in their care.

A part of her thought maybe there was something more in there, that maybe the redheaded woman who helped her with filling out the forms on the first day wasn’t just some random stranger, but an actual angel. Someone who wanted Harley to have a home with her and Steven.

She had never told this to him, but if she did, he would have probably thought it real too. Jackie had never seen that secretary again, and she was almost afraid of asking about her in the agency.

“Okay, so…” She took a fourth look at the folder with her papers.

All in order. Then she moved to Steven’s; all right in there, too. And finally, she took a look at the letter once again and sighed, closing her eyes and hugging it to her chest.

“Kat…” She murmured. “If you are out there, send me sign so I can know you are alright with this. Tell me this is right…”

Opening her eyes, Jackie noticed the brightness of her dining room and the silence of her apartment. Steven was taking a shower, and she was waiting for him to do a quick rehearsal for their interview tomorrow.

She had told Sally, their social worker, about him and that he had moved in with her. She was already approved to adopt, and everyone at agency knew she would get Harley easily between the standards of this process, so there wasn’t really a problem. Only that, in this case, he had to be in the interview and present his information.

This was a kid’s life they were talking about, after all.

Nothing happened next. A part of her was a little disappointed, but nothing more had happened after her experience in the hospital, and the other part of her was absolutely glad about it.

“Hey,” Steven entered the room, yawning with his hair still a little wet, “still checking those? Give it a rest, Jackie. Obsessing about it’s not gonna make it easier.”

“I know, it’s just…” She sighed. “Steven, I’m so nervous!”

“It’s gonna be fine.” He kissed her head and looked at the folders in their table.

“Yeah…” She sighed, looking as he took one of the forms she hadn’t filled in yet. “Steven, I need to talk to you…” She had been ignoring this conversation and every time she wondered what was on his mind, she could hear Bruce’s voice telling her the solution was to stop dancing around it and just ask.

But he was serious already, looking at—“What’s that?”

He was referring to a form she had asked for, just in case. Tomorrow, once they were sure they would be getting Harley home soon, she was going to ask the girl about it. Her birthday was in less than a week, and Jackie wanted her to be full of family love. And maybe she would like this.

Either way, whatever she decided, Jackie was fine with that. Even if she wasn’t sure if asking this to an almost four years old was actually a good idea.

“You want to change the kid’s name?” He didn’t sound surprised, but Jackie’s heart jumped in her chest anyway.

“No… I mean, if she wants to. Then, yes. Sally suggested it.” She sighed. “But it’s only in case, if Harley wants to.”

Steven took the paper and read every space she had filled, then showed her the one she hadn’t. it was where the new name should be, and Jackie swallowed before looking up at him.

“If she wants to, what are you suggesting for her to be called?”

“Well… I don’t want to take Kat’s place, you know?” She made herself to look at him, be as strong as she could and honest, too. “So I was thinking, she can have her whole name. Just add… ‘Burkhart’.”

He nodded, sitting at her side in the chair next to hers. She couldn’t read his expression, he was going all Zen and she wondered if he was doing it on purpose or it was just his natural reaction.

“Harley Jane Peterson-Burkhart. It doesn’t sound bad, right?”

But he didn’t shake his head or agree with her. Instead, he moved to the ground, kneeling at her side and leaving the paper in front of her. Steven put an arm around her waist, nesting it on her belly, then smiled up at her.

“You want to call our kids Burkhart?”

“What?”

“Harley Jane Peterson-Hyde.” He said, patting at the blank space on the paper. “Why don’t you leave this one…” he looked at her and moved his leg, flexing it to be kneeling on only one knee. His arm was no longer around her and her eyes registered the image in front of her, making her mouth fall open a little. “Until the day we sign the one paper this will give us?”

A flash of pink and white make her almost jump from her seat. He had her ring in front of her, the one he had been carrying with him for the longest time and that Kat had helped him get back after he'd thought it lost forever. Like her, here it was now, accomplishing its original task.

“Steven…?”

“Shhh…” He smiled. “I bought this ring years ago, I almost sold it and bought another one, but…” He moved it between his fingers and smiled wide and loving, looking at her with all that made him the man she loved. “I lost it for a while, because I was lost too. And I thought I would never see it again, that you were going to never know it existed.” He swallowed. “Not many people have this many chances, Jackie. And I’m not gambling on anymore. You are it for me, and I want to be with you as long as you want me—“

“Yes.”

He smiled. “Let me finish, woman… You make me happy. And—“

“Yes!”

“And,” he laughed, she was already trying to get this over with because God, Oh God, this was happening! “I know this is important to you, and if this makes you—“

“YES, yes, yes!”

“Jackie, would you ma—“

“YES, STEVEN, YES!”

“...rry me?”

“YES!”

Soon they were almost on the floor, since she had thrown herself at him, kissing him hungrily and in love, wanting him right there and right _now_. She was smiling into their kiss and she was crying, all happy tears she thought she would never cry for him again.

“Is this the surprise you had for me?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Sort of? Did it work for you?”

Jackie laughed, nodding happily before kissing him again, the ring forgotten between them. Slowly, he moved his hand to grab hers, caressing her fingers before she let him go and looked at their hands between them.

“This looks even bigger…” He laughed, the ring was almost all the way on her finger and when it was done, Jackie looked at it with a big smile. “There it is…”

“What?” She looked at him, then again at her finger.

“You’re shining.”

Steven, he always had it in him. That force and capacity to make her feel like she always thought she was: the most beautiful, the most lucky, the most loved woman in the world. And maybe she was, really. In his arms, she was everything. If she was happy and shining, it was because that’s how he made her feel.

The cold of the ring around her finger gave only warmth to her heart, and it jumped to her kiss when she needed him again and again, until there was only them.

******

_August 10, 1983. Social Service’s Office, Adoption Center – Kenosha, Wisconsin. 12:27 pm._

If Jackie kept moving her leg like she was, Hyde was going to end up dizzy, since his eyes didn’t have anywhere else to rest, it seemed.

She was damn nervous, even when her ring shone like the freakin’ son in summer and everyone around them assured them they were bringing Harley home today.

“Jackie?” He kissed her neck, she stopped the tick in her leg and he smiled at her when she looked up. “It’s okay, baby.”

“Don’t you think they are taking too long?”

“You know these things take a while…”

She frowned, all this process was making her more agitated and he understood why. He smiled at her anyway, kissing her lips gently and letting her dominate the kiss, making it almost sloppy. He was playing with the ring on her finger, slowly caressing her skin with it. It was a weird thing to see, but it belonged in her.

Hyde was actually pretty confident this was a sure thing. The last phase of the adoption process was to have the local agency give them custody of the kid they had chosen, as strange as that sounded. Everyone in this office knew who they were here for, and they were all expecting it to be a big, fat ‘yes’ like Jackie’s approval letter.

Yet, she was still nervous as hell.

“Don’t worry, grasshopper. We’re taking the kid home today.” He kissed her hand like he had a million times before the hospital and another million times while she slept. She smiled at him, somehow looking more secure than before.

“You really are nervous!” Sally said, she was waiting with them for the director of the House to come with Harley. “Okay, listen to me—“ Jackie put all her attention on her immediately, hardening the grip on their hands. He didn’t mind at all, as long as she felt secure, he was in. “This always happens: the director will come in with the girl, regardless of whether it’s a yes or a no.” He sighed, Jackie looked worried about this. “There’s no way to know what the answer will be…”

“Are you sure?” Jackie murmured.

“But!” She smiled, whatever she was about to say truly made her happy and she hoped it could give Jackie some security about their current situation. “I’ve been in this for far too long!” She said. Hyde wanted her to hurry with it. “When it’s a ‘no’, she starts by saying the name of the parent wanting to adopt… but if It’s a yes, she starts with ‘family’.”

“Okay, so if she calls us family, Harley will come with us?” Jackie asked, her eyes were wide open, probably happy to have something to focus on: for them to be called a family. “Oh, Steven—“

“Mamaaaa!”

But before she could say anything else, Harley was running towards them.

Jackie opened her arms wide for her to run into, and the little girl hugged her happy, her pig-tails looking especially adorable today. Hyde smiled as her when she yelled a happy ‘daddy!’ and opened her arms to indicate she wanted to go with him.

Hugging her, he sat her down on his lap between him and Jackie, who kissed her head, and immediately looked at the older woman in the room when she cleared her throat.

“Well, let me see…” She looked at her clipboard, flipping through pages until she found whatever shit she was going to read to them. “Good. Family, I’m happy to te—“

He didn’t hear anything else, he only looked at Jackie’s blushed, happy and shining face after hearing ‘family’ from the director. Sally was almost jumping behind her and Harley started to clap before Jackie finally looked at him and pronounced his name. But he kissed her, deep and soft, he kissed her, Harley between them giggling like she would do so many times after that day.

The director was laughing when he finally felt his feet on Earth again, they both looked at her and brought their attention to her instructions before standing, Harley walking between them taking his hand. Right now, Jackie was adopting her alone, but Harley was as good as his. Papers be dammed, they’d do it officially according to The Man after sharing taxes as husband and wife.

As Jackie signed everything else, Harley tugged his shirt and he looked down at her.

“Are we going home now?”

“Yep…” He smiled. “Actually, no. We first have a little party at W.B.’s—“ He smiled wider. “Your grandpa’s house.”

She seemed excited about the idea and started to jump, clapping happily like Jackie usually did. Man, not even seconds with Jackie as her mother and the kid was already all her. “I have a grandpa?”

_Damn._

“Oh, and two grandmas! Another two grandpas! And a great-grandma too!” Jackie said as excited as Harley. “And uncles and aunts, and Betsy is your cousin now!”

“Betsy is going to be there?”

Jackie looked at him, he nodded. Everyone was going to be there, everyone that mattered to them. And for Harley, that included her aunts.

“Let’s go!” Harley pulled Jackie’s hand and his, wanting them to move. “Let’s go, let’s go!”

He looked back at the counter, but the woman and Sally were nodding at them. They could go now. It was official, and the world kept spinning.

“Calm down, Harley!” Jackie said, walking behind her. He moved to take the little bag Harley had taken with her when her aunts dropped her off earlier for the process.

Sighing, he moved behind them, listening to their giggles and seeing how Jackie finally got the girl to take her hand and wait for him. Harley offered her hand to him and Jackie smiled at him when he looked at her.

“Steven, let’s go.”

“Yeah. Come on, kiddo.”

Getting there didn’t seem scary at all, after all.

*******

******

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


End file.
